Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, January 11 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ International Bonehead Award Kansas police arrest man who stabbed woman in front of officer ___________________________________________________ Today, January 11 in 1922 At Toronto General Hospital, Leonard Thompson became the first person to be successfully treated with insulin. _____________________________________________________ To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk. --- Thomas A. Edison (1847 - 1931) "Whatever you are trying to avoid won't go away until you confront it." --- Socratex "The only unchangeable certainty is that nothing is certain or unchangeable." --- John F. Kennedy _____________________________________________________ A guy walked into his friend's office, he found him sitting at his desk, looking very depressed. "Hey, what's up with you?", he asks. "Oh, its my wife," replied the man sadly. "She's hired a new secretary for me." "Well, nothing wrong in that. Is she blonde or brunette or a redhead ?" "Neither, her grandfather is bald." _____________________________________________________ The kindergarten class had settled down to its coloring books. Willie came up to the teacher's desk and said, "Miss Francis, I ain't go no crayons." "Willie," Miss Francis said, "you mean, "I don't have any crayons.' You don't have any crayons. We don't have any crayons. They don't have any crayons. Do you see what I'm getting at?" "Not really," Willie said, "What happened to all them crayons that nobody ain't got?" _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ A medieval astrologer prophesied to a king that his favorite mistress would soon die. Sure enough, the woman died a short time later. The king was outraged at the astrologer, certain that his prophecy had brought about the woman's death. He summoned the astrologer and commanded him: "Tell me when you will die!" The astrologer realized that the king was planning to kill him immediately, no matter what answer he gave. "I do not know when I will die," he answered finally. "I only know that whenever I die, the king will die a horrible death three days later." __________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Tuan Tran, 48, Garden City, Kansas, USA Kansas police arrest man who stabbed woman in front of officer The Garden City Police Department arrested a 48-year-old man who stabbed a woman Sunday morning in front of an officer. Garden City police officers responded to a report of a fight- in-progress around 7 a.m. in the northeast part of Garden City. When officers arrived, a woman was observed about 20 feet away who appeared to be in distress. As the officer approached the woman, 48-year-old Tuan Tran ran out of his residence toward the woman. The woman fell as she tried to flee and Tran, who had a large-blade knife, jumped on the woman and stabbed her. The officer ran towards the woman, wrestled the knife away and pulled Tran off the woman. Police say Tran was arrested after a struggle with the officer. Tran was taken to the hospital with minor injuries and was later taken to the Finney County Jail. The woman and the officer were also taken to the hospital with minor injuries. Police say an affidavit was filed, requesting the charges of attempted first-degree murder and aggravated battery on a law enforcement officer. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From:James Re: IP number in spam Dear Webby, I don't know if I am allowed to ask for so information or not but you seem to be the one to ask... You had a humor letter once and in it was a person getting a lot of spam and he traced down the IP number and new where it came from. Can I do that here at home. Thanks for any information you can give me on this... Keep the humor letters coming, they start my day off right. James Dear James The IP number is visible in the header of an email. Depending on the email program you use, it is sometimes quite easy to see the headers. Of course each email program is different, but it's usually not difficult to get it to reveal the header. Once you have the IP number, you can check at http://arin.net/whois/index.html to see who owns it, and sends a blast to the webhost who owns that. Some people even go to the trouble of finding out the address of a police station in that area and lay charges via registered snail mail. Even if nothing much comes of it, police just about anywhere answers registered mail, and quite likely yells at the spammer. If the owner of that IP number has a toll free number, then of course you can save that number and phone them up next time you are in a really really grouchy mood, and screech a temper tantrum at them. OK, let's run a contest for the best revenge trick against spammers ! To make it interesting, I will throw in a prize: A family size home page site for one year. Let's kick off that contest with my favorite revenge trick: Look for a 1-800 voice number in the spam, then use an old computer and send a fax of a picture to that voice number. With most fax programs you can of course tell them how many times to send the same fax, and to which numbers, and at what times. You can let it do it's thing while you sleep. When the spammer picks up the phone, he gets that nasty fax howl blasted at him. With most fax programs you can set the FROM number. Use your mother-in-law's number. If all else fails, get MailWasher I have used MailWasher since the 90's. It nukes the spam right on the server, without wasting my time downloading it. Have FUN! DearWebby Little Johnny loved surfing the Web, and kept track of his passwords by writing them on Post-it notes. His mother noticed his Disney password was, "MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto," and asked why it was so long. And little Johnny said, "Because, they said it has to have at least four characters." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ A woman on her way home from market was carrying a duck. A drunk staggered up to her and said ,"Hey! where'd ja get the pig?" The woman scowled at him and yelled," You stupid drunken fool, that's no pig -- it's a duck!" The drunk said,"Shhhh, quiet, I am talking to the duck." ____________________________________________ At the Labor Day barbecue a lady stood up and said that it was time to get ready for the celebrations. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every man to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living. Well, it was kind of embarrassing. The bartender was almost crushed to death. ____________________________________________ A young man from the city goes to visit his farmer uncle. For the first few days, the uncle shows him the usual things, the livestock, the crops. After three days, however, it is obvious that the nephew is getting bored, and the uncle is running out of things to amuse him with. Finally, the uncle has an idea. "Why don't you grab a gun, take the dogs, and go shooting?" This seems to cheer the nephew up, and with enthusiasm, off he goes. After a few hours, the nephew returns. "How did you enjoy that?" his uncle asks. "It was great," the nephew says. "I kinda like those dogs, so I took the cats instead. Got any more cats?" ____________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today Jan 11 in 1569 England's first state lottery was held. 1770 The first shipment of rhubarb was sent to the United States from London. 1861 Alabama seceded from the United States. 1867 Benito Juarez returned to the Mexican presidency, following the withdrawal of French troops and the execution of Emperor Maximilian. 1878 In New York, milk was delivered in glass bottles for the first time by Alexander Campbell. 1902 "Popular Mechanics" magazine was published for the first time. 1913 The first sedan-type car was unveiled at the National Automobile Show in New York City. The car was manufactured by the Hudson Motor Company. 1922 At Toronto General Hospital, Leonard Thompson became the first person to be successfully treated with insulin. 1935 Amelia Earhart Putnam became the first woman to fly solo from Hawaii to California. 1938 In Limerick, ME, Frances Moulton assumed her duties as the first woman bank president. 1942 Japan declared war against the Netherlands. The same day, Japanese forces invaded the Dutch East Indies. 1943 The United States and Britain signed treaties relinquishing extraterritorial rights in China. 1964 U.S. Surgeon General Luther Terry released a report that said that smoking cigarettes was a definite health hazard. 1973 The Open University awarded its first degrees. 1977 France released Abu Daoud, a Palestinian suspected of involvement in the massacre of Israeli athletes at the 1972 Munich Olympics. 1978 Two Soviet cosmonauts aboard the Soyuz 27 capsule linked up with the Salyut 6 orbiting space station, where the Soyuz 26 capsule was already docked. 1986 Author James Clavell signed a 5$ million deal with Morrow/Avon Publishing for the book "Whirlwind". The book is a 2,000 page novel. 1988 U.S. Vice President George Bush met with representatives of independent counsel Lawrence E. Walsh to answer questions about the Iran-Contra affair. 1991 An auction of silver and paintings that had been acquired by the late Ferdinand Marcos and his wife, Imelda, brought in a total of $20.29 million at Christie's in New York. 1996 Ryutaro Hashimoto become Japan's prime minister. He replaced Tomiichi Murayama who had resigned on January 5, 1996. 2000 The merger between AOL and Time Warner was approved by the U.S. government with restrictions. 2001 The Texas Board of Criminal Justice released a review of the escape of the "Texas 7." It stated that prison staff missed critical opportunities to prevent the escape by ignoring a fire alarm, not reporting unsupervised inmates and not demanding proper identification from inmates. 2001 The U.S. Federal Trade Commission approved the merger of America Online and Time Warner to form AOL Time Warner. 2021 Do smiled. |
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