Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, November 1 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award: Social media star arrested after high-speed chase ___________________________________________________ Today, November 1 in 1989 Tens of thousands of refugees fled to the West when East Germany reopened its border with Czechoslovakia. ____________________________________________________ It's not the voting that's democracy, it's the counting. --- Tom Stoppard (1937 - ) Democracy is 31 kids outvoting the teacher and deciding that playing in mud puddles has priority over learning to read and write. --- Socratex ____________________________________________________ "What do you love most about me," a husband asked his wife, "my tremendous athletic ability or my superior intellect?" "What I love most about you," responded the man's wife, "is your incredible sense of humor." ____________________________________________________ Delinquents swaggering on gopher patrol ____________________________________________________ Linda and Marion were comparing notes on the difficulties of running a small business. "I started a new practice last year," Linda said. "I insist that each of my employees take at least a week off every three months." "Why in the world would you do that?" Marion asked. "It's the best way I know of to learn which ones I can do without," Linda said. ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Damaury Mikula, 18, Odessa, Florida, USA Social media star arrested after high-speed chase Damaury Mikula, who claims to make $400,000-$500,000 a year via social media, was arrested Friday after troopers say he ran a red light and led them on a chase going more than 100 miles per hour in Pasco County. Troopers arrested social media personality Damaury Mikula, 18, on Friday after they say he ran a red light and led the Florida Highway Patrol on a high-speed chase of more than 100 miles per hour. According to FHP, Mikula started doing a "burnout" and smoking the tires of a Dodge Challenger next to a patrol car stopped at the intersection of State Road 54 at Sunlake Blvd, in Pasco County around 10:30 a.m. Troopers say Mikula then ran a red light and sped off. According to FHP, Mikula, who claims to make $400,000- $500,000 via social media, did not pull over when the trooper activated his lights and siren and continued speeding as he pulled into a residential area off Ballantrae Blvd. near State Road 54. The trooper identified Mikula as the cars driver and went to his house. Mikula answered the door and was arrested. Mikula told troopers the Dodge Challenger was parked in the garage and gave permission for the vehicle to be towed, according to FHP. While en route to jail, and after being read his Miranda rights, troopers say Mikula told them he was the only person in the car and knew the trooper was trying to pull him over, but thought it would be okay to speed away if he got away with it. Mikula told troopers in his mind he is young, makes a lot of money, has a fast car and he can do whatever he wants. Troopers say he later admitted that was a foolish way of thinking and not a good way to live. Mikula added that he wanted to do something fun for three seconds and it cost him. Troopers say Mikula also told them that his plan was to get onto the expressway to outrun the patrol vehicle, but thought he may get in more trouble. Mikula was taken to the Pasco County Jail without incident. The troopers were very disappointed that they did not get a fun high speed chase with six cop cars and a helicopter and a few PIT maneuvres. This time. But Mikula is still young. ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ From: Frankie Re: No Complaint Dear Webby, I have been a subscriber since the early 90s, and I have never seen any advice you gave, that could have led to pregnancy. Let her complain! All of us back you up 100%. So there! Frankie Dear Frankie! Thank you! Have FUN! DearWebby | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ A Jewish lady goes into a furniture store owned by a Jewish man. She picks out a lamp she likes and brings it to the counter. She finds out the price is $69.95 and says, "Oy, down the street at Goldstein's these are only $49.95!" The owner asks why she doesn't buy it from Goldstein's, and she says, "Because they just ran out of them." The owner throws up his hands and says, "Ha! When I'm out of them, they're only $29.95! ______________________________________________ A little town in southern Illinois had a sensational birth rate, and scientists decided to visit the place and find out the cause. So the sociologists, anthropologists, birth control specialists and other concerned scientists moved to the town prepared to do a six- month study of the causes of the town's high birth rate. The day the research testing and all was to begin, the director of the million-dollar project stopped off at the single cafe in town and ordered coffee. When the waiter delivered his drink, the scientist detained him for a moment and asked, "Can you give me an idea was to why your town, above all others in this country, has such a high birth rate?" The waiter thought a moment, then said, "I think I can. You see, every morning at 4:00, the C&A Railroad comes through town and blows its whistle at all three street crossings. That wakes up the folks here and, as you can guess, it's too late to go back to sleep and too early to get up." ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
An IRS agent goes into a synagogue looking for the rabbi. "Rabbi", he says when he sees him," do you know a Mr. Morris Katz?" "Yes, I do," says the rabbi. "Is he a member of your congregation?" asks the agent. "Yes, he is,"says the rabbi. "Did he make the $100,000 donation to the synagogue, that he claims on his tax return?" asks the IRS agent. "I can assure you that he will!" says the rabbi. ___________________________________________________ | Today, November 1, in 1512 Michelangelo's paintings on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel were first exhibited to the public. 1604 "Othello," the tragedy by William Shakespeare, was first presented at Whitehall Palace in London. 1611 "The Tempest," Shakespeare's romantic comedy, was first presented at Whitehall Palace in London. 1755 At least 60,000 people were killed in Lisbon, Portugal by an earthquake, its aftershocks and the ensuing tsunami. 1765 The British Parliament enacted The Stamp Act in the American colonies. The act was repealed in March of 1766 on the same day that the Parliament passed the Declaratory Acts which asserted that the British government had free and total legislative power of the colonies. That did not go over well either. 1800 U.S. President John Adams became the first president to live in the White House when he moved in. 1848 The first medical school for women, founded by Samuel Gregory, opened in Boston, MA. The Boston Female Medical School later merged with Boston University School of Medicine. 1861 Gen. George B. McClellan was made the general-in-chief of the American Union armies. 1864 The U.S. Post Office started selling money orders. The money orders provided a safe way to send payments by mail. 1870 The U.S. Weather Bureau made its first meteorological observations using 24 locations that provided reports via telegraph. 1879 Thomas Edison executed his first patent application for a high-resistance carbon filament (U.S. Pat. 223,898). 1894 "Billboard Advertising" was published for the first time. It later became known as "Billboard." 1894 Russian Emperor Alexander III died. 1904 The Army War College in Washington, DC, enrolled the first class. 1911 Italy used planes to drop bombs on the Tanguira oasis in Libya. It was the first aerial bombing. 1936 Benito Mussolini made a speech in Milan, Italy, in which he described the alliance between Italy and Nazi Germany as an "axis" running between Berlin and Rome. 1940 "A Night in the Tropics" was released. It was the first movie for Abbott and Costello. 1949 In Washington, 55 people were killed when a fighter plane hit an airliner. 1950 Two Puerto Rican nationalists tried to assassinate U.S. President Harry Truman. One of the men was killed when they tried to force their way into Blair House in Washington, DC. 1952 The United States exploded the first hydrogen bomb on Eniwetok Atoll in the Marshall Islands. 1954 Algeria began to rebel against French rule. 1959 Jacques Plante, of the Montreal Canadiens, became the first goalie in the NHL to wear a mask. 1963 The USSR launched Polyot I. It was the first satellite capable of maneuvering in all directions and able to change its orbit. 1968 The movie rating system of G, M, R, X, followed by PG- 13 and NC-17 went into effect. 1979 Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini urged all Iranians to demonstrate on November 4 and to expand their attacks against the U.S. and Israel. On November 4, Iranian militants seized the U.S. embassy in Tehran and took 63 Americans hostage. 1985 In the village of Ignacio Aldama, 22 members of a Mexican anti-narcotics squad were killed by alleged drug traffickers. 1987 Deng Xiaoping retired from China's Communist Party's Central Committee. 1989 Tens of thousands of refugees fled to the West when East Germany reopened its border with Czechoslovakia. 1989 Nicaraguan President Daniel Ortega announced the end of a cease-fire with the Contra rebels. 1993 The European Community's treaty on European unity took effect. 1994 The Amazon.com domain name was registered. 1995 In Dayton, OH, the Bosnian peace talks opened with the leaders of Bosnia, Serbia and Croatia present. 1998 Nicaraguan Vice President Enrique Bolanos announced that between 1,000 and 1,500 people were buried in a 32- square mile area below the slopes of the Casita volcano in northern Nicaragua by a mudslide caused by Hurricane Mitch. 1998 Iridium inaugurated the first handheld, global satellite phone and paging system. 2021 Do smiled. |
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