Good Morning, Do, Today is Saturday, October 14 Have Fun! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Florida man googled 'how to rob a bank' robbed a bank, then got jailed. Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, Oct 14 in 1066 The Battle of Hastings occurred in England. The Norman forces of William the Conqueror defeated King Harold II of England. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to know something. --- Wilson Mizner (1876 - 1933) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A somewhat advanced society has figured how to package basic knowledge in pill form. A student, needing some learning, goes to the pharmacy and asks what kind of knowledge pills are available. The pharmacist says, "Here's a pill for English literature." The student takes the pill and swallows it and has new knowledge about English literature! "What else do you have?" asks the student. "Well, I have pills for art history, biology, and world history," replies the pharmacist. The student asks for these, and swallows them and has new knowledge about those subjects. Then the student asks, "Do you have a pill for math?" The pharmacist says, "Wait just a moment," goes back into the storeroom, brings back a whopper of a pill, and plunks it on the counter. "Do I have to take that huge pill for math?" inquires the student. The pharmacist replied, "Well, you know math always was a little hard to swallow." _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ From Linda A guy was visiting his friend in the hospital who was 'all torn up'. "What happened?" he asked. "Well," explained the patient, "we were hunting the Mumba snake. It has yellow and black stripes. It likes to sun itself lying across a pathway in the jungle. You catch it by grabbing the tip of its tail with one hand and quickly running your other hand up the length of its body so you can grab it behind the neck." "Go on," the friend said. He continued, "Well, at mid day the shadows and the lit parts of the jungle sometimes make it difficult to see every detail, so when I sneaked up to the snake lying across the jungle path, I pounced on it in a flying leap, grabbed it by the end and rapidly moved my other hand upward ... just as the procedure goes." "So why are you so beaten up?" the friend asked. The patient said slowly, "Did you ever goose a tiger??" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by William Joe Johnson, 26, Pinellas Park, Florida Florida man googled 'how to rob a bank' robbed a bank, then got jailed. Sheriff's deputies on Monday arrested a man accused of robbing a bank near Largo last week, then using the money on utilities, rent and a drug binge. According to the Pinellas County Sheriff's Office, William Joe Johnson, 26, on Thursdaystole an undisclosed amount of money from Achieva Credit Union at 10125 Ulmerton Road. Deputies arrested him Monday night on a robbery charge at the Express Inn at 11333 U.S. 19 N in Pinellas Park. Johnson entered the bank just before 11 a.m., approached the teller, implied he had a gun and told the teller to give him cash, according to deputies. He ran from the store with the cash. After an investigation, deputies found him at the hotel. In an interview, detectives said Johnson told them he was in need of money and searched on Google "how to rob a bank." Deputies booked him into the Pinellas County Jail about 3 a.m. Tuesday in lieu of $100,000 bail. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Jerry Re: Lost CTRL C and CTRL V Dear Webby, I don't know what happened, but I seem to have lost my CTRL+C and CTRL+V capabilities! Any thoughts on how to get them back? Sorry if it's a stupid question! Jerry Dear Jerry Your usable amount of RAM is in use or bunged up. Hightlight a comma or period, copy that with CTRL Insert, and paste that. That will normally clear the clipboard of any big stuff. After that run CrapCleaner from http://webby.com/tools to clean up the temporary files. Rebooting also helps. Have FUN! DearWebby Women believe if a pet cat strays, it's because of a lack of affection at home. Women believe if a pet dog strays, it's because of a lack of affection at home. Women believe if a woman strays, it's because of a lack of affection at home. Women believe if a man strays, it's because men are scum. | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Shoe Boxes for Building Kids Blocks Use safe shoe boxes and other similar size boxes to make large building blocks for your kids. Tape the lid of the box on and then cover them with contact paper. You can even find contact paper with a brick or wood pattern on it. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ | | man and woman born 2 hours apart in same hospital marry |
____________________________________________________ A man bought a donkey from a preacher. The preacher told the man that this donkey had been trained in a very unique way, (being the donkey of a preacher). The only way to make the donkey go, was to say, "Hallelujah!" The only way to make the donkey stop, was to say, "Amen!" The man was pleased with his purchase and immediately got on the animal to try out the preacher's instructions. "Hallelujah!" shouted the man. The donkey began to trot. "Amen!" shouted the man. The donkey stopped immediately. "This is great!" said the man. With a "Hallelujah," he rode off very proud of his new purchase. The man traveled for a long time through some mountains. Soon he was heading toward a cliff. He could not remember the word to make the donkey stop. "Stop," said the man. "Halt!" he cried. The donkey just kept going. "Oh, no... Bible!....Church!...Please Stop!!" shouted the man. The donkey just began to trot faster. He was getting closer and closer to the cliff edge. Finally, in desperation, the man said a prayer. "Please, dear Lord. Please make this donkey stop before I go off the end of this mountain, In Jesus name, AMEN." The donkey came to an abrupt stop just one step from the edge of the cliff. "HALLELUJAH!", shouted the man. __________________________________________________ | | Amazing Highlights from the 2017 Nat Geo Nature Photographer of the Year Contest |
___________________________________________________ A couple hired a maid to cook and do housework. She worked out fine, till one day, after about six months, she said she would have to quit. "But why?" asked the disappointed wife. She said: "Well on my day off a couple of months ago I met this good-looking fellow from over in the next county, and well, I'm pregnant." The wife said, "Look, we don't want to lose you. My husband and I don't have children, and we'll adopt your baby if you will stay." She talked to her husband; he agreed, and they adopted the baby. All went well, but soon the maid was pregnant again. The wife talked to her husband, and they adopted baby two. Soon it happened again. They made the same offer, and adopted the third baby. She worked for a week or two after that, but then said, "I am definitely leaving this time." "Don't tell me you're pregnant again?" asked the wife. "No," she said, "there are just to many kids here to pick up after." ___________________________________________________ The 5 Scariest Things in the Army! 1. A Private saying, "I learned this in basic training..." 2. A Sergeant saying, "Trust me, sir..." 3. A Second Lieutenant saying, "Based on my experience..." 4. A Captain saying, "I was just thinking..." 5. And a Warrant Officer chuckling, "Y'all watch this $%!#..." | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
It's official: Rap music does cause crime. Research shows that in over half the shootings that occur on the street, the gunman is aiming at the boombox! ____________________________________________________ | Today, October 14, in 1066 The Battle of Hastings occurred in England. The Norman forces of William the Conqueror defeated King Harold II of England. 1879 Thomas Edison signed an agreement with Jose D. Husbands for the sale of Edison telephones in Chile. 1887 Thomas Edison and George E. Gouraud reached an agreement for the international marketing rights for the phonograph. 1888 In England, Louis Le Prince filmed the experimental film "Roundhay Garden Scene." It is the oldest surviving motion picture. 1912 Theodore Roosevelt was shot while campaigning in Milwaukee, WI. Roosevelt's wound in the chest was not serious and he continued with his planned speech. William Schrenk was captured at the scene of the shooting. 1922 Lieutenant Lester James Maitland set a new airplane speed record when he reached a speed of 216.1 miles-per- hour. 1926 The book "Winnie-the-Pooh," by A.A. Milne, made its debut. 1933 Nazi Germany announced that it was withdrawing from the League of Nations. 1936 The first SSB (Social Security Board) office opened in Austin, TX. From this point, the Board's local office took over the assigning of Social Security Numbers. 1943 The Radio Corporation of America finalized the sale of the NBC Blue radio network. Edward J. Noble paid $8 million for the network that was renamed American Broadcasting Company. 1944 German Field Marshal Erwin Rommel committed suicide rather than face execution after being accused of conspiring against Adolf Hitler and the execution that would follow. 1944 During World War II, the Second British Parachute Brigade liberated the city of Athens. 1947 Over Rogers Dry Lake in Southern California, pilot Chuck Yeager flew the Bell X-1 rocket plane and became the first American to break the sound barrier. 1954 C.B. DeMille's "The Ten Commandments", starring Charlton Heston, began filming in Egypt. The epic had a cast of 25,000 people. 1960 U.S. presidential candidate John F. Kennedy first suggested the idea of a Peace Corps. 1961 "How to Succeed in Business without Really Trying" opened on Broadway. 1962 The Cuban Missile Crisis began. It was on this day that U.S. intelligence personnel analyzing data discovered Soviet medium-range missile sites in Cuba. On October 22 U.S. President John F. Kennedy announced that he had ordered the naval "quarantine" of Cuba. 1964 Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for his non-violent resistance to racial prejudice in America. He was the youngest person to receive the award. 1968 The first live telecast to come from a manned U.S. spacecraft was transmitted from Apollo 7. 1970 Anwar el-Sadat became president of Egypt following the death of President Nasser. 1972 In Iraq, oil was struck for the first time just north of Kirkuk. 1984 George 'Sparky' Anderson became the first baseball manager to win 100 games and a World Series in both leagues. (MLB) 1986 Soviet leader Mikhail S. Gorbachev charged that the U.S. wanted to "bleed the Soviet Union economically" with the arms race in space. 1987 Jessica McClure, 18 months old, fell down an abandoned well in Midland, TX. The rescue took 58 hours. 2001 Toys "R" Us introduced the new version of Geoffrey the giraffe in a 60-second commercial before WABC-TV aired 2002 Britain stripped power from the Catholic and Protestant politicians of Northern Ireland. Britain resumed sole responsibility for running Northern Ireland. 2017 Do smiled. |
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