Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, July 12 Thank you, John !!! ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Teen Found With Drugs, Gun, Brass Knuckles In I-95 Traffic Stop ___________________________________________________ Today, July 12 in 1870 The first rotary can opener with a cutting wheel was patented by William W. Lyman. ____________________________________________________ Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness. --- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970) ____________________________________________________ New York Goof Cuomo Passed Law Opening Door for Lawsuits Against Gun Manufacturers. Next months he will pass a law against spoon manufacturers, because spoons make you overweight. ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ A couple, age 67, went to the doctor's office. The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?" The man said, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?" The doctor looked puzzled but agreed. When the couple had finished, the doctor said, "There is nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse", and he charged them $32.00. This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have intercourse, pay the doctor and leave. Finally the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?" The man said, "We're not trying to find out anything. She has a gossipy sister on an extended visit in her apartment, so we can't go to there. I have too many noisy grandkids running around my place and so we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $160.00. The Hilton charges $178.00. We do it here for $32.00 and I get back $28.00 from Medicare for a visit to the doctor's office." ____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Zaker Hussein, 18, Boca Raton, Florida, USA Teen Found With Drugs, Gun, Brass Knuckles In I-95 Traffic Stop Boca Raton resident Zaker Hussein is facing serious charges following a traffic stop conducted by PBSO on I-95 near Lake Worth Beach. According to a police report deputies smelled marijuana when they stopped Hussein who admitted to not having a license. Deputies, according to report, also found a backpack with drugs, marijuana, brass knuckles, and a handgun. Hussein is now charged with possession of a firearm as a delinquent juvenile, carrying a concealed firearm, carrying a concealed weapon, possession of Adderall without a prescription, and he was cited for driving without a license. Hussein, 18, was booked into the Palm Beach County Jail and was later released on $30,000 bond. A court date is pending for after he commits a few more crimes. Considering the tramp stamps on his face and throat, that probably won't take long. DearWebby's tech support pits from: Maryann re: Mail to herd of inlaws Dear Webby How do I send an email to my whole herd of inlaws to update them on my hubby's accident recovery? Maryann Dear Maryann Put YOUR name and address into the TO line, Put the addresses of all members of that herd into a text file, with a comma between each. It is quite OK to have each one on a separate line. Save that file! You can add more addresses later. Then paste the stack of adresses into the BCC slot. BCC is from the paper days and stands for Blind Carbon Copy. Each recipient gets addressed, but does not see the addresses of the others. Then add the message and send. I used that method for the DearWebby humor letter in 1993 and 1994. It works! Have FUN! DearWebby The optimist owned a hunting dog that could walk on water. His plan? Take the pessimist and the dog out duck hunting in a boat. They got out into the middle of the lake, and the optimist brought down a duck. The dog immediately walked out across the water, retrieved the duck, and walked back to the boat. The optimist looked at his pessimistic friend and said, "What do you think about that?" The pessimist replied, "That dog can't swim, can he?" Luckily the pessimist was wearing a life jacket when he got tossed into the water. He had to swim back to shore. | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ A guy goes to a doctor and says: "Doctor, my wife has lost her voice, a week ago...." "And you are afraid she'll find it again ?" ____________________________________________ A patient had broken his leg and it was going to have to be set. To get him ready for this painful event, he was heavily sedated. While in this "state", he spoke rather freely with the hospital staff and with his wife. She apparently learned several things about her husband. When it was time to reverse the medication, the wife said "Wait! not yet. I have some more questions I want to ask". ____________________________________________ A lonely wife brought a man she had just met at a bar home to her bedroom one evening when she thought her husband was out of town. They immediately tore each other's clothes off and started going at it. She sat up quickly in bed as she heard the key in the lock. "Quick!" she said to the man, "it's my husband! You've got to get out of here quick!" "Where's the back door?" the man asked as he grabbed his clothes. "There isn't one," she replied. "Where would you like one?" he asked. ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, July 12, in 1096 Crusaders under Peter the Hermit reached Sofia, Bulgaria. There they met their Byzantine escort, which brought them safely the rest of the way to Constantinople. by August 1. 1543 England's King Henry VIII married his sixth and last wife, Catherine Parr. 1690 Protestant forces led by William of Orange defeated the Roman Catholic army of James II. 1691 William III defeated the allied Irish and French armies at the Battle of Aughrim, Ireland. 1790 The French Assembly approved a Civil Constitution providing for the election of priests and bishops. 1806 The Confederation of the Rhine was established in Germany. 1864 U.S. President Abraham Lincoln witnessed the battle where Union forces repelled Jubal Early's army on the outskirts of Washington, DC. 1870 The first rotary can opener with a cutting wheel was patented by William W. Lyman. 1912 The first foreign-made film to premiere in America, "Queen Elizabeth", was shown. 1933 A minimum wage of 40 cents an hour was established in the U.S. 1941 Moscow was bombed by the German Luftwaffe for the first time. 1957 The U.S. surgeon general, Leroy E. Burney, reported that there was a direct link between smoking and lung cancer. 1960 Manufacturing began for the Etch A Sketch. 1974 John Ehrlichman, a former aide to U.S. President Nixon, and three others were convicted of conspiring to violate the civil rights of Daniel Ellsberg's former psychiatrist. 1982 "E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial" broke all box-office records by surpassing the $100-million mark of ticket sales in the first 31 days of its opening. 1982 The last of the distinctive-looking Checker taxicabs rolled off the assembly line in Kalamazoo, MI. 1998 1.7 billion people watched soccer's World Cup finals between France and Brazil. France won 3-0. 1999 Walt Disney Co. announced that it was merging all of its Internet operations together with Infoseek into Go.com. 2000 Russia launched the Zvezda after two years of delays. The module was built to be the living quarters for the International Space Station (ISS.) 2021 Do smiled. |
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