Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, April 28 ______________________________________________________ Today, April 28 in 1965 "Pampers" were patented by R.C. Duncan. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Az Woman made laborer have sex with her while her husband held him at gunpoint ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Look wise, say nothing, and grunt. Speech was given to conceal thought. --- Sir William Osler (1849 - 1919) _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A old man stops by a cafe for breakfast. After paying the tab, he checks his pockets and leaves three pennies for a tip. As he strides toward the door, his waitress muses, only half to herself, "You know, you can tell a lot about a man by the tip he leaves." The old man turns around, curiosity getting the better of him. "Oh, really? Tell me, what does my tip say?" "Well, this penny tells me you're a thrifty man." Barely able to conceal his pride, the man utters, "Hmm, true enough." "And this penny, it tells me you're a bachelor." Surprised at her perception, he says, "Well, that's true, too." "And the third penny tells me that your father was also a bachelor." ______________________________________________________` _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Brenda Acuna-Aguero, 39, Jorge Murrieta-Valenzuela, 45, Phoenix, Arizona Az Woman made laborer have sex with her while her husband held him at gunpoint It's a familiar scene in Phoenix, and all over the country: Early in the morning, day laborers congregate in the parking lot outside a Home Depot, hoping to find work. Landscapers, contractors and construction crews stop by on their way to job sites and grab as many people as they need, offering them a flat fee or a meager hourly wage for a hard day's labor. The setup is rife with abuse, and the laborers, often immigrants with little knowledge of English, frequently find themselves on the losing end of exploitative arrangements. Wage theft is common, and workers have become targets for robbers because they are often reluctant to report crimes to the police. And, as one day laborer from the Mexican state of Sonora learned last week, things can go very wrong after you jump into a stranger's truck. Phoenix police say a couple held the man at gunpoint, sexually assaulting him and then blackmailing him with photos. And they say it's not the first time the pair have done this. On April 8, the man was looking for work at a Home Depot on the west side of Phoenix when police said Brenda Acuna-Aguero, 39, picked him up, telling him that she and her husband needed help moving some items inside their home. Once they got to the woman's ordinary-looking ranch house, the situation quickly took a strange turn. The man, who The Washington Post is not naming because he is a victim of sexual assault, later told police that Acuna-Aguero had started to make sexual comments to him, telling him that it was her fantasy to have sex with a laborer. Uncomfortable with the situation, he initially played along. Once he realized that she was serious about wanting to have sex with him, though, he told her straight out that it wasn't going to happen. Then, the woman's husband burst in the room, clutching a black rifle. Jorge Murrieta-Valenzuela, 45, placed the barrel of the gun on the laborer's chest and told him that he would shoot him if he didn't have sex with his wife, according to a police affidavit. The laborer complied, and Murrieta-Valenzuela took photos and filmed them with his cellphone while directing them into different positions, police wrote. Afterward, the couple forced the victim to go through his phone, point out his wife's number and call her so that they could make sure that it really was his spouse. Then they confiscated his Mexican visa and Sonoran driver's license, telling him that they were going to hold on to the documents until he came back and had sex with Acuna-Aguero again. The victim was told to return the next day at 9 a.m., or else the couple would send the photos of him having sex with Acuna- Aguero to his wife in Mexico, the affidavit says. They said they would get Viagra for him, and Murrieta-Valenzuela gave the man a ride back to the Home Depot. Shortly after dropping him off, though, he sent the laborer a message on WhatsApp, saying that he had changed his mind. The man needed to come back to their house right away, he insisted. When the laborer didn't reply, Murrieta-Valenzuela allegedly started to threaten him, saying that he needed to come over and have sex with Acuna-Aguero in the next 10 minutes unless he wanted his wife to see the revealing photographs. The man ignored the apparent attempt to blackmail him. Not long afterward, he heard from his wife: Someone had sent her pictures of him having sex with another woman. A friend eventually gave the man a ride back to the couple's home. But Murrieta-Valenzuela, angry that the laborer hadn't come alone, reportedly refused to give back his visa and driver's license. Finally, the victim called the police. Investigators quickly determined that the scenario that the victim described hadn't been an isolated occurrence. After obtaining a search warrant for Murrieta-Valenzuela's cellphone, they discovered photos and videos indicating that the couple had participated in a similar incident in March, with a victim whom detectives were unable to identify. During an interview with police, Murrieta-Valenzuela admitted that the couple had done the same thing on at least four occasions with other random men, the affidavit says. According to the criminal complaint filed in Maricopa County Superior Court on Friday, Murrieta-Valenzuela confirmed all the key details of the most recent victim's story, telling detectives that he had been participating in a sexual fantasy scenario with his wife. Police found photos and videos on his phone that backed up the laborer's account, including photos that Murrieta-Valenzuela had taken of the man's visa and driver's license. They also noted that Acuna-Aguero had a bruise on her upper left thigh and what appeared to be scars or burn marks on her stomach, which matched with what the victim had told them. At first, Acuna-Aguero claimed that the encounter with the day laborer had initially been consensual and that her husband had watched from another room before coming in with a rifle and ordering the victim to have sex with her again, this time at gunpoint. She told police that she had no idea that Murrieta- Valenzuela had planned on confronting the man with a gun. But when detectives told her that they had video evidence from previous encounters that suggested otherwise, she admitted that she had been in on the plan. The rifle was only intended to scare the men, not to hurt them, she insisted. Acuna-Aguero and Murrieta-Valenzuela each face felony charges of sexual assault, aggravated assault and unlawful recording of a person and are being held on $250,000 bond. Both have been assigned court-appointed attorneys From: Susan Re: Is Open Office OK for business? Dear Webby I tried to get my brother's old Microsoft Office after he left college, to use in my business. He told me to use Open Office, and that MS Office was only used in college "because the shiny shoes get bribed and/or were scared of having to learn someting new." He said Open Office was not only free, but actually better than MS Office. Is that true? Susan Dear Susan Yes, that is indeed true. Open Office has more features that are appreciated daily in the business world, for example saving invoices or quotes or flyers as PDF files, and it can save files not only in the Open Standard format, but even in Word perfect or Microsoft format. If both cost the same, I would buy Open Office. However, since Open Office is free, and always will be, the choice is quite clear. Also check out Office Libre. It is similar to Open Office, but has slightly different ways to organize menus. Some people prefer one, some prefer the other, and they have great arguments about it. The produced work is the same. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. Two husbands, Greg and Paul, were discussing their married lives. Although happily married, they admitted that there were arguments sometimes. Then Greg said, "I've made one great discovery. I now know how to always have the last word." "Wow!" said Paul, "How do you manage that?" "It's easy," replied Greg. "My last words are always 'Yes, Dear.'" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Farmer: On a typical day I have to get up at six in the morning, then I work for five hours, then I take out a few minutes for lunch, then I work another five hours... City Man: With all that work, what do you grow? Farmer: Tired. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Get the Most From Your Doctor's Visit Before visiting the doctor, make sure to write down any questions you have so that you don't forget to ask them. Doctors are usually in a hurry so don't let them rush you and make sure all your questions are answered before he/she rushes off to the next patient. thriftyfun.Com ____________________________________________________ | | Most amazing Cirque du Soleil Kurios |
___________________________________________________ A radical feminist is getting on a bus when, just in front of her, a man gets up from his seat. She thinks to herself, "Here's another man trying to keep up the customs of a patriarchal society by offering a poor, defenseless woman his seat," so she pushes him back onto the seat. A few minutes later, the man tries to get up again. She is still insulted so she refuses to let him up again. Finally, the man says, "Look, you silly bimbo, you've got to let me get up. I'm twelve blocks past my stop already." ___________________________________________________ An old man limped into the doctor's office and said, "Doctor, my knee hurts so bad, I can hardly walk!" The doctor slowly eyed him from head to toe, paused and then said, "Sir, how old are you?" "I'm 98," the man announced proudly. The doctor just sighed, and looked at him again. Finally he said, "Sir, I'm sorry. I mean, just look at you. You are almost one hundred years old, and you're complaining that your knee hurts? Well, what did you expect?" The old man said, "Well, my other knee is 98 years old too, and it doesn't hurt!" ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
A modern mother is explaining to her little girl about pic- tures in the family photo album. "This is the geneticist with your surrogate mother and here's your sperm donor and your father's clone. This is me holding you when you were just a frozen embryo. The lady with the very troubled look on her face is your aunt, she's the family genealogist who draws those trees with the family branches." ___________________________________________________ | Today April 28 in 1282 - Villagers in Palermo led a revolt against French rule in Sicily. 1635 - Virginia Governor John Harvey was accused of treason and removed from office. 1686 - The first volume of Isaac Newton's "Principia Mathamatic" was published. 1788 - Maryland became the seventh state to ratify the U.S. constitution. 1789 - A mutiny on the British ship Bounty took place when a rebel crew took the ship and set sail to Pitcairn Island. The mutineers left Captain W. Bligh and 18 sailors adrift. 1818 - U.S. President James Monroe proclaimed naval disarmament on the Great Lakes and Lake Champlain. 1896 - The Addressograph was patented by J.S. Duncan. 1902 - A revolution broke out in the Dominican Republic. 1910 - First night air flight was performed by Claude Grahame- White in England. 1914 - W.H. Carrier patented the design of his air conditioner. 1916 - The British declared martial law throughout Ireland. 1919 - The League of Nations was founded. 1920 - Azerbaijan joined the USSR. 1923 - The British Empire Exhibition Stadium (or Empire Stadium) opened to the public. 1930 - The first organized night baseball game was played in Independence, Kansas. 1932 - The yellow fever vaccine for humans was announced. 1937 - The first animated-cartoon electric sign was displayed on a building on Broadway in New York City. It was created by Douglas Leight. 1945 - Benito Mussolini and his mistress Clara Petacci were executed by Italian partisans as they attempted to flee the country. 1946 - The Allies indicted Tojo with 55 counts of war crimes. 1947 - Norwegian anthropologist Thor Heyerdahl and five others set out in a balsa wood craft known as Kon Tiki to prove that Peruvian Indians could have settled in Polynesia. The trip began in Peru and took 101 days to complete the crossing of the Pacific Ocean. 1952 - The U.S. occupation of Japan officially ended when a treaty with the U.S. and 47 other countries went into effect. 1953 - French troops evacuated northern Laos. 1957 - Mike Wallace was seen on TV for the first time. He was the host of "Mike Wallace Interviews." 1959 - Arthur Godfrey was seen for the last time in the final broadcast of "Arthur Godfrey and His Friends" on CBS-TV. 1962 - In the Sahara Desert of Algeria, a team led by Red Adair used explosives to put out the well fire known as the Devil's Cigarette Lighter. The fire was caused by a pipe rupture on November 6, 1961. 1965 - The U.S. Army and Marines invaded the Dominican Republic to evacuate Americans. 1967 - Muhammad Ali refused induction into the U.S. Army and was stripped of boxing title. He cited religious grounds for his refusal. 1969 - Charles de Gaulle resigned as president of France. 1969 - In Santa Rosa, CA, Charles M. Schulz's Redwood Empire Ice Arena opened. 1977 - Christopher Boyce was convicted of selling U.S. secrets. 1985 - The largest sand castle in the world was completed near St. Petersburg, FL. It was four stories tall. 1988 - In Maui, HI, one flight attendant was killed when the fuselage of a Boeing 737 ripped open in mid-flight. 1989 - Mobil announced that they were divesting from South Africa because congressional restrictions were too costly. 1992 - The U.S. Agriculture Department unveiled a pyramid-shaped recommended-diet chart. 1994 - Former CIA official Aldrich Ames, who had given U.S. secrets to the Soviet Union and then Russia, pled guilty to espionage and tax evasion. He was sentenced to life in prison without parole. 1996 - U.S. President Clinton gave a 4 1/2 hour videotaped testimony as a defense witness in the criminal trial of his former Whitewater business partners. 1997 - A worldwide treaty to ban chemical weapons took effect. Russia and other countries such as Iraq and North Korea did not sign. 1999 - The U.S. House of Representatives rejected (on a tie vote of 213-213) a measure expressing support for NATO's five-week- old air campaign in Yugoslavia. The House also voted to limit the president's authority to use ground forces in Yugoslavia. 2000 - Jay Leno received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. 2001 - A Russian rocket launched from Central Asia with the first space tourist aboard. The crew consisted of California businessman Dennis Tito and two cosmonauts. The destination was the international space station. 2008 - India set a world record when it sent 10 satellites into orbit from a single launch. 2019 Do smiled. |
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