Good Morning, Do, Today is Wednesday, October 26 Have FUN! DearWebby Todays Bonehead Award: 2 found guilty in murder of special needs teen over his red shoes Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 26, in 1825 The Erie Canal opened in upstate New York. The 363-mile canal connected Lake Erie and the Hudson River at a cost of $7,602,000. See More of what happened on this day in history. | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ The sad truth is that excellence makes people nervous. --- Shana Alexander The denunciation of the young is a necessary part of the hygiene of older people, and greatly assists in the circulation of their blood. --- Logan Pearsall Smith (1865 - 1946) "A man may be a fool and not know it -- but not if he is married." --- H.L. Mencken ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A couple just started their Lamaze class and they were given an activity requiring the husband to wear a bag of sand - to give him an idea of what it feels like to be pregnant. The husband stood up and shrugged saying, "This doesn't feel so bad." The instructor then dropped a pen and asked the husband to pick it up. "You want me to pick up the pen as if I were pregnant, the way my wife would do it?" the husband asked. "Exactly," replied the instructor. To the delight of the other husbands, he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, pick up that pen for me." ______________________________________________________ 2017 Launch Flash Sale MTP $29.99 ______________________________________________________ Recently in Traffic Court, a man who received an expensive parking ticket testified that a uniformed Policeman had given his OK for the man to park there. The Judge asked the man if he would recognise the Officer if he ever saw him again, and the man replied that he would. The Judge then said, "Good. When you see the Officer again, tell him he owes you 57 dollars. Next..." ______________________________________________________ >From FB ______________________________________________________ If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! ______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Kanasho Johns, 29, Kevin Deon Johnson, 26 Los Angeles, California 2 found guilty in murder of special needs teen over his red shoes Two men were found guilty on Monday of first-degree murder in the slaying of a special needs teen, who was gunned down in South Los Angeles allegedly over the color of his shoes. The victim, Price was described as standing under 5 feet tall and weighing less than 90 pounds. Jurors convicted Kanasho Johns, 29, and Kevin Deon Johnson, 26, for the 2015 killing of Tavin Price, described by family members as having special needs. Johns was also convicted of felony possession of a firearm. Prosecutors say Johns and Johnson were two neighborhood Crips members, and they targeted Price because of what he was wearing. Around 11 a.m. last May, Price and his mother, Jennifer Rivers, were at a car wash near the corner of Florence Avenue and Crenshaw Boulevard. Price went into a nearby store, where he was approached by a man who asked Price to remove his shoes. Price then walked back to his mother at the car wash to tell her what the man said. Authorities said the man followed Price back to the car wash and opened fire. Rivers said she tried to run after the shooter but couldn't catch him. In court, Price was depicted as wearing a red T-shirt and red shoes at the time of the shooting. Rivers described her son as having a mental capacity of a 12- year-old, saying he was never affiliated with a gang in his life. Price was also described as standing under 5 feet tall and weighing less than 90 pounds. "This is a stereotypical innocent victim," said deputy district attorney Bobby Zoumberakis. "He's done nothing wrong. He had no criminal record. He had no gang involvement. I think the jury saw that and saw how important it was to get justice for him." A third man, 31-year-old Dwight Kevin Smith, has pleaded guilty to voluntary manslaughter in Price's death. He is set to be sentenced in October. Sentencing for Johns and Johnson is scheduled for Nov. 30. Rivers said she is relieved her sons' killers are heading to prison. "They have to sit there and feel every pain, everything that I feel," she said. "All I could hear every day is my son saying 'Mommy am I going to be alright? I'm not going to die, am I?'" ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Janet Re: Excel: make a Sunday line in a graph Dear Webby, I'm sure glad we got you! Nobody else knows your Excel tricks, and there is nothing in the Excel help about it. I got a graph, where I enter my blood sugar readings. I want the graph to show a line to indicate Sundays. How do I do that? Janet Dear Janet Lets say you choose vertical bars for the sugar readings, with the date below the bottom and the date numbers turned 90 degrees. You probably have a column for the date in your data part. Let's say that is column B and you have the date there increasing by one every row. Start with row 4 and leave the first 3 rows for headers. Don't worry about getting the date number. Just type in the date like 10/16/2016 into B4 If the maximum in the sugar reading lines is 20, then put this formula into the column, where you have Sundays: =IF(WEEKDAY(B4,1)=1,$B$2,0) That formula checks to see if the day code in B4 (using method 1, which is standard) =1 1 is the day code for Sunday, 2 is Monday, 3 is Tuesday, and so on. So, if it IS 1 (Sunday), then the formula uses whatever you have in B2. That number should be a bit bigger than the maximum expected sugar reading, for example 20. If the day code is NOT 1, then the number is 0 You COULD hardwire the 20 from B2 into the formula, but then, if you have to change that to a lower or higher number, you would have to change that in every line. This way you just change it in the look-up cell: B2 Clear enough? Have FUN! DearWebby >From Max The other day I needed to call home, but the only pay phone I could find was in use. So I stood to the side and politely waited until it was free, thinking it would only be a couple of minutes. Five minutes went by, and still the man was on the phone. He was just standing there, not saying a word. Another five minutes went by, and he still wasn't talking. Finally, I tapped him on the shoulder and asked if I could use the phone. I really wouldn't be long, but needed to make an important call. "Hold your horses," he responded, covering the receiver. "I'm talking to my wife." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Holiday Candle Holders By Donna [362 Posts, 373 Comments] This is a great looking and easy to make project for any holiday with a personalization of your stencil theme. Total Time: 1 hour Supplies: empty glass jar(s) with at least one smooth side self stick vinyl sheet (ask at any craft and many Dollar stores) scissors acrylic paint sponge brush(s) tea candle(s) string, twine, or rattan optional: corn kernels, beans, beads, or even pebbles for the bottom of the jar Steps: Draw or copy a shape onto the back of your sheet of vinyl. Cut it out, remove the backing and stick it directly onto your jar, smoothing out any bubbles. Paint your first coat of whatever color you choose onto your jar. It will be thin and streaky, that's OK you will let it dry a bit while making your second jar and come back for two or three coats more. Before the paint becomes totally dry peel off your cut out decal. If you wait until it drys it may pull off some paint and leave less clear edges. Once it is dry, tie some twine or rope along the top neck of the jar and add whatever seeds or beans into the bottom of the jar before adding your tea candle. They make a sweet centerpiece or decoration, don't you think? To avoid having the tea candles sitting at an angle like the right one in the picture, don't use beans or anything coarse for the ballast. Ballast is supposed to be heavy and even. Plaster of Paris with a tea candle pressed into it before it hardens makes a much safer ballast. However, unless you have cats who like knocking things over, you don't normally need a ballast. Gluing some of that sticky feeling drawer liner mesh onto the bottom (outside) is much safer. Also, unless you are a sadist who enjoys seeing people burn their fingers, include a few pieces of spaghetti. They work really well for lighting the candle, pilot lights and even BBQs. Have FUN! DearWebby Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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Hey, since we're now living in the time of e-mail and the more common use of the written language, it is time for an English lesson. So, with tongue firmly in cheek, here are some rules to keep in mind: 1. Verbs has to agree with their subjects. 2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with. 3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction. 4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive. 5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat). 6. Always avoid annoying alliteration. 7. Be more or less specific. 8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary. 9. Also, too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies. 10. No sentence fragments. No comma splices, run-ons are bad too. 11. Contractions aren't helpful and shouldn't be used. 12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos. 13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous. 14. One should never generalize. 15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches. 16. Don't use no double negatives. 17. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc. 18. One-word sentences? Eliminate. 19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake. 20. The passive voice is to be ignored. 21. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas. 22. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice. 23. Kill all exclamation points!!!! 24. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them. 25. Understatement is probably not the best way to propose earth ahattering ideas. 26. Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed. 27. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know." 28. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: resist hyperbole; not one writer in a billion can use it correctly. 29. Puns are for children, not groan readers. 30. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms. 31. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed. 32. Who needs rhetorical questions? 33. Exaggeration is a million times worse than understatement. 34. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out. | | every picture tells a story - awesome photography |
____________________________________________________ A doctor sees the old man walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm! The next time the old man had an appointment, the doc says, "You're really doing great, aren't you?" "Just doing what you told me, Doctor. Get a hot mama and be cheerful." "I didn't say that... I said, You've got a heart murmur, be careful..." "You do that, doc! I gotta run now. Mama is waiting!" ____________________________________________________ A spammer had been feeling down for so long that he finally decided to seek the aid of a psychiatrist. He went there, laid on the couch, spilled his guts then waited for the profound wisdom of the psychiatrist to make him feel better. The psychiatrist asked him a few questions, took some notes then sat thinking in silence for a few minutes with a puzzled look on his face. Suddenly, he looked up with an expression of delight and said, "Um, I think your problem is low self-esteem. It is very common among losers." ____________________________________________________ | | The rare and elusive Spirit bear. |
____________________________________________________ | Today on October 26 in 1825 The Erie Canal opened in upstate New York. The 363-mile canal connected Lake Erie and the Hudson River at a cost of $7,602,000. 1854 Charles William Post was born. He was the inventor of "Grape Nuts," "Postum" and "Post Toasties." 1858 H.E. Smith patented the rotary-motion washing machine. 1881 The "Gunfight at the OK Corral" took place in Tombstone, AZ. The fight was between Wyatt Earp, his two brothers and Doc Holiday and the Ike Clanton Gang. 1905 Norway gained independence from Sweden. 1942 The U.S. ship Hornet was sunk in the Battle of Santa Cruz during World War II. 1944 During World War II, the Battle of Leyte Gulf ended. The battle was won by American forces and brought the end of the Pacific phase of World War II into sight. 1949 U.S. President Harry Truman raised the minimum wage from 40 to 75 cents an hour. 1951 Winston Churchill became the prime minister of Great Britain. 1958 Pan American Airways flew its first Boeing 707 jetliner from New York City to Paris. 1962 The Soviet Union made an offer to end the Cuban Missile Crisis by taking their missile bases out of Cuba if the U.S. agreed to not invade Cuba and would remove Jupiter missiles in Turkey. 1967 The Shah of Iran crowned himself and his Queen after 26 years on the Peacock Throne. 1972 U.S. National security adviser Henry Kissinger declared, "Peace is at hand" in Vietnam. That was the admission of defeat of the home front. 1975 Anwar Sadat became the first Egyptian president to officially visit to the United States. 1977 The experimental space shuttle Enterprise successfully landed at Edwards Air Force Base in California. 1979 South Korean President Park Chung-hee was shot to death by Kim Jae-kyu, the head of the Korean Central Intelligence Agency. 1980 Israeli President Yitzhak Navon became the first Israeli head of state to visit Egypt. 1984 "Baby Fae" was given the heart of baboon after being born with a severe heart defect. She lived for 21 days with the animal heart. 1985 Approximately 110,000 people marched past the U.S. and Soviet embassies in London to pressure the two countries to end their arms race. 1988 Roussel Uclaf, a French pharmaceutical company, announced it was halting the worldwide distribution of RU- 486. The pill is used to induce abortions. The French government made the company reverse itself two days later. 1988 Two whales were freed by Soviet and American icebreakers. The whales had been trapped for nearly 3 weeks in an Arctic ice pack. 1990 The U.S. State Department issued a warning that terrorists could be planning an attack on a passenger ship or aircraft. 1990 Wayne Gretzky became the first NHL player to reach 2,000 points. 1991 Former Washington Mayor Marion Barry arrived at a federal correctional institution in Petersburg, VA, to begin serving a six-month sentence for cocaine possession. 1992 General Motors Corp. Chairman Robert Stempel resigned after the company recorded its highest losses in history. 1992 In Canada, voters rejected the Charlottetown accord, which was designed to unify the country. 1993 Deborah Gore Dean was convicted of 12 felony counts of defrauding the U.S. government and lying to the U.S. Congress. Dean was a central figure in the Reagan-era HUD scandal. 1994 Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin of Israel and Prime Minister Abdel Salam Majali of Jordan signed a peace treaty. 1995 Mario Lemieux (Pittsburgh Penguins) scored his 500th National Hockey League (NHL) career goal against the New York Islanders in his 605th game. He became the second-fastest player to attain the plateau. Wayne Gretzky had reached 600 goals by his 575th NHL game. 1998 A French lab found a nerve agent on an Iraqi missile warhead. 2001 It was announced that Fort Worth's Lockheed Martin won a defense contract for $200 billion over 40 years. The contract, for the "joint strike fighter," was the largest defense contract in history. 2002 Russian authorities pumped a gas into a theater where separatist rebels held over 800 hostages. The gas killed 116 hostages and all 50 hostage-takers were killed by the gas or gunshot wounds. 2016 Do smiled. |
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