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| Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, October 8 If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and visualize world peace for an hour, imagine how serene and quiet it would be until the looting started. Don't try that in "You loot, we shoot!" Florida. Even Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd announced that Floridians have a right to protect their homes, even if the houses have been damaged by the hurricane. Sheriff Grady Judd is the one who nailed a looter, who had shot a deputy and a K9 officer, with 86 bullets. When a reporter asked him "Why 86 high caliber bullets?" he became quite famous for saying "Because that was all the bullets we had with us." MY HERO! ___________________________________________________ History on this day, october 8, in 1952, "The Complete Book of Etiquette" was published for the first time. ____________________________________________________ international bonehead award Man arrested for attacking father, setting Phoenix home on fire after being told to move out ____________________________________________________ Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else. --- Frederic Bastiat, French Economist(1801-1850) If you want government to intervene domestically, you're a liberal. If you want government to intervene overseas, you're a conservative. If you want government to intervene everywhere, You're a moderate. If you don't want government to intervene anywhere, you're an extremist. --- Joseph Sobran, former Editor of the National Review The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery. --- Winston Churchill ___________________________________________________ Moshe was crossing the street in Miami when he was hit by a bus and knocked unconscious. A Catholic Priest arrived about the same time the paramedics got there. Not knowing his religion, the Priest administered last rites, following which Moshe's eyes fluttered and he was fully awake. The Priest told him about the last rites. Moshe said, "Well, a little change doesn't hurt". He couldn't wait to get home to tell his family about his experience. When he got there he said to his wife, "Sadie, you won't believe what happened to your husband today." She said, "Moshe, I don't have time. I am late for a Hadassah meeting. Your T.V. dinner is in the oven. See you later." Moshe then went to his daughter's room and said, "Darling, you should hear what happened to your Father today." She said, "Daddy, I am on the phone with a friend planning a wedding shower. Please close the door." Moshe then went to look for his son who was just backing the car out of the driveway. "Son, let me tell you what happened today. The son said, "Dad, I am late for a date. I need the car and $100." So Moshe went back in the house, shook his head and said. "Here I am, a gentile for only two hours and already I hate three Jews." ____________________________________________________ *Grandpa's Manners* "Grandpa, I'm really proud of you," said the modish young lady. "What's to be proud of?" asked the old man. The young lady replied, "I noticed that when you sneeze, you've learned to put your hand in front of your mouth." "Of course," explained Grandpa. "How else can I catch my teeth???" __________________________________________________ Reported by Rock: An International Bonehead Award has been earned by Nate Rogers, Phoenix, Arizona, usa Man arrested for attacking father, setting Phoenix home on fire after being told to move out A sword-wielding domestic violence suspect was taken into custody in north Phoenix after he barricaded himself inside a home and set it on fire, police said Wednesday. Police visited a home near Cave Creek Road and Tatum Boulevard on a domestic violence call after a man reportedly punched his father in the face. The man, identified as Nate Rogers, had become angry after his parents said they were relocating and that he needed to find a new place to live, according to court documents. Rogers reportedly threatened to "burn the house down" during the 911 call and said he would kill his parents if officers showed up. When officers started surrounding the home, Rogers pointed what was later revealed to be a BB gun at police and allegedly set the home on fire. Court documents stated that the barricade situation came to an end after Roger came out with the gun and a sword in his hands. After he refused to put the weapons down, police shot non-lethal rounds at him and took him into custody. "The victims told officers that the defendant suffered from schizophrenia and was not taking his medications," police said. He was treated for smoke inhalation at the hospital, but has since been released and now faces numerous assault and criminal damage charges. _____________________________________________________ Bill was a frequent user of a pay telephone at a popular truck stop, and was greatly inconvenienced when the phone went out of commission. Repeated requests for repair brought only promises. After several days, Bill again contacted the phone company and told them there was no longer a rush. The phone was now working fine... except that all money was being returned upon completion of each call. A repairman arrived within the hour! _____________________________________________________ Village in Tibet Zakouvic Debbache _________________________________________________ The doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches the bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine, and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles." Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He couldn't concentrate long enough to answer, but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need - a new suit." He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit." The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see...size 44 long." Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!" Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?" Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeve and 16- 1/2 neck." Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!" Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. As Joe adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about new shoes?" Joe was on a roll and said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Joe's feet and said, "Let's see...9-1/2 E." Joe was astonished, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!" Joe tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?" Joe thought for a second and said, "Sure." The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's see...size 36." Joe laughed "Ah ha! I got you! I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old" The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. A 34 underwear would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache." ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ No prince yet! Keep Kissing! ___________________________________________________ What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you. _________________________________________________ Dearwebby's tech support pits From:Andy Re: No floppy slot on W10 laptop Dear Webby I used to do that trick with a floppy, but my W10 laptop does not have a floppy drive slot. Now what? Andy Dear Andy Get a penguin (Linux user) to make you a "Linux on a stick". Set your ccomputer to look for the USB port first when booting up. Linux boots up in a few seconds. You can make a background with your picture and name on it. "There! It's a computer, not a bomb!" You can even buy a "Linux on stick". It is usually very basic and not a full Linux installation, but more than good enough to boot up and show the page background to airport security. Have fun! Dear webby ___________________________________________________ A big executive boarded a New York to Chicago train. He explained to the porter, "I'm a heavy sleeper, but I want you to be sure and wake me up at 3:00 am for the stop in Buffalo. I don't care what I say, you just make sure I get off in Buffalo." The next morning the executive woke up in Chicago. He was furious. He found the porter and really gave him an earful before hustling off to purchase a return ticket. After he left, a co-worker said to the porter, "How can you stand there and let that passenger abuse you like that?" "That's nothing," said the porter. "You should have heard the guy who I put off in Buffalo!" ___________________________________________________ A major electronics company, Siemens, is introducing a tiny necklace cell phone for women. Have you seen this thing? It's on a chain - you wear it around your neck - it hangs down right here to a woman's cleavage. The only problem women have with it; when it rings, every guy in the room yells, 'I'll get it.' _____________________________________________________ ophelia dingbatter's news no sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt- in confirmation request. ____________________________________________________ today, october 8, in 1895, The Berliner Gramophone Company was founded in Philadelphia, PA. 1915, During World War I, the Battle of Loos concluded. 1918, U.S. Corporal Alvin C. York almost single-handedly killed 25 German soldiers and captured 132 in the Argonne Forest in France. York had originally tried to avoid being drafted as a conscientious objector. After this event he was promoted to sergeant and was awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor. 1919, The first transcontinental air race in the U.S. began. 1945, U.S. President Truman announced that only Britain and Canada would be given the secret to the atomic bomb. 1950, U.N. forces crossed into North Korea from South Korea. 1952, "The Complete Book of Etiquette" was published for the first time. 1966, The U.S. Government declared that LSD was dangerous and an illegal substance. 1970, Soviet author Alexander Solzhenitsyn won the Nobel Prize for literature. 1981, U.S. President Reagan greeted former Presidents Carter, Ford and Nixon to the White House. The group was preparing to leave for Egypt to attend the funeral of Anwar Sadat. 1982, In Poland, all labor organizations, including Solidarity, were banned. 1991, A slave burial site was found by construction workers in lower Manhattan. The "Negro Burial Ground" had been closed in 1790. Over a dozen skeletons were found. 1993, The U.S. government issued a report absolving the FBI of any wrongdoing in its final assault in Waco, TX, on the Branch Davidian compound. The fire that ended the siege killed as many as 85 people. 1996, Pope John Paul II underwent a successful operation to remove his inflamed appendix. 1998, Taliban forces attacked Iranian border posts. Iran said that three border posts were destroyed before the Taliban forces were forced to retreat. The Taliban of Afghanistan denied the event occurred. 1998, Canada and Netherlands were voted into the U.N. Security Council. 2001, Tom Ridge, former Governor of Pennsylvania, was sworn in as director of the new U.S. department of Homeland Security. 2001, Two Russian cosmonauts made the first spacewalk to be conducted outside of the international space station without a shuttle present. 2002, A federal judge approved U.S. President George W. Bush's request to reopen West Coast ports, to end a caustic 10-day labor lockout. The lockout was costing the U.S. economy an estimated $1 billion to $2 billion a day. 2003, China announced that it would have a human crew orbit the Earth briefly on October 15. 2003, Vietnam and the United States reached a tentative agreement that would allow the first commercial flights between the two countries since the end of the Vietnam War. 2003, It was announced that Vivendi Universal and General Electric Co. had reached an agreement to merge. The name for the combined company was NBC Universal. 2003, Siegfried Fischbacher and his manager announced that the "Siegfried and Roy" show at the Mirage was canceled permanently. It was also said that if Roy Horn survived, after a tiger attack on October 3, the duo would continue to work together. 2004, The first-ever direct presidential elections were held in Afghanistan. 2022 Do! smiled. |
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