Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, January 6 Thank you, Scott! Thank you Doug!! ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Bonehead Award Gwinnett County mother accused of 1-year-old child's murder ____________________________________________________ Today, January 6, in 1994 Figure skater Nancy Kerrigan was clubbed on the right leg by an assailant at Cobo Arena in Detroit, MI. Four men were later sentenced to prison for the attack, including Tonya Harding's ex-husband. ____________________________________________________ Rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who can't read. --- Frank Zappa (1940 - 1993) ____________________________________________________ A high school teacher arrived late for class to find a most uncomplimentary drawing of herself on the blackboard. Fuming, she asked the class, "Who is responsible for this atrocity?!" The class clown won tremendous prestige among his peers by answering, "I don't know for sure, but it's probably something hereditary." ____________________________________________________ Trudy Marie Northern Saw Whet owl ____________________________________________________ "Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees. "Yes, sir," the clerk replied. "That's good," the boss said. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you." ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Oluwadamilola Imafiabor, 29, NORCROSS, Georgia, USA Gwinnett County mother accused of 1-year-old child's murder Police accused a 29-year-old woman of her 1-year-old son's murder when she claimed he was initially OK after being "run over by a truck" on Christmas Eve but died on Christmas Day. Police found the boy dead on Christmas Day and said his injuries appeared "inconsistent" with her story. The Gwinnett County Police Department said Oluwadamilola Imafiabor faces second-degree murder and second-degree cruelty to children for failing to seek medical attention. Police went to 231 Seasons Parkway in Norcross on Dec. 25 and found the child's body. Imafiabor told police the boy was run over by a truck while playing outside on Dec. 24. She told police the child appeared to be fine at first but died during the night. Police said an autopsy determined the child's injuries did not match the woman's statements to police. Police ask anyone with more information to contact GCPD detectives ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ From: Ariel Re: Open or Libre Office Dear Webby Which one is better, Open Office or Libre Office? Ariel Dear Ariel Both LibreOffice and OpenOffice have six different kinds of documents you can create: A text document, a spreadsheet, a presentation, a drawing, a formula, or a database. Both office suites offer document templates, but LibreOffice provides more built-in, ready-to-use templates than OpenOffice. If you get comfortable with one, then you can easily use the other one too. I have never used their templates, so for me they are practically the same. What is better LibreOffice or OpenOffice? Although both LibreOffice and Apache OpenOffice can open and edit native Microsoft formats DOCX and XLSX, only LibreOffice is able to save TO those formats. If you're going to be sharing documents with people using Microsoft Office, LibreOffice might therefore be the better choice. That is important for students because most teachers have been bribed to demand Microsoft Office produced homework. Industry and commerce is the opposite. If you have 500 or 5000 employees, would you pay big money for Microsoft Office or would you tell them to download and use Libre or Open? Personally, I use Libre. Have FUN! DearWebby Officer: Soldier, do you have change for a dollar? Soldier: Sure, buddy. Officer: That's no way to address an officer! Now let's try it again. Do you have change for a dollar? Soldier: No, SIR! | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ A business executive who had retired last year was discussing the joys of his new leisure time. He remarked that he had been compelled to give up skiing, a sport he had enjoyed for many years. "Afraid of injuries?" I asked. "Well, now I am," he responded. "Before I could drag a cast into work and still do my job, but now I'd be messing up my golf game." ______________________________________________ This drunk gets on a bus and asks the driver how long the trip is between Limerick and Cork. "About two hours," says the conductor. "OK," says the drunk "then how long is the trip between Cork and Limerick?" The irate driver says to the drunk "It's still about two hours. Why'd you think there'd be a difference?" "Well," says the drunk, "It's only a week between Christmas and New Year, but it's sure a lot longer between New Year and Christmas!" ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
A boss in California, to four of his employees: "I'm really sorry, but I'm going to have to let at least one of you go and I need a usable solution immediately." Female Employee: "I'm a woman." Black Employee: "I'm a protected minority." Oldest Employee: "Fire me, buster, and I'll hit you with an age discrimination suit so fast it'll make your head spin." ...To which they all turn to look at the helpless young, white, male employee, who thinks a moment, then responds: "I think I might be gay..." So, without discriminating against any politically protected group, he fired all four of them for "failure to perform assigned duties". ___________________________________________________ | Today, January 6, in 0871 England's King Alfred defeated the Danes at the Battle of Ashdown. 1205 Philip of Swabia was crowned as King of the Romans. 1453 Frederick III erected Austria into an Archduchy. 1540 King Henry VIII of England was married to Anne of Cleves, his fourth wife. 1720 The Committee of Inquiry on the South Sea Bubble published its findings. 1838 Samuel Morse publicly demonstrated the telegraph for the first time. 1896 The first American womens six-day bicycle race was held at Madison Square Garden in New York City. 1900 In India, it was reported that millions of people were dying from starvation. 1900 Off of South Africa, the British seized the German steamer Herzog. The boat was released on January 22, 1900. 1930 The first diesel-engine automobile trip was completed after a run of 792 miles from Indianapolis, IN, to New York City, NY. 1942 The first commercial around-the-world airline flight took place. Pan American Airlines was the company that made history with the feat. 1945 The Battle of the Bulge ended with 130,000 German and 77,000 Allied casualties. 1950 Britain recognized the Communist government of China. 1952 "Peanuts" debuted in Sunday papers across the United States. 1963 "Wild Kingdom" premiered on NBC. 1967 U.S. and South Vietnamese forces launched a major offensive, known as Operation "Deckhouse V", in the Mekong River delta. 1982 William G. Bonin was convicted in Los Angeles, CA, of being the "freeway killer" who had murdered 14 young men and boys. 1987 After a 29-year lapse, the Ford Thunderbird was presented with the Motor Trend Car of the Year Award. It was the first occurrence of a repeat winner of the award. 1994 Figure skater Nancy Kerrigan was clubbed on the right leg by an assailant at Cobo Arena in Detroit, MI. Four men were later sentenced to prison for the attack, including Tonya Harding's ex-husband. 1998 The spacecraft Lunar Prospect was launched into orbit around the moon. The craft was crashed into the moon, in an effort to find water under the lunar surface, on July 31, 1999. 1999 The 106th U.S. Congress opened. The first item on the agenda was the impeachment proceedings of U.S. President Bill Clinton. The trial was set to begin January 7, 1999. 2021 Do smiled. |
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