Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, March 31 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Federal charges leveled against Florida man accused of firing AK-47 at rangers ___________________________________________________ Today, March 31 in 1949 Newfoundland entered the Canadian confederation as its 10th province. ____________________________________________________ The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time. --- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900) Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you. --- Fran Lebowitz (1950 - ), Social Studies (1981) ____________________________________________________ Aggravated wife to husband who's hiding behind the newspaper: "You can stop saying, 'Uh-huh.' I stopped talking an hour ago." ____________________________________________________ This psychic was jailed for false prophecies, but because he was only 4'7" tall and extremely slender, he was able to slip under the bars andmake his escape. Newspaper headline the next day stated... "SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE" The psychic was really happy he had escaped, and soon was back in business in a new location. His first customer, however, was a plainclothesman who had been searching for him. Before the psychic could escape, the detective hit the psychic with his fist to subdue him. After the arrest, the policeman was commended for striking a happy medium. ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ One of the first things you learn on your honeymoon is, when you're carrying your bride over the threshold, always go in sideways -- unless of course two broken ankles and a concussion turn you on. __________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Drew Curtis Sikes, 37, Palmetto Bay, Florida, USA Federal charges leveled against Florida man accused of firing AK-47 at rangers A Florida man who opened fire with an AK-47 rifle on officers inside Everglades National Park is facing federal charges, prosecutors announced Tuesday. Acting U.S. Attorney Juan Antonio Gonzalez said in a news release that 37-year-old Drew Curtis Sikes of Palmetto Bay is charged with attempting to kill a U.S. officer and with a weapons crime. A criminal complaint filed in Miami federal court says officers on Sunday responded initially to a call about an altercation between Sikes and his wife in the Mahogany Hammock section of the sprawling park. The FBI affidavit says the wife had visible marks and scrapes on her face. As authorities searched for Sikes, they found his white van along an Everglades roadside but he was not there. The affidavit says Sikes then began shooting sporadically from a wooded area with the AK-47 near the park rangers as they talked to him over a loudspeaker, yelling things like come get me, and I want you guys to kill me. Sikes later told authorities he fired the shots into the air and not at a specific official. Eventually, Miami-Dade police arrived and took over negotiations for Sikes to surrender, which he did without incident after an hour. The rifle was left in the woods. Authorities say he fired about 50 rounds before giving up. No one was seriously injured in the shooting. Court records did not list an attorney for Sikes who could comment on his behalf. Sikes had an initial court appearance scheduled Tuesday. Prosecutors want him held without bail. The FBI affidavit also says Sikes was charged earlier this month with a domestic violence charge of aggravated assault with a firearm involving his wife. A Miami-Dade County judge allowed his release on bond March 21 with an order that Sikes stay away from his wife. The FBI affidavit says Sikes' wife told rangers he had held her in captivity for days and that he was going to kill her. Shooting at six cops shouldget him free room and board for 60 to 120 years. If he was suicidal, there is a creek near there with a whole bunch of very nice alligators. I took pictures of a few there, that were well over 20 feet long. On land they are slow and not very aggressive, but in the water, they are fast and deadly. They would have sent im to hell in seconds. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Theo Re: Is OneDrive secure? Dear Webby I had thought that Microsoft Onedrive was rreasonably secure, but the Tuesday bonehead award went to somebody, who got reported to the cops because he had child porno on his Microsoft Onedrive. I don't have child porno or any porno on mine, but it really irks me to know that the socialist clowns at Microsoft are giggling and laughing at my artwork. What do you recommend? Theo Dear Theo Just dig out your old camera chips. Copy them onto the hard drive and from there onto a new high capacity camera chip. Then you can erase all the old camera chips, and use them for your back-ups. Even if you have to buy a chip or two, it's not a big deal. They are cheap now. Have FUN! DearWebby Ever notice how a 4 year olds voice is louder than 200 adult voices? Several years ago, I returned home from a trip just when a storm hit with > crashing thunder and severe lightning. As I came into my bedroom about 2 a.m., I found my two children in bed with my wife, apparently scared by the loud > storm. I resigned myself to sleep in the guest bedroom that night. The next > day,I talked to the children, and explained that it was O.K. to sleep with Mom when the storm was bad, but when I was expected home, please don't sleep with Mom that night. They said OK. After my next trip several weeks later, my wife and > the children picked me up in the terminal at the appointed time. Since the plane was late, there were hundreds of other folks waiting for their arriving passengers, also. As I entered the waiting area, my son saw me, and came running, shouting, "Hi,Dad! I've got some good news!" As I waved back, I said loudly, "What's the good news?" "Nobody slept with Mommy while you were away this time!" Alex shouted. The airport became very quiet, | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story about her then > 4 yr. old daughter. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. 'Be still, my heart,' thought my friend, 'my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps!' Then the child spoke into the instrument: "Wowcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?" ____________________________________________ A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr.Sugarbrown's daughter." Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown." The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?" She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not." ____________________________________________ A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way > to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because most people are sleeping." ____________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, March 31 in 1492 King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella of Spain issued the Alhambra edict expelling Jews who were unwilling to convert to Christianity. 1776 Abigail Adams wrote to her husband John that women were "determined to foment a rebellion" if the new Declaration of Independence failed to guarantee their rights. 1779 Russia and Turkey signed a treaty concerning military action in Crimea. 1831 Quebec and Montreal were incorporated as cities. 1854 The U.S. government signed the Treaty of Kanagawa with Japan. The act opened the ports of Shimoda and Hakotade to American trade. 1862 Skirmishing between Rebels and Union forces took place at Island 10 on the Mississippi River. 1870 In Perth Amboy, NJ, Thomas Munday Peterson became the first black to vote in the U.S. 1880 Wabash, IN, became the first town to be completely illuminated with electric light. 1885 Binney & Smith Company was founded in New York City. The company later became Crayola, LLC. 1889 In Paris, the Eiffel Tower officially opened. 1900 The W.E. Roach Company was the first automobile company to put an advertisement in a national magazine. The magazine was the "Saturday Evening Post". 1900 In France, the National Assembly passed a law reducing the workday for women and children to 11 hours. 1901 In Russia, the Czar lashed out at Socialist- Revolutionaries with the arrests of 72 people and the seizing of two printing presses. 1902 In Tennessee, 22 coal miners were killed by an explosion. 1904 In India, hundreds of Tibetans were slaughtered by the British. 1905 Kaiser Wilhelm arrived in Tangier proclaiming to support for an independent state of Morocco. 1906 The Conference on Moroccan Reforms in Algerciras ended after two months with France and Germany in agreement. 1908 250,000 coal miners in Indianapolis, IN, went on strike to await a wage adjustment. 1909 Serbia accepted Austrian control over Bosnia-Herzegovina. 1917 The U.S. purchased and took possession of the Virgin Islands from Denmark for $25 million. 1918 For the first time in the U.S., Daylight Saving Time went into effect. 1921 Great Britain declared a state of emergency because of the thousands of coal miners on strike. 1923 In New York City, the first U.S. dance marathon was held. Alma Cummings set a new world record of 27 hours. 1932 The Ford Motor Co. debuted its V-8 engine. 1933 The U.S. Congress authorized the Civilian Conservation Corps to relieve rampant unemployment. 1939 Britain and France agreed to support Poland if Germany threatened invasion. 1940 La Guardia airport in New York officially opened to the public. 1941 Germany began a counter offensive in North Africa. 1946 Monarchists won the elections in Greece. 1947 John L. Lewis called a strike in sympathy for the miners killed in an explosion in Centralia, IL, on March 25, 1947. 1948 The Soviets in Germany began controlling the Western trains headed toward Berlin. 1949 Winston Churchill declared that the A-bomb was the only thing that kept the U.S.S.R. from taking over Europe. 1949 Newfoundland entered the Canadian confederation as its 10th province. 1958 The U.S. Navy formed the atomic submarine division. 1959 The Dalai Lama (Lhama Dhondrub, Tenzin Gyatso) began exile by crossing the border into India where he was granted political asylum. Gyatso was the 14th Daila Lama. 1960 The South African government declared a state of emergency after demonstrations led to the death of more than 50 Africans. 1966 An estimated 200,000 anti-war demonstrators march in New York City. (New York) 1966 The Soviet Union launched Luna 10, which became the first spacecraft to enter a lunar orbit. 1967 U.S. President Lyndon Johnson signed the Consular Treaty, the first bi-lateral pact with the Soviet Union since the Bolshevik Revolution. 1970 The U.S. forces in Vietnam down a MIG-21, it was the first since September 1968. 1976 The New Jersey Supreme Court ruled that Karen Anne Quinlan could be disconnected from a respirator. Quinlan remained comatose until 1985 when she died. 1980 U.S. President Carter deregulated the banking industry. 1981 In Bangkok, Thailand, four of five Indonesian terrorists were killed after hijacking an airplane on March 28. 1986 167 people died when a Mexicana Airlines Boeing 727 crashed in Los Angeles. 1989 Canada and France signed a fishing rights pact. 1991 Albania offered a multi-party election for the first time in 50 years. Incumbent President Ramiz Alia won. 1991 Iraqi forces recaptured the northern city of Kirkuk from Kurdish guerillas. 1994 "Nature" magazine announced that a complete skull of Australppithecus afarensis had been found in Ethiopia. The finding is of humankind's earliest ancestor. 1998 U.N. Security Council imposed arms embargo on Yugoslavia. 1998 For the first time in U.S. history the federal government's detailed financial statement was released. This occurred under the Clinton administration. 1999 Three U.S. soldiers were captured by Yugoslav soldiers three miles from the Yugoslav border in Macedonia. 2000 In Uganda, officials set the number of deaths linked to a doomsday religious cult, the Movement for the Restoration of the Ten Commandments, at more than 900. In Kanungu, a March 17 fire at the cult's church killed more than 530 and authorities subsequently found mass graves at various sites linked to the cult. 2004 Air America Radio launched five stations around the U.S. 2004 Google Inc. announced that it would be introducing a free e-mail service called Gmail. 2021 Do smiled. |
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