Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, December 6 In the late 60's this whas the evening when I dressed up as Santa, and hopped on my motorcycle to visit people, including the school for juvenile delinquents. Imagine a Santa on a fairly noisy bike riding through a snow storm, squinting against the snow flakes but grinning anyway. Good memories! If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! Thank you, Jim !! ___________________________________________________ International Bonehead Award Bald Kentucky man rioted in hair salon ____________________________________ Today, December 5 in 1774 Austria became the first nation to introduce a state education system. _____________________________________________________ The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax. --- Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955) _____________________________________________________ >From Carol Chocolate is a Vegetable ------------------------ Chocolate is derived from cacao beans. Bean = vegetable. Sugar is derived from either sugar CANE or sugar BEETS. Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable. To go one step further, chocolate candy bars also contain milk, which is dairy. So candy bars are a health food. Chocolate-covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want. If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly. The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot. Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite, and you'll eat less. If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves. (We're testing this with other snack foods as well.) If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don't they actually counteract each other? Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger. Therefore, you need to eat more chocolate. Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done. A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Now, isn't that handy? If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you? If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated. You can't let that happen, can you? _____________________________________________________ Male Kestrel ___________________________________________________ The man says to his hair stylist, "My hair is falling out. What can I use to keep it in?" The stylist replies, "Might I suggest a shoebox?" _______________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jeffery Trent, 46, Lawrenceburg, Kentucky, USA Bald Kentucky man rioted in hair salon A bald Kentucky man caused a disturbance at a salon after he asked a worker if she had a product to bring his hair back and she told him no, according to police who busted the chrome-domed invader. Jeffery Trent, 46, was arrested late last month after allegedly causing a disturbance inside a salon in Lawrenceburg, a city 25 miles west of Lexington. As detailed in a court citation, the 63, 250-pound Trent walked into the Frame Clinic and Gallery around 10:40 AM and asked about product to bring his hair back. An employee at the salon--which also doubles as an art gallery and frame shop--told Trent (seen above) that no such magic potion was available. At this point, cops report, Trent became belligerent and created a disturbance inside the business. He was subsequently arrested on a misdemeanor disorderly conduct charge. Trent--whose hair color is listed as BALD in police and jail records--was booked into the Shelby County Detention Center. In an unrelated case, Trent, who remains behind bars, is facing charges for arson, criminal mischief, and violating a protective order. He won't have to worry about Christmas dinner. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Carol RE: Is Open better than MS Office? Dear Webby, Is Open Office better than MS Office? Carol Dear Carol Microsoft writes lots that theirs is better. The guys and gals that write Open Office just grin and keep quietly adding features. Microsoft Office has major updates every few years, and like Windows updates, that usually causes a lot of cussing. Open Office and Office libre have frequent but very unoptrusive updates, that don't cause any problems. You just get a few new features, that you might or might not notice. Either one will get your work done. Open Office and Libre Office will do it for free, and without any cussing. Have FUN! DearWebby | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ I figured out why they call our language the "Mother Tongue." Fathers never get a chance to use much of it. ____________________________________________ A man was on a a long walk in the country. He became thirsty so decided to stop at a little cottage and ask for something to drink. The lady of the house invited him in and served him a bowl of soup by the fire. There was a wee pig running around the kitchen, running up to the visitor and giving him a great deal of attention. The visitor commented that he had never seen a pig this friendly. The housewife replied: "Ah, he's not that friendly. That's his bowl you're using." ____________________________________________ To pass the time while our plane was being de-iced, the flight attendants played a trivia game with the passengers. They asked us to guess the total number of years the three of them had worked for the airlines. After an attendant collected our estimates, we heard the announcement: "The correct answer is 26 years. For the two people who came closest with 28 years, we have prizes. And for the passenger in seat 12F who guessed 85 years, would you please step off the plane once we are airborne?" _______________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today December 6 in 1735 In London, French surgeon Claudius Amyand peformed the first successful appendectomy at St. George's Hospital. The patient was an 11-year old boy that had swallowed a pin. 1774 Austria became the first nation to introduce a state education system. 1790 The U.S. Congress moved from New York to Philadelphia. 1865 The 13th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was ratified. The amendment abolished slavery in the U.S. 1876 The city of Anaheim was incorporated for a second time. 1877 Thomas Edison demonstrated the first gramophone, with a recording of himself reciting Mary Had a Little Lamb. 1883 "Ladies' Home Journal" was published for the first time. 1884 The construction of the Washington Monument was completed by Army engineers. The project took 34 years. 1889 Jefferson Davis died in New Orleans. He was the first and only president of the Confederate States of America. 1907 In Monongah, WV, 361 people were killed in America's worst mine disaster. 1917 More than 1,600 people died when two munitions ships collided in the harbor at Halifax, Nova Scotia. 1917 Finland proclaimed independence from Russia. 1921 The Catholic Irish Free State was created as a self-governing dominion of Britain when an Anglo-Irish treaty was signed. 1923 U.S. President Calvin Coolidge became the first president to give a presidential address that was broadcast on radio. 1926 In Italy, Benito Mussolini introduced a tax on bachelors. 1947 Everglades National Park in Florida was dedicated by U.S. President Truman. 1957 AFL-CIO members voted to expel the International Brotherhood of Teamsters. The Teamsters were readmitted in 1987. 1957 America's first attempt at putting a satellite into orbit failed when the satellite blew up on the launch pad at Cape Canaveral, FL. 1973 Gerald R. Ford was sworn in as the vice-president of the United States after vice-president Spiro Agnew resigned. 1982 11 soldiers and 6 civilians were killed when a bomb exploded in a pub in Ballykelly, Northern Ireland. The Irish National Liberation Army was responsible for planting the bomb. 1983 In Jerusalem, a bomb planted on a bus exploded killing six Israelis and wounding 44. 1989 The worst mass shooting in Canadian history occurred when a man gunned down 14 women at the University of Montreal's school of engineering. The man then killed himself. 1989 Egon Krenz resigned as leader of East Germany. 1990 Iraq announced that it would release all its 2,000 foreign hostages. 1992 Germany's primary political parties agreed to tighten postwar asylum laws. 1992 In India, thousands of Hindu extremists destroyed a mosque. The following two months of Hindu-Muslim rioting resulted in at least 2,000 people being killed. 1993 Former priest James R. Porter was sentenced to 18 to 20 years in prison. Porter had admitted molesting 28 children in the 1960s. 1994 Orange County, CA, filed for bankruptcy protection due to investment losses of about $2 billion. The county is one of the richest in the U.S. and became the largest municipality to file for bankruptcy. 1997 A Russian Antonov 124 military transport crashed into a residential area in Irkutsk, Russia, shortly after takeoff. 70 people were killed. 1998 In Venezuela, former Lieutenant Colonel Hugo Chavez was elected president. He had staged a bloody coup attempt against the government six years earlier. 1998 Astronauts aboard the space shuttle Endeavour connected the first two building blocks of the international space station in the shuttle cargo bay. 2002 Winona Ryder was sentenced to 36 months of probation and 480 hours of community service stemming from her conviction for shoplifting from Saks Fifth Avenue. She was also ordered to pay $10,000 in fines and restitution. 2002 Officials released the detailed plans for a $4.7 million memorial commemorating Princess Diana. The large oval fountain was planned to be constructed in London's Hyde Park. 2020 Do smiled. |
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