Good Morning, Do, Today is Thursday, November 9 Have Fun! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Man Arrested On Meth Charges Wears Ironic T-Shirt In Mug Shot Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, November 9 in 1911 George Claude of Paris, France, applied for a patent on neon advertising signs. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ Why do you have to be a nonconformist like everybody else? --- James Thurber (1894 - 1961) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Gloria for this story: Fresh from the shower, a woman stands in front of the mirror, complaining to her husband that her breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling her it's not so, the husband uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds." Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper, stands in front of the mirror and rubs it between her breasts. "How long will this take?" she asks. "They'll grow larger over a period of years," he replies. The wife stops, getting suspicious. "Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make them bigger over the years?" "Worked for your butt, didn't it?" He lived, and with some therapy, he may even walk again... _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ One evening, a wife drew her husband's attention to the couple next door and said, "Do you see that couple? How devoted they are? He kisses her every time they meet. Why don't you do that?" "I would love to," replied the husband, "Just sidetrack her hubby for a few minutes." ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! _____________________________________________________ Sleeping is not just for meetings any more! Australia - News.com Rather than crumbling into unsightly heaps on their desks, Sydney workers may soon have access to a comfortable and legitimate place to nap at their offices. MetroNaps Australia launched its sleep pods in the foyer of the ABN AMRO building, on the corner of Phillip and Bent Sts in the city. Busy workers are invited to stop in and put up their feet for 20 minutes to relax and rejuvenate in style. Nappers' privacy is secured by the darkness of the dome shaped pod, which lets them drift into a light sleep to the sound of relaxing music on a pair of headphones. It is a pastime that people in Copenhagen and New York are already starting to enjoy. "A nap will improve mood levels, information processing abilities and production levels of staff." Following an efficient 20-minute nap at noon yesterday, futures broker Mark Bryant said the time out was well-spent. "I found especially the music and blackout effect helped clear my mind to be able to refocus," he said. _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Adrian Harold Pounders, Crocket, Texas Man Arrested On Meth Charges Wears Ironic T-Shirt In Mug Shot A Texas man was wearing an anti-drug T-shirt when he was arrested last weekend for alleged possession of methamphetamine. In his booking photograph, Adrian Harold Pounders wore a top that read DontMethWithMe.org. The web address he proudly promoted on his chest ironically links to an anti-meth drive that warns Texans about the dangers of the highly addictive drug. Pounders, 47, was detained when cops raided his home in Crockett on Sunday. According to a Crockett Police Department Facebook post, the officers executed a search warrant after being tipped off during an earlier traffic stop that illegal narcotics were located inside his residence. While executing the search warrant officers recovered methamphetamine, and numerous items of drug paraphernalia, the Facebook post adds. The value of the drugs has not been revealed. Pounders was charged with felony possession of a controlled substance and misdemeanor possession of drug paraphernalia, reports KYTX. He also faces charges of abandoning or endangering a child, as his 13-month-old son was at the property. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Anita Re: PayPal Congratulation mail Dear Webby, Dear Webby, I got some mails, supposedly from PayPal, that start with Congratulations Dear Lucky Winning, We are very happy to inform you ... Are they scam or should I tell them what they ask for? Anita Dear Anita PayPal and Facebook already have all your data. They dont need some turdy spam to con it out of you. I got those scam-spam letters too, saw them in Mailwasher, already flagged for deleting. I thought it was rather hilarious that you were supposed to send your street address to fundoffice.internationalmonetary@yahoo.com @yahoo.com ! Just have a quick laugh and dump it. Have FUN! DearWebby One weekend my friend, a nurse, was looking after her six year old nephew when he fell off a playground slide and hit his head. Worried that he might have a concussion, she checked him all night. Every hour, she'd gently shake him and ask, "What's your name?" Soon, he began moaning in protest each time she entered the room. When she went in at 5 A.M., she found something white on his forehead. Leaning close, she saw a crayon-scrawled message taped to his forehead. It read, "My name is Daniel." --------------------- They usually just do that with serious head injuries and brain surgery, but some nurses can get quite carried away. I remember one who insisted on writing her name and the time of each check onto the sole of my right foot with a fine point ball pen. And when she ran out of space, she continued on my left foot. I tell ya, that can wake a guy out of the most cozy coma! | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
>From Trevor: DRAWBACKS OF WORKING IN A CUBICLE [Or, "Welcome to my life."] * Not being able to check E-mail attachments without first seeing who's behind you. * Fabric walls offer little protection from gunfire. * The walls are too close together for the hammock to work right. * Prison cells are not only bigger, they have beds. * When you quit and walk out, there's no door to slam. * Being told to "think outside the box" when you're in a freakin' box all day long. * 23 power cords - 1 outlet. * The carpet has been there since 1976 (or before) and shows more signs of life than your coworkers. * If you talk to yourself it causes all the surrounding cubicle inhabitants to pop their heads over the wall and say "What? I didn't hear you." * You always have the feeling that someone is watching you, but by the time you turn to look they're gone. * When you kill a fly with your 16 inch plastic ruler, a dozen people dial 911 to report the shooting. ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Get Firewood Now, Don't Wait for Winter You can save money on firewood by getting it in early summer and late spring. For starters, you pay a premium the closer you get to cold weather. And, you don't have to limit yourself to buying firewood that is completely dry, it will cure over the summer months and be ready to burn when you need it. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ A traveling evangelist always put on a grand finale at his revival meetings, When he was to preach at a church, he would secretly hire a small boy to sit in the ceiling rafters with a dove in a cage. Toward the end of his sermon, the preacher would shout for the Holy Spirit to come down, and the boy in the rafters would dutifully release the dove. At one revival meeting, however, nothing happened when the preacher called for the Holy Spirit to descend. He again raised his arms and exclaimed: "Come down, Holy Spirit!" Still no sign of the dove. The preacher then heard the anxious voice of a small boy call down from the rafters: "Sir, a big black cat just ate the Holy Spirit. Shall I throw down the cat?" __________________________________________________ | | Strange growing rocks in Romania. |
NEWS FLASH! - Brian/College Station's worst disaster occurred when a small two-seater Cessna 150 plane, piloted by two Texas A&M students, crashed into a cemetery earlier today. Search and Rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect the number to climb as digging continues into the evening. The pilot and copilot survived and are helping in the recovery efforts. ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, "What was your last known position?" Student: "When I was number one for takeoff." ____________________________________________________ | Today, November 9, in 1872 A fire destroyed about 800 buildings in Boston, MA. 1906 U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt left for Panama to see the progress on the new canal. It was the first foreign trip by a U.S. president. 1911 George Claude of Paris, France, applied for a patent on neon advertising signs. 1918 Germany's Kaiser Wilhelm II announced he would abdicate. He then fled to the Netherlands. 1923 In Munich, the Beer Hall Putsch was crushed by German troops that were loyal to the democratic government. The event began the evening before when Adolf Hitler took control of a beer hall full of Bavarian government leaders at gunpoint. 1935 United Mine Workers president John L. Lewis and other labor leaders formed the Committee for Industrial Organization. 1938 Nazi troops and sympathizers destroyed and looted 7,500 Jewish businesses, burned 267 synagogues, killed 91 Jews, and rounded up over 25,000 Jewish men in an event that became known as Kristallnacht or "Night of Broken Glass." 1953 The U.S. Supreme Court upheld a 1922 ruling that major league baseball did not come within the scope of federal antitrust laws. 1961 Major Robert White flew an X-15 rocket plane at a world record speed of 4,093 mph. 1963 In Japan, about 450 miners were killed in a coal-dust explosion. 1963 In Japan, 160 people died in a train crash. 1965 The great Northeast blackout occurred as several states and parts of Canada were hit by a series of power failures lasting up to 13 1/2 hours. 1967 A Saturn V rocket carrying an unmanned Apollo spacecraft blasted off from Cape Kennedy on a successful test flight. 1976 The U.N. General Assembly approved ten resolutions condemning the apartheid government in South Africa. 1979 The United Nations Security Council unanimously called upon Iran to release all American hostages "without delay." Militants, mostly students had taken 63 Americans hostage at the U.S. embassy in Tehran, Iran, on November 4. 1981 U.S. troops began arriving in Egypt for a three-week Rapid Deployment Force excercise. Somalia, Sudan and Oman were also involved in the operation. 1981 The Internation Monetary Fund approved a $5.8 billion loan to India. It was the highest loan to date. 1982 Sugar Ray Leonard retired from boxing. In 1984 Leonard came out of retirement to fight one more time before becoming a boxing commentator for NBC. 1984 A bronze statue titled "Three Servicemen," by Frederick Hart, was unveiled at the site of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Washington, DC. 1989 Communist East Germany opened its borders, allowing its citizens to travel freely to West Germany. 1990 Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev signed a non- aggression treaty with Germany. 1992 Russian President Boris Yeltsin, visiting London, appealed for assistance in rescheduling his country's debt, and asked British businesses to invest. 2004 U.S. First Lady Laura Bush officially reopened Pennsylvania Avenue in front of the White House to pedestrians. 2017 Do smiled. |
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