Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, October 26 ___________________________________________________ International Bonehead Award 10 drug-induced robberies tied to Wisconsin women arrested in River North _____________________________________________________ Today, October 26 in 2002 Russian authorities pumped a gas into a theater where separatist rebels held over 800 hostages. The gas killed 116 hostages and all 50 hostage-takers were killed by the gas or gunshot wounds. _____________________________________________________ There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot. --- Steven Wright (1955 - ) When I was sixteen years old I thought my father was the stupidest person in the world. When I was eighteen years I was amazed what he had learned in two years. --- Mark Twain _____________________________________________________ A "stupidest lawsuit in the world," bonehead award goes to Ernst Walter Stummer, an Austrian criminal, who has spent, so far, 30 years in prison for 19 different crimes, who is now suing the state claiming they should pay him a pension for all the years he spent in jail as a career criminal. _____________________________________________________ Badulla, Sri Lanka ___________________________________________________ Frantic Woman on phone: "Doctor, my Son just swallowed a nickel, and he's coughing up dimes. What do I do?!?" Doctor: "Keep feeding him Nickels!!!" ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Tiana Trammell, Tjwana Rainey, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA 10 drug-induced robberies tied to Wisconsin women arrested in River North Since January, Tiana Trammell and Tjwana Rainey ran a "simple" scheme that involved meeting men in bars and leading them each to another location, Cook County prosecutors said in a proffer prepared for court. Once secluded, the pair would hand a bottle of liquor to the man, who would then "black out" and wake up on the side of a road missing his cellphone, wallet, credit cards and jewelry, prosecutors said. In other cases, the pair allegedly went home with a man and took his valuables after he passed out. The missing cards were later used at ATMs and department stores in the Milwaukee, Wisconsin, metro area, prosecutors said. The losses allegedly exceeded $85,000. The pair were arrested early Sunday in River North after they allegedly drugged a 27-year-old in the 400 block of North LaSalle Drive, according to Chicago police. He allegedly woke up behind one of the women's car and was missing his personal property. Trammell, 25, and Rainey, 32, face a felony count each of continuing a financial criminal enterprise and possession of a controlled substance. Prosecutors did not detail where the other alleged incidents happened, or what substance they allegedly used in addition to the alcohol. A judge Tuesday ordered Trammell held on a $55,000 bail and denied her permission to travel if able to post bond. Rainey was ordered held on $45,000 bail. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Irene RE: Multiple browsers Dear Webby, Can I use more tan one browser at a time? I don't want a new link to obliterate one I am reading. Thanks Irene Dear Irene You can open a fresh window of the active broser by holding down SHIFT while you click on a link. However, if you want to compare different browsers, for example Chrome and FireFox, just open the other one. It will whine about not being the default. Ignore that and just paste the URL into the URL bar on top. Usually they perform about the same. Have FUN! DearWebby | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ Three old pilots are walking on the ramp. First one says, "Windy, isn't it?" Second one says, "No, its Thursday!" Third one says, "So am I. Lets go get a beer." ____________________________________________ These came to me as actual statements from Microsoft managers. "What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will encounter." "How long is this Beta guy going to keep testing our stuff?" "Email is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business." "Turnover is good for the company, as it proves that we are doing a good job in training people." "This project is so important, we can't let things that are more important interfere with it." "Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule." "No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've been working on it for months. Now, go act busy for a few weeks and I'll let you know when it's time to tell them." "As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards in two weeks." ____________________________________________ >From Eddie It's my wife's birthday tomorrow. Last week I asked her what she wanted as a present. "Oh, I don't know," she said. "Just give me something with diamonds." That's why I'm giving her a pack of playing cards. -------- Eddie has been missing since. ____________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today October 26 in 1825 The Erie Canal opened in upstate New York. The 363-mile canal connected Lake Erie and the Hudson River at a cost of $7,602,000. 1854 Charles William Post was born. He was the inventor of "Grape Nuts," "Postum" and "Post Toasties." 1858 H.E. Smith patented the rotary-motion washing machine. 1881 The "Gunfight at the OK Corral" took place in Tombstone, AZ. The fight was between Wyatt Earp, his two brothers and Doc Holiday and the Ike Clanton Gang. 1905 Norway gained independence from Sweden. 1942 The U.S. ship Hornet was sunk in the Battle of Santa Cruz during World War II. 1944 During World War II, the Battle of Leyte Gulf ended. The battle was won by American forces and brought the end of the Pacific phase of World War II into sight. 1949 U.S. President Harry Truman raised the minimum wage from 40 to 75 cents an hour. 1958 Pan American Airways flew its first Boeing 707 jetliner from New York City to Paris. 1962 The Soviet Union made an offer to end the Cuban Missile Crisis by taking their missile bases out of Cuba if the U.S. agreed to not invade Cuba and would remove Jupiter missiles in Turkey. 1967 The Shah of Iran crowned himself and his Queen after 26 years on the Peacock Throne. 1972 U.S. National security adviser Henry Kissinger declared, "Peace is at hand" in Vietnam. 1975 Anwar Sadat became the first Egyptian president to officially visit to the United States. 1977 The experimental space shuttle Enterprise successfully landed at Edwards Air Force Base in California. 1979 South Korean President Park Chung-hee was shot to death by Kim Jae-kyu, the head of the Korean Central Intelligence Agency. 1980 Israeli President Yitzhak Navon became the first Israeli head of state to visit Egypt. 1984 "Baby Fae" was given the heart of baboon after being born with a severe heart defect. She lived for 21 days with the animal heart. 1985 Approximately 110,000 people marched past the U.S. and Soviet embassies in London to pressure the two countries to end their arms race. 1988 Roussel Uclaf, a French pharmaceutical company, announced it was halting the worldwide distribution of RU-486. The pill is used to induce abortions. The French government made the company reverse itself two days later. 1988 Two whales were freed by Soviet and American icebreakers. The whales had been trapped for nearly 3 weeks in an Arctic ice pack. 1990 The U.S. State Department issued a warning that terrorists could be planning an attack on a passenger ship or aircraft. 1990 Wayne Gretzky became the first NHL player to reach 2,000 points. 1991 Former Washington Mayor Marion Barry arrived at a federal correctional institution in Petersburg, VA, to begin serving a six- month sentence for cocaine possession. 1992 General Motors Corp. Chairman Robert Stempel resigned after the company recorded its highest losses in history. 1992 In Canada, voters rejected the Charlottetown accord, which was designed to unify the country. 1993 Deborah Gore Dean was convicted of 12 felony counts of defrauding the U.S. government and lying to the U.S. Congress. Dean was a central figure in the Reagan-era HUD scandal. 1994 Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin of Israel and Prime Minister Abdel Salam Majali of Jordan signed a peace treaty. 1995 Mario Lemieux (Pittsburgh Penguins) scored his 500th National Hockey League (NHL) career goal against the New York Islanders in his 605th game. He became the second-fastest player to attain the plateau. Wayne Gretzky had reached 600 goals by his 575th NHL game. 1996 Federal prosecutors cleared Richard Jewell as a suspect in the Olympic park bombing. 1998 A French lab found a nerve agent on an Iraqi missile warhead. 2001 It was announced that Fort Worth's Lockheed Martin won a defense contract for $200 billion over 40 years. The contract, for the "joint strike fighter," was the largest defense contract in history. 2002 Russian authorities pumped a gas into a theater where separatist rebels held over 800 hostages. The gas killed 116 hostages and all 50 hostage-takers were killed by the gas or gunshot wounds. 2020 Do smiled. |
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