Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, February 17 ___________________________________________________ Today, February 17 in 1817 The first gaslit streetlights appeared on the streets of Baltimore, MD. ______________________________________________________ That you may retain your self-respect, it is better to displease the people by doing what you know is right, than to temporarily please them by doing what you know is wrong. --- William J. H. Boetcker ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Jury Convicts Naked Nanny __________________________________________ A two-engine train is on a cross-country run. After it goes some distance, one of the engines breaks down. "No problem," the engineer thinks, and carries on at half-power. Farther on down the line, the other engine breaks down, and the train comes to a standstill. The engineer decides he should inform the passengers about why the train has stopped, and makes the following announcement: "Ladies and gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that both engines have failed, and we will be stuck here for some time. The good news is that this is a train and not a plane." __________________________________________ Thanks to Jean for sending me this picture: Ceiling over St. Mary's Altar, Krakow,Poland __________________________________________ How often have we heard that television watching can be detrimental? A pastor carried that message one Sunday morning in an impassioned sermon on the evils of TV. "It steals away precious time that could be better spent on other things," he said. He advised the congregation to do what he and his family had done. "We put our TV away in the closet." "That's right," his wife muttered to the woman next to her, "and it gets awfully crowded in there!" ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jury Convicts Naked Nanny Sarah Slicker, 23, St. Petersburg, Florida Sarah Slicker. A Florida jury this week found the 23- year-old woman guilty of lewd conduct for stripping off her clothes at the request of a four-year-old boy she was babysitting. The nanny, who testified that she disrobed last January to satisfy the tyke's curiosity, was discovered naked on a couch when the child's mother returned home unexpectedly. Slicker, who now must register as a sex offender, was jailed in advance of her February 25 sentencing, at which she could receive up to 15 years in prison. Slicker, pictured above in a St. Petersburg Police Department mug shot, told cops that the incident was not sexual in nature, that she 'just wanted him to know for when he was older. A Florida jury this week found the 23-year-old woman guilty of lewd conduct for stripping off her clothes at the request of a four-year-old boy she was babysitting. The nanny, who testified that she disrobed last January to satisfy the tyke's curiosity, was discovered naked on a couch when the child's mother returned home unexpectedly. Slicker, who now must register as a sex offender, was jailed in advance of her February 25 sentencing, at which she could receive up to 15 years in prison. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Frank Re: Keyboard shortcuts Dear Webby You had some nifty keyboard tricks at one time. Can you run them again, please? Thanks! Frank Dear Frank Try (W) Windows key and Pause for your machine inventory and Control Panel (W) E Explore your hard drive (W) C Control Panel (W) D bare Desktop. Don't worry, just hit it again and all the open stuff returns. (W) D is called the BOSS key, you hit that to hide the games you were playing when you hear the boss approaching. ALT Tab move between windows ALT and SpaceBar Launchy If you haven't got Launchy, it is at https://www.launchy.net/download.php It launches programs without having to hunt and search for their icon. ALT Spacebar cr it shows you Chrome, hit Enter and it launches it. If you prefer fast keyboard action over slow mousing around, you will love it! You can also use it as an adding machine, that shows a ribbon of your input. For a lot of simple stuff, there is no need to start a spreadsheet. The cost is on the honour system, like the Humor Letter. If you are fortunate enough to have a dollar or five left over, donate. But you can download it and use it and just make a small donation when you clean out the sofa. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. Consider the respected church leader who arrives in a large city to deliver a series of speeches. At a banquet the first evening, he notices some reporters in the audience. Because he wants to use some of the stories he tells that night in his talks the next day, the minister asks the reporters to omit them from their articles. Unfortunately, one newspaper had sent a cub reporter. In his story, he outlines the minister's talk. His final paragraph: "The minister also told a number of stories that cannot be printed." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________ With more people traveling, the airlines seem to have more problems keeping passengers happy. At the end of one flight, however, one smiling, very satisfied fellow pauses to congratulate the flight attendant. "I want to compliment you and the crew and especially the captain for getting here right on time," he says. "It's not often anymore that an airline gets to where it's going exactly when they claim it will. I'm going to call your home office and let them know how pleased I am." "Why, thank you, sir," the flight attendant answers, "but I think you should know -- this is yesterday's flight." _____________________________________________ Consider the man who told all his friends about a delicious steak dinner he'd eaten in a new restaurant the day before. The steak was big and picture-perfect, done to perfection. So a group of his friends decided to see if it was that good, and took the man along as their guest. Much to everyone's disappointment, the waiter brought the tiniest steaks they'd ever seen, overcooked and dry. "See here," the man said to the waiter. "I was in this restaurant yesterday and you served me a big juicy steak, and now today, when I've organized a party, you serve such a shriveled up, overcooked one." "Yes, sir," replied the waiter. "But yesterday you were sitting by the window." ____________________________________________ Consider the fellow who was working on a painting of a beautiful young woman. Try as he might, he tried to concentrate on his work, but he was attracted to his model. Finally, he could resist no longer. He threw down his palette, took her in his arms and kissed her. She pushed him away. "Maybe your other models let you kiss them," she said, "But not this one." "But I've never tried to kiss a model before," he swore. "Really," she said, softening. "How many models have there been?" "Four," he replied. "A jug, two apples and a vase." _______________A_____________________________ | No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today February 17 in 1817 The first gaslit streetlights appeared on the streets of Baltimore, MD. 1865 Columbia, SC, burned. The Confederates were evacuating and the Union Forces were moving in. 1876 Julius Wolff was credited with being the first to can sardines. 1878 In San Francisco, CA, the first large city telephone exchange opened. It had only 18 phones. 1924 Swimmer Johnny Weissmuller set a world record in the 100-yard freestyle. He did it with a time of 57-2/5 seconds in Miami, FL. 1933 Blondie Boopadoop married Dagwood Bumstead three years after Chic Youngs popular strip first debuted. 1934 The first high school automobile drivers education course was introduced in State College, PA. 1944 During World War II, the Battle of Eniwetok Atoll began. U.S. forces won the battle on February 22, 1944. 1947 The Voice of America began broadcasting to the Soviet Union. 1964 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that congressional districts within each state had to be approximately equal in population. (Westberry v. Sanders) 1992 In Milwaukee, serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer was sentenced to life in prison. In November of 1994, he was beaten to death in prison. 1995 Colin Ferguson was convicted of six counts of murder in the December 1993 Long Island Rail Road shootings. He was later sentenced to a minimum of 200 years in prison. 1996 World chess champion Garry Kasparov beat the IBM supercomputer "Deep Blue" in Philadelphia, PA. 2020 Do smiled. |
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