Good Morning, Do, Today is Saturday, March 10 If anybody is interested in these domain names, they are for sale cheap: $20 First come, first serve. Owners have retired. taopainting.com gunwear.com Have FUN! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: NC woman was arrested for shooting inside a movie theater Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, March 10 in 1893 New Mexico State University canceled its first graduation ceremony because the only graduate was robbed and killed the night before. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ A husband is like a fire, he goes out when unattended. --- Evan Esar (1899 - 1995) Against logic there is no armor like ignorance. --- Laurence J. Peter _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The cruise ship docked at a Mexican port during a very high tide. Everyone on board was forced to use the ship's narrow gangplank as a passageway to the dock far below. The staff stood motionless when a passenger in her 70s appeared at the top of the plank. There wasn't room for anyone to assist her, so she edged along slowly and finally made it to the dock safely, to everyone's relief. As she stepped down, she turned, looked back to the top of the gangplank and shouted, "It's okay, Mother, you can come down now." ______________________________________________________ A man from Edinburgh wrote to an English editor, "If you don't stop printing those derogatory Scottish jokes, most of which imply we're cheap, I'm going to quit stealing your stupid magazine." _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Even though it has not rained yet since Sept, some flowers in Coyote Canyon off Route 78 are blooming. _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! _____________________________________________________ As a young married couple, a husband and a wife lived in a cheap housing complex near the base where he was working. Their chief complaint was that the walls were paper-thin and that they had no privacy. This was painfully obvious when one morning the husband was upstairs and the wife was downstairs on the telephone. She was interrupted by the doorbell and went to greet her neighbor. "Give this to your husband," he said thrusting a roll of toilet paper into her hands. "He's been yelling for it for 15 minutes!" _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Shameka Latreena Lynch, 30, Greenville, North Carolina NC woman started shooting in a full movie house A North Carolina woman is jailed on multiple felony charges after she allegedly opened fire in a movie theater during a dispute over assigned seats at a screening of Black Panther, according to police and court records. Investigators allege that Shameka Latrice Lynch, 30, squabbled with other moviegoers around 11:45 PM Friday at a crowded AMC theater in Greenville. During the dispute over seating arrangements for the Marvel superhero movie, Lynch allegedly pulled out a .32 caliber pistol and discharged the weapon inside the theater. Lynch, seen above, fired one round into the theater's ceiling, police allege. While the shooting resulted in no injuries, Lynch has been charged with two counts of assault with a deadly weapon with intent to kill (prosecutors have identified the victims as two men attending the Black Panther showing). Lynch is also facing a third felony count for discharging a weapon in an enclosure to incite fear. The shooting prompted police to evacuate the entire 12-screen multiplex. Lynch surrendered to police Saturday evening and was booked into the Pitt County Detention Center, where she is being held on $250,000 bond. Lynch is next due in court on March 14 _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From the Tech Support Pits: From: Richi Re: What is MailWasher Dear Webby, How does mailwasher work? is it very difficult to use? I seem to getting alot of links and spam in my email.some of the names i do notice but all that is in there is just a link to somewhere, and im afraid to click on the link.do you think its just spam?i dont want it to clog up my system if i click on the link,what do you reccommend? tyvm o dear webby for your advice and help Richi Dear Richi Mailwasher is easy to use, easier than your email program. Since you have mastered that, you have no worries. Mailwasher looks at your mail on your ISP's server, washes the spam out of it, then you just download the left over legitimate mail. Your ISP will love it! A LOT less useless file transfers. You get to see the list, just the header and a few lines, and you "pardon" mail, that should not have been flagged as spam. It happens. For example when I bitch and complain about a certain virus, MailWasher might think it is a dangerous mail and flag it as spam. That's when you mark my newsletter as FRIEND or make filters. You can make filters really easy. You click on choices like "includes" in "body", and the offending word. Then you can add, "but does not include" and a saving grace word like "Humor". That way, even if I bitch about certain spam, it washes out all other occurrences of spam, that include the trigger word, but not the Humor Letter. Like the "But not", there are lots of other boolean operators you can use. Actually, all the "Regular Expressions" are available. That makes crafting filters an exciting game. Spammers have no chance. My Mailwasher reduces all the mails per day I get to the 100 - 200, that I actually read and answer. Especially with your Comcast address, that gets harvested quite frequently, you really do need MailWasher. You can get the full PRO for under $40 at http://webby.com/mailwasher Have FUN! DearWebby Thanks to Cookie for this story: Two little boys in first grade were chosen to be the leads in their first school play. It was to be a Shakespearean play. The first little boy was to say, "My fair maiden.... I have come to snatch a kiss and fill your soul with hope." The second little boy was to reply by saying, "Hark!, a pistol shot." Well, on opening night in the school auditorium, the two little boys were a bit nervous, knowing that all the seats were going to be filled with grown-ups. The teacher told them to take their places on the stage and to remember to speak very loud as soon as the curtain goes up. The curtain rose and looking out upon the audience the two boys were terrified. They stood there frozen. So the teacher whispered for them to begin. The first boy yelled out these unforgettable words: "My fair maiden.... I have come to kiss your snatch! And fill your hole with soap." The second boy screams out....."Hark! a shistol pot, a postle shiss, a pot of shit, this is bull shit... I never wanted to be in this lousy play anyway! The audience was howling. Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. Becky and Sally Ann were doing some carpenter work on a house. Becky who was nailing down siding would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in. Sally Ann, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you throwing those nails away?" Becky explained, "When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end and I throw them away." Sally Ann got completely upset and yelled, "You moron! Those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Thanks to Cookie for this picture: HOW TO TELL THE SEX OF A BIRD This Is AMAZING!!! Until now I never fully understood how to tell, The difference Between Male and Female Birds. I always thought it had to be determined surgically. Until Now. Which of The Two Birds Is a Female??? Below are Two Birds. Study them closely... See If You Can Spot Which of The Two Is The Female. It can be done. Even by one with limited bird watching skills. Cookie Note: Not everybody will arrive at the same results! ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use the Crockpot for Stuffing Prepare your favorite stuffing and bake it in your crockpot while the turkey occupies the oven. You can prep this the day before and refrigerate, it is so much easier than stuffing it into the turkey, the turkey will cook faster, food poisoning risk is decreased and the stuffing doesn't absorb all the extra fat dripping from the turkey. By Linda Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ Christmas Break was over and the teacher was asking the class about their vacations. She turned to little Johnny and asked what he did over the break. "We visited my grandmother in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania," he replied. "That sounds like an excellent vocabulary word," the teacher said. "Can you tell the class how you spell that?" Little Johnny thought about it and said, "You know, come to think of it, we went to Ohio." | Why is water pouring out of this tree in Montenegro? |
___________________________________________________ GREAT NEWSLETTER. LOVE IT ALL JOKES, PICTURES. NEW LINKS TO OPEN, JUST EVERYTHING. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK DWANNA ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
____________________________________________________ | Today, March 10 in 0241 BC The Roman fleet sank 50 Carthaginian ships in the Battle of Aegusa. 0049 BC Julius Caesar crossed the Rubicon and invaded Italy. 1496 Christopher Columbus concluded his second visit to the Western Hemisphere when he left Hispaniola for Spain. 1629 England's King Charles I dissolved Parliament and did not call it back for 11 years. 1656 In the American colony of Virginia, suffrage was extended to all free men regardless of their religion. 1785 Thomas Jefferson was appointed minister to France. He succeeded Benjamin Franklin. 1792 John Stone patented the pile driver. 1804 The formal ceremonies transferring the Louisiana Purchase from France to the U.S. took place in St. Louis. 1806 The Dutch in Cape Town, South Africa surrendered to the British. 1814 In France, Napoleon Bonaparte was defeated by a combined Allied Army at the battle of Laon. 1848 The U.S. Senate ratified the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo, which ended the war with Mexico. 1849 Abraham Lincoln applied for a patent for a device to lift vessels over shoals by means of inflated cylinders. 1864 Ulysses S. Grant became commander of the Union armies in the U.S. Civil War. 1876 Alexander Graham Bell made the first successful call with the telephone. He spoke the words "Mr. Watson, come here, I want to see you." 1880 The Salvation Army arrived in the U.S. from England. 1893 New Mexico State University canceled its first graduation ceremony because the only graduate was robbed and killed the night before. 1894 New York Gov. Roswell P. Flower signed the nation's first dog- licensing law. 1902 The Boers of South Africa scored their last victory over the British, when they captured British General Methuen and 200 men. 1902 Tochangri, Turkey, was entirely wiped out by an earthquake. 1903 Harry C. Gammeter patented the multigraph duplicating machine. 1903 In New York's harbor, the disease-stricken ship Karmania was quarantined with six dead from cholera. 1906 In France, 1,200 miners were buried in an explosion at Courrieres. 1909 Britain extracted territorial concessions from Siam and Malaya. 1910 Slavery was abolished in China. 1912 China became a republic after the overthrow of the Manchu Ch'ing Dynasty. 1924 The U.S. Supreme Court upheld a New York state law forbidding late-night work for women. 1927 Prussia lifted its Nazi ban allowing Adolf Hitler to speak in public. 1933 Nevada became the first U.S. state to regulate drugs. 1940 W2XBS-TV in New York City aired the first televised opera as it presented scenes from "I Pagliacci". 1941 Vichy France threatened to use its navy unless Britain allowed food to reach France. 1944 The Irish refused to oust all Axis envoys and denied the accusation of spying on Allied troops. 1945 American B-29 bombers attacked Tokyo, Japan, 100,000 were killed. 1947 The Big Four met in Moscow to discuss the future of Germany. 1947 Poland and Czechoslovakia signed a 20-year mutual aid pact. 1949 Nazi wartime broadcaster Mildred E. Gillars, also known as "Axis Sally," was convicted in Washington, DC. Gillars was convicted of treason and served 12 years in prison. 1953 North Korean gunners at Wonsan fired upon the USS Missouri. The ship responded by firing 998 rounds at the enemy position. 1966 The North Vietnamese captured a Green Beret camp at Ashau Valley. 1966 France withdrew from NATO's military command to protest U.S. dominance of the alliance and asked NATO to move its headquarters from Paris. 1969 James Earl Ray pled guilty in Memphis, TN, to the assassination of Martin Luther King Jr. Ray later repudiated the guilty plea and maintained his innocence until his death in April of 1998. 1971 The U.S. Senate approved an amendment to lower the voting age to 18. 1975 The North Vietnamese Army attacked the South Vietnamese town of Ban Me Thout. 1980 Iran's leader, Ayatollah Khomeini, lent his support to the militants holding American hostages in Tehran. 1982 The U.S. banned Libyan oil imports due to their continued support of terrorism. 1986 The Wrigley Company, of Chicago, raised the price of its seven- stick pack of Wrigley's chewing gum from a quarter to 30 cents. 1987 The Vatican condemned surrogate parenting as well as test-tube and artificial insemination. 1990 Haitian President Prosper Avril was ousted 18 months after seizing power in a coup. 1991 "Phase Echo" began. It was the operation to withdraw 540,000 U.S. troops from the Persian Gulf region. 1994 White House officials began testifying before a federal grand jury about the Whitewater controversy. 1998 U.S. troops in the Persian Gulf began receiving the first vaccinations against anthrax. 2002 The Associated Press reported that the Pentagon informed the U.S. Congress in January that it was making contingency plans for the possible use of nuclear weapons against countries that threaten the U.S. with weapons of mass destruction, including Iraq and North Korea. 2018 Do smiled. |
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