Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, August 25 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! ___________________________________________________ Bonehead award Inmate stabs two correction officers at Connecticut facility ___________________________________________________ Q Nothing so fortifies a friendship as a belief on the part of one friend that he is superior to the other. --- Honore de Balzac (1799 - 1850) To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered. --- Voltaire (1694 - 1778) That is the greatest fallacy, the wisdom of old men. They do not grow wise. They grow careful. --- Ernest Hemingway (1899 - 1961) ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ History: 1939, The movie "Wizard of Oz" opened around the United States. ___________________________________________________ I figured out why they call our language the "Mother Tongue." Fathers never get a chance to use much of it. __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ A man was on a a long walk in the country. He became thirsty so decided to stop at a little cottage and ask for something to drink. The lady of the house invited him in and served him a bowl of soup by the fire. There was a wee pig running around the kitchen, running up to the visitor and giving him a great deal of attention. The visitor commented that he had never seen a pig this friendly. The housewife replied: "Ah, he's not that friendly. That's his bowl you're using." _____________________________________________ To pass the time while our plane was being de-iced, the flight attendants played a trivia game with the passengers. They asked us to guess the total number of years the three of them had worked for the airlines. After an attendant collected our estimates, we heard the announcement: "The correct answer is 26 years. For the two people who came closest with 28 years, we have prizes. And for the passenger in seat 12F who guessed 85 years, would you please step off the plane once we are airborne?" ____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) _____________________________________________________ Why is a joke like sex? Neither is any good if you don't get it. _____________________________________________________ One Sunday morning as the minister was preaching the children's sermon, he reached into his bag of props and pulled out an egg. He pointed at the object and asked the children, "What's in here?" "I know! I know!" a little boy exclaimed. "Pantyhose!" ___________________________________________________ >From Chuck Even though I was an engineering student at the University of Maryland, chemistry was a required course. The professor, on the first day of class, asked everyone to name the most outstanding contribution chemistry had made to society. When my turn came, I answered, "Blondes!" _____________________________________________________ One Sunday morning as the minister was preaching the children's sermon, he reached into his bag of props and pulled out an egg. He pointed at the object and asked the children, "What's in here?" "I know! I know!" a little boy exclaimed. "Pantyhose!" ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ >From Connie I'm not sure if this is the right addy to use for submitting anything, but this is what a friend told me about the reason the chicken crossed the road... LOL Question: Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? Answer: To Get Away From the OLD Rooster Who Discovered Viagra..... -------- Hi Connie Somebody should tell the chicken with the headache that OTHER birds, who don't have a headache, are crossing the road in the other direction. :-) ___________________________________________________ The mistress of an English manor had just hired a new house maid, an Irish lass, straight out of the country. The first day she was dusting in the Smoking room where the Master of the house sat reading. On the mantel, she saw and dusted a small bowl containing a couple of small round white balls. She, being curious and not bashful, asked, "What are these?" He looked up, saw where she was pointing, and answered, "Golf balls." She said, "OH!", and went on dusting. A few days later, she was dusting again in the same room, where the master was again reading. Again, in the same bowl were small white balls, only now there were four. She said, "I see you shot another Golf." __________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Carol RE: Is Open better than MS Office? Dear Webby, Is Open Office better than MS Office? Carol Dear Carol Microsoft writes lots that theirs is better. The guys and gals that write Open Office just grin and keep quietly adding features. Microsoft Office has major updates every few years, and like Windows updates, that usually causes a lot of cussing. Open Office and Office libre have frequent but very unoptrusive updates, that don't cause any problems. You just get a few new features, that you might or might not notice. Either one will get your work done. Open Office and Libre Office will do it for free, and without any cussing. Have FUN! DearWebby ___________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work,Please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it!Please, help me stay online! _____________________________________________ ________________________________________________ A Bonehead award has been reported by Rock Joe Baltas , 35, Garner Correctional Institute, Meriden, Connecticut, USA Inmate stabs two correction officers at Connecticut facility Two officers were stabbed at a correctional facility in Newtown, Connecticut on Tuesday. The Connecticut Department of Correction reported that the incident happened at the Garner Correctional Institute. Officials say an inmate used a sharpened toothbrush to stab one officer in the neck and the other in the torso. The attacker was immediately secured and transported to the MacDougall-Walker Correctional Institutions Restrictive Housing Unit, officials said. The officers were treated at the hospital and released. The attacker was identified as 35-year-old Joe Baltas of Meriden. Baltas is serving a life sentence for murder, according to the departments website. He last entered the Department of Correction on October 26, 2006, officials said. DOC Commissioner Angel Quiros released a statement after the stabbing: As Commissioner, this is my worst fear, that our brave staff members are attacked and injured. I rushed to the hospital as soon as I learned of the assault, and thank God, they are all right. This is a sobering reminder of the dangers our courageous correctional professionals face on a daily basis. We must always remain vigilant. I am doubling down on my efforts to ensure the safety of these fine men and women. State police and the DOC are investigating the incident. Baltas is expected to get out of Solitary Confinement in about 35 years. Maybe... __________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the humor letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work, please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it! Please, help me stay online! __________________________________________________ History Today August 25, in Today, Aug 25, in 1718, Hundreds of colonists from France arrived in Louisiana. Some settled in present-day New Orleans. 1814, The U.S. Library of Congress was destroyed by British forces. 1825, Uruguay declared independence from Brazil. 1840, Joseph Gibbons received a patent for the seeding machine. 1875, Captain Matthew Webb swam from Dover, England, to Calais, France making him the first person to swim the English Channel. The feat took about 22 hours. 1902, "Al-Hoda" began publication in New York City making it the first Arabic daily newspaper in the U.S. 1916, The National Park Service was established as part of the U.S. Department of the Interior. 1920, Ethelda Bleibtrey won the 100-meter freestyle swimming competition in Antwerp, Belgium. She was the first woman to win an Olympic competition for the U.S. 1920, The first airplane to fly from New York to Alaska arrived in Nome. 1921, The U.S. signed a peace treaty with Germany. 1939, The movie "Wizard of Oz" opened around the United States. 1940, Arno Rudolphi and Ann Hayward were married while suspended in parachutes at the Worlds Fair in New York City. 1941, Soviet and British troops invaded Iran. This was in reaction to the Shah's refusal to reduce the number of German residents. 1941, Allied forces invaded Iran. Within four days the Soviet Union and England controlled Iran. 1941, U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt signed the bill appropriating funds for construction of the Pentagon. 1944, Paris, France, was liberated by Allied forces ending four years of German occupation. 1944, Romania declared war on Germany. 1949, NBC Radio debuted "Father Knows Best." The show went to TV in 1954. 1950, U.S. President Truman ordered the seizure of U.S. railroads to avert a strike. 1972, In Great Britain, computerized axial tomography (CAT scan) was introduced. 1978, The Turin shroud believed to be the burial cloth of Jesus Christ went on display for the first time in 45 years. 1981, The U.S. Voyager 2 sent back pictures and data about Saturn. The craft came within 63,000 miles of the planet. 1983, The U.S. and the Soviet Union signed a $10 billion grain pact. 1987, Saudi Arabia denounced the "group of terrorists" that ran the Iranian government. 1988, Iran and Iraq began talks in Geneva after ending their eight years of war. 1990, Military action was authorized by the United Nations to enforce the trade embargo that had been placed on Iraq after their invasion of Kuwait. 1991, Byelorussia declared independence from the Soviet Union. 1992, It was reported by researchers that cigarette smoking significantly increased the risk of developing cataracts. 1995, Harry Wu, human rights activist, returned to the United States. He said the spying case against him in China was "all lies." 1997, The tobacco industry agreed to an $11.3 billion settlement with the state of Florida. 1998, A survey released said that 1/3 of Americans use the Internet. 2023, Do smiled.
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Go to TOP
Well, Do , that's all for today.
Have FUN !
Dear Webby from Webby.com
Please give a friend a subscription to the Humor Letter
If the greeting on top does NOT have your first name,
or at least your favorite nickname, please tell me.
I can correct that in two seconds and greet you properly
from then on.
If you want to give a gift subscription to a friend, but don't
have time to subscribe her or him, just hit REPLY and tell me.
I will gladly enter them for you and send them a confirmation request.
To reply to me personally, just hit REPLY or write to humor@webby.com
If you do not normally get the Humor Letter every day, and this was the first time,
then a friend sent you a one time sample or maybe even gave you a gift subscription.
If you like the Humor Letter, then you can subscribe at http://webby.com/sub.html
You can also UNsubscribe there.
If you don't want to receive the Webby Humor Letter,
please unsubscribe by clicking the link below:
You are currently subscribed to the Regular HTML version with this address:
newsletter@newslettercollector.com
UNSUBSCRIBE from the regular HTMLversion Give a friend a free gift subscription to the Humor Letter | . |
