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Todays Bonehead Award: Ohio day dare employee admits she raped four children while working at the center on orders of her convicted sex offender fiance. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 9, in 1808 The leather-splitting machine was patented by Samuel Parker. More of what happened on this day in history. | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | | | |
______________________________________________________ All human beings should try to learn before they die what they are running from, and to, and why. --- James Thurber ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Early one evening a gentleman scuttled out to his garage and pulled the lawn furniture out onto the driveway. Shortly after followed the lawnmower, a few gardening tools and a bicycle. A curious neighbor wandered over and asked if he was going to have a garage sale. "No," replied the gentleman, "my son just bought his first car and right now he's getting ready for a big date." "So what's with all the stuff?" asked the neighbor. "Well, after years of moving tricycles, toys and sports equipment out of the way every time I came home from work I wanted to make sure the driveway was ready for him." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | | | |
The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving a test. Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?" A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered, "A basketball coach?" ______________________________________________________ A young boy was kneeling by his bed and saying his prayers and asked God to make him a good boy. The boy's father, passing by the bedroom, overheard his son praying, "And make me a good boy, if You can. And if You can't, don't worry about it, 'cause I'm having a lot of fun being a brat anyway." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Lillemor for this picture from Sweden: ______________________________________________________ If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! ______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Ohio day dare employee admits she raped four children while working at the center on orders of her convicted sex offender fiance. Heather Koon, 27, Eyria, Ohio James Osborne, 37 in jail A former day care employee has admitted to raping four children while at work to obey the orders of her fiance, a convicted sex offender. Heather Koon, 27, pleaded guilty to four counts of rape Thursday in Elyria, Ohio, according to the Chronicle- Telegram. Her fiance James Osborne, 37, who is currently serving an eight-year prison sentence on previous child pornography charges, also pleaded guilty in this case. Koon raped four children while working at the ABC Kidz Child Care center in Elyria in March and April 2013. Police arrested Koon in September 2013 at her home in Elyria, where Osborne lived while on probation on an earlier child pornography case. He pleaded guilty in 2010 to having sexually explicit photos of children on a computer he took to a repair shop in 2007, the Chronicle-Telegram reported. Officers seized a phone and a laptop at Koon's home in 2013 and on the phone found footage and pictures of her abusing children at the day care center. Osborne told her what he wanted her to do to the children using his own phone, prosecutors have said. Koon worked at ABC Kidz Child Care in Elyria for seven months until March 2013 and later took a position at Country Day School in Amherst. She is accused of raping four children at ABC Kidz Child Care and taking explicit photos of children in both locations, the Chronicle-Telegram wrote. Koon pleaded guilty Thursday to four counts of rape, kidnapping and pandering obscenity involving a minor. She also admitted to three counts of illegal use of a minor in nudity-oriented material, one count of tampering with evidence and one count of engaging in a pattern of corrupt activity. Meanwhile Osborne, who is serving an eight-year prison sentence in the earlier child pornography case, pleaded guilty to four counts of complicity to rape, complicity to kidnapping and pandering obscenity involving a minor. He also admitted to engaging in a pattern of corrupt activity, failure to register as a sex offender and three counts of illegal use of a minor in nudity-oriented material. Koon abused six children in the case, according to prosecutors. Her attorney said Thursday Koon felt 'compelled' to abuse the children but had 'a lot of remorse' for what she did. The mother of a girl who was three years old when Koon took explicit pictures of her said: 'She doesn't trust adults at all.' A father, whose daughter was two when Koon abused her, told the Chronicle-Telegram: 'Hopefully they get nothing less than life. 'I never realized creatures like this exist.' Koon and Osborne face 15 years to life in prison, and could be sentenced to life without parole if a judge finds them to be sexually violent predators, which in Ohio means people who have committed a sexually violent offense and are deemed likely to commit more offenses in the future. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Donna RE: New domain accessibility Dear Webby, >From work I could get to the new domain that I ordered from you in less than two hours after I ordered it last week. >From home I still can't get to it. At work we have DSL, at home I only have dial-up. Does it really take that much longer to resolve on dial-up ? Donna Dear Donna Dial-up has nothing to do with that. If you had DSL from the same ISP that you use for dial-up, you would not get to your new domain either. The difference is the different ISPs. Obviously your company selected a good one for the office, and apparently you selected a different one for your home connection. Some ISP's update their DNS, the Internet road map, three or four times per hour, some do it once a day, some do it once a week, and some, like Apathico, do it whenever they see a customer with a rolling pin or baseball bat. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Groan Alert ! A man went to see his eye doctor, who told him he had a case of myopera and would have to wear contract lenses. That's a lot better than his friend, who had had a cadillac removed. Still, when he worked at his computer, he would have to watch out for harbor tunnel syndrome. He worried that his authoritis of the joints might be a signal of Old Timer's disease and fretted that a genital heart defect was causing trouble with his duodemon. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Remedies for a Stuffy Nose You need either a neti pot or saline drops, both will help. You can get both at Walmart. By anna My mother taught me this when I was little and had a very stuffy nose: Just take a cloth and wet it with hot or warm water. The hotter the better! Then just hold it up to your nose and breathe in deeply. You should start to feel you nose "un-stuffing". This will not work all day. You may have to repeat this 2-6 times per day. (05/22/2007) By Megan ______________________________________________________ Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________ Thanks to Roland for this one: Fifty-one years ago Herman James, a West Virginia Mountain man was drafted by the Army. On his first day in boot camp, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair. On his second day, the Army issued him a tooth brush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth. On his third day the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army still has him listed as AWOL (Absent Without Official Leave-permission). ___________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ Trisha came running into the house after summer school one day, shouting, "Daddy! Daddy! I got 100 in school today!" "That's great, Sweetheart," said her daddy. "Come in the living room and tell me about it." "Well," began the confession, "I got 50 in spelling, 30 in math, and 20 in science." ____________________________________________________ A priest and a rabbi operated a church and a synagogue across the street from each other. Since their schedules intertwined, they decided to go in together to buy a car. After the purchase, they drove it home and parked it on the street between them. A few minutes later, the rabbi looked out and saw the priest sprinkling water on their new car. It didn't need a wash, so he hurried out and asked the priest what he was doing. "I'm blessing it," the priest replied. The rabbi considered this a moment, then went back inside the synagogue. He reappeared a moment later with a hacksaw, walked over to the back of the car and cut off two inches of the muffler. ____________________________________________________ | | This hand face art is so weird. |
| Today on July 9 0118 Hadrian, Rome's new emperor, made his entry into the city. 0455 Avitus, the Roman military commander in Gaul, became Emperor of the West. 1540 England's King Henry VIII had his 6-month-old marriage to his fourth wife, Anne of Cleves, annulled. 1609 In a letter to the crown, the emperor Rudolf II granted Bohemia freedom of worship. 1790 The Swedish navy captured one third of the Russian fleet at the naval battle of Svensksund in the Baltic Sea. 1808 The leather-splitting machine was patented by Samuel Parker. 1816 Argentina declared independence from Spain. 1872 The doughnut cutter was patented by John F. Blondel. 1877 Alexander Graham Bell, Gardiner Greene Hubbard, Thomas Sanders and Thomas Watson formed the Bell Telephone Company. 1878 The corncob pipe was patented by Henry Tibbe. 1943 American and British forces made an amphibious landing on Sicily. 1947 The engagement of Britain's Princess Elizabeth to Lt. Philip Mountbatten was announced. 1951 U.S. President Truman asked Congress to formally end the state of war between the United States and Germany. 1971 The United States turned over complete responsibility of the Demilitarized Zone to South Vietnamese units. 1997 Mike Tyson was banned from the boxing ring and fined $3 million for biting the ear of opponent Evander Holyfield. 2005 Danny Way, a daredevil skateboarder, rolled down a large ramp and jumped across the Great Wall of China. 2016 Do smiled. |
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