Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, January 1 Happy New Year, Do! Thank you, Nancy!! ___________________________________________________ Today, January 1 in 1975 The magazine "Popular Electronics" announced the invention of a person computer called Altair. MITS, using an Intel microprocessor, developed the computer. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Ohioan jailed after Christmas greeting beating __________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! _______________________________________________ There is no nonsense so gross that society will not, at some time, make a doctrine of it and defend it with every weapon of communal stupidity. --- Robertson Davies _______________________________________________ A Scottish lad and lass were sitting together on a heathery hill in the Highlands. They had been silent for a while, when the lass said, "A penny for your thoughts." The lad was a bit abashed, but he finally said, "Well, I was thinkin' how nice it would be if ye'd give me a wee bit of a kiss." So she did so. But he again lapsed into a pensive mood which lasted long enough for the lass to ask him, "What are ye thinkin' now?" To which the lad grumbled, "Well, I was hopin' ye hadn't forgot the penny!" ________________________________________________` ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Henrietta Bush, 32, Avondale, Cincinnati Ohio Ohioan jailed after Christmas greeting beating There has been another casualty in the War on Christmas . An Ohio woman is behind bars after allegedly repeatedly punching a female victim who made the mistake of wishing the assailant a Merry Christmas. According to police, Henrietta Bush, 32, pummeled the victim in the head during the December 25 attack in Avondale, a Cincinnati neighborhood. Court filings do not address the relationship, if any, between Bush and the victim, Rhonda Lewis, who suffered visible physical harm as a result of the attack. Pictured above, Bush was arrested on a misdemeanor assault charge and booked into the Hamilton County jail, where she remains locked up in lieu of $10,000 bond. Bush is scheduled for a January 9 appearance in Municipal Court. According to court records, Bush's rap sheet includes arrests for marijuana possession; theft; menacing; assault; disorderly conduct; narcotics possession; probation violation; and driving with a suspended license. (2 pages) DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: V Re: Inactivity log-off Dear Webby, I have 2 questions for you. I did not clear out the newsletter so you could see what I am seeing. What have I done to have the news letter all stacked up on one side? The second involves my work computer. I have joined the ranks of a corporate computer. We were bought out by a company that has an IT dept. Gone are all the things I used to have on my computer that made it- well, personal. I know this is silly but no more weather unless I go to their website each and every time to find the radar. No more webshots(terrible for computers per the IT dept) no more screen savers of any sort. I get to look at microsoft blue. If I am away or idle 2mins or more; up come the log-in screens(2). I am about over it. Sooooooo. is there anyway around short idle periods, no screensavers ect. I am sure safety is why- but I loved seeing my webshots when I get back to my desk or off the phone. I hate signing in after 2 mins on two separate screens each time. Waste of my time. Thanks for the help and the humor letter V Dear Dear V The messed up formatting on your AOL can be fixed, somehow. Just contact your AOL support and tell them. Your work situation is different. Those nasty meanies want you to work instead of having fun! And quite possibly they want to annoy you into leaving the company. Without knowing what they use to detect inactivity and knocking you off, about all you can do is open an email or word processor file, and park a large ball bearing ball on the UP arrow key on the keyboard. 1/2" diameter works fine. A cute polished stone works too. It just has to be heavy enough to hold the key down. Don't let them see you use that trick! You might find out just how much they want you to leave the company. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. Morris complained to his doctor, "I've been to three other doctors and none of them agreed with your diagnosis." The doctor calmly replied, "Just wait until the autopsy, then you will see that I was right." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great deal of money. The distributor noticed that the previous bill hadn't been paid. The collections manager left a voice-mail for them saying, "We can't ship your new order until you pay for the last one." The next day the collections manager received a phone call, "Please cancel the order. We can't wait that long." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Use Clothes Pins for Chip Clips This tip is so easy, maybe everyone already does it. Don't worry about buying chip and bag clips, use clothes pins! I use clothes pins to seal any bag I need to, from pasta and rice to chips and such. Much cheaper, they don't take up much room, and so handy to use! By Kim from Crawford, CO Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ I can't play fetch with my dog," Daniel said. "Why not?" "Because," he replied, "the dumb dog can't throw." ___________________________________________________ Late one afternoon, the Air Force guys out at Area 51 are surprised to see a Cessna landing at their "secret" base. They immediately impound the aircraft and haul the pilot into an interrogation room. The pilot's story is that he took off out of Las Vegas, got lost and found the base just as he was about to run out of fuel. The Air Force starts a full security check on the guy and hold him overnight. The next day they are finally convinced that the guy really was lost and is not a spy. They gas up his airplane, give him a terrifying "you did not see a base" briefing complete with threats of spending the rest of his life in prison. They say Vegas is that-a-way on this heading and send him off. The next day, here comes the Cessna again. Once again the MPs surround the plane, only this time there are two people in the plane. The same pilot jumps out and says: "Do anything you want to me, but my wife is in the plane and SHE DEMANDS to know where I was last night." ___________________________________________________ As the woman was instructing the new maid on the great care required in handling certain valuable household objects. She pointed to the dining room and said with great satisfaction, "That table goes back to Louis the Fourteenth." "Oh, that's nothing," the maid interjected. "My whole living- room set goes back to Sears the fifteenth." __________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today January 1 in 0404 The last gladiator competition was held in Rome. 1622 The Papal Chancery adopted January 1st as the beginning of the New Year (instead of March 25th). 1772 The first traveler's checks were issued in London. 1785 London's oldest daily paper "The Daily Universal Register" (later renamed "The Times" in 1788) was first published. 1797 Albany became the capital of New York state, replacing New York City. 1801 The Act of Union of England and Ireland came into force. 1801 Italian astronomer Giuseppe Piazzi became the first person to discover an asteroid. He named it Ceres. 1804 Haiti gained its independence. 1808 The U.S. prohibited import of slaves from Africa. 1863 U.S. President Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation, which declared that all slaves in the rebel states were free. 1887 Queen Victoria was proclaimed empress of India in Delhi. 1892 Ellis Island Immigrant Station formally opened in New York. 1892 Brooklyn and New York merged to form the single city of New York. 1894 The Manchester Ship Canal was officially opened to traffic. 1895 In Battle Creek, MI, C.W. Post created his first usable batch of Monks Brew (later called Postum). It was a cereal- based substitute for caffeinated drinks. 1898 Manhattan, the Bronx, Brooklyn, Queens and Staten Island were consolidated into New York City. 1900 Hawaii asked for a delegate to the Republican national convention. 1900 Nigeria became a British protectorate with Frederick Lagard as the high commissioner. 1901 The Commonwealth of Australia was founded. Lord Hopetoun officially assumed the duties as the first Governor-General. 1909 The first payments of old-age pensions were made in Britain. People over 70 received five shillings a week. 1913 The post office began parcel post deliveries. 1924 Frank B. Cooney received a patent for ink paste. 1934 Alcatraz Island officially became a Federal Prison. 1934 The Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation (FDIC) began operation. 1936 The "New York Herald Tribune" began microfilming its current issues. 1939 The Hewlett-Packard partnership was formed by Bill Hewlett and Dave Packard. 1942 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt and British Prime Minister Winston Churchill issued a declaration called the "United Nations." It was signed by 26 countries that vowed to create an international postwar World War II peacekeeping organization. 1945 France was admitted to the United Nations. 1956 Sudan gained its independence. 1958 The European Economic Community (EEC) started operations. 1959 Fidel Castro overthrew the government of Fulgencio Batista, and seized power in Cuba. 1968 Evel Knievel, stunt performing daredevil, lost control of his motorcycle midway through a jump of 141 feet over the ornamental fountains in front of Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas. 1971 Tobacco ads representing $20 million dollars in advertising were banned from TV and radio broadcast. 1973 Britain, Ireland, Denmark and Norway joined the EEC. 1975 The magazine "Popular Electronics" announced the invention of a person computer called Altair. MITS, using an Intel microprocessor, developed the computer. 1979 The United States and China held celebrations in Washington, DC, and Beijing to mark the establishment of diplomatic relations between the two countries. 1981 Greece joined the European Community. 1984 AT&T was broken up into 22 Bell System companies under terms of an antitrust agreement with the U.S. Federal government. 1986 Spain and Portugal joined the European Community (EC). 1987 A pro-democracy rally took place in Beijing's Tiananmen Square (China). 1990 David Dinkins was sworn in as New York City's first black mayor. 1992 The ESPN Radio Network was officially launched. 1992 In Kuala, Lumpur, the groundbreaking ceremony for the Petronas Towers took place. 1993 Czechoslovakia split into two separate states, the Czech Republic and Slovakia. The peaceful division had been engineered in 1992. 1994 Bill Gates, Chief Executive Officer of Microsoft and Melinda French were married. 1994 The North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA) went into effect. 1995 Frederick West, an alleged killer of 12 women and girls, was found hanged in his jail cell in Winston Green prison, in Birmingham. West had been under almost continuous watch since his arrest in 1994, but security had reportedly been relaxed in the months preceding the apparent suicide. 1995 The World Trade Organization came into existence. The group of 125 nations monitors global trade. 1998 A new anti-smoking law went into effect in California. The law prohibiting people from lighting up in bars. 1999 The euro became currency for 11 Member States of the European Union. Coins and notes were not available until January 1, 2002. 1999 In California, a law went into effect that defined "invasion of privacy as trespassing with the intent to capture audio or video images of a celebrity or crime victim engaging in a personal or family activity." 2001 The "Texas 7," rented space in an RV park in Woodland Park, CO. 2007 Binney & Smith Company became Crayola LLC under its new parent company Hallmark. 2019 Do smiled. |
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