Dear Webby's Humor Letter
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 Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, September 16 _____________________________________________________ Today, September 16 in  1940 U.S. President Roosevelt signed into law the Selective Training and Service Act, which set up the first peacetime military draft in U.S. history in preparation for WWII. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
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Today's Bonehead Award: Ex-football player accused of pulling a 'Jussie Smollett' style fraud in Georgia _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! _______________________________________________ Don't worry about people stealing an idea. If it's original, you will have to ram it down their throats. --- Howard Aiken (1900 - 1973) "A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong." --- Milton Berle _______________________________________________ A golfer whose car broke down flagged down a passing bus and got aboard. With his pockets bulging with golf balls he carefully lowered himself onto a seat next to a little old lady . The little old lady kept looking quizzically at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances from her he said, "It's golf balls." She loked at him full of pity and compassion and asked: "Does it hurt as bad as tennis elbow?" ________________________________________________` Thanks to Linda for this picture: ____________________________________________________
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___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Edawn Coughman, 31, Lawrenceville, Georgia Ex-football player accused of pulling a 'Jussie Smollett' style fraud in Georgia A former tackle for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers was arrested for trashing his Georgia restaurant and making it appear he was the victim of a hate crime, authorities said. Edawn Louis Coughman, 31, was charged Wednesday with masterminding the Jussie Smollett-reminiscent crime at his Lawrenceville business so he could collect from his insurance company and still sell the undamaged appliances he'd claimed were stolen. Coughman used a yellow crowbar to make it look like a break-in and black spray paint to write racially-motivated words, swastikas, and 'MAGA' on the property, the Gwinnett County Police Department said in a press release. Smollett, of Empire fame, was accused of pretending he'd been jumped in Chicago by thugs hollering, This is MAGA country! Police recovered the crowbar, spray paint and appliances from the bed of Coughman's pickup truck. Coughman was charged with false report of a crime, insurance fraud and concealing a license plate.
DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Mellie Re: MS Office onto W7 Dear Webby, I recently purchased a machine from a friend. It came with W7 preloaded, but it doesn't have microsoft office. I have a legal, numbered copy of xp, and would like to load that onto the new machine. Then I want to load office onto it from another computer. Will it erase any of my settings, or personal preferences, namely my IP address, and the wireless internet settings?? Thanks, mellie Dear Mellie Forget it. Microsoft Office is not really sold anymore. If you have more money than brains, then you can rent it for an annual fee. And to promote W10, which apparently nobody except computer magazine shills and computer sellers really want, it requires that you have W10 on your computer. Apparenty it is not quite as bad as VISTA, and if forced to, you can get used to it, eventually. I can fully understand that you want XP for speed and reliability. However, for online security, I would recommend that you give W7 a try. As long as you don't contaminate it with Chrome, it can work for 3 - 4 months wihout crashing. It is not as fast as XP, but it has sonme security built in, that might be a good idea. Instead of Microsoft Office, I would highly recommend Open Office or Office Libre. They are pretty well the same with just cosmetic differences. Both are free, and you just download them. Both Open and Libre feel like Microsoft Office 2003, the last version, that was actually loved, before Microsoft Yuppiefied it. Both Open Office and Office Libre work OK on Windows XP, and of course the newer versions of Windows. What I find very noble of them is that they not only open MS Office files to work on them, in case your daughter's snooty teacher has a free version of MS Office, but it even lets you save the work in MS Office format. Now THAT is style! Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
When a physician remarked on a new patient's extraordinarily ruddy complexion, he said, "High blood pressure, Doc. It comes from my family." "Your mother's side or your father's?" Doc asked. "Neither," he replied. "It's from my wife's family." "Oh, come now," Doc said. "How could your wife's family give you high blood pressure?" He sighed. "You oughta meet 'em sometime, Doc!"
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There was this little guy sitting in a bar, drinking, minding his own business when all of a sudden this great big dude comes in and --WHACK!!-- he knocks him off the bar stool and says, "That was a karate chop from Korea." The little guy thinks "GEEZ" but he gets back up on the stool and starts drinking again when all of a sudden --WHACK-- the big dude knocks him down AGAIN and says, "That was a judo chop from Japan." So the little guy has had enough of this so he leaves and is gone for an hour or so and when comes back. --WHACK!!!"-- He knocks the big dude off his stool and out cold!!! The little guy looks at the bartender and says, "When he comes to himself, tell him that was ....... a pipe wrench from Sears. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com font color="#009990"> Don't Store Luggage Empty This is a handy tip if you don't use your luggage regularly. Instead of storing it empty, fill it up with out of season clothing or extra blankets. Attach a tag that lists the contents on the handle so you can see what is in it at a glance. thriftyfun.Com ____________________________________________________
B-2 stealth bomber flies just 60 feet above impressed plane spotters' heads
___________________________________________________ The first carload of Boy Scouts had left my house minutes earlier, bound for our three-day wilderness trip. As I backed my own vanload of Scouts out of my garage, I noticed a pair of hiking boots on the back steps, so I stopped to retrieve them. An hour later, we caught up with the first car, which was parked at a highway rest stop. Seeing me pull up, my assis- tant Scout leader rolled down his window. "Your wife just called on my cell phone," he said. "She asked if you knew anything about the plumber's boots that were on your back steps." ___________________________________________________ A teacher was finishing up a lesson on the joys of discovery and the importance of curiosity. "Where would we be today," she asked, "if no one had ever been curious?" One child quietly spoke up from the back of the room. "In the Garden of Eden?" ___________________________________________________ She had been thinking about coloring her hair. One day while going through a magazine, she came across an ad for a hair coloring product featuring a beautiful young model with hair a shade that she liked. Wanting a second opinion, she asked her husband, "How do you think this color would look on a face with a few wrinkles?" He looked at the picture, crumbled it up, straightened it out and studied it again. "Just great, hon." __________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
___________________________________________________
 Today, September 16 in 1400 Owain Glyndwr was proclaimed Prince of Wales after rebelling against English rule. He was the last Welsh-born Prince of Wales. 1620 The Mayflower departed from Plymouth, England. The ship arrived at Provincetown, MA, on November 21st and then at Plymouth, MA, on December 26th. There were 102 passengers onboard. 1630 The village of Shawmut changed its name to Boston. 1782 The Great Seal of the United States was impressed on document to negotiate a prisoner of war agreement with the British. It was the first official use of the impression. 1810 The Mexicans began a revolt against Spanish rule. Miguel Hidalgo y Costilla, a Catholic priest of Spanish descent, declared Mexico's independence from Spain in the small town of Dolores. 1893 The "Cherokee Strip" in Oklahoma was swarmed by hundreds of thousands of settlers. 1908 General Motors was founded by William Crapo "Billy" Durant. The company was formed by merging the Buick and Olds car companies. 1940 U.S. President Roosevelt signed into law the Selective Training and Service Act, which set up the first peacetime military draft in U.S. history in preparation for WWII. 1974 U.S. President Ford announced a conditional amnesty program for draft-evaders and deserters during the Vietnam War. 1976 The Episcopal Church formally approved women to be ordained as priests and bishops. 1982 In west Beirut, the massacre of hundreds of Palestinian men, women and children began in refugee camps of the Lebanese Christian militiamen. 1985 The Communist Party in China announced changes in leadership that were designed to bring younger officials into power. 1987 The Montreal Protocol was signed by 24 countries in an effort to save the Earth's ozone layer by reducing emissions of harmful chemicals by the year 2000. It turned out to be a hoax. 1990 An eight-minute videotape of an address by U.S. President George H.W. Bush was shown on Iraqi television. The message warned that action of Saddam Hussein could plunge them into a war "against the world." 1994 Exxon Corporation was ordered by federal jury to pay $5 billion in punitive damages to the people harmed by the 1989 Exxon Valdez spill. 1994 Two astronauts from the space shuttle Discovery went on the first untethered spacewalk in 10 years. 1998 Universal paid $9 million for the rights to the Dr. Seuss classics "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" and "Oh, the Places You'll Go." 2019 Do smiled. 
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