Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, September 24 Have FUN! Dearwebby Today's Bonehead Award: Firebug Claims He Torched 135 Cars Because "Others" Used Vehicles For Sexual Liaisons ______________________________________________________ Today, September 24 in 1869 Thousands of businessmen were financially ruined after a panic on Wall Street. The panic was caused by an attempt to corner the gold market by Jay Gould and James Fisk. More of today in history at HIstory ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Indeed, history is nothing more than a tableau of crimes and misfortunes. --- Voltaire (1694 - 1778) Do you realize if it weren't for Edison we'd be watching TV by candlelight? --- Al Boliska He's the kind of a guy who lights up a room just by flicking a switch. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ Richard said he had a hat that says, "For sale- Ex Wife. Take over payments." Leo said, "It was all going OK until we split the house. Seems I got the OUT-side." ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A group of junior-level executives were participating in a management training program. The seminar leader pounded home his point about the need to make decisions and take action on these decisions. "For instance," he said, "if you had five frogs on a log and three of them decided to jump, how many frogs would you have left on the log?" The answers from the group were unanimous: "Two." "Wrong," replied the speaker, "there would still be five because there is a difference between deciding to jump and jumping." _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Patricia for bringing back this classic: Two women friends had gone for a girl's night out. Both were very faithful and loving wives, however, they had gotten over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers. Incredibly drunk and walking home they needed to pee, so they stopped in the cemetery. One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she would take off her panties and use them. Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them. She was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she proceeded to wipe with that. After the girls did their business they proceeded to go home. The next day one of the women's husbands was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the other husband and said, "These girl nights have got to stop! I'm starting to suspect the worst.. my wife came home with no panties!!" "That's nothing" said the other husband, "Mine came back with a card stuck to her butt that said..... 'From all of us at the Fire Station. We'll never forget you!'." ______________________________________________________ Is thant a Canon? _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Evon Stephens, 23 New York City, New York Firebug Claims He Torched 135 Cars Because "Others" Used Vehicles For Sexual Liaisons The New York City man charged with setting a massive blaze that damaged more than 135 vehicles at a Brooklyn shopping center told investigators that he was motivated to start the fire by his belief that others used the parked vehicles for sexual activity. Evon Stephens, 23, was named yesterday in a federal complaint charging him with starting Monday's seven-alarm blaze inside the garage at the Kings Plaza Shopping Center. The garage was used by car dealerships to store vehicles for sale. Stephens, investigators allege, initially torched a Mercedes- Benz, with the fire spreading to other vehicles. As he departed the garage Monday morning, Stephens made an obscene hand gesture towards a surveillance camera. After being apprehended Monday afternoon, Stephens told police that he routinely went to the garage and accessed vehicles owned by auto dealers. He reportedly confessed to starting the fire because he thought the parked autos were being used by others for sexual liaisons. The Brooklyn blaze--which took hours to extinguish--was battled by hundreds of New York City firefighters. According to city officials, six civilians and 22 firefighters suffered minor injuries in connection with the fire. Stephens, facing a felony arson charge, is being held at the federal detention center in Brooklyn. The accused firebug is pictured above in a surveillance photo from the Brooklyn garage. From Duffy Re: Outside air for computer Dear Webby: Our computer keeps shutting down and restarts with an error of CPU too hot. I realize that it does not get a lot of ventilation where it sits, but I could put a duct through the wall to the outside. Would the outside air hurt it? Duffy Dear Duffy The outside air won't hurt it at all. Just put a rain guard on it like you see on dryer vents. Staple some old panty-hose or fine mosquito mesh over the hole first, before you snap on the dryer vent cap. On the inside, put the side of the computer with the easily removable lid, with the lid removed, snug against the hole in the wall. I would also highly recommend that you unplug the computer, bring it to a counter or high table with good lighting, vacuum it out thoroughly and then remove the CPU fan. You can usually do that without tools, as long as there is good lighting and you can see the snaps and levers that hold it down. Under the fan there is a finned heatsink. Get ready for an ugly sight! Some of the dirt on the heatsink you can vacuum off, but it's best to remove it and wash it with regular dishwashing soap until you see clean aluminum. Don't skip that step! If you get a "CPU Hot" warning, the heat sink is always crusted with dirt. After you put the heatsink and fan back on, cover all the air inlets with DuckTape, so that the machine will just use clean outside air. If you wait too long with cleaning the heat sink after you get that warning, the machine will die, so better get to it soon! Have FUN DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. A Kiwi was hoping to immigrate to Australia. Upon arriving in Australia, he was questioned by a customs officer, "What is your business in Australia?" "I wish to immigrate," was the Kiwi's reply. The customs officer then asked, "Do you have a conviction record?" Confused, the Kiwi then replied, "I didn't think you still needed one." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
One psychiatrist has discovered a great way to get his patients to talk freely. He puts a cell phone in their hands. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Checkout Surprise Buy The Right Grade, Not the Most Expensive You don't need to buy the highest priced gasoline. Most cars are built to run on regular unleaded. Check your owners manual or consult a mechanic. I have had many tell me that the more expensive gas is a waste of money. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ | | The Mima Mounds in Washington are a phenomenon unexplained by Science. |
___________________________________________________ What's Wrong Now? My friend, an ex-Marine aviator, wanted to show off his new twin-engine plane. I was riding along as he put it through its paces. Suddenly, we were caught in a violent thunderstorm, with lightning crashing all around us. Next, we lost the radio and most of the instruments. As we were being tossed around in the sky, George said, "Uh-oh!" Fearing the worst, I asked, "What's wrong now?" George replied, "I got the hiccups. Do something to scare me." ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
Actual Bumper Stickers Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. Cover me. I'm changing lanes. As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools. Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot. Sometimes I wake up grumpy, Other times I let him sleep. I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian. It is as bad as you think, and they are out to get you. I took an IQ test and the results were negative. Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check? If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat? It's lonely at the top, but you eat better. Forget about World Peace... Visualise Using Your Turn Signal! Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear. Give me ambiguity or give me something else. We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse. Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot. He who laughs last thinks slowest Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else. Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math. Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes. Consciousness: that annoying time between naps. i souport publik edekasion We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile.You Will Be Assimilated. Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home. Three kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't. Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word? Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'...till you can find a rock. ____________________________________________________ | Today, September 24 in 1789 The U.S. Congress passed the First Judiciary Act. The act provided for an Attorney General and lower federal courts. 1869 Thousands of businessmen were financially ruined after a panic on Wall Street. The panic was caused by an attempt to corner the gold market by Jay Gould and James Fisk. 1915 "The Lamb," Douglas Fairbanks first film, was shown at the Knickerbocker Theater in New York City, NY. 1929 The first all-instrument flight took place in New York when Lt. James H. Doolittle guided a Consolidated NY2 Biplane over Mitchell Field. 1933 "Roses and Drums" was heard on WABC in New York City. It was the first dramatic presentation for radio. 1938 Don Budge became the first tennis player to win all four of the major titles when he won the U.S. Tennis Open. He had already won the Australian Open, the French Open and the British Open. 1955 U.S. President Dwight Eisenhower suffered a heart attack while on vacation in Denver, CO. 1957 U.S. President Eisenhower sent federal troops to Little Rock, AR, to enforce school integration. 1960 The first nuclear powered aircraft carrier was launched. The USS Enterprise set out from Newport News, VA. 1963 The U.S. Senate ratified a treaty that limited nuclear testing. The treaty was between the U.S., Britain, and the Soviet Union. 1995 Three decades of Israeli occupation of West Bank cities ended with the signing of a pact by Israel and the PLO. 1996 The United States, represented by President Clinton, and the world's other major nuclear powers signed a Comprehensive Test Ban Treaty to end all testing and development of nuclear weapons. Nobody paid attention to that. 1998 The U.S. Federal Reserve released into circulation $2 billion in new harder-to-counterfeit $20 bills. 2001 U.S. President George W. Bush froze the assets of 27 suspected terrorists and terrorist groups. 2018 Do smiled. |
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Go to TOP
Well, Do , that's all for today.
Have FUN !
Dear Webby from Webby.com
Please give a friend a subscription to the Humor Letter
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them
in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If the greeting on top does NOT have your first name,
or at least your favorite nickname, please tell me.
I can correct that in two seconds and greet you properly
from then on.
If you want to give a gift subscription to a friend, but don't
have time to subscribe her or him, just hit REPLY and tell me.
I will gladly enter them for you and send them a confirmation request.
To reply to me personally, just hit REPLY or write to humor@webby.com
If you do not normally get the Humor Letter every day, and this was the first time,
then a friend sent you a one time sample or maybe even gave you a gift subscription.
If you like the Humor Letter, then you can subscribe at http://webby.com/sub.html
You can also UNsubscribe there.
If you don't want to receive the Webby Humor Letter,
please unsubscribe by clicking the link below:
You are currently subscribed to the Regular HTML version with this address:
newsletter@newslettercollector.com
UNSUBSCRIBE from the regular HTMLversion Give a friend a free gift subscription to the Humor Letter | . | Search the web for:
Recommended Resources Find a human
Bypass voice menus
Web Tools
handy program downloads
SPAM CONTROL made Easy!
Click here for a FREE
30 day trial
This is the Mail Washer that I use and have
used for over 10 years. I have tested many
others, but Mail Washer is still The Best
spam control Crap Cleaner Safely get rid of
tons of useless crap left over from
old, obsolete updates, temp files, lost
file fragments, etc.
STILL FREE
As a matter of fact this service do my essays regularly when I send my request. Babelfish Translator Converter Urban Legends
Truth or Hoax?
Check before believing chain letters
Great tool for getting rid of
spy-ware and mal-ware. Still FREE
STUDENTS! We can write your essays, reviews, dissertations, etc. at DoMyEssay.net Virus Hoaxes
Virus / Trojan / Malware Info
Straight from McAfee Threat Center
FREE HTML Course !
Get the REAL McAfee
at incredible discount!
used and
Highly recommended
by Dear Webby
This Undeleter will easily and securely recover deleted files from hard drives, flash drives, USB external drives, Zip drives, Firewire drives, digital camera cards, and more. This powerful recovery software can recover deleted files from most data loss scenarios.
Is your data worth recovery? SmartFix The ONLY Registry Fixer, that I recommend!
All In One PX Fixer has all the necessary tools included: Fix System Errors, Improve Startup, Clean Registry, Defrag Disk, Optimize System Settings, Back-Up, etc. Currently Smart OC Fixer is 50% off regular price! Roboform, still the best password manager.
Still FREE
Highly recommended by DearWebby
FREE, no fuss download!
Domain Name registration:
Discuss your needs first, don't just register a name, that might not be good for you! Ask DearWebby first. That will save you a lot of money!
YOUR OWN
Postcard Site ! You too can easily have a postcard site for business or fun.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Cumuli Ezine Finder: Etiquette To Get Read
Ebook with power tips
for effective writing,
by DearWebby
Ads are $50 per month for subscribers only.
$60 per month for anybody else.
Dear Bubba
All is forgiven. I still love you. Please come back!
Ps. Congratulations on your lottery win!
Your Betty-Sue
That could be YOUR ad for $50 per week.
Subscribers only!
Nudist Colony of Alberta
Closed for the season
Space Weather
Solar storms, Auroras
Thesaurus
NASA Multimedia Gallery Sky Map: the interactive planetarium of the Web
Sky Watch: Calendar of celestial events
Weather Underground
Maps and Satellite
Do, Please Feed
Dear Webby!
Privacy Policy
Unique visitors since 1/1/11
Have FUN
Dear Webby
CEO of Webby, Inc
DearWebby @ webby.com
Box 646
Black Diamond, AB T0L 0H0
Canada |
|
