Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, December 17 Are you interested in getting mycheer.com mycheers.com $15 each. You can use them for anything you want. ____________________________________________________ Today, December 17 in 1777 To annoy England, France recognized American independence. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Man with homemade license plate drawn with crayon arrested in Indiana _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! _______________________________________________ I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones. --- Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955) Beware when the great God lets loose a thinker on this planet. --- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882) _______________________________________________ Caller: I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff, please. Operator: I'm sorry, there's no such listing. Are you sure you have the spelling correct? Caller: Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar, but the B fell off a few years ago. ________________________________________________` From Linda ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Joshua Lewis-Brown, 20, Rochester, New York Man with homemade license plate drawn with crayon arrested in Indiana A man with a homemade license plate drawn with crayon on a paper grocery bag was arrested after Indiana State Troopers stopped to lend the stranded motorist a helping hand. Officers Craig Woodcox and Zarek Finley were driving along the I-80 Toll Road in Steuben County, Indiana, at approximately 2:30 p.m. on Thursday afternoon when they saw a man standing next to a Toyota Corolla on the side of the road tending to a flat tire. But when the Indiana State Troopers pulled over to help the man, things began to quickly unravel. The man identified himself as Joshua Lewis-Brown, 20, from Rochester, New York and told the officers that he was unable to change the tire and needed a tow truck. But when Woodcox and Finley were about to oblige his request, they noticed that the license plate was hand-written in crayon on a paper grocery bag. The police then ran a check on the vehicle using the Vehicle Identification Number rather than the license plate which ended up leading to even more suspicion. Woodcox discovered the Toyota had been reported as stolen out of State College, Pennsylvania the day prior. The Troopers' also found that Brown had never been licensed to operate a motor vehicle in any state, and was currently on probation for Grand Larceny, the Indiana State Police said in a statement. Finley then placed Lewis-Brown under arrest and he was subsequently booked into custody and charged with Possession of Stolen Property, a Level 5 Felony, and Operating Without Ever Obtaining a License, a Level C Misdemeanor. According to the Indiana State Police as reported by authorities in Pennsylvania, it is alleged that the vehicle had been stolen when the owner left it unattended and unlocked with the engine running in order to keep the car warm outside of a local grocery store in Pennsylvania. But when the owner made his quick purchase and left the store he found that his vehicle was missing. Brown will be held on the Indiana charges, and then will face extradition back to Pennsylvania pending their local charges. He will get Christmas Dinner in some jail, somewhere. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Sharon RE: Online Shopping Dear Webby, How safe is it really to buy on-line? Some people say it's perfectly safe, others have all kinds of horror stories. What's the real scoop? Sharon Dear Sharon Usually the people with the wackiest horror stories don't even have a computer, but read and believe the National Enquirer. As long as you don't buy from a spammer, you are perfectly safe. A spammer, who already cheats and deceives you with a trick subject line, will continue in the same direction and will rip you off. If you find a site through a major search engine like Google or a recommendation from a friend, you are quite safe. Here are some rules to go by: If a site does not have a secure shopping cart or secure order form, watch out ! Never use your credit card when the padlock at the bottom of the browser is not closed. If you can't pay by credit card or by PayPal, go somewhere else, where you can. If the "business" uses an AOL address, forget them. There may be a tiny percentage of legitimate businesses among all the crooks that use AOL addresses, but that percentage is too small to gamble on it. The same applies to cs, ho'mail and yahoo addresses. Any crook can get one of those disposable addresses, and dump it as soon as they have your money. Legitimate businesses have email addresses based on their business domain. Please note that this applies to USA, Canada, Australia, New Zealand and Japan only. In Europe and the Mid-East trust only air lines, rail lines, and hotels that belong to respectable chains. Any other business, especially if they are not approved by VISA or Mastercard, is usually bad news and it's best if you don't deal with them on-line. If you follow these rules, you won't get ripped off and will be able to enjoy a lot of bargains. Airlines, hotels, car rental agencies and many chain stores give you a very noticeable discount, if you order over the web. However, if you plan to register at a hotel, try to find the site of the hotel. You usually pay $10 - $15 less per night than if you order through a booking agency. For Europe I found that Amazon works very well. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. That reminds me of the way some people give directions. One time I was looking for the 'Outback' steak house in Nashville. This really friendly lady told me: "Stay on this heah road till yo get to where that construction trailer used to be, then you got to tern right there," (I already had learned that their 'tern right there' means turn left, they say 'go rite' when they mean turn to the right), "then stay on thaat fer six or seven blocks, but doun' count dead ends that don' go nowhere, then go rite till you get to where they're gonna build a Wallmart nex year maybe, ....", and so on. Well, I got so thoroughly lost, that I backtracked to the hotel, turned on my laptop and looked it up on mapquest. | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
The middle-aged man was shuffling along, bent over at the waist, as his wife helped him into the doctor's waiting room. A woman in the office viewed the scene in sympathy. "Arthritis with complications?" she asked. The wife shook her head, "No .... Do-it-yourself," she explained, "with concrete blocks." What's the Heirloom Christmas Book about? It is a BIG e-book with all the stories, that your great grandmother recited or read to your grandmother, when she was a kid. I want these stories to be preserved. You may know what it is about, when somebody mentions "bittersweet love like in 'The Gift Of The Magi'," but with today's education, your kids or even their teachers, probably don't know. So I collected these classics and put them all together into one e-book. This book of Christmas Stories is a cultural treasure, that should be passed on to our descendants. Since it is in e-book format, you can put it onto a CD for each kid, and fill the rest of the CD with family pictures and other keepsakes, making it a true heirloom. I have produced a smaller version last year. This final edition has more stories and illustrations, but I kept the price down to the same $10. The Heirloom Christmas Book also makes a nice Christmas gift! Click on the book cover to get your copy or click on Heirloom Christmas Book http://webby.com/cb You can download it and give the file as a gift! ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Storing CDs and DVDs Always store CDs and DVDs in a case or protective sleeve. If you label them with a marker, be sure to use a non solvent- based felt-tip permanent marker. Store in a relative humidity of 20% to 50% and between 40 and 70 degrees F and in an upright position to avoid having them bend over time. Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ A friend was laid up at home with the flu. His fiancee called and volunteered to come over and fix dinner and play nursemaid to him. He declined, not wanting to pass on the flu to her. "Okay honey", she told him, "I'll wait till after we get married. Then we can spend the rest of our lives making each other sick!" ___________________________________________________ I met Fran and Jane at one of the benches for smokers outside Dallas/Fort Worth airport. They were quite obviously nervous about their flight and had bought some flight insurance at the terminal. They told me that they couldn't make up their minds about who to name as beneficiaries, so they had ended up each naming the other. I was quite amused when I saw them both get up at the same time to board the same plane. ___________________________________________________ Subway Announcements: At Camden town station (on a crowded Saturday afternoon): "Please let the passengers off the train first. Please let the passengers off the train first. Please let the passengers off the train first. Let the passengers OFF THE TRAIN FIRST! Oh go on then, get run over by Big Bertha, see if I care, I'm going home." ---------------- "I am sorry about the delay, apparently some nutter has just wandered into the tunnel at Euston. We don't know when we'll be moving again, but these people tend to come out pretty quickly...usually in bits and pieces." __________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today December 17 in 1777 To annoy England, France recognized American independence. 1791 A traffic regulation in New York City established the first street to go "One Way." 1830 South American patriot Simon Bolivar died in Colombia. 1895 George L. Brownell received a patent for his paper-twine machine. 1903 The first successful gasoline engine powered airplane flight took place near Kitty Hawk, NC. Orville and Wilbur Wright made the flight. 1925 Col. William "Billy" Mitchell was convicted of insubordination at his court-martial. 1939 The German pocket battleship Graf Spee was scuttled by its crew, bringing the World War II Battle of the Rio de la Plata off Uruguay to an end. 1944 The U.S. Army announced the end of its policy of excluding Japanese-Americans from the West Coast which ensured that Japanese-Americans were released from concentration camps. 1953 The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) decided to approve RCA's color television specifications. 1957 The United States successfully test-fired the Atlas intercontinental ballistic missile for the first time. 1959 The film "On the Beach" premiered in New York City and in 17 other cities. It was the first motion picture to debut simultaneously in major cities around the world. 1969 The U.S. Air Force closed its Project "Blue Book" by concluding that there was no evidence of extraterrestrial spaceships behind thousands of UFO sightings. 1973 Thirty-one people were killed at Rome airport when Arab guerillas hijacked a German airliner. 1975 Lynette Fromme was sentenced to life in prison for her attempt on the life of U.S. President Ford. 1976 WTCG-TV, Atlanta, GA, changed its call letters to WTBS, and was uplinked via satellite. The station became the first commercial TV station to cover the entire U.S. 1978 OPEC decided to raise oil prices by 14.5% by the end of 1979. 1979 Arthur McDuffie, a black insurance executive, was fatally beaten after a police chase in Miami, FL. Four white police officers were later acquitted of charges stemming from McDuffie's death. 1986 Wayne "Danke Schoen" Newton won a $19.2 million suit against NBC News. NBC had aired reports claiming a link between Newton and mob figures. The reports were proven to be false. 1986 Davina Thompson became the world's first recipient of a heart, lungs, and liver transplant. 1986 Eugene Hasenfus was pardoned and then released by Nicaragua. He had been convicted of running guns to the Contras. 1992 U.S. President George H.W. Bush, Canadian Prime Minister Brian Mulroney and Mexican President Carlos Salinas de Gortari signed the North American Free Trade Agreement. 1992 Israel deported over 400 Palestinians to Lebanese territory in an unprecedented mass expulsion of suspected militants. 1996 Peruvian guerrillas took hundreds of people hostage at the Japanese embassy in Lima. The siege ended on April 22, 1997, with a commando raid that resulted in the deaths of all the rebels, two commandos and one hostage. 1996 The Red Cross pulled all but a few of its western staff out of Chechnya after six foreign aid workers were killed by masked gunmen. 1997 U.S. President Clinton signed the No Electronic Theft Act. The act removed protection from individuals who claimed that they took no direct financial gains from stealing copyrighted works and downloading them from the Internet. 1998 U.S. House Speaker-designate Bob Livingston admitted he'd had extramarital affairs. 2002 McDonald's Corp. warned that they would report its first quarterly loss in its 47-year history. 2002 The insurance and finance company Conseco Inc. filed for Chapter 11 protection. It was the third-largest bankruptcy in U.S. history. 2002 Congo's government, opposition parties and rebels signed a peace agreement that ended four years of civil war. 2004 U.S. President George W. Bush signed into law the largest overhaul of U.S. intelligence gathering in 50 years. The bill aimed to tighten borders and aviation security. It also created a federal counterterrorism center and a new intelligence director. 2019 Do smiled. |
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