Good Morning, Do, Today is Monday, November 27 Have Fun! Dearwebby Thank you, Doug! Todays Bonehead Award: Woman left 6-year-old in taxi while she robbed bank Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, November 27 in 1701 Anders Celsius was born in Sweden. He was the inventor of the Celsius thermometer which has the temperature of freezing water at zero and at boiling water at 100 degrees. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ I'm still an atheist, thank God. --- Luis Bunuel (1900 - 1983) The visionary lies to himself, the liar only to others. --- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends. "The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sing. And stay home at night!" A whitehaired grannie overheard and spoke up, "Girl, what you are asking for is a television set!" _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Dave for this story: A husband, the owner of a new car, was somewhat reluctant to allow his wife to drive his prize possession even to the grocery store which was a few blocks from the house. After she insisted, he finally relented, cautioning her as she departed, "Remember, if you have an accident, the newspaper will print your age." ______________________________________________________ Asian Fly Catcher _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! _____________________________________________________ Thanks to Shirley and Bill for this report: You may not know this but many non living things have a gender. Ziploc Bags are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them. Copiers are Female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed. A Tire is Male, because it goes bald and it's often over- inflated. A Hot Air Balloon is Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part. Sponges are Female, because they're soft, squeezable and retain water. A Web Page is Female, because it's always getting hit on. A Subway is Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up. An Hourglass is Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom. A Hammer is Male , because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around. A Remote Control is Female. Ha! You thought it'd be male , didn't you? But consider this - it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying! _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Diana Marini, 28, Islip, New York Woman left 6-year-old in taxi while she robbed bank Police say a woman robbed a bank on Long Island while her 6- year-old daughter waited in a taxi. Suffolk County police say 28-year-old Diana Marini entered a Chase bank in Islandia at 1 p.m. Saturday and gave the teller a note demanding cash. They say the teller handed over an undetermined amount of money and Marini fled in a taxi that was waiting for her. Police stopped the taxi and found Marini and her 6-year-old inside. Marini was arrested on charges of robbery and endangering the welfare of a child. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Shanya Re: Megapixels Dear Webby, Dear Webby, How important is the number of Megapixels of a camera? Aren't five of them enough? Shanya Dear Shanya Megapixels are only relevant when comparing cameras of the same maker. The number of megapixels is less important to me than their size and depth. I can take much better pictures with a 2 Megapixel Canon than with a 5 Megapixel HP, and reach much further into the dark. In addition to that, quite often the megapixel numbers have tiny writing saying "equivalent of" behind them. They are not even real counted or computed numbers, but just fake BS from their advertising department. Read comparative reviews, and if you can afford it, go with a good name rather than a silly number. Have FUN! DearWebby Thanks to Matt for bringing back this classinc: HAVING MOM OVER FOR DINNER You don't even have to be a mother to enjoy this one......... Bryan invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Bryan's mother couldn't help but keep noticing how beautiful Bryan's roommate, Stephanie, was. Bryan's mother had long been suspicious of a relationship between Bryan and Stephanie, and this had only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two react, Mother started to wonder if there was more between Bryan and Stephanie than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Bryan volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you Stephanie and I are just roommates." About a week later, Stephanie came to Bryan saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" Bryan said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll send her a e-mail just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote: Dear Mother: I'm not saying that you "did" take the gravy ladle from the house, I'm not saying that you "did not" take the gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner. Love, Bryan Several days later, Bryan received a letter from his mother that read: Dear Son: I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Stephanie, and I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with Stephanie. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
One of the world's greatest scientists was also recognized as the original absent-minded professor. One day, on board a train, he was unable to find his ticket. The conductor said, "Take it easy. You'll find it." When the conductor returned, the professor still couldn't find the ticket. The conductor, recognizing the famous scientist, said, "I'm sure you bought a ticket. Forget about it." "You're very kind," the professor said, "but I must find it, otherwise I won't know where to get off. I forgot where I am supposed to be going today!" ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Removing Stains Above Toilet Water Line By mx5 girl [12 Comments] Best Answer As a service plumber for ten years I can offer this. The stains are from minerals in the water, this differs everywhere and depends much on where the supply comes from, aquafers, wells, mountain, spring etc.... Borax is natural, kills mold, removes stains and will not effect your system if it happens to be septic. It is safe, allergy friendly and kills odors as well. give this a try. If it is especially bad let it sit for 5 minutes before scrubbing. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bloody 5-iron standing over an unconscious man. The detective asks, "Ma'am, is that your husband?" "Yes" says the woman. "Did you hit him with that golf club?" "Yes, yes, I did." The woman begins to sob, drops the club, and puts her hands on her face. "How many times did you hit him?" "I don't know, five, six, maybe seven times..... put me down for a five." __________________________________________________ | | The costume party of the Russian 1903 Winter Ball. |
The minister was shaking everyone's hand while they were leaving the church. An elderly man shook his hand and said, "Reverend, that was the worst sermon I've ever listened to. It was terrible." As the minister stood there dumbfounded, the old man's wife stepped in, trying to help. "Please don't pay any attention to him, pastor. He slept through all of it. He just repeats what he hears others say." ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
____________________________________________________ | Today, November 27, in 1701 Anders Celsius was born in Sweden. He was the inventor of the Celsius thermometer. 1779 The College of Pennsylvania became the University of Pennsylvania. It was the first legally recognized university in America. 1889 Curtis P. Brady was issued the first permit to drive an automobile through Central Park in New York City. 1901 The Army War College was established in Washington, DC. 1934 The U.S. bank robber George "Baby Face" Nelson was killed by FBI agents near Barrington, IL. 1939 The play "Key Largo," by Maxwell Anderson, opened in New York. 1951 Hosea Richardson became the first black horse racing jockey to be licensed in Florida. 1963 U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson delivered his first address to a joint session of Congress. 1970 Pope Paul VI, visiting the Philippines, was attacked at the Manila airport by a Bolivian painter disguised as a priest. 1973 The U.S. Senate voted to confirm Gerald R. Ford as vice president after the resignation of Spiro T. Agnew. 1978 San Francisco Mayor George Moscone and City Supervisor Harvey Milk, a gay-rights activist, were shot to death inside City Hall by Dan White, a former supervisor. 1980 Dave Williams (Chicago Bears) became the first player in NFL history to return a kick for touchdown in overtime. 1983 183 people were killed when a Colombian Avianca Airlines Boeing 747 crashed near Barajas airport in Madrid. 1985 The British House of Commons approved the Anglo-Irish accord giving Dublin a consulting role in the governing of British-ruled Northern Ireland. 1987 French hostages Jean-Louis Normandin and Roger Auque were set free by their pro-Iranian captors in West Beirut, Lebanon. 1989 107 people were killed when a bomb destroyed a Colombian jetliner minutes after the plane had taken off from Bogota's international airport. Police blamed the incident on drug traffickers. 1991 The UN Security Council unanimously adopted a resolution that led the way for the establishment of a UN peacekeeping operation in Yugoslavia. 1992 In Venezuela, rebel forces tried but failed to overthrow President Carlos Andres Perez for the second time in ten months. 2008 The ocean liner Queen Elizabeth 2 (QE2) was taken out of service after more than 30 years. The ship was launched on September 20, 1967. 2017 Do smiled. |
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