Dear Webby's Humor Letter
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Dear Webby's Humor Letter, daily since 1994
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 Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, January 16 Facebook saboteurs at Microsoft murdered the old Skype. Since MS paid twice as much for Skype as Halliburton plans to charge for the Southern Wall, they figured they can murder the old, compact skype and force everybody to use the space wasting Yuppie Skype. I will be searching for a skin with a compact look. If you find one, please tell me! Today's Bonehead Award:  Tennessee mom put 8-month-old baby in neighbor's unused outdoor freezer  ______________________________________________________ Today, January 16 in 1920 Prohibition went into effect in the U.S. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
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Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. [info][add][mail][note]Albert Schweitzer (1875 - 1965) Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit. --- Peter Ustinov A little nonsense now and then, is relished by the wisest men. --- Socratex ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Doc for this classic: Rick, fresh out of accounting school, went to a interview for a good paying job. The company boss asked various questions about him and his education, but then asked him, "What is three times seven?" "Twenty-two," Rick replied. After he left, he double-checked it on his calculator (he *knew* he should have taken it to the interview!) and realized he wouldn't get the job. About two weeks later, Rick got a letter that said he was hired for the job! He was not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, but he was still very curious. The next day, he went in and asked why he got the job, even though he got such a simple question wrong. The boss shrugged and said, "Well, you were the closest." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Anni wanted a divorce from Sam. The judge asked, "What fault do you find with your husband?" "Your Honor, he's a liar, a brute, a thief and a brainless idiot." "That's very serious," exclaimed his Honor, "Can you prove all that?" "Prove it? Why everybody knows it." "If you knew all this, then why did you marry him?" "I didn't know it before I married him." Sam shouted out, "She did too!" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
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___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Brittany C. Smith, 19, Johnson City, Tennessee Tennessee mom put 8-month-old baby in neighbor's unused outdoor freezer, closed lid A Tennessee mom is facing a child abuse charge after deputies said she put her baby in a backyard freezer on someone else's property. According to WJHL-TV, Brittany C. Smith, 19, of Johnson City, was arrested Jan. 3 after a resident saw her with the baby near the outdoor freezer, authorities said. Witnesses said they found Smith alone in a crawlspace and the 8-month-old in the freezer, which had a closed lid and "about an inch of water in the bottom," the news station reported. The condition of the baby, who was hospitalized, was not immediately known, WJHL reported. Smith was charged with child abuse and neglect, burglary and a probation violation, according to the Washington County Sheriff's Office.
From: Rea Re: MS Office Requirement in school Dear DearWebby, At my daughter's school they are requiring kids to buy or rent Microsoft Office and claim that industry and commerce use MS Office and not "hundreds of different wannabe programs". Obviously she has been bribed by the local MS seller and has no clue about reality. At the place I work, for example, we have used Office Libre for years. It works just fine, and I don't give hiring preferences to people, who are limited to MS Office. I prefer people, who can get the work done and who don't waste time whining about poor Microsoft. What do you think I should do about my daughter? Rea Dear Rea You can make a stink in the local paper. Most likely a lot of parents will feel the same as you. You can also tell your daughter to just save her work in Microsoft format. She can do the work in Libre format and then save it as Microsoft Word and Microsoft Excel, etc. That way she learns in the way industry and commerce works, but to her teacher it looks as if she had paid for Microsoft office. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Dentist to Patient: "Would you help me out? I'd like you to give a few of your loudest screams?" Patient: "Why, Doc? I didn't feel a thing!" Dentist: "I know, but there are so many people in the waiting room right now and I don't want to miss the five o'clock foot- ball game."
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My friend, an ex-Marine Aviator wanted to show off his new twin-engine plane. I was riding along as he put it through its paces. Suddenly, we were caught in a violent thunderstorm, with lightning crashing all around us. Next, we lost the radio and most of the instruments. As we were being tossed around in the sky, George said, "Uh-oh!" Fearing the worst, I asked, "What's wrong now?" George replied, "I got the hiccups. Do something to scare me." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Saucer Decoupage Picture Frame If you any have saucers without a cup, you can cut a family picture to fit in the center of the saucer. Glue the picture to the saucer and decorate around the picture. Let it dry and then give it a coating of decoupage. Let that dry and apply a second coating. Thriftyfun.com Cheap spar varnish, the type of varnish that is mopped onto hardwood decks of boats, will work fine too. It is not quite as clear as expensive decoupage, but extremely durable. Have FUN! DearWebby ____________________________________________________
These wire sculptures are amazing!
___________________________________________________ Thanks to Scorpio for this story: Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed. He shoots his friend and kills him. Wife says : 'If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends'. ___________________________________________________ They do it differently in Scottland! Angus McKenzie comes home and finds his wife in bed with his friend. He shoots his wife. Later, at the pub, his friends ask him why he did that. His reply was, "I can budget one bullet, but I got a lot more friends than I want to buy bullets for." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Grammar Teacher: "Do you know the importance of a period?" Little Johnny: "Yeah, once my sister said she had missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack, the preacher ran off to a mission in Africa and the neighbor's wife shot him." ___________________________________________________
 Today January 16 in 1547 Ivan the Terrible was crowned Czar of Russia. 1572 The Duke of Norfolk was tried for treason for complicity in the Ridolfi plot to restore Catholicism in England. He was executed on June 2. 1809 The British defeated the French at the Battle of Corunna, in the Peninsular War. 1866 Mr. Everett Barney patented the metal screw, clamp skate. 1896 The first five-player college basketball game was played at Iowa City, IA. 1900 The U.S. Senate consented to the Anglo-German treaty of 1899, by which the U.K. renounced rights to the Samoan islands. 1919 The 18th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, which prohibited the sale or transportation of alcoholic beverages, was ratified. It was later repealed by the 21st Amendment. 1920 Prohibition went into effect in the U.S. 1925 Leon Trotsky was dismissed as Chairman of the Revolutionary Council of the USSR. 1944 General Dwight D. Eisenhower took command of the Allied invasion force in London. z 1970 Colonel Muammar el-Quaddafi became virtual president of Libya. 1970 Buckminster Fuller, the designer of the geodesic dome, was awarded the Gold Medal of the American Institute of Architects. Millions of hippies built a dome and came to the conclusion that it was interesting, but rather useless. 1979 The Shah of Iran and his family fled Iran for Egypt. 1982 Britain and the Vatican resumed full diplomatic relations after a break of over 400 years. 1985 "Playboy" magazine announced its 30-year tradition of stapling centerfold models in the bellybutton and elsewhere would come to an immediate end. 1988 Jimmy "The Greek" Snyder was fired as a CBS sports commentator one day after telling a TV station in Washington, DC, that, during the era of slavery, blacks had been bred to produce stronger offspring. 1998 Researchers announce that an altered gene helped to defend against HIV. 1991 The White House announced the start of Operation Desert Storm. The operation was designed to drive Iraqi forces out of Kuwait. 1992 Officials of the government of El Salvador and rebel leaders signed a pact in Mexico City ending 12 years of civil war. At least 75,000 people were killed during the fighting. 1998 The first woman to enroll at Virginia Military Institute withdrew from the school. 1998 NASA officially announced that John Glenn would fly aboard the space shuttle Discovery in October. 1998 It was announced that Texas would receive $15.3 billion in a tobacco industry settlement. The payouts were planned to take place over 25 years. 1998 Three federal judges secretly granted Kenneth Starr authority to probe whether U.S. President Clinton or Vernon Jordan urged Monica Lewinsky to lie about her relationship with Clinton. 2002 U.S. Attorney General John Ashcroft announced that John Walker Lindh would be brought to the United States to face trial. He was charged in U.S. District Court in Alexandria, VA, with conspiracy to kill U.S. citizens, providing support to terrorist organizations, and engaging in prohibited transactions with the Taliban of Afghanistan. 2002 The U.N. Security Council unanimously adopted sanctions against Osama bin Laden, his terror network and the remnants of the Taliban. The sanctions required that all nations impose arms embargoes and freeze their finances. 2009 The iTunes Music Store reached 500 million applications downloaded. 2018 Do smiled. 

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