Good Morning, Do, Today is Wednesday, October 25 Have Fun! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Woman accused of stabbing off-duty deputy after setting boyfriend's house ablaze Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, Oct 25 in 1415 In Northern France, England won the Battle of Agincourt over France during the Hundred Years' War. Almost 6000 Frenchmen were killed while fewer than 400 were lost by the English. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ The meek shall inherit the Earth, but not its mineral rights. --- J. Paul Getty (1892 - 1976) Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned. --- Milton Friedman (1912 - 2006) Progress isn't made by early risers. It's made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something. --- Robert Heinlein ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A little girl asked her mother: "Can I go outside and play with the boys?" Her mother replied: "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough." The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked: "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?" _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Dianne for this story: The choir director selected the 6-year-old little boy with the sweetest face for the opening scene of the play. "Now, all you have to do is, when I direct the choir to sing '...and the angel lit the candle', you come on stage and light all the candles." "I can do it - I can do it!" the little boy said, excited to be the one picked. Rehearsals came and went, and finally the big night arrived. The choir was in grand voice, the stage was beautifully decorated with dozens of unlit candles all around, awaiting the moment when the cute littlest angel made his interest. The director gave the downbeat, the orchestra began to play, and the choir swept into the introductory lines, ending with an expectant "...and the angel lit the candle," and everyone looked stage right for the entrance. No little boy. The director gave the downbeat again, and gestured for a louder line, which the choir gave him - "...and the angel lit the candle," and again, all eyes looked stage right. No little boy. The director, beginning to sweat, motioned with great, sweeping gestures, and the choir thundered into the line - the curtains belled slightly from the sound - "...AND THE ANGEL LIT THE CANDLE!" And into the silence which followed came a clear, boy-soprano voice floating piercingly from stage right "...and the cat peed on the matches!" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Brittany Bonin, 26, Edgewater, Florida Woman accused of stabbing off-duty deputy after setting boyfriend's house ablaze A woman accused of stabbing an off-duty Volusia County deputy, who intervened in a fight between her and her boyfriend after she set his house on fire, faced a judge Sunday. Brittany Bonin, 26, was denied bail and faces charges of assault, battery and arson, authorities said. The judge placed Bonin on suicide watch and ordered a mental health evaluation, officials said. Bonin and her boyfriend got into a fight at his house on the 3300 block of Pine Tree Drive Saturday afternoon, officers said. The man ran to the nearby home of Captain Cliff Williams, an off-duty deputy, to seek assistance. After setting the man's house on fire, Bonin followed the man to the deputy's home and tried to attack him, police said. Williams, a 25-year veteran of VCSO and a former Marine, tried to shield the man from Bonin's attack and was stabbed in the process, police said. It just goes to show you are never truly off duty, said Sheriff Mike Chitwood. He took a knife wound that was meant for someone else because his instinct was to step in as a protector. While Bonin faced a judge, her boyfriend's family cleaned up the mess police said she left behind. Deputy Williams was taken to Florida Hospital in New Smyrna Beach with injuries that are not life-threatening, police said. Edgewater Fire Rescue was able to extinguish the home. The structure can be rebuilt, but the interior is a total loss. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Daniel Re: No tools in spybot Dear Webby, in my copy of " spybot-search & destroy " there is no "tools" listed. is there a newer version available? daniel Dear Daniel Switch to advanced mode, then you see the tools in the left bottom. Have FUN! DearWebby A man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her breasts in the mirror. He asks, "What are you doing?" She replies, "I went to the doctor today, and he told me I have the breasts of a 25 year old." The husband retorts, "Well, what did he say about your 50 year old ass?" She replied, "Frankly dear, your name never came up." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Light Bulb Vase By advaym [22 Posts, 4 Comments] Total Time: 10 minutes Supplies: 1 old lightbulb pliers any screwdriver thread safety goggles gloves Steps: First wear your goggles, safety is paramount. Hold the bulb tightly wearing gloves or wrap the bulb in cardboard and hold it. Take the pliers and pull out those small knobs at the base of the bulb. This type of bulb base is called a bayonet base. They should come out nicely, but with a little force. Then using your pliers pull out the silver soldering at the base of the bulb. Now using your screwdriver start chipping and breaking the black glass base of the bulb. Be gentle while doing this, the glass here is thick, but easily breaks off. Now using the screwdriver break the inside part of the bulb where the filament is located. Hold the bulb with a tight grip, but not too tight or else the glass itself will break. Once the inside is broken it should easily slide out! Voila! the bulb is empty! Wash the bulb once to remove all broken glass pieces. Now pass a thick thread through the holes so that we can hang the bulb! I've put a money plant in the bulb and put water in it. It now hangs nicely in my room! Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com If you can`t find any French bayonet light bulbs, the procedure for standard lightbulbs is the same, except you don`t have to pull the little knobbies off. You hang the bulb with two clear fishing line nooses on opposite sides around the threads. You can use invisible 2 pound fly fishing line and make the bulb look like it is hovering. Have FUN! DearWebby ____________________________________________________ Thanks to Chris for this report: A gas station in Mississippi was trying to increase its sales, so the owner put up a sign saying, "Free Sex with Fill-Up." Soon a local redneck pulled in, filled his tank, and then asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex. The redneck then guessed 8, and the proprietor said, "You were close; the number was 7. Sorry, no sex this time." A week later, the same redneck, along with his buddy, Bubba, pulled in for a fill-up. Again he asked for his free sex. The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number. The redneck guessed 2 this time. ! Again the proprietor said, "Sorry, it was 4. You were close, but no free sex this time." As they were driving away, the redneck said to his buddy, "I think that game is rigged and he doesn't really give away free sex." Bubba replied, "No it ain't, Billy Ray. It ain't rigged, my wife won twice last week." __________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Thanks to Dianne for this story: Although many men in our rural area have difficulty accepting women's lib, my husband helps with the housework. One day he took over the vacuuming while I went to the store. The doorbell rang. It was one of his friends, a burly ranch foreman clad in a battered cowboy hat, faded jeans and worn boots. "I was just cleaning," my husband said somewhat abashed, turning off the vacuum. The rancher looked relieved. "That's all right," he said gruffly, handing my husband a white paper bag. "I'm delivering Avon!" | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
Thanks loads for the spybot tip. I have safely fixed my SLOW computer problems!!! Sharon ____________________________________________________ | Today, October 25, in 1415 In Northern France, England won the Battle of Agincourt over France during the Hundred Years' War. Almost 6000 Frenchmen were killed while fewer than 400 were lost by the English. 1812 During the War of 1812, the U.S. frigate United States captured the British vessel Macedonian. 1854 The Charge of the Light Brigade took place during the Crimean War. The British were winning the Battle of Balaclava when Lord James Cardigan received an order to attack the Russians. He took his troops into a valley and suffered 40 percent caualties. Later it was revealed that the order was the result of confusion and was not given intentionally. 1870 The first U.S. trademark was given. The recipient was the Averill Chemical Paint Company of New York City. 1917 The Bolsheviks (Communists) under Vladimir Ilyich Lenin seized power in Russia. 1929 Alber B. Fall, of U.S. President Harding's cabinet, was found guilty of taking a bribe. He was sentenced to a year in prison and fined $100,000. 1951 In Panmunjom, peace talks concerning the Korean War resumed after 63 days. 1954 A U.S. cabinet meeting was televised for the first time. 1955 The microwave oven, for home use, was introduced by The Tappan Company. 1958 U.S. Marines withdrew from Beirut, Lebanon. They had been sent in on July 25, 1958, to protect the nation's pro- Western government. 1960 The Accutron watch by the Bulova Watch Company was introduced. 1962 U.S. Ambassador Adlai Stevenson presented photographic evidence to the United Nations Security Council. The photos were of Soviet missile bases in Cuba. 1971 The U.N. General Assembly voted to expel Taiwan and admit mainland China. 1983 U.S. troops and soldiers from six Caribbean nations invaded Grenada to restore order and provide protection to U.S. citizens after a recent coup within Grenada's Communist (pro-Cuban) government. 1990 It was announced by U.S. Defense Secretary Dick Cheney that the Pentagon was planning to send 100,000 more troops to Saudi Arabia. 2000 AT&T Corp. announced that it would restructure into a family of four separately traded companies (consumer, business, broadband and wireless). 2001 It was announced that scientists had unearthed the remains of an ancient crocodile which lived 110 million years ago. The animal, found in Gadoufaoua, Niger, grew as long as 40 feet and weighed as much as eight metric tons. 2017 Do smiled. |
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