Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, November 11 Happy Remembrance Day/Veterans Day/Armistice Day! ___________________________________________________ International Bonehead Award Naked Woman Busted Again For Lewd Activity _____________________________________________________ Today, November 10 in 1918 World War I came to an end when the Allies and Germany signed an armistice. This day became recognized as Veteran's Day in the United States. _____________________________________________________ The Flower of Patience. It opens every 7 years and lasts 7 days. ___________________________________________________ PROCRASTINATOR'S CREED NOTICE: You may wish to delay reading this until you have more free time. 1. I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already. 2. I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses. 3. I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration. 4. I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them. 5. I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations. 6. I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given. 7. If at first I don't succeed, there is always next year. 8. I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind. 9. I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when I get around to it. 10. I will never put off until tomorrow, what I can forget about forever. __________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Vanessa Lee Jones, 38, St. Petersburg, Floriduh, USA Naked Woman Busted Again For Lewd Activity For the second time in recent weeks, a Florida Woman has been arrested for pleasuring herself in public, this time outside a Popeyes at 10 AM, according to court records. Vanessa Lee Jones, 38, was collared Saturday morning after a witness reported spotting her masturbating near a dumpster outside the chicken joint in St. Petersburg. Jones, seen at right, was fully nude at the time. When police responded to the scene, officers âalso witnessed the defendant masturbating in front of the dumpster completely naked.â Jones, investigators added, was âobserved on security cameras masturbating while fully naked.â Pictured at right, Jones was arrested for exposure of sexual organs, a misdemeanor. She is being held in the county jail in lieu of $150 bond. In an arrest affidavit, St. Petersburg police noted that Jones showed no indications of drug or alcohol influence, and no indication of mental health issues. In police and court records, Jones is alternately listed as homeless and a resident of a rental property in New Port Richey, a city in the Tampa-St. Petersburg area. Jones was arrested on September 30 after allegedly exposing herself and masturbating in front of a 7-Eleven in St. Petersburg. Jones was charged with lewd and lascivious exhibition since she allegedly âcontinuously rubbed her vaginaâ in view of a minor who was accompanied by a male relative who recorded the 11 AM incident. Jones remained behind bars until October 28, when she was freed after prosecutors declined to pursue the felony case. The 7-Eleven is a couple of blocks from the Popeyes restaurant (seen below) where Jones was arrested Saturday morning. According to court records, Jonesâs rap sheet includes convictions for theft, possession of drug equipment, trespassing, and possession of synthetic marijuana. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Anthony RE: Name on top Dear Webby, Hi, webby, just a question, I signed up a long time ago, and really enjoy your daily jokes, it never fails to bring a smile, and occasionally even a laugh...my question is this, could you upgrade my subscription so that my name is displayed at the top...My name is Anthony, and while I do appreciate the fact that even though we have never met we can still be friends, I like to be on a first name basis with my friends.... by the way, what is your name??? thanks for your help.... AC Dear Anthony I gladly and cheerfully updated your subscription. The way I set it up, a CC of every subscription welcome notice comes me, so that I have an idea how many got added every day. It always makes me sad when I see that somebody has subscribed but was too lazy to put their first name or nickname in. Re my name, I have been called DearWebby for so many years, that it is strange to hear any other name. On my driver's license it says Helmut Have FUN! DearWebby | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ At a boat-rental concession, the manager went to the lake's edge and yelled through his megaphone, "Number 99, come in, please. Your time is up." Several minutes passed, but the boat didn't return. "Boat number 99," he again hollered, "return to the dock immediately or I'll have to charge you overtime." "Something is wrong here, boss," his assistant said. "We only have 75 boats. There is no number 99." The manager thought for a moment and then raised his mega- phone: "Boat number 66," he yelled. "Are you having trouble out there?" ____________________________________________ Now that they are retired, my mother and father are discussing all aspects of their future. "What will you do if I die before you do?" Dad asked Mom. After some thought, she said that she'd probably look for a house-sharing situation with three other single or widowed women who might be a little younger than herself, since she is so active for her age. Then Mom asked Dad, "What will you do if I pass first?" He replied, "Probably the same thing." ____________________________________________ Husband : Shall we try a new positon tonight? Wife : Sure. You stand by the ironing board and I'll sit on the couch and drink beer and fart! ____________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today November 11 in 1620 The Mayflower Compact was signed by the 41 men on the Mayflower when they landed in what is now Provincetown Harbor near Cape Cod. The compact called for "just and equal laws." 1831 Nat Turner, a slave and educated minister, was hanged in Jerusalem, VA, after inciting a violent slave uprising. 1851 The telescope was patented by Alvan Clark. 1880 Australian outlaw and bank robber Ned Kelly was hanged at the Melbourne jail at age 25. 1887 Labor Activists were hanged in Illinois after being convicted of being connected to a bombing that killed eight police officers. 1918 World War I came to an end when the Allies and Germany signed an armistice. This day became recognized as Veteran's Day in the United States. 1918 Poland was reestablished shortly after the surrender of Germany. 1920 The body of an unknown British soldier was buried in Westminster Abbey. The service was recorded with the first electronic recording process developed by Lionel Guest and H.O. Merriman. 1921 The Tomb of the Unknowns was dedicated at Arlington Cemetery in Virginia by U.S. President Harding. 1940 The Jeep made its debut. 1942 During World War II, Germany completed its occupation of France. 1952 The first video recorder was demonstrated by John Mullin and Wayne Johnson in Beverly Hills, CA. 1965 The government of Rhodesia declared its independence from Britain. The country later became known as Zimbabwe. 1966 The U.S. launched Gemini 12 from Cape Kennedy, FL. The craft circled the Earth 59 times before returning. 1972 The U.S. Army turned over its base at Long Bihn to the South Vietnamese army. The event symbolized the end of direct involvement in the Vietnam War by the U.S. military. 1975 Civil war broke out when Angola gained independence from Portugal. 1981 Stuntman Dan Goodwin scaled the outside of the 100-story John Hancock Center in Chicago in about six hours. 1981 The U.S.S. Ohio was commissioned at the Electric Boat Division in Groton, CT. It was the first Trident class submarine. 1984 U.S. President Ronald Reagan accepted the Vietnam Veterans Memorial as a gift to the nation from the Vietnam Veterans Memorial Fund. 1984 Gary Coleman, at age 13, underwent his second kidney transplant in Los Angeles. He had his first transplant at age 5. 1986 Sperry Rand and Burroughs merged to form "Unisys," becoming the second largest computer company. 1987 Vincent Van Gogh's "Irises" was sold for a then record 53.9 million dollars in New York. 1988 Police in Sacramento, CA, found the first of seven bodies buried on the grounds of a boardinghouse. Dorothea Puente was later charged in the deaths of nine people, convicted of three murders and sentenced to life in prison. 1991 The U.S. stationed its first diplomat in Cambodia in 16 years to help the nation arrange democratic elections. 1992 Russian President Boris Yeltsin told U.S. senators in a letter that Americans had been held in prison camps after World War II. Some were "summarily executed," but others were still living in his country voluntarily. 1992 The Church of England voted to ordain women as priests. 1993 In Washington, DC, the Vietnam Women's Memorial was dedicated to honor the more than 11,000 women who had served in the Vietnam War. 1994 In Gaza, a suicide bomber detonated his explosives at an Israeli military checkpoint killing three soldiers. 1996 The Vietnam Veterans Memorial Fund unveiled "The Wall That Heals." The work was a half-scale replica of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial that would tour communities throughout the United States. 1997 The Eastman Kodak Company announced that they were laying off 10,000 employees. 1998 Jay Cochrane set a record for the longest blindfolded skywalk. He walked on a tightrope between the towers of the Flamingo Hilton in Las Vegas, NV. The towers are 600 feet apart. 1998 Israel's Cabinet ratified a land-for-peace agreement with the Palestinians. 2002 Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates pledged $100 million to fight AIDS in India. 2020 Do smiled. |
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