Good Morning, Do, Today is Friday, June 23 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! Thank you, Frank!!! Have Fun! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Florida mother arrested for trying to give away 2 year old son in parking lot Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, June 23 in 2015 Verizon announced it had completed its $4.4 billion purchase of AOL, Inc. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist, it's another nonconformist who doesn't conform to the prevailing standard of nonconformity. --- Bill Vaughan When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. --- Henny Youngman (1906 - 1998) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Passing an office building late one night, Gus saw a sign that said, "Press the bell for the night watchman." He did so, and after several minutes he heard the watchman clomping down the stairs. The uniformed man proceeded to unlock first one gate, then another, shut down the alarm system, and then coming through the revolving door, he looked at Gus and asked, "Well, what do you want?" And Gus says, "I just want to know why you can't ring the bell for yourself. Why do I have to ring it for you ?" _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A teacher was teaching his kids about survival in the desert. "What are the three most important things you should bring with you in case you get lost in the desert?" he asked. Several hands went up, and many important things were suggested such as food, matches, etc. Then Do in the back eagerly raised a hand. "Yes, Do, what are the three most important things you would bring with you?" asked the teacher. Do replied, "A compass, a canteen of water, and a deck of cards." "Why's that, Do?" the teacher asked. "Well," answered Do, "the compass is to find the right direction, the water is to prevent dehydration." "And what about the deck of cards?" asked the teacher. "Well, Sir, as soon as you start playing Solitaire, someone is bound to come up behind you and say, 'Put that red nine on top of that black ten'!" ______________________________________________________ Fireweed, the official flower of the Yukon _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Amber Warner, 31, Vero Beach, Floriduh Florida mother arrested for trying to give away 2 year old son in parking lot A Florida mother allegedly tried to give her son away to strangers in a restaurant parking lot. Amber Warner, 31, is accused of trying to give her 2-year-old son away in the parking lot of a Kountry Kitchen in Vero Beach, according to WPLG. Authorities say that Warner told the couple I can't do it, before placing the child on the ground and driving off. She was later found at her home, where she was arrested and charged with unlawful desertion of a child and resisting arrest without violence. The child was placed under the care of the Florida Department of Children and Families and appeared to be in good health. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Vi Re: Paper or e-books Dear Webby, I am planning to take a course and have a choice to get the material on paper books or on e-books. The e-book version is a lot cheaper, of course. Which version would you recommend? Vi Dear Vi I would recommen the e-book version without the slightest hesitation. With e-books you CAN print them, if you need paper. You can even print just those pages that you want, like indexes or summaries. You can also take screen captures of paragraphs or illustrations and paste those into word processor documents. With e-books you aren't just saving trees and money, you are getting a lot more value. Have FUN! DearWebby Little Johnny and his family lived in the country, and as a result seldom had guests. He was eager to help his mother after his father appeared with two dinner guests from the office. When the dinner was nearly over, Little Johnny went to the kitchen and proudly carried in the first piece of apple pie, giving it to his father who passed it to a guest. Little Johnny came in with a second piece of pie and gave it to his father, who again gave it to a guest. This was too much for Little Johnny, who said, "It's no use, Dad. The pieces are all the same size." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Reheat Pizza in a Frying Pan By lalala... [827 Posts, 105 Comments] A great way to reheat leftover pizza is in a frying pan. Place the pizza in the frying pan over medium heat. Slices of pizza in a frying pan Cover loosely with a piece of aluminum foil that is domed in the center so it doesn't stick to the cheese. Frying pan with aluminium foil It can burn quickly so check it every few minutes until it is heated through and is crispy enough for you on the bottom. The result is a crispy crust, instead of the rubbery, soggy crust you get when microwaved. ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a women are their eyes. Women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars, and if they were noticing that women have eyes, the bra padding industry would go broke. ___________________________________________________ | | Creatures that don't live in our world. |
>From Flo: Dear Webby, can you bring back that list of silly laws that you once printed? Thanks, Flo Sure, Flo. Here they are: In Klamath Falls, Oregon, it is illegal to kick the heads off snakes. Anyone stealing citrus fruit in Yuma, Arizona can legally be given castor oil as punishment. The California penal code prohibits the shooting of any animal, except a whale, from an automobile. It is illegal to wear a mask in Denver, Colorado. In Kentucky there is a law against sleeping in a restaurant. In Idaho you cannot fish for trout from the back of a giraffe. An old Boston law prohibited citizens from taking more than one bath each week. If a Michigan woman leaves her husband, then he is entitled to take possession of all her clothing. In Idaho you cannot buy a chicken after dark without permission from the sheriff. Setting fire to a mule is prohibited in Maine. It is a crime in several states to dance to the "The Star Spangled Banner." It was once illegal in Boston Massachusetts to own a dog more than ten inches high. Public checker-playing is against the law in La Crosse, Wisconsin. In St. Louis Missouri it is against the law to let rubbish collect on your roof. Alabama: It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle. Connecticut: You can be stopped by the police for biking over 65 miles per hour. You are not allowed to walk across a street on your hands. Florida: Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner. A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing. If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle. It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit. (Topless is OK, just not in a swim suit) Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown. Illinois: It is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animal kept as pets. Indiana: Bathing is prohibited during the winter. | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
____________________________________________________ Couples who have lived together a long time have their own way of communicating. A friend overheard her aunt and uncle one day: "What are you looking for in that closet?" she asked. "Nothing," he answered. "Well, they're not in there. Look under the bed." ____________________________________________________ | Today, on June 23, in 1683 William Penn signed a friendship treaty with Lenni Lenape Indians in Pennsylvania. 1700 Russia gave up its Black Sea fleet as part of a truce with the Ottoman Empire. 1758 British and Hanoverian armies defeated the French at Krefeld in Germany. 1760 The Austrians defeated the Prussians at Landshut, Germany. 1757 Robert Clive defeated the Indians at Plassey and won control of Bengal. 1836 The U.S. Congress approved the Deposit Act, which contained a provision for turning over surplus federal revenue to the states. 1848 A bloody insurrection of workers in Paris erupted. 1865 Confederate General Stand Watie, who was also a Cherokee chief, surrendered the last sizable Confederate army at Fort Towson, in the Oklahoma Territory. 1868 Christopher Latham Sholes received a patent for an invention that he called a "Type-Writer." 1884 A Chinese Army defeated the French at Bacle, Indochina. 1902 Germany, Austria-Hungary, and Italy renewed the Triple Alliance for a 12 year duration. 1904 The first American motorboat race got underway on the Hudson River in New York. 1926 The first lip reading tournament in America was held in Philadelphia, PA. 1931 Wiley Post and Harold Gatty took off from New York on the first round-the-world flight in a single-engine plane. 1934 Italy gained the right to colonize Albania after defeating the country. 1938 The Civil Aeronautics Authority was established. 1947 The U.S. Senate joined the House in overriding President Truman's veto of the Taft-Hartley Act. 1951 Soviet U.N. delegate Jacob Malik proposed cease-fire discussions in the Korean War. 1952 The U.S. Air Force bombed power plants on Yalu River, Korea. 1956 Gamal Abdel Nasser was elected president of Egypt. 1966 Civil Rights marchers in Mississippi were dispersed by tear gas. 1972 U.S. President Nixon and White House chief of staff H.R. Haldeman discussed a plan to use the CIA to obstruct the FBI's Watergate investigation. 2003 Apple Computer Inc. unveiled the new Power Mac desktop computer. 2004 The U.S. proposed that North Korea agree to a series of nuclear disarmament measures over a three-month period in exchange for economic benefits. 2013 In Arizona, aerialist Nik Wallenda completed a quarter mile tightrope walk over the Little Colorado River Gorge. 2015 NASA's Mars Odyssey completed its 60,000th orbit around Mars. The spacecraft entered orbit on October 23, 2001. 2015 Verizon announced it had completed its $4.4 billion purchase of AOL, Inc. 2017 Do smiled. |
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