Dear Webby's Humor Letter
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 Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, December 25 Merry Christmas!  Have FUN! Dearwebby Today's Bonehead Award:  Killer finally faces justice 30 years after he murdered girl, 8  ______________________________________________________ Today, December 25 in 1818 "Silent Night" was performed for the first time, at the Church of St. Nikolaus in Oberndorff, Austria. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
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A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. --- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950), The only function of economic forecasting is to make astrology look respectable. --- John Kenneth Galbraith The smaller the mind the greater the conceit. --- Aesop (620 BC - 560 BC) ______________________________________________________ A man walks into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the end of it. She is so beautiful he cannot take his mind off her, so he calls the bartender over and says, "Take that woman a drink on me." The bartender says, "It won't work." "What do you mean, it won't work?" "That woman," says the barkeep, "is hard-hearted and hostile. You won't get nowhere with her - nobody does!" "Okay," says the guy. "How about this: you got any Spanish fly?" "Spanish fly? No," says the bartender, "I've got Jewish Fly." "So, what the hell is Jewish fly?" "I don't know; I've never used it. You want to give it a try?" "Yes," says the guy, and the next chance he gets, on his way to the men's room, he reaches behind her back and drops the stuff in the woman's drink. Nothing happens for a long time, but then all of a sudden he feels her body close against his, and her voice is whispering hotly in his ear, and she's saying "I can't stand it anymore! .......You excite me so much...take me shopping!" ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ There was this man in a mental hospital. All day he would put his ear to the wall and listen. The doctors would watch this guy do this day after day. One doctor finally decided to see what the guy was listening to, so he put his ear up to the wall and listened. He heard nothing. So he turned to the mental patient and said, "I don't hear anything." The mental patient said, "Yeah, I know. It's been like that for months!" _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ >From Dana My husband was once employed in the printing division of a large manufacturing firm. One morning, word came from the top that some visiting VIPs would be touring the plant in just a few minutes. All production was immediately shut down as employees scrambled to quickly tidy up the work place. When the appointed lookout yelled, "Here they come!" fifty fingers that were poised over fifty machine start-up buttons pressed down in unison and blew every fuse in the building. ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
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___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by John Miller, 59, Grabill Indiana Killer finally faces justice 30 years after he murdered girl, 8 John Miller, 59, was sentenced to 80 years jail for the molestation and murder for the gruesome death of April Tinsley, who disappeared from her Fort Wayne, Indiana neighborhood on April 1, 1988. Tinsley's body was found 20 miles away in a ditch in a ditch by a jogger and a witness at the time told police a man in his thirties had pulled the girl into his blue pickup truck. One of her shoes was found 1,000 feet from the body. Authorities determined that Tinsley was sexually assaulted then strangled to death. For decades, the little girl's killer tormented the family by sending taunting letters and used condoms, according to WPTA. In 1990, Miller left a note on a barn that read: ' I kill 8 year old April M Tinsley, did you find her other shoe haha I will kill agin (sic),' NBC reported. Police were eventually able to determine Miller committed the heinous crime when DNA testing became and genealogy databases became available. Authorities narrowed the search down to two brothers and pulled used condoms containing DNA evidence from Miller's trailer park trash in July. He was arrested at his home on Grabill on July 15 and when police knocked on his door, he replied 'April Tinsley'. Miller appeared in Allen Superior Court in a wheelchair. His lawyer read a statement expressing regret, but prosecutors did not believe the apology was genuine. April's mother, Janet, urged prosecutors to seek the death penalty, but Miller avoided death row by pleaded guilty early. We're glad the case is solved and has come to closure a little bit, but in a way April really didn't got the justice that she deserves,' Janet Tinsley said according to Wane.com. 'Right now, it's a start. But we're never going to forget her. Her name's going to be out there.'
From: Helene Re: No Right Click Dear Webby, Although I disagree with most of your political & social beliefs, your letter is really addictive and, hate to admit this, but enjoy -- a lot. So, thanks. Before I go through an elaborate process, any hints about what causes the right button of a mouse to suddenly stop functioning? It worked fine yesterday. Appreciate any advice. Helene Dear Helene It's not political that your RIGHT click does not work. First go into Settings, Control Panel, Mouse, Buttons and make sure that right clicking has not been turned off by some left-wing liberal program. If that is OK, shake and bash the mouse on the table. Don't be too gentle, except with the mouse cord. Make sure that there won't be any strain on the mouse cord during that. If that does not help either, replace the mouse. They are not made to last forever. Have FUN! DearWebby
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We were thoroughly confused. While transcribing medical audiotapes, my co-worker came upon the following garbled diagnosis: "This man has pholenfrometrie." Knowing nothing about that particular condition, she double-checked with the doctor. After listening to the tape, he shook his head. "This man," he said, translating for her, "has fallen from a tree."
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>From Rob I knew I had been in the military too long when my five-year- old daughter sang her version of "Silent Night." It went like this: "Silent night, holy night, all is calm, all is bright, Round yon virgin mother and child, Holy infantry, tender and mild..." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Get More Life Out of Sandpaper Just because a sandpaper has become flat doesn't necessarily mean it's worn out. The sandpaper may just be clogged with sawdust. Try removing the sawdust with a soft bristled brush. Thriftyfun.com A suede brush made with brass wire or brass plated steel wire works very well for reviving sand paper, even if it is clogged with not completely dry glue or paint. The wire is harder than the glue, but softer than the grit. Have FUN! DearWebby ____________________________________________________
Merry Christmas everyone and may God bless our Military where ever they are for Christmas.
___________________________________________________ Late one night I stopped at one of those 24-hour gas station mini-marts to get myself a fresh-brewed cup of coffee. When I picked up the pot, I could not help noticing that the brew was as black as asphalt and just about as thick. "How old is the coffee you have here?" I asked the woman who was standing behind the store counter. She shrugged. "I don't know. I've only been working here two weeks." ___________________________________________________ Thanks to Sandie for this story: As the owner of an old clunker, I was used to dealing with a variety of car breakdowns. One day at the supermarket, just after I had filled my trunk with groceries, I noticed a stream of fluid pouring out of the bottom of the car. I knew I had to get home before the car was once again out of action. When I arrived, I asked my husband to take a look at the problem. Expecting the worst, I braced myself for his diagnosis. When he came back in, he was smiling. "It's apple juice," he said. ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
What's the Heirloom Christmas Book about? It is a BIG e-book with all the stories, that your great grandmother recited or read to your grandmother, when she was a kid. I want these stories to be preserved. You may know what it is about, when somebody mentions "bittersweet love like in 'The Gift Of The Magi'," but with today's education, your kids or even their teachers, probably don't know. So I collected these classics and put them all together into one e-book. This book of Christmas Stories is a cultural treasure, that should be passed on to our descendants. Since it is in e-book format, you can put it onto a CD for each kid, and fill the rest of the CD with family pictures and other keepsakes, making it a true heirloom. I have produced a smaller version last year. This final edition has more stories and illustrations, but I kept the price down to the same $10. The Heirloom Christmas Book also makes a nice Christmas gift! Click on the book cover to get your copy or click on Heirloom Christmas Book http://webby.com/cb You can download it and give the file as a gift! ___________________________________________________
 Today December 25 in 800 Charlemagne was crowned first Holy Roman Emperor in Rome by Pope Leo III. 1066 William the Conqueror was crowned king of England. 1223 St. Francis of Assisi assembled one of the first Nativity scenes, in Greccio, Italy. 1776 Gen. George Washington and his troops crossed the Delaware River for a surprise attack against Hessian forces at Trenton, NJ. 1818 "Silent Night" was performed for the first time, at the Church of St. Nikolaus in Oberndorff, Austria. 1868 U.S. President Andrew Johnson granted an unconditional pardon to all persons involved in the Southern rebellion that resulted in the Civil War. 1896 John Philip Sousa finally titled the melody "The Stars and Stripes Forever." 1914 During World War I, British and German troops observed an unofficial truce, exchanging presents and even playing football together on the Western Front. 1917 The play "Why Marry?" opened at the Astor Theatre in New York City. "Why Marry?" was the first dramatic play to win a Pulitzer Prize. 1926 Hirohito became the emperor of Japan after the death of his father Emperor Taisho. 1930 The Mt. Van Hoevenberg bobsled run at Lake Placid, New York opened to the public. It was the first bobsled track of international specifications to open in the U.S. 1931 Lawrence Tibbett was the featured vocalist as radio came to the Metropolitan Opera House in New York City. The first opera was "Hansel und Gretel" and was heard on the NBC network of stations. 1939 "A Christmas Carol," by Charles Dickens, was read on CBS radio for the first time. 1941 Hong Kong surrendered to the Japanese. 1946 W.C. Fields died at the age of 66. 1962 The Department of Commerce Census Clock in Washington, DC, recorded the U.S. population on this day as 188,000,000. 1972 The Nicaraguan capital Managua was hit by an earthquake. Over 10,000 people were killed. 1979 The USSR invaded Afghanistan in a bid to halt civil war and protect USSR interests. 1989 Ousted Romanian President Nicolae Ceausescu and his wife, Elena, were executed following a popular uprising. 1989 Dissident playwright Vaclav Havel was elected president of Czechoslovakia. 2000 Over 300 people were killed and dozens were injured by fire at a Christmas party in the Chinese city of Luoyang. The incident occurred at the Dongdu Disco. 2018 Do smiled. 

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