Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, October 8 ____________________________________________________ Today, October 8 in 1945 U.S. President Truman announced that only Britain and Canada would be given the secret to the atomic bomb. Canada declined and said their government was plenty of deterrant. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Alabama woman asked cops to test her meth _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! _______________________________________________ Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. --- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935) When ideas fail, words come in very handy. --- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment. --- Robert Benchley _______________________________________________ Delighted by the gift she had received, the lady spoke warmly to the boy, "At church tomorrow, I'll thank your mother for this lovely pie." "If you don't mind, Ma'am," the boy suggested nervously, "would you please thank her for two pies?" ________________________________________________` ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jennifer Colyne Hall, 48, Limestone County, Alabama Alabama woman asked cops to test her meth An Alabama woman concerned that her methamphetamine may have been tainted with another drug asked police to test her stash, a service request that resulted in her arrest for possession of a controlled substance. Cops report that Jennifer Colyne Hall, 48, called police dispatch Wednesday seeking assistance. When Limestone County Sheriff's Office deputies subsequently arrived at Hall's residence in Toney, a Huntsville suburb, she presented them with a clear plastic bag she had removed from a baby wipes container. I want this dope tested, declared Hall, who added that she was concerned that her speed was somehow tainted. The baggie proffered by Hall contained meth, cops report. As a result, Hall, seen above, was arrested on a felony narcotics possession charge and booked into the county jail. She is being held in lieu of $2500 bail. And, yes, this has happened before and before a few times. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Hank Re: ISP blocking mail Dear Webby, Yes, it is my POP 3 e-mail that is being blocked. I have subscribed to you and Ophelia on POP 3 and then I no longer received them. I then subscribed through Hotmail as I had to do with another newsletter. When I have tried to resubscribe I received a note saying I was already subscribed under my POP 3 mail. I use Incredimail as my mail server. My ISP has a home mail page but I cannot get you through that. The ISP assured me they are not blocking any e-mails to my account. Thanks for your help, hank Dear Hank That is quite a sad-ass bunch of incompetent morons at your ISP, if they don't allow you the get the Humor Letter. What is that ISP's name? People in your area need to be warned about those klutzes. If I was in your shoes, I would get my money back, and chose a better ISP. If there is no other ISP in your neck of the woods, get yourself a gmail address, just like most of the yahoos do. You can download your gmail with any of the better POP3 programs. Gmail does quite impressive spam filtering, but at times can get a bit too aggressive. However, if you drag a piece of mail out of the spam into the INbox, it will respect that from then on. If necessary, it will offer to make a filter to safeguard that mail. Gmail is quite civilized! Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. A flying saucer was low on fuel, so it landed near a local gas station. On its side were the letters "UFO." The gas station attendant was stunned, but his curiosity got the best of him. "Does that stand for Unidentified Flying Object?", he asked. "No," one of the other-worldly travelers responds. "It stands for 'Unleaded Fuel Only.' " | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
A pastor told his congregation that he was going to do a 4 point message series over the next few weeks. Whatever word I end on", he told them, "I want you to sing a song that goes with that word". The 1st week the word was Rock. So the congregation sang "Rock of Ages". The 2nd week the word was Assurance. So they sang "Blessed Assurance". The 3rd week the word was Cross. They sang "At the Cross". The 4th week the word was sex. The congregation was baffled at what to sing. Finally an 85 yr old man stood up from the back of the church and started singing "Precious Memories". Try singing that song next time without laughing. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com font color="#009990"> Put a Pan Under Sink When Making Repairs If you change the faucet or drain in your kitchen or bathroom sink, put a shallow pan under the sink to catch any drips. Keep the pan there for 4 weeks to make sure water isn't accumulating. Check it periodically and tighten fixtures if necessary. thriftyfun.Com ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ A man who had just undergone a very complicated operation kept complaining about a bump on his head and a terrible headache. Since his operation had been an intestinal one, there was no earthly reason why he should be complaining of a headache. Finally his nurse, fearing that the man might be suffering from some post-operative shock, spoke to the doctor about it. The doctor assured the nurse, "Don't worry about a thing. He really does have a bump on his head. About halfway through the operation we ran out of anesthetic and we had to bean him with the fire extinguisher." ___________________________________________________ I requested identification from a department-store customer who had just written a personal check for her purchase. After fumbling through her purse, she presented me with what she said was the only thing that bore both her name and address. It was a notice of insufficient funds from her bank. ___________________________________________________ Trishia is five feet, three inches tall and pleasingly plump. After she had a minor accident, her sister accompanied her to the emergency room. The triage nurse asked for her height and weight, and she blurted out, "Five-foot-eight, 125 pounds." While the nurse pondered over this information, her sister leaned over to her. "Trishia," she gently chided, "This is not the Internet." __________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, October 8 1895 The Berliner Gramophone Company was founded in Philadelphia, PA. 1915 During World War I, the Battle of Loos concluded. 1918 U.S. Corporal Alvin C. York almost single-handedly killed 25 German soldiers and captured 132 in the Argonne Forest in France. York had originally tried to avoid being drafted as a conscientious objector. After this event he was promoted to sergeant and was awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor. 1919 The first transcontinental air race in the U.S. began. 1945 U.S. President Truman announced that only Britain and Canada would be given the secret to the atomic bomb. Canada declined and said their government was plenty of deterrant. 1950 U.N. forces crossed into North Korea from South Korea. 1952 "The Complete Book of Etiquette" was published for the first time. 1966 The U.S. Government declared that LSD was dangerous and an illegal substance. That made a lot of people curious and incited them to try it. 1970 Soviet author Alexander Solzhenitsyn won the Nobel Prize for literature. 1981 U.S. President Reagan greeted former Presidents Carter, Ford and Nixon to the White House. The group was preparing to leave for Egypt to attend the funeral of Anwar Sadat. 1982 In Poland, all labor organizations, including Solidarity, were banned. 1991 A slave burial site was found by construction workers in lower Manhattan. The "Negro Burial Ground" had been closed in 1790. Over a dozen skeletons were found. 1993 The U.S. government issued a report absolving the FBI of any wrongdoing in its final assault in Waco, TX, on the Branch Davidian compound. The fire that ended the siege killed as many as 85 people. 1996 Pope John Paul II underwent a successful operation to remove his inflamed appendix. 1998 Taliban forces attacked Iranian border posts. Iran said that three border posts were destroyed before the Taliban forces were forced to retreat. The Taliban of Afghanistan denied the event occurred. 1998 Canada and Netherlands were voted into the U.N. Security Council. 2001 Rush Limbaugh announced to his listeners that he was totally deaf in his left ear and had only partial hearing in his right ear. The condition had happened in a three month period. 2001 Two Russian cosmonauts made the first spacewalk to be conducted outside of the international space station without a shuttle present. 2002 A federal judge approved U.S. President George W. Bush's request to reopen West Coast ports, to end a caustic 10-day labor lockout. The lockout was costing the U.S. economy an estimated $1 billion to $2 billion a day. 2003 China announced that it would have a human crew orbit the Earth briefly on October 15. 2003 Vietnam and the United States reached a tentative agreement that would allow the first commercial flights between the two countries since the end of the Vietnam War. 2003 It was announced that Vivendi Universal and General Electric Co. had reached an agreement to merge. The name for the combined company was NBC Universal. 2003 Siegfried Fischbacher and his manager announced that the "Siegfried and Roy" show at the Mirage was canceled permanently. It was also said that if Roy Horn survived, after a tiger attack on October 3, the duo would continue to work together. 2004 The first-ever direct presidential elections were held in Afghanistan. 2019 Do smiled. |
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