Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, December 23 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Bonehead Award ____________________________________________________ Today, December 22, in 1947 John Bardeen, Walter H. Brattain and William Shockley invented the transistor. ____________________________________________________ When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) Most people would rather be certain they're miserable than risk being happy. --- Robert Anthony Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses. --- Lord Dewar ____________________________________________________ Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, might be enjoying themselves. ____________________________________________________ Are You Awake? ____________________________________________________ A passenger jet was suffering through a severe thunderstorm. As the passengers were being bounced around by the turbulence, a young woman turned to a minister sitting next to her and with a nervous laugh asked, "Reverend, you're a man of God, can't you do something about this storm?" To which he replied, "Lady, I'm in the personnel department, air conditioning is handled by somebody upstairs." ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jacob Sullivan, 26, San Tan Valley, Arizona, USA 6-year-old sexually assaulted and infected by father's roommate in Arizona Officials with the Pinal County Sheriff's Office say they have arrested a 26-year-old in connection with the sexual assault of a six-year-old. According to a statement released by PCSO on Dec. 21, 26- year-old Jacob Sullivan was arrested in Peoria, and booked into Pinal County Jail the same day. Officials with PCSO say an investigation began on Nov. 14, when they were contacted by an urgent care clinic in Queen Creek after the victim tested positive for a sexually transmitted disease. During the investigation, investigators say the victim identified Sullivan, who was a roommate with the victim's father, as the suspect. Sullivan lives in San Tan Valley, authorities say. Investigators say a warrant for Sullivan's arrest was issued on Dec. 20, and he is now accused of multiple counts of sexual conduct of a minor. A bond of $103,343 has been set for Sullivan. ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ From: Helen Re: Worn keyboard Dear Webby My good old keyboard is worn out. A lot of the letters on it are worn off, and the action is getting a bit erratic. Can it get fixed? Helen Dear Helen Theoretically, yes. Actually, NO. A refurbishment would cost hundreds of dollars. You can get a brand new one for $10 at Amazon or Walmart. As always this time of year, some of the fancier ones, like the Grandtec Indestructible, flexible underwater keyboard is out of stock everywhere, but you can get an Adesso clone from Dell. Adesso SlimTouch 232 - Keyboard - USB for $30. It is flexible, dishwasher safe, and virtually indestructible, unless you use industrial equipment to deliberately destroy it. If you spill some soup on it, just toss it into the dishwasher. It is made with antimicrobial material that protects against germ buildups between washings. That should last you many years. Keep in mind that the flexible and indestructible keyboards are a bit slower than some of the fast ones like the Lenovo, however, if your typing speed is below 60 wpm, then don't worry. Have FUN! DearWebby Two men sitting side by side in a 747 plane started to talk. One explained he had never flown before. They left the airport in New York City headed for Los Angeles. They landed in Chicago, whereupon a little red truck pulled up and refueled the plane. They again landed to refuel at Denver. The little red truck pulled up to the plane and refueled it. As they were about to land at their destination the veteran flier pointed out to the novice what great time they had made. The novice said, "Yes we made good time, but look, that little red tanker got here first and is ready for us already!" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ "A curiosity-breeding little joker" is how Mark Twain described the typewriter. His Life on the Mississippi (1883) was the first book-length manuscript published that had been written on one of the new machines. It's rumored that a Twain's descendant wrote her first novel on a windows based computer. After losing a chapter when the machine crashed, she is said to have called the computer a #@*#@$ little *$%#@. ______________________________________________ A college student in a philosophy class was taking his first examination. On the paper there was a single line which simply said: "Is this a question?" - Discuss. After a short time he wrote: "If that is a question, then this is an answer." The student received an "A" on the exam. ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
A little boy returned from Sunday School with a new perspective on the Christmas story. He had learned all about the Wise Men from the East who brought gifts to the Baby Jesus. He was so excited he just had to tell his parents: "I learned in Sunday School today all about the very first Christmas! There wasn't a fat Santa Claus way back then, so these three skinny guys who smoked camels had to deliver all the toys! And Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer with his nose so bright wasn't there yet, so they had to have this big star in the sky to find their way around." ___________________________________________________ | Today, December 23, in 1783 George Washington returned home to Mount Vernon, after the disbanding of his army following the Revolutionary War. 1788 Maryland voted to cede a 100-square-mile area for the seat of the national government. About two-thirds of the area became the District of Columbia. 1823 The poem "A Visit from St. Nicholas" by Clement C. Moore (" 'Twas the night before Christmas...") was published. 1834 English architect Joseph Hansom patented his 'safety cab', better known as the Hansom cab. 1852 The Theatre of Celestial John opened on Telegraph Hill in San Francisco, CA. It was the first Chinese theatre in the U.S. 1856 Ralph Collier was issued a U.S. patent for the first rotary egg beater with rotating parts. 1880 Thomas Edison incorporated the Edison Electric Light Company of Europe. 1888 Following a quarrel with Paul Gauguin, Dutch painter Vincent Van Gogh cut off part of his own earlobe. 1893 The Engelbert Humperdinck opera "Hansel und Gretel" was first performed, in Weimar, Germany. 1913 The Federal Reserve Bill was signed into law by U.S. President Woodrow Wilson. The act established 12 Federal Reserve Banks. 1919 The first ship designed to be used as an ambulance for the transport patients was launched. The hospital ship was named USS Relief and had 515 beds. 1922 The British Broadcasting Corporation began daily news broadcasts. 1930 Ruth Elizabeth Davis, an unknown actress, arrived in Hollywood, under contract to Universal Studios. Universal changed her name to Bette Davis for the movies. 1941 During World War II, American forces on Wake Island surrendered to the Japanese. 1942 Bob Hope agreed to entertain U.S. airmen in Alaska. It was the first of the traditional Christmas shows. 1943 "Hansel and Gretel," the opera, was televised on New York's WRBG. It was the first complete opera to be televised. 1947 John Bardeen, Walter H. Brattain and William Shockley invented the transistor. 1948 Former Japanese premier Hideki Tojo and six other Japanese war leaders were executed in Tokyo. They had been found guilty of crimes against humanity. 1951 A National Football League (NFL) championship game was televised nationally for the first time. The Los Angeles Rams beat the Cleveland Browns 24-17. The DuMont Network had paid $75,000 for the rights to the game. 1953 Soviet secret police chief Lavrenti Beria and six of his associates were shot for treason following a secret trial. 1954 The Walt Disney movie "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea" was released. 1965 A 70-mph speed limit was introduced in Britain. 1968 The crew of the U.S. Navy ship, Pueblo, was released by North Korea. The Captain of the Pueblo, Commander Lloyd M. Bucher, and 82 of his crew were held for 11 months after the ship was seized by North Korea because of suspected spying by the Americans. The Pueblo is still a museum and tourist attraction in North Korea. 1970 In New York, the topping out ceremony for original One World Trade Center (North Tower) took place. The South Tower's ceremony took place on July 19, 1971. 1981 NASA approved a plan to continue the Voyager II spacecraft on a trajectory that would take it within 66,000 miles of Uranus on July 24, 1986. 1986 The experimental airplane Voyager, piloted by Dick Rutan and Jeana Yeager, completed the first non-stop, around-the-world flight without refueling as it landed safely at Edwards Air Force Base in California. 1987 Lynette "Squeaky" Fromme, serving a life sentence for the attempted assassination of U.S. President Ford in 1975, escaped from the Alderson Federal Prison for Women in West Virginia. She was recaptured two days later. 1989 Ousted Romanian President Nicolae Ceausescu and his wife, Elena, were captured as they were attempting to flee their country. 1990 Elections in Yugoslavia ended, leaving four of its six republics with non-Communist governments. 1995 A fire in Dabwali, India, killed 540 people, including 170 children, during a year-end party being held near the children's school. 1995 The bodies of 16 members of the Solar Temple religious sect were found in a clearing near Grenoble, France. 14 were presumed shot by two people who then committed suicide. 1997 Terry Nichols was convicted by a Denver jury on charges of conspiracy and involuntary manslaughter in the 1995 federal building bombing in Oklahoma City. The bomb killed 168 people. 1998 Guerrillas in south Lebanon fired dozens of rockets at northern Israel. 2021 Do smiled. |
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