| p Good Morning, Do! Thank you, Betty!! Today is Monday, June 12 ____________________________________________________ History: today, June 12 in 1979, Bryan Allen flew the Gossamer Albatross, man powered, across the English Channel. ___________________________________________ Bonehead Aurora man sentenced to 38 + 27 years ___________________________________________________ Q Every generation imagines itself to be more intelligent than the one that went before it, and wiser than the one that comes after it. --- George Orwell (1903 - 1950) A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. --- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950) ____________________________________________________ Did you hear about the first woman to smoke? Note ref: King James Gensis 24:64 And Rebekah lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Issac, she lighted off the camel. _____________________________________________________ A pastor and two of his deacons are out on the river fishing in their rowboat. Twelve o'clock rolls around, and one of the deacons notices a nice spot on the bank to have lunch. He turns to the others and says, "That looks like a nice spot for lunch. What do you say we have lunch over there?" The other deacon agrees, and so does the pastor. The deacon stands up in the boat, steps out onto the river and walks over to the bank. The pastor looks on with amazement, and thinks to himself, if his deacon is holy enough to walk on water, surely he can. The other deacon stands up, picks up the picnic basket, steps out of the boat, and walks over to the bank and sits with the first deacon. Again, the pastor thinks, if his second deacon is holy enough to walk on water, surely he can. The pastor stands up, steps out of the boat, and falls right into the water. While he's splashing around the first deacon turns to the second and says, "Think we should have told him where the tree stumps are?" ________________________________________________ Thanks to Ana Red sand beach, Hawaii The half of Utah, that looks like it has been pasted from Mars, has red rocks, red sand, red roads, red beaches, red mountains, red monuments(rock towers). Been there many times looking for cacti. It is awesome. Try to see it at least once in your life! ___________________________________________________ A Bonehead award has been reported by Rock Quinton Moore, 41, Aurora, Illinois, USA Aurora man sentenced to 38 + 27 years An Aurora man is being sentenced to 38 years in prison for the 2005 beating death of a man at a party. (On top of a 27 year sentence he has on a different murder) The Kane County State's Attorney's Office says that 41-year- old Quinton Moore was found guilty in a trial-by-judge in March. He, along with four other gang members, are said to have beaten 21-year-old George Caro to death in September of 2005 in the 600 block of Lincoln Avenue after questioning whether he cooperated with police in a murder investigation. The state's attorney's office says that Caro was punched, kicked, and hit was baseball bat before being left to die. Moore has to serve his entire sentence which will be in addition to another 27 year sentence for a separate murder conviction. The other co-defendants in the murder have also been convicted and sentenced. ___________________________________________________ A pair of congressmen met for lunch to hash out their political differences. Ten minutes into the meal, one angrily pounded the table. "You're lying!" he shouted. "Of course I'm lying," the other said, "but hear me out." ___________________________________________________ Top 10 ways to torment a telemarketer 10. When they ask "How are you today?" Tell them! "I'm so glad you asked because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died...." 9. If they say they're John doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary. 8. Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my gosh! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of pause as she tries to figure out where the hell she could know you from. 7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends.....would you be my friend?" 6. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money. 5. Tell the telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you a case of beer and some chips. 4. After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit card number to a complete stranger. 3. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they will give you their HOME phone number so you can call them back. When the telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their HOME number, you say "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel! " Say goodbye and hang up. 2. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?" 1. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY because you want to write EVERY WORD down. Now for my four methods for dealing with telemarketers: a) "Send me an email. I am deaf. Send me an email. I am deaf. Send me an email. I am deaf." Click. b) I let my little Squeaky-Duck answer. "Squeeak Sqweeeeek Squeek-Squeek-Squeeeeek!!!" c) "Are youuu a TELEMARKETER?" in the tone and volume as if I had asked if he or she was a child molester. d) Click. _____________________________________________________ From: Irene Re: Laptop or desktop Dear Webby, Which is better, a laptop or a desktop? Irene Dear Irene The question should be, which is better FOR YOU? If you do your work in a coffee shop or park bench, then of course a laptop is better for you. If you always work in the same office, and like big monitors, then a desktop is better for you. Sure, you can add ONE big monitor to your small laptop, but with a desktop, you can have TWO big monitors. If you do accounting and always run out of space and have to scroll and slide your spreadsheet, or wish you could have two spreadsheets open side by side, then a desktop is better for you. With a desktop you can have two identical monitors side by side, and have either one spreadsheet smoothly extending over two monitors, or have different ones side by side. For example, you can have one monitor showing your weekly or monthly data, and copy paste them onto the annual data on the other. If you are screaming: "Yeah, THAT is what I need!", then get a desktop and two identical 16" monitors. If none of that makes sense and you just want to go to the coffee shop and do your mail and chat, then get a laptop. The cost is about the same. A desktop and two monitors costs the same as a laptop. Don't worry about how long they will last. Microsoft will soon come out with a new version of Windows, that will make machines built for the current version too slow for work. Right now, for example, even though nobody except for the computer vendors wanted a new version, they came out with W10, which is a real snail when run on a Windows7 machine. They will keep doing that, and in a few years you will need to buy a new machine. Just get what is best for you now, and don't worry about Windows12 just yet. Have fun! Dearwebby ____________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the humor letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work,please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it!Please, help me stay online! ___________________________________________________ Edmonton, AB Thanks to Laura fo this __________________________________________________ History Today June 12, in 1099, Crusade leaders visited the Mount of Olives where they met a hermit who urged them to assault Jerusalem. 1442, Alfonso V of Aragon was crowned King of Naples. 1665, England installed a municipal government in New York. It was the former Dutch settlement of New Amsterdam. 1812, Napoleon's invasion of Russia began. 1838, The Iowa Territory was organized. 1839, Abner Doubleday created the game of baseball, according to the legend. 1849, Lewis Haslett patented a gas mask. (Patent US6529 A) 1897, Carl Elsener patented his penknife. The object later became known as the Swiss army knife. 1898, Philippine nationalists declared their independence from Spain. 1900, The Reichstag approved a second law that would allow the expansion of the German navy. 1901, Cuba agreed to become an American protectorate by accepting the Platt Amendment. 1918, The first airplane bombing raid by an American unit occurred on World War I's Western Front in France. 1921, U.S. President Warren Harding urged every young man to attend military training camp. 1923, Harry Houdini, while suspended upside down 40 feet above the ground, escaped from a strait jacket. 1926, Brazil quit the League of Nations in protest over plans to admit Germany. 1935, U.S. Senator Huey Long of Louisiana made the longest speech on Senate record. The speech took 15 1/2 hours and was filled by 150,000 words. What did he say? 1935, The Chaco War was ended with a truce. Bolivia and Paraguay had been fighting since 1932. 1937, The Soviet Union executed eight army leaders under Joseph Stalin. 1941, In London, the Inter-Allied Declaration was signed. It was the first step towards the establishment of the United Nations. 1944, Chinese Communist leader Mao Tse-tung announced that he would support Nationalist leader Chiang Kai-shek in the war against Japan. 1963, "Cleopatra" starring Elizabeth Taylor, Rex Harrison, and Richard Burton premiered at the Rivoli Theatre in New York City. 1963, Civil rights leader Medgar Evers was fatally shot in front of his home in Jackson, MS. 1967, State laws which prohibited interracial marriages were ruled unconstitutional by the U.S. Supreme Court. 1971, Tricia Nixon and Edward F. Cox were married in the White House Rose Garden. 1975, Indian Prime Minister Indira Gandhi was found guilty of corrupt election practices in 1971. 1979, Bryan Allen flew the Gossamer Albatross, man powered, across the English Channel. 1981, Major league baseball players began a 49 day strike. The issue was free-agent compensation. 1981, "Raiders of the Lost Ark" opened in the U.S. 1982, 75,000 people rallied against nuclear weapons in New York City's Central Park. Jackson Browne, James Taylor, Bruce Springsteen, and Linda Ronstadt were in attendance. 1985, Wayne "The Great One" Gretsky was named winner of the NHL's Hart Trophy. The award is given to the the league Most Valuable Player. 1985, The U.S. House of Representatives approved $27 million in aid to the Nicaraguan contras. 1986, South Africa declared a national state of emergency. Virtually unlimited power was given to security forces and restrictions were put on news coverage of the unrest. 1987, U.S. President Reagan publicly challenged Mikhail Gorbachev to tear down the Berlin Wall. 1990, The parliament of the Russian Federation formally declared its sovereignty. 1991, Russians went to the election polls and elected Boris N. Yeltsin as the president of their republic. 1992, In a letter to the U.S. Senate, Russian Boris Yeltsin stated that in the early 1950's the Soviet Union had shot down nine U.S. planes and held 12 American survivors. 1996, In Philadelphia a panel of federal judges blocked a law against indecency on the internet. The panel said that the 1996 Communications Decency Act would infringe upon the free speech rights of adults. 1997, The U.S. Treasury Department unveiled a new $50 bill meant to be more counterfeit-resistant. 1998, Compaq Computer paid $9 billion for Digital Equipment Corp. in largest high-tech acquisition. 1999, NATO peacekeeping forces entered the province of Kosovo in Yugoslavia. 2003, In Arkansas, Terry Wallis spoke for the first time in nearly 19 years. Wallis had been in a coma since July 13, 1984, after being injured in a car accident. 2009, In the U.S., The switch from analog TV trasmission to digital was completed. 2023, Do smiled.
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