Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, May 30 ___________________________________________________ Today, May 29 in 1848 W.G. Young patented the ice cream freezer. ______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award: Substitute Teacher Admits Giving Student Oral Sex And Intercourse ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
_____________________________________________________ She had an unequalled gift... of squeezing big mistakes into small opportunities. --- Henry James (1843 - 1916) Petunia ? _____________________________________________________ The mother of three notoriously unruly youngsters was asked whether or not she'd have children if she had it to do over again. "Sure," she replied, "but not the same ones." __________________________________________ St. Joseph Lighthouse, Michigan Photo by Rob Urquhart __________________________________________ John and Suzi had just driven an exhausting 12-hour drive to their honeymoon destination in Daytona Beach, Fla. They found their hotel room but decided to refresh themselves with a dip in the hotel pool. Suzi must have dropped a few pounds due to the pre-wedding jitters, because each time she dove into the pool, she lost either the top or bottom of her skimpy new bikini. They had the pool to their self's, so they just laughed and retrieved the pieces. Later they dressed for dinner and went down to the hotel restaurant. Waiting for a table they sat in the lounge and ordered drinks. Above the bar was a huge, empty, glistening fish tank. Curious, John asked, "Why is such a beautiful fish tank empty?" The bartender grinned from ear to ear as he replied, "That's not a fish tank, it's the swimming pool." ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Loryn Barclay, 27, Oklahoma Substitute Teacher Admits Giving Student Oral Sex And Intercourse A substitute teacher pleaded guilty in a case where she was accused of sexual contact with a student. Not only did she admit to giving him oral sex in the park, she allegedly had intercourse with him at his parents home as well. Loryn Barclay a 27-year-old former teacher who served as a substitute, teachers aide, and teachers assistant at Monett High School in Monett, Missouri pleaded guilty in a case that saw her accused of repeatedly having sex with a student. Instead of facing prison, however, she was able to plead her way out of it, avoiding jail and receiving what many would say is a slap on the wrist. After Barclay was initially hired as a substitute teacher, she became a paraprofessional an aide that usually assists with special needs students at the school just a few months later. A few months after that, she then became a teachers assistant, but she wouldnt last long in her new position. She was fired within months of starting at the school, on the day a school resource officer was tipped off about her actions with a student. Barclays trouble began when a resource officer at the high school received an anonymous tip about an inappropriate relationship between the teacher and a 17- year-old student. In a subsequent interview between the officer and the boy, the student recounted multiple sexual encounters, including both intercourse and oral sex with Barclay. The officer then interviewed Loryn Barclay, who admitted to an inappropriate relationship with the student, according to the Independent. She said she had intercourse with the student twice at his home and performed oral sex on the student in a car at North Park. The sexual encounters took place over the course of a couple of months, while Barclay was employed as a substitute at the childs school. After confirming each of the instances of intercourse and oral sex, Barclay was charged with four counts under a law that prohibits sexual contact with a student by an educator at a public school. Two of the charges were filed in Barry County, within whose jurisdiction Barclay admitted to having intercourse with the boy at his familys home. The other two were filed in Lawrence County, where she admitted to giving the boy oral sex at North Park. At a preliminary court hearing, the student testified that he became interested in Barclay when she was substitute teaching. He messaged her, and they began chatting on social media and in text messages. In a written statement to Monett police, the boy said the two bonded over hobbies and mutual interests. The student told the court that after about a week of the back-and-forth flirting, he asked to start seeing her outside of school, and she agreed, according to Metro. DeaWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Re: Dear Webby, Dear Have FUN! DearWebby
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____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________ >From the Bausell Sailor: I was at the dentist yesterday and told the nurse "I sure hope that the dentist does not say the four-letter word that patients fear" and she asked what that would be and I told her "OOPS"! _____________________________________________ One evening after work, a man drove his secretary home after she had a little too much to drink at a party. Although nothing happened, he decided not to mention it to his wife. Later that night, the man and his wife were driving to a movie when he spotted a high-heeled shoe hidden under the passenger seat. Pointing to something out the passenger window to distract his wife, he picked up the shoe and tossed it out of his window. They arrived at the theater a short time later and were about to get out of the car when his wife asked, "Honey, have you seen my other shoe?" _____________________________________________ The World's Shortest Books 25. "My plan to find the real killers" by OJ Simpson 24. "To all the men I've loved before" by Ellen DeGeneres 23. "The Book of Virtues" by Bill Clinton 22. The Difference between Reality and Dilbert 21. Human Rights Advances in China 20. "Things I Wouldn't Do for Money" by Dennis Rodman 19. Al Gore: The Wild Years 18. Amelia Earhart's Guide to the Pacific Ocean 17. Career Opportunities for Liberal Arts Majors 16. America's Most Popular Lawyers 15. Detroit - A Travel Guide 14. Different Ways to Spell "Bob" 13. Dr. Kevorkian's Collection of Motivational Speeches 12. Easy UNIX 11. Ethiopian Tips on World Dominance 10. Everything Men Know About Women 9. Everything Women Know About Men 8. French Hospitality 7. George Foreman's Big Book of Baby Names 6. "How to Sustain a Musical Career" by Art Garfunkel 5. Mike Tyson's Guide to Dating Etiquette 4. One Hundred and One Spotted Owl Recipes by the EPA 3. Staple Your Way to Success 2. The Amish Phone Directory 1. The Engineer's Guide to Fashion ____________________________________________ A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy finds an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole." The grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole." The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. Then he puts the worm back into the hole. The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hair spray, and runs into the house. Thirty minutes later the grandfather comes back out and hands the little boy another five dollars. The little boy says, "Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars." The grandfather replies, "I know. That's from your grandma." | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today May 30 in 1416 Jerome of Prague was burned as a heretic by the Church. 1431 Joan of Arc was burned at the stake by the English in Rouen, France, at the age of 19. 1527 The University of Marburg was founded in Germany. 1539 Hernando de Soto, the Spanish explorer, landed in Florida with 600 soldiers to search for gold. 1783 The first daily newspaper was published in the U.S. by Benjamin Towner called "The Pennsylvania Evening Post" 1814 The First Treaty of Paris was declared, which returned France to its 1792 borders. 1848 W.G. Young patented the ice cream freezer. 1883 Twelve people were trampled to death in New York City in a stampede when a rumor that the Brooklyn Bridge was in danger of collapsing occurred. 1896 The first automobile accident occurred in New York City. 1903 In Riverdale, NY, the first American motorcycle hill climb was held. 1911 Ray Harroun won the first Indianapolis 500. At the time, it was known as International 500-Mile Sweepstakes Race. Harroun's average speed was 74.59 miles per hour. 1912 The U.S. Marines were sent to Nicaragua to protect American interests. 1913 The First Balkan War ended. 1921 The U.S. Navy transferred the Teapot Dome oil reserves to the Department of the Interior. 1922 The Lincoln Memorial was dedicated in Washington, DC. 1933 Sally Rand introduced her exotic and erotic fan dance to audiences at Chicagos Century of Progress Exposition. 1943 American forces secured the Aleutian island of Attu from the Japanese during World War II. 1958 Unidentified soldiers killed in World War II and the Korean conflicts were buried at Arlington National Cemetery. 1967 Daredevil Evel Knievel jumped 16 automobiles in a row in a motorcycle stunt at Ascot Speedway in Gardena, CA. 1967 The state of Biafra seceded from Nigeria and Civil war erupted. 1971 Mariner 9, the American deep space probe blasted off on a journey to Mars. 1971 Blue Ribbon Sports officially became Nike, Inc. 1981 In Chittagong, Bangladesh, President Ziaur Rahman was assassinated. 1982 Spain became the 16th NATO member. Spain was the first country to enter the Western alliance since West Germany in 1955. 1983 Peru's President Fernando Belaunde Terry declared a state of emergency and suspended civil rights after bombings by leftist rebels. 1989 The "Goddess of Democracy" statue (33 feet height) was erected in Tiananmen Square by student demonstrators. 1996 Britain's Prince Andrew and the former Sarah Ferguson were granted an uncontested decree ending their 10-year marriage. 1997 Jesse K. Timmendequas was convicted in Trenton, NJ, of raping and strangling a 7-year-old neighbor, Megan Kanka. The 1994 murder inspired "Megan's Law," requiring that communities be notified when sex offenders move in. 1998 A powerful earthquake hit northern Afghanistan killing up to 5,000. 2002 In New York, a ceremony was held to officially mark the end of the clean up from the World Trade Center terrorist attacks on September 11, 2001. 2020 Do smiled. |
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