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Todays Bonehead Award: Drunk 19-year-old babysitter with 4 kids in car charged with DUI on Long Island. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 5, in 1951 Dr. William Shockley announced that he had invented the junction transistor. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ In archaeology you uncover the unknown. In diplomacy you cover the known. --- Thomas Pickering It's useless trying to hold a person to anything s/he says while s/he's in love, drunk or running for office. --- Socratex There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. --- Mark Twain ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ We are now seeing a new, redesigned $20 bill. This is part of an anti-counterfeiting program to redesign all of our old currency, which has become too easy to duplicate with modern color photocopiers- a fact that was made all too clear when Xerox, in its 2012 annual report, reported profits of "$850 Billion, mostly in $20's". Independence Day Sale
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Several weeks after his birthday, I stopped by my sister's house and my 7 year old nephew greeted me with, "Thanks for the Sea Scout Signal Whistle you gave me for my birthday ! It's the best birthday present I ever got." "That's great, Did you learn how to pipe any signals on it ?" "Oh, I don't play with it," the little guy said. "My mom gives me a dollar a day not to blow it during the day and my dad gives me five dollars a week not to blow it at night." ______________________________________________________ Anni got a part time job in a local restaurant to pick up a little money. She was concerned about being able to carry the heavy trays and serve from them but a co-worker explained that there were tray stands placed throughout the restaurant. A nervous Anni served all the lunches successfully last Saturday utilizing every stand she could find. Afterward Anni was concerned about an elderly couple that had finished some time ago and paid their check, but remained sitting at the table. When Anni asked if everything had been all right, the man said quietly, " Yes, It was fine, dear, but my wife and I would like to leave now and we were wondering if she could please have her walker back?" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Drunk 19-year-old babysitter with 4 kids in car charged with DUI on Long Island. Sabrina Macri, 19, Mount Sinai, Long Island Suffolk County police arrested a 19-year-old babysitter Thursday afternoon after a good Samaritan called police to report the woman was intoxicated with four children in her car. The call came around 2 p.m. after the witness observed a driver apparently unable to locate her vehicle in the parking lot of Cedar Beach, located on Harbor Beach Road in Mount Sinai. The suspect, identified as Sabrina Macri, had four boys ranging in age from 4 to 11 in her care. Authorities say that once she located her vehicle, a black 2015 Honda Civic, Macri attempted to drive away, and the good Samaritan -- Nicole Diaz -- used her own vehicle to block the Honda until police arrived. "I just couldn't let her leave with those kids, couldn't let her leave," Diaz said. "I just pulled my car across, I blocked everybody in. She's not getting out, and no one else is." Macri, of Sound Beach, was charged with DWI, Aggravated DWI with a child passenger 15 years or younger (Leandra's Law), four counts of endangering the welfare of a child and two counts of criminal possession of a controlled substance. Prosecutors said Macri was defiant at the scene, telling the officer, "I (expletive) hate you, you guys have to let me go. I didn't do anything. So what if I had a few drinks? That's what people my age do, you (expletive) loser." Diaz said she was horrified at what she saw, and that she is happy the children are OK. "It's a very small lot," she said. "There's one way in, one way out. So I just sat at the exit, waited for her to make her move. And when she decided to drive it out of the parking lot, I wouldn't let her. You just knew that she shouldn't have been driving." Macri pleaded not guilty at her arraignment Friday. The girl's mother was in court but refused to comment as she left, though the family assured the judge that Macri would get treatment. "She's responsible for four children," Diaz said, "Sh needs to act the way someone responsible for four children should act." The judge issued an order of protection on behalf of the children. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Maria RE: HTML from MS WORD Dear Webby, I write my web pages by saving MS WORD docs as HTML. Usually that works OK. When it didn't, I asked my ISP to look at it and fix it. He got quite rude about it and was of no help. Can you fix it for me? Maria Dear Maria No, I won't, but I'll try not to get rude about it. The HTML produced by WORD does sorta work, but it is definitely not suitable for quick fixes or updating. The code looks awful and any fixes are very time consuming, especially when compared to clean HTML. Your best bet is to just write a new doc and convert that, or use a proper HTML editor to write your pages. I doubt that you will find any volunteer to fix that page for free, or even for pay. You can write the page with Open Office WRITE, and save it as HTML. That produces fairly good HTML that can be updated easily. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ "When I was a youngster," complained the frustrated father, "I was disciplined by being sent to my room without supper. But my son has his own color TV, phone, computer and DVD player. "So what do you do?" asked his friend. "I send him to MY room and I go play in HIS room!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Homemade Hardwood Floor Cleaner When we built our home, I talked to the salesman in the Janitorial Supply store and asked him how to keep my floors looking their best. He said that after mopping the floor (I add Mr. Clean which removes the scuff marks and dirt really fast), to use a wide (mine is 24") dust mop and spray dust off on it and then dust the whole floor. It leaves it shiny. This is all I have done to my floors now for 14 years and they still look great. (07/02/2006) By eletha I own a cleaning business and we make most of our own products. We use a mixture of vinegar, alcohol and water with a hint of lemon. If you have pets the alcohol disinfects and prevents cats or dogs from spraying again. The lemon gives it a fresh sent and the vinegar is a fast drying agent. Works great for all floor types, even tile, linoleum. etc. Vist our website at www.HouseCleaningProfessionals.com - we would love to hear about your homemade solutions. Thanks (07/23/2008) By Jennifer ______________________________________________________ Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________ I attended an oil exec convention once. The first speaker was from Texas. He rambled on for a good half hour and then introduced the next gent, who happened to be from Oklahoma. The Texas man said, "Oklahoma, an outlying province of Texas." The second speaker said, "Thank you, Mr. Smith, but, just to set the record straight, there ain't NO state that can out-lie Texas." ___________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ Safe way to bathe a cat 1.Prepare a tall and heavy stack of towels and tie a long string to the towel at the bottom of the stack. 2. Scrub toilet and flush several times. 3. Fill toilet with warm water and add a squirt of pet shampoo. 4. Drop cat in toilet and slam lid shut. 5. Quickly put the stack of towels on the lid. - The cat's efforts to get out will generate a good deal of sudsing and washing motions. 6. When the cat gets bored, flush toilet a couple of times to rinse the cat. 7. Lay the string that you tied to the towel at the bottom of the stack of towels on the floor out into the hallway, close the door securely. 8. Close the door securely with you safely on the HALLWAY side of it. 9. Pull on the string with short, sharp tugs to get the tall stack of towels to sway and to tumble evenly all around the toilet to absorb the water when the cat erupts from the toilet bowl. 10. Cat will sulk and plot revenge anyway, but if you feed it a pizza under the door before opening the door, it may be not too expensive. Make sure you turn all shoes and slippers upside down to avoid having them filled with tokens of revenge. ____________________________________________________ Phil and Jill had been married for many years but now were in divorce court. The judge asked, "Phil, is it true that the last three years of your marriage, you did not speak to Jill?" Phil replies, "Yes Judge, that is correct." "And how do you explain this unusual conduct?" the judge inquires. Phil replies, "Your Honor, my Ma told me not to interrupt when a woman is speaking." ____________________________________________________ | | Have a look at residential areas of popular tourist cities. My old farm house looks better and better to me! |
| Today on July 5 1806 A Spanish army repelled the British during their attempt to retake Buenos Aires, Argentina. 1811 Venezuela became the first South American country to declare independence from Spain. 1814 U.S. troops under Jacob Brown defeated a superior British force at Chippewa, Canada. 1830 France occupied the North African city of Algiers. 1832 The German government began curtailing freedom of the press after German Democrats advocate a revolt against Austrian rule. 1839 British naval forces bombarded Dingai on Zhoushan Island in China and then occupied it. 1863 U.S. Federal troops occupied Vicksburg, MS, and distributed supplies to the citizens. 1892 Andrew Beard was issued a patent for a rotary engine. 1941 German troops reached the Dnieper River in the Soviet Union. 1943 The battle of Kursk began as German tanks attack the Soviet salient. It was the largest tank battle in history. 1946 The bikini bathing suit, created by Louis Reard, made its debut during a fashion show at the Molitor Pool in Paris. Micheline Bernardini wore the two-piece outfit. 1950 U.S. forces engaged the North Koreans for the first time at Osan, South Korea. 1951 Dr. William Shockley announced that he had invented the junction transistor. 1962 Algeria became independent after 132 years of French rule. 1989 Former U.S. National Security Council aide Oliver North received a $150,000 fine and a suspended prison term for his part in the Iran-Contra affair. The convictions were later overturned. 1998 Japan joined U.S. and Russia in space exploration with the launching of the Planet-B probe to Mars. 2000 Jordanian security agents shot and killed a Syrian hijacker after he threw a grenade that exploded and wounded 15 passengers aboard a Royal Jordanian airliner. 2016 Do smiled. |
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