Good Morning, Do, Today is Tuesday, June 28 I got talked into going on an evening hike with the library Ramblers. Not far, they said, maybe 15 miles. Bring dinner. Yeah, 15 miles further than I was in shape for, all up and down, but mostly up. Nice view from the top, then the same route back, all down and up. I paid for having been a show- off in my teens and twenties, and especially for being out of shape now. Almost blew a gasket, but not quite. Made it back to the car at 9 pm. Stood in the wind for a while before driving home, made it home just as the sun was setting at 9:25. I definitely have to get into better shape! Have FUN! DearWebby Independence Day Sale
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Today's International Bonehead Award: 4 Houston robbers surrender after getting chased into FBI parking lot. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, June 28, in 1960 - In Cuba, Fidel Castro confiscated American-owned oil refineries without compensation. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be. --- Paul Valery (1871 - 1945) One is tempted to define man as a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason. --- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) "Karaoke bars combine two of the nations greatest evils: people who shouldn't drink with people who shouldn't sing."---Tom Dreesen "There is nobody so irritating as somebody with less intelligence and more sense than we have." --- Don Herold _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ After telling the customs agent he had nothing in his bags but clothing, Mark was alarmed when the official decided to open them up and check. In the very first one she opened, cushioned between his socks was a bottle of cognac. "Nothing to declare but clothing, huh?" "Right," Mark extemporized. "That, madam, is my nightcap." A new manager spends a week at his new office with the manager he is replacing. On the last day the departing manager tells him, "I have left three numbered envelopes in the desk drawer. Open an envelope if you encounter a crisis you can't solve." Three months down the track there is a major drama, everything goes wrong - the usual stuff - and the manager feels very threatened by it all. He remembers the parting words of his predecessor and opens the first envelope. The message inside says "Blame your predecessor!" He does this and gets off the hook. About half a year later, the company is experiencing a dip in sales, combined with serious product problems. The manager quickly opens the second envelope. The message read, "Reorganize!" This he does, and the company quickly rebounds. Three months later, at his next crisis, he opens the third envelope. The message inside says "Prepare three envelopes". ______________________________________________________ In a physics lab, which involved light, electricity and magnetism, one requirement of the course was to read the week's experiment before coming to class. At one lab session the instructor wanted to see how many people had actually done so. "What are the two types of light?" he asked. The lab fell quiet until one wise guy raised his hand and said, "Uhhh, Miller and Coors?" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by 4 Houston robbers surrender after getting chased into FBI parking lot. The four Houstonians arrested by Dallas police in the short-lived chase are Chrisheena Milburn, 25, Ray Hicks, 21, Brandon Mallet, 29, and Fernando Taylor, 28. If you're going to commit a robbery, it's a good idea to have your escape plan mapped out. Four robbery suspects from Houston found that out the hard way on Tuesday in Dallas when they allegedly stole $20,000 from a Gene's Liquor Store employee at a bank northwest of downtown. As police chased them down from the scene of the crime, the four got chased straight into the FBI's parking lot. The Dallas Morning News reports Dallas police believe the three men and one woman caught are suspects in a series of "bank juggings" around Dallas, in which thieves steal from people who make large withdrawals at local banks. The four Houstonians arrested by Dallas police in the short-lived chase are Chrisheena Milburn, 25, Ray Hicks, 21, Brandon Mallet, 29, and Fernando Taylor, 28. Police were tipped off to the four robbers after seeing them driving around in a white Lexus that had paper dealer tags, according to the Dallas Morning News. Police linked the sport utility vehicle to other robberies around Dallas and were on the lookout for it. Undercover police followed the four to One World Bank at 2449 Walnut Hill Lane, the newspaper reports. That's where they attacked the liquor store employee. Taylor punched the employee while Hicks held him down, according to police records reviewed by the Dallas Morning News. The officer tailing the robbers was joined by other police officers who led the chase. The robbers were allegedly seen throwing items out the windows of the getaway vehicle by police. The chase came to an end when the SUV drove into the FBI's parking lot at 1 Justice Way. The Dallas Morning News reports the four surrendered. A bank bag with $20,000 was found behind an air-conditioning vent in the vehicle. All four were booked into the Dallas County Jail on robbery charges. Mallet, Millburn and Taylor have been released on bail. Hicks remained in jail late Thursday on a $25,000 bond. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Frank RE: Not getting Humor letter on Weekends Dear Webby, Thank you for your concern, just so you know, I'm on a lot of peoples list but not for the same reason. Here it is Sunday morning before Church and the Humor letter has not arrived. I once again read it on line and VOTED. Then I remembered last Sunday...when I did get your letter it was actually Saturday the 18th letter. Hence I went to the site and read Sundays. Monday through Friday was fine and the letter was here early in the morning as has been the case for years. As an aside...I do not know how many years I've been on your list but I know it is in excess of a decade. An old friend W.E. Stewart, Sr. signed me up when he was in his 80's and proficient with a computer. He was a WWII Marine veteran who was on Iwo Jima during the battle and the last of his company to decease. He passed last July @ 96 yrs. and I think of him often when I see your letter. Just wanted you to know how you affect people in different ways. God Bless Frank Dear Frank Thanks for the vote! I checked the entire bounce log, which is pretty big on weekends because a lot of office workers use auto- responders to bounce mail on weekends. After downloading the 26 MB bounce log that check is actually very fast with NoteTab. 26 MB of bounces indicate that the newsletter arrived at servers OK. It said your address was not in the bounce log. That means the problem is somewhere inside of cox.net. Can you make a filter so that they don't put the Humor Letter into SPAM or Trash? Since 1994 I use a consistent header: FROM: humor@webby.com SUBJECT: Humor: Originally that was to allow people to filter the Humor Letter into a HUMOR archive or mailbox with Pegasus or Eudora. Nowadays, 22 years later, that still works to keep it from getting put into SPAM, even if I talk about computer related stuff. If you can't make filters at COX.NET, contact their support. Have FUN! DearWebby Webby, Just arrived home and read message. Went to Cox's web mail and low and behold there were Saturdays and Sundays (this week) in the Spam box. I've now marked both of them as not Spam and legitimate. I continually learn something from you every time. Cox's Spam folder did not show last Saturdays mail. Ark City does not have much choice in providers and I'm not an admirer of Cox but that is it here and I don't want to switch to gmail at this time. I'll try to keep an eye on the Cox Spam listing which I did not know they had until today. I do use Mailwasher and Eudora, my Mailwasher filter has you at the top of the list and mark as good. Thanks for your support and understanding Frank _____________________________________________________ A golfer's drive lands on an anthill. Rather than move the ball, he decides to hit it where it lies. He gives a mighty swing. A cloud of dirt and sand and ants explodes from the end of his club, but the golf ball remains in the same spot. So he lines up and tries another shot. A cloud of dirt and sand and ants goes flying again. The golf ball doesn't even wiggle. Two ants survive. One dazed ant says to the other, "Whoa. What are we going to do?" Says the other ant: "I don't know about you, but I'm going to get on the ball." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Pineapple Pound Cake Recipe A married couple in New York's "Little Italy" went to their Priest to discuss birth control, since they already had seven children. The husband inquired if perhaps oral sex would be an acceptable substitute in the eyes of the Church. The Priest explained that it was still considered a perverted act and a sin; totally banned according to their faith. The wife spoke up fuming, "Look Father, you no play-a da game, you no make-a da rules!" ______________________________________________________ Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________ After being laid off, Judie papered the town with her resume. Days passed, and she hadn't received a single phone call. She decided to take a closer look at the copies her husband had printed at his real estate office. Judie quickly realized that he hadn't put blank paper into the machine. At the bottom of each copy, written in bold type, was a common real estate disclaimer: "The information contained herein, while deemed to be accurate, is not guaranteed." ----------------------- While that would cause a chuckle to other job seekers, to an employer that says: "This dingbat is not only incompetent, but the crooked bimbo will steal OUR paper to apply for a job elsewhere! NEXT!" ___________________________________________________ | girl sees train for first time |
____________________________________________________ A father noticed that his son was spending way too much time playing computer games. In an effort to motivate the boy into focusing more attention on his schoolwork, the father said to his son, "When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace." The son replied, "Dad, I REALLY don't want to be president by the time I am your age !!!" ____________________________________________________ My dad, an auto mechanic, received a repair order that read: "Check for clunking sound when going around corners." Taking the car out for a test drive, he made a right turn, and a moment later he heard a clunk. He then made a left turn and again heard a clunk. Back at the shop, he opened the car's trunk, and soon discovered the problem. Promptly he returned the repair order to the service manager with this notation: "Removed water melon from trunk". ____________________________________________________ | | I love animals, they're so awesome. |
| Today on June 28 1635 - The French colony of Guadeloupe was established in the Caribbean. 1675 - Frederick William of Brandenburg crushed the Swedes. 1709 - The Russians defeated the Swedes and Cossacks at the Battle of Poltava. 1776 - American Colonists repulsed a British sea attack on Charleston, SC. 1778 - Mary "Molly Pitcher" Hays McCauley, wife of an American artilleryman, carried water to the soldiers during the Battle of Monmouth and, supposedly, took her husband's place at his gun after he was overcome with heat. 1902 - The U.S. Congress passed the Spooner bill, it authorized a canal to be built across the isthmus of Panama. 1914 - Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria, the heir to the Austro-Hungarian throne, was assassinated in Sarajevo along with his wife, Duchess Sophie. England used that as an excuse to mix in on the side of the assassin and start WWI. 1919 - The Treaty of Versailles was signed ending World War I exactly five years after it began. The treaty also established the League of Nations. 1939 - Pan American Airways began the first transatlantic passenger service. 1942 - German troops launched an offensive to seize Soviet oil fields in the Caucasus and the city of Stalingrad. 1945 - U.S. General Douglas MacArthur announced the end of Japanese resistance in the Philippines. 1949 - The last U.S. combat troops were called home from Korea, leaving only 500 advisers. 1950 - North Korean forces captured Seoul, South Korea. 1954 - French troops began to pull out of Vietnams Tonkin Province. 1960 - In Cuba, Fidel Castro confiscated American-owned oil refineries without compensation. 1964 - Malcolm X founded the Organization for Afro American Unity to seek independence for blacks in the Western Hemisphere. 1965 - The first commercial satellite began communications service. It was Early Bird (Intelsat I). 1967 - Israel formally declared Jerusalem reunified under its sovereignty following its capture of the Arab sector in the June 1967 war. 1971 - The U.S. Supreme Court overturned the draft evasion conviction of Muhammad Ali. 1972 - U.S. President Nixon announced that no new draftees would be sent to Vietnam. 1976 - The first women entered the U.S. Air Force Academy. 1978 - The U.S. Supreme Court ordered the medical school at the University of California at Davis to admit Allan Bakke. Bakke, a white man, argued he had been a victim of reverse racial discrimination. 1996 - The Citadel voted to admit women, ending a 153-year- old men-only policy at the South Carolina military school. 1997 - Mike Tyson was disqualified for biting Evander Holyfield's ear after three rounds of their WBA heavyweight title fight in Las Vegas, NV. 1998 - Poland, due to shortage of funds, is allowed to lease U.S. aircraft to bring military force up to NATO standards. 1998 - The Cincinnati Enquirer apologized to Chiquita banana company and retracted their stories that questioned company's business practices. They also agreed to pay more than $10 million to settle legal claims. 2000 - The U.S. Supreme Court declared that a Nebraska law that outlawed "partial birth abortions" was unconstitutional. About 30 U.S. states had similar laws at the time of the ruling. 2001 - The U.S. Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia Circuit set aside an order that would break up Microsoft for antitrust violations. However, the judges did agree that the company was in violation of antitrust laws. 2004 - The U.S. turned over official sovereignty to Iraq's interim leadership. The event took place two days earlier than previously announced to thwart insurgents' attempts at undermining the transfer. 2004 - The U.S. resumed diplomatic ties with Libya after a 24-year break. 2004 - The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that enemy combatants could challenge their detention in U.S. Courts. 2005 - The final design for the "Freedom Tower" (One World Trade Center) was formally unveiled. 2007 - The American bald eagle was removed from the endangered species list. 2010 - The U.S. Supreme Court ruled 5-4 that Americans have the right to own a gun for self-defense anywhere they live. 2016 Do smiled. |
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