Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, March 28 ___________________________________________________ Today, March 28 in 2010 China's Zhejiang Geely Holding Group Co. signed a deal to buy Ford Motor Co.'s Volvo car unit. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
8 The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity. --- Harlan Ellison (1934 - ) Today's Bonehead Award: Mexican illegal who was released by Chicago authorities despite ICE telling them not to, went on to rape a three-year-old girl in a McDonalds bathroom as she cried "daddy, daddy" __________________________________________ On the Upper West Side of NYC lived an assimilated Jew who was now a very militant atheist. But he sent his son to Trinity School because, despite its denominational roots, it's a great school, and completely secular. After a month, the boy comes home and says casually, "By the way Dad, do you know what Trinity means? It means the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost." The father can barely control his rage. He seizes his son by the shoulders and declares, "Danny, I'm going to tell you something now and I want you never to forget it. There is only one God... and we don't believe in him!" __________________________________________ __________________________________________ Remember....Marriage is the number one cause of divorce. "I am" may be the shortest sentence in the English language, but according to some, "I do" is the longest. ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Christopher Puente, 34, Chicago, Illinois Mexican illegal who was released by Chicago authorities despite ICE telling them not to, went on to rape a three-year-old girl in a McDonalds bathroom as she cried "daddy, daddy" A Mexican immigrant who was released by Chicago authorities despite ICE telling them not to 'went on to rape a three- year-old girl in a McDonald's bathroom as she cried ''daddy, daddy''.' Christopher Puente, 34, is accused of sexually assaulting the girl at the restaurant on 600 N. Clark St. in the River North area of the city at around 8am on February 19. The alleged attack happened while the girl's father was in another stall with her brother, who had had an accident in the restaurant. However ICE had requested that police continue detaining the previously deported felon - who had convictions for forced-entry burglary and forgery. Despite his background, Chicago declined ICE's June 2019 request to detain Puente. ICE have said this is an increasingly common battle, with the agency reporting that Cook County, which includes Chicago, denied more than 1,000 detainer requests in 2019 alone. Puente's bond hearing in Cook County heard the little girl's mouth was covered as she began whimpering 'daddy, daddy' - before her father pulled her legs from under the door to get her to safety. The horrific ordeal was relayed in court where the accused rapist appeared for the first time. Robert Guadian, field office director of Chicago Enforcement and Removal Operations (ERO), blamed 'irresponsible lawmaking' for Puentes release. 'How many more victims must there be before lawmakers realize that sanctuary policies do not protect the innocent?' Guadian said. 'Puente should have been in ICE custody last year and removed to his home country. Instead, irresponsible lawmaking allowed him to walk free and prey on our most vulnerable,' he told Fox News. Images of Puente on surveillance footage were circulated through a community alert and he was later brought in by police for an unrelated criminal trespass before being linked to the assault case. He was charged with criminal trespass after refusing to leave a local business in River North. While investigating, officers recognized him as being the man pictured and he was linked to the sexual assault case. The accused is said to have admitted to investigators he put the toddler on his lap, sexually assaulted her and covered her mouth to stop her calling for help. DeaWebby's Tech Support Pits From: David Re: Is Emergency Response mail phony? Dear Webby, Are these emails promising money from the "Emergency Relief Fund" real or phony? David Dear David RCMP, in a press release March 26, offered more information about the scam, which they say has surfaced in communities across Canada. They say the text indicates that the Emergency Relief Fund has deposited $1,375.50 into peoples bank accounts. Do not respond. Ignore the text or delete it, RCMP said in the release. Afterwards, take a few minutes and share this information with family and friends to ensure they do not fall prey to this scam. Have FUN! DearWebby
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____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________ Two Catholic boys pass an Episcopalian minister. At the sight of the reversed collar, one of them says, "Hello, Father." The other boy elbows him in the ribs. "He's no Father, you dummy. He's married and has three kids!" _____________________________________________ Greg and John were both fanatics about deep sea fishing. Each would come back from fishing trips, and tell the other big lies about the number, and sizes of the fish they caught. So Greg comes back from his latest fishing trip, and tells John, "You wouldn't believe, but in da Bahamas I caught a 500 pound herring." John says...." That's nothing, last time I fished in da Bahamas, I pulled up an old lantern from a sunken Spanish ship and da candle was still burning!" They both looked at each other, knowing that the other was lying. Finally, John said to Greg...." Look Greg, if you take 450 pounds from off your herring I'll blow out my candle ! " ____________________________________________ With no warning and clear out of the blue, a husband said to his wife, "Honey, I have invited a friend home for supper tonight." His wife replied, "What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I didn't have time to go shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal tonight!" The husband said, "I know all that." "Then why in the world did you invite your friend for supper tonight?" asked the wife. The guy answered, "Because the poor fool is thinking about getting married." | No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today March 28 1774 Britain passed the Coercive Act against Massachusetts. 1797 Nathaniel Briggs patented a washing machine. 1834 The U.S. Senate voted to censure President Jackson for the removal of federal deposits from the Bank of the United States. 1854 The Crimean War began with Britain and France declaring war on Russia. 1864 A group of Copperheads attack Federal soldiers in Charleston, IL. Five were killed and twenty were wounded. 1865 Outdoor advertising legislation was enacted in New York. The law banned "painting on stones, rocks and trees." 1885 The Salvation Army was officially organized in the U.S. 1898 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that a child born in the U.S. to Chinese immigrants was a U.S. citizen. This meant that they could not be deported under the Chinese Exclusion Act. 1905 The U.S. took full control over Dominican revenues. 1910 The first seaplane took off from water at Martinques, France. The pilot was Henri Fabre. 1911 In New York, suffragists performed the political play "Pageant of Protest." 1917 During World War I the Womens Army Auxiliary Corps (WAAC) was founded. 1922 Bradley A. Fiske patented a microfilm reading device. 1930 Constantinople and Angora changed their names to Istanbul and Ankara respectively. 1933 In Germany, the Nazis ordered a ban on all Jews in businesses, professions and schools. 1938 In Italy, psychiatrists demonstrated the use of electric-shock therapy for treatment of certain mental illnesses. 1939 The Spanish Civil War ended as Madrid fell to Francisco Franco. 1941 The Italian fleet was defeated by the British at the Battle of Matapan. 1942 British naval forces raided the Nazi occupied French port of St. Nazaire. 1945 Germany launched the last of the V-2 rockets against England. 1947 The American Helicopter Society revealed a flying device that could be strapped to a person's body. 1962 The U.S. Air Force announced research into the use of lasers to intercept missiles and satellites. 1963 Sonny Werblin announced that the New York Titans of the American Football League was changing its name to the New York Jets. (NFL) 1967 Raymond Burr starred in a TV movie titled "Ironside." The movie was later turned into a television series. 1968 The U.S. lost its first F-111 aircraft in Vietnam when it vanished while on a combat mission. North Vietnam claimed that they had shot it down. 1974 A streaker ran onto the set of "The Tonight Show starring Johnny Carson." 1979 A major accident occurred at Pennsylvania's Three Mile Island nuclear power plant. A nuclear power reactor overheated and suffered a partial meltdown. 1981 In Bangkok, Thailand, Indonesian terrorists hijacked an airplane. Four of the five terrorists were killed on March 31. 1986 The U.S. Senate passed $100 million aid package for the Nicaraguan contras. 1986 More than 6,000 radio stations of all format varieties played "We are the World" simultaneously at 10:15 a.m. EST. 1990 In Britain, a joint Anglo-U.S. "sting" operation ended with the seizure of 40 capacitors, which can be used in the trigger mechanism of a nuclear weapon. 1991 The U.S. embassy in Moscow was severely damaged by fire. 2010 China's Zhejiang Geely Holding Group Co. signed a deal to buy Ford Motor Co.'s Volvo car unit. 2020 Do smiled. |
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