Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, June 10 ___________________________________________________ Today, June 10 in 1920 The Republican convention in Chicago endorsed woman suffrage. _____________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award: Prison For Man With 15 Drunk Driving OffensesPrison For Man With 15th Drunk Driving Offense ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
_____________________________________________________ Whenever you have an efficient government you have a dictatorship. --- Harry S Truman (1884 - 1972) _____________________________________________________ Sadie had been widowed for a few years and very lonely, and finally consented to going out on a date with Morris, the gentleman her daughter fixed her up with. Morris picked her up her they went on a picnic in a very secluded spot. Morris also had been widowed for a long time and found himself very attracted to Sadie, and despite her resistance at first to his advances, he finally was able to make love to her. Sadie was mortified at her lack of self control and sobbed "I don't know how I can face my daughter, knowing in a time of weakness, I sinned twice!" Morris said "What do you mean "twice" we only did it once?" Sadie looked at Morris and said, "...Well, you're going to do it again, aren't you?" __________________________________________ __________________________________________ As the manager of our hospital's softball team, I was responsible for returning equipment to the proper owners at the end of the season... When I walked into the surgery department carrying a bat that belonged to one of the surgeons, I passed several patients and their families in a waiting area. "Look, honey," one man said to his wife. "Here comes your anesthesiologist." ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Mark Alan Johnson, 67, Rice Lake, Wisconsin, USA Prison For Man With 15 Drunk Driving Offenses A Wisconsin man has been ordered to serve five years in state prison following what investigators say was his 15th drunk driving offense. During a hearing conducted Wednesday via Zoom, Mark Alan Johnson, 67, was sentenced in connection with his guilty plea to a felony operating while intoxicated count. Pictured above, Johnson was arrested last November for OWI after driving his pickup truck into a ditch at an intersection near his home in Rice Lake, a northern Wisconsin city. Johnson, whose license had been revoked at the time of the one-vehicle crash, has been locked up in the Barron County jail since his arrest. Johnson, whose drunk driving collars have come in Wisconsin and neighboring Minnesota, is eligible for the Substance Abuse Program after serving 4 years initial confinement, according to a sentencing order. Johnson's blood alcohol content was measured at nearly twice the legal .08 limit. He told cops he had only consumed two glasses of wine and a can of beer before the crash. In a May 18 sentencing memorandum, Johnsons lawyer described his client as a likable, down-to-earth, blue- collar man who has spent most of his life engaging in hands-on road construction and mechanical work. Johnsons downfall, attorney Renee Taber wrote, is that he is an alcoholic. Taber, who noted that Johnsons most recent OWI conviction was in 2005, wrote that her clients relapse from sobriety came a month after his mothers death. While prosecutors contended that Johnsons rap sheet included 14 prior drunk driving offenses, Taber wrote that the defense is stipulating that the defendant has nine prior offenses. Upon his release from custody, Johnson will be placed on probation for five years. DeaWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Re: Dear Webby, Dear Have FUN! DearWebby
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____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________ A nice man walks past a house and sees three girls sitting on their front porch. He stops and says to the first little girl, "Hello little girl, what's your name?" She replies, "My name is Petal, because when my mother was pregnant with me, a petal landed on her tummy." The man said, "That's so sweet!" To the next girl he asks, "Little girl, what's your name?" The girls says, "My name is Feather, because when my mother was pregnant with me, a feather landed on her tummy." He again praises the cute young girl. The man looks to the third girl who seems very dazed with her eyes to the sky and her mouth open wide drooling. He says as kindly as he can, "And you little girl, what's your name?" The girl replies in a very drawled out tone, "mayyyy nayyyme uzzzz peyannnno." _____________________________________________ An elderly woman went into the doctor's office. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, "I'd like to have some birth-control pills." Taken back, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, "Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but you're 72 years old. What possible use could you have for birth control pills?" The woman responded, "They help me sleep better." The doctor thought some more and continued, "How in the world do birth control pills help you to sleep?" The woman said, "Simple, I put them in my granddaughter's orange juice every morning and I sleep much better at night." _____________________________________________ Women only have two complaints: Nothing to wear, and not enough closet space for it. ____________________________________________ A guy goes up to this girl in a bar and says, "Would you like to dance?" The girl says, "I don't like this song, but even if I did, I wouldn't dance with you." The guy says, "I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me. I said, ' you look fat in those pants.'!" | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today June 10 in 1776 The Continental Congress appointed a committee to write a Declaration of Independence. 1793 The Jardin des Plantes zoo opened in Paris. It was the first public zoo. 1801 The North African State of Tripoli declared war on the U.S. The dispute was over Tripoli pirating merchant vessels and not honoring agreements to allow them to travel safely through the Mediterranean. Eventually the Marines settled that. 1806 New York's "Commercial Advertiser" became the first U.S. newspaper to cover the sport of harness racing. 1854 The U.S. Naval Academy in Annapolis, MD, held its first graduation. 1898 U.S. Marines landed in Cuba during the Spanish- American War. 1902 The "outlook" or "see-through" envelope was patented by Americus F. Callahan. 1903 Binney & Smith Company began developing a product line of wax crayons. The product was named Crayola. 1909 The SOS distress signal was used for the first time. The Cunard liner SS Slavonia used the signal when it wrecked off the Azores. 1916 Mecca, under control of the Turks, fell to the Arabs during the Great Arab Revolt. 1920 The Republican convention in Chicago endorsed woman suffrage. 1924 The Republican National Convention was broadcast by NBC radio. It was the first political convention to be on radio. 1925 The state of Tennessee adopted a new biology text book that denied the theory of evolution. 1933 Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow were in a car accident on a rural road in north Texas. The third-degree burns suffered by Parker resulted in a pronounced limp for the rest of her life. 1935 Alcoholic Anonymous was founded by William G. Wilson and Dr. Robert Smith. 1940 Italy declared war on France and Britain. In addition, Canada declared war on Italy. 1943 Laszlo Biro patented his ballpoint pen. Biro was a Hungarian journalist. 1943 The Allies began bombing Germany around the clock. 1946 Italy established a republic replacing its monarchy. 1948 Chuck Yeager exceeded the speed of sound in the Bell XS-1 rocket plane as the first American to fly that fast. The German Messerschmit fighters flew faster than the speed of sound on jet propulsion turbines, but only when diving. 1954 General Motors announced the gas turbine bus had been produced successfully. 1967 Israel and Syria agreed to a cease-fire that ended the Six-Day War. The other Arab nations had already dropped out and run. 1971 The U.S. ended a 21-year trade embargo of China. 1984 The U.S. Army successfully tested an antiballistic missile. 1984 The United States and the Vatican established full diplomatic relations for the first time in 117 years. 1985 Frank Sinatra was portrayed as a friend of organized crime in a "Doonesbury" comic strip. Over 800 newspapers carried the panel. 1985 The Israeli army pulled out of Lebanon after 1,099 days of occupation. 1990 The Civic Forum movement won Czechoslovakia's first free elections since 1946. The movement was founded by President Vaclav Havel. 1990 Bulgaria's former Communist Party won the country's first free elections in more than four decades. 1993 It was announced by scientists that genetic material was extracted from an insect that lived when dinosaurs roamed the Earth. 1994 U.S. President Clinton intensified sanctions against Haiti's military leaders. U.S. commercial air travel was suspended along with most financial transactions between Haiti and the U.S. 1996 Britain and Ireland opened Northern Ireland peace talks. The IRA's political arm Sinn Fein was excluded. 1998 The Wisconsin Supreme Court ruled that poor children in Milwaukee could attend religious schools at taxpayer expense. 1999 NATO suspended air strikes in Yugoslavia after Slobodan Milosevic agreed to withdraw his forces from Kosovo. 2015 The movie Jurassic World opened in 60 countries. It became the first movie to make $500 million its opening weekend. 2020 Do smiled. |
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