Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, February 7 Thank you, Thomas !!!! ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Today, February 7, in 1985 "Sports Illustrated" released its annual swimsuit edition. It was the largest regular edition in the magazine's history at 218 pages. ___________________________________________________ Bonehead Award 40 years for picking up 14-year-old out of state for sex ___________________________________________________ The world is governed more by appearances than realities, so that it is fully as necessary to seem to know something as to know it. --- Daniel Webster (1782 - 1852) ___________________________________________________ A young couple met with their pastor to set a date for their wedding. When he asked whether they preferred a contemporary or a traditional service, both the bride and groom were curious as to what a contemporary service entailed. They werent sure, so they promptly asked the pastor. Oh there arent many differences at all just a few minor details, replied the pastor. The couple preferred the sound of a contemporary wedding over a traditional one, so they decided to go ahead with it. On the big day, a major storm forced the groom to take an alternate route to the church. The streets were flooded, so he rolled up his pants legs to keep his trousers dry. When he finally reached the church, his best man rushed him into the sanctuary and up to the altar, just as the ceremony was starting. Upon seeing the groom, the pastor promptly told him: "Pull down your pants," "Uh, Reverend, I've changed my mind," the groom responded. "I think I would prefer the traditional service." ___________________________________________________ A SHORT HISTORY OF MEDICINE: "Doctor, I have an ear ache." 2000 B.C. - "Here, eat this root. That will be one payment on my sandals, please." 1000 B.C. - "That root is heathen, say this prayer. That will be one payment on my donkey, please." 1850 A.D. - "That prayer is superstition, drink this potion. That will be one payment on my wagon, please." 1940 A.D. - "That potion is snake oil, swallow these pills. That will be one payment on my Buick, please." 1985 A.D. - "That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic. That will be one payment on my Mercedes, please." 2002 A.D. - "That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root! That will be one payment on my yacht, please." ____________________________________________________ Sailesh Jain ____________________________________________________ A Southerner had just moved to New York, and one day, a robber approached him and said, "Give me your money or I'll blow your brains out!" "Blow away," replied the Southerner, "You obviously can live in New York without brains, but I could not live here without money." ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Nathaniel David Blancher, 38, Mobile, Alabama, USA 40 years for picking up 14-year-old for sex A man who admitted to driving to Kentucky to pick up a teenage girl for sex will go to prison for 40 years, a federal judge ruled Monday. In addition to the prison term, U.S. District Judge Jeffrey Beaverstock sentenced Nathaniel David Blancher to 20 years for transportation with intent to engage in sexual activity with a minor and 10 years each for two counts of violating rules for registered sex offenders with all of the time running consecutively. The judge also ordered Blancher to be incarcerated at a medical facility where he can get sex offender and mental health treatment. Blancher, 38, pleaded guilty in November to two counts of transportation with intent to engage in sexual activity with a minor and two counts of violating rules for registered sex offenders. Court records show Blancher had been in an online relationship with the 14-year-old girl for about three years before he picked her up at her home in Louisville last spring. Acting on a tip, Mobile police went to Blanchers apartment on May 30 and found the girl hiding in the bathroom, according to the defendants written plea agreement. The girl told investigators that she and Blancher had been communicating through Xbox, Skype and phone. She said that he had come to Louisville about a month earlier and that they had had sex in a hotel room, according to the plea document. At the time of the incident, Blancher already had been convicted of a sex offense after pleading guilty to possession of child pornography in 2020 to Mobile County Circuit Court and received a five-year probation sentence. That required him to register as a sex offender, which made it illegal for him to live with a child a rule he broke when he brought the girl to live in his apartment. ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ From: Tony Re: Viswo Converter Dear Webby Another really good media converter (and also free) is Format Factory. I've been using Format Factory for all of my media conversions for many years. Thanks again for all of the GREAT content and advise! Tony ;-) Dear Tony Thank you very much! Have FUN! DearWebby A man was being proselytized by group of friends: "Come join our study group. We want to discuss mankind's relationship to God." "I'm married; I learned long ago that my opinions don't matter." "But, when you die, will you go to heaven or to hell?" "Wherever my wife tells me to." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ Three couples are in line at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter says to the first couple, "Sorry, I can't let you in." "Why not?" asked the husband. "Because all the two of you ever cared about was drinking. You were either stone drunk or hung over. You didn't have a sober day in your marriage." said St. Peter. "That's not true!" pleaded the couple. "Really, now." said St. Peter. "What's your wife's name?" "Sherry", said the man "See, you even married a woman named after a drink!" said St. Peter just as he released a trap door, sending them straight down to hell. Then he told the second couple they couldn't get in to Heaven, either. "Why not?" asked the second husband. "Because all you ever cared about was making money, and you didn't care how you did it. You would cheat anybody, anytime to make your fortune." said St. Peter. "You even cheated your own brothers and sisters out of their inheritance!" "That's not true!" pleaded the husband. "Oh, really?" queried St. Peter "What's your wife's name?" "Penny", said the husband. "See?" said St. Peter, "You even have wife named after money." At which point he released the trap door sending them down to hell. The third husband, grinning, said to his wife, "Well, Fanny, I'm sure glad we were not interested in booze or money!" ______________________________________________ A patrol car has been following this vehicle for about 30 minutes now, when they finally decide to pull it over. The officer steps out and walks up to the driver's window. "Good afternoon, sir." "Good afternoon, any problems?" "No sir. My partner and I have been following and observing you for a half an hour now. We ascertained that you have not committed one single traffic violation, you have not gone over the speed limit by even 1 mph, you were courteous towards the fellow drivers on the road. Therefore, as a part of our new "solid driving awareness program," I would like to present you with this check for $30,000.00." The driver lets out a big sigh of relief, "Oh good! Now I can finally pay to get my driver's license." Awkward silence, then the wife sitting in the passenger seat goes, "Don't listen to him, officer, he always talks nonsense when he has been drinking. " Grandma, who's a little hard of hearing, adds from the back seat, "Aye, aye, aye, didn't I tell you not to go in a stolen car?" At this time the trunk pops open and a head peeks out, "Are we over the border yet?" ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not at all try to understand her. ___________________________________________________ | Today, February 7, in 1877 The first Guernsey Cattle Club was organized in New York City. 1882 The last bareknuckle fight for the heavyweight boxing championship took place in Mississippi City. 1893 Elisha Gray patented a machine called the telautograph. It automatically signed autographs to documents. 1913 The Turks lost 5,000 men in a battle with the Bulgarian army in Gallipoli. 1943 The U.S. government announced that shoe rationing would go into effect in two days. 1944 During World War II, the Germans launched a counteroffensive at Anzio, Italy. 1962 The U.S. government banned all Cuban imports and re- export of U.S. products to Cuba from other countries. 1974 The nation of Grenada gained independence from Britain. 1977 Russia launched Soyuz 24. 1984 Space shuttle astronauts Bruce McCandless II and Robert L. Stewart made the first untethered space walk. 1985 "Sports Illustrated" released its annual swimsuit edition. It was the largest regular edition in the magazine's history at 218 pages. 1985 "New York, New York" became the official anthem of New York City. 1986 Haitian President-for-Life Jean-Claude Duvalier fled his country ending 28 years of family rule. 1991 The Rev. Jean-Bertrand Aristide was sworn in as Haiti's first democratically elected president. 1999 NASA's Stardust space probe was launched. The mission was to return comet dust samples from comet Wild 2. The mission was completed on January 15, 2006 when the sample return capsule returned to Earth. 2000 California's legislature declared that February 13 would be "Charles M. Schulz Day." 2008 The Space Shuttle Atlantis launched with the mission of delivering the Columbus science laboratory to the International Space Station. 2021 Do smiled. |
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