Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, July 7 _____________________________________________________ Today, July 7  1983 Eleven-year-old Samantha Smith of Manchester, Maine, left for a visit to the Soviet Union at the personal invitation of Soviet leader Yuri V. Andropov. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
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 Today's Bonehead Award: 34-year-old woman has to be cut free from toddler's plastic car with a bread knife  ! ! ! ! _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  _______________________________________________ The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream. --- Bill Murray (1950 - ) The only function of economic forecasting is to make astrology look respectable. --- John Kenneth Galbraith _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Roland for this Classic: I needed some supplies from a Sunday school cupboard that was seldom used and was secured with a lock. I didn't know the combination, but our clergyman offered to give it a try. Father Jack placed his fingers on the lock's dial and raised his eyes heavenward for a moment. Then he confidently spun the dial and opened the lock. Seeing how impressed I was with this demonstration of faith, he smiled and confided, "The numbers are written on the ceiling." ______________________________________________________`   Fairport Harbor West Breakwater Lighthouse Thanks, Nancy Cline, for this awesome photo of today's #LakeErieWaterspout. A "waterspout" is a tornado sucking up incredible amounts of water. _____________________________________________________ 
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 ___________________________________________________   An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by   Zoe Archibald, 34, Brechin, Angus, Scotland  34-year-old woman has to be cut free from toddler's plastic car with a bread knife A woman somehow managed to get wedged inside her toddler cousin's plastic ride-on Little Tikes car. Zoe Archibald, 34, climbed into the toy for a joke, but ended up so stuck that there was no way out. She tried to wriggle free for an hour, but in the end the whole car had to be sacrificed to set her free. Her dad Kevin used a bread knife to saw through the plastic chassis and free her. We can't imagine the car's owner was too impressed by all this. Her nephew Matthew Shepherd-Bull, 26, who filmed her release, said: 'There was no way she could get herself out. 'She was in there for an hour. We had to cut the back off the car to get her out. 'No matter what we did she wasn't able to get out. Everyone found it funny, even Zoe. 'She was a bit panicked but mainly found it funny. It was just a joke. 'Her dad had to cut her out. The best thing we could find was a bread knife It took about 15 minutes to cut through the plastic.' Zoe, from Brechin, Angus, Scotland, got trapped during a family gathering on Friday after she joked about how she thought she could fit into the tiny plastic car. She soon realised she couldn't climb in, so it was placed over her head, but the car got jammed around her midriff. The video shows Zoe with the car stuck on around her back, with its roof jammed into the back of her neck. Oops. At least they didn't have to call the fire brigade.  
 DearWebby's Tech Support Pits  From: Carol Re: PDF  Dear Webby Do I understand you correctly in that we can download Open Office at your tool box site, copy our word documents over to Open Office because Open Office will convert the document to a PDF? If I'm correct so far, does that mean we can also save it as a PDF and open it as a PDF? I have copied PDF files, wanting to use them some place else and when I open the PDF file to read it I get mumbo-jumbo...all types of alphabet and numbers mixed up (like a code). This procedure (Word to PDF and save as PDF and open PDF and be able to read it) would be great and very handy for me. Thank you for your continued help. I do not miss a day of reading your Web site! Carol  Dear Carol yes, Open Office will open your WORD, WordPerfect, whatever, documents and spreadsheets, and even lets you save them in those formats, not just in industry standard, platform independent Open Document spec. For example, if you have an aunt that still uses StarWriter, you can save it in that format too. If you need something in PDF format, for example a contract or form, to make sure that nobody can make changes on it, and to make sure everybody sees it in exactly the same way, no matter what kind of computer they use, or to upload it to Staples for printing thousands of copies, then you hit ALT F, D (or click on File, Export as PDF ), and it makes a PDF file. That action does not destroy or change your document or it's name or format. It's just like a Print To File, or a snapshot of how it would look if printed at that moment. PDF is a one way street. Think of it as a picture of how a print job would look like, if you printed it right now, and have that picture exported as a PDF file for printing later, when your paper order gets delivered, or when you get a moment of privacy at the big laser printer at work. If you think you might want to edit it some day, then you keep the original file, from which you exported a print job snapshot to PDF, edit that, and make a fresh export. To just read PDF files you use FoxIt or Adobe Reader, or any PDF reader. They are free in my tool box at http://webby.com/tools Or Open Office, of course. Just keep in mind that PDF files are viewable print jobs, like a print preview, not editable text files. You edit the document or spreadsheet, which you "printed" to PDF format, not the snapshot picture. PDF files CAN be created with editable form fields, like your tax forms or membership forms or order forms. You can fill them out, but you can not edit the instructions or the small print. Because it is nearly impossible to "harvest" a PDF file, when you write an eBook and print it to PDF, nobody can just edit it a bit and put their name in there as the author. The same goes for invoices, contracts, RFQ's (Request for Quotes), etc. People can't change them. Have FUN! DearWebby 
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 The church was having a play, and one of the women was supposed to say, "The ass stuck his head out the window and brayed." The woman didn't want to say "ass" in church and asked if she could change the word to "donkey". The other members insisted that she call it an ass, because that's what it was called in the Bible. One person reminded her of the story about Jesus riding an ass into Jerusalem. The woman worried about her line right up until the fateful day of the play. When her turn came, she stood up in front of the congregation and yelled: "The donkey stuck his ass out the window and prayed." 
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 Sparkling chilled white wine instead of water flowed from the taps during the Marino Grape Festival and as part of the event free wine flows from the main fountain in the square too. However, due to a technical error the pipes from the local vineyard which supply the marble fountain were switched to the domestic supply feeding homes at Marino, in the famous wine-making Alban Hills, south of Rome. When mayor Adriano Palozzi, a priest and locals gathered round the fountain following a prayer of thanks to the Virgin Mary, with plastic glasses at the ready for Marino DOC they were left disappointed as instead of fresh wine, out poured the usual water. Then came the shout of "miracolo" from one house overlooking the square and a local rushed out onto her balcony to reveal that wine was flowing from her kitchen tap. One local named as Anna said, "I was in the kitchen ready to do the housework and filled up a bucket with water. "I was going to mop the floor with it but I immediately noticed a sweet smell from the tap and it was also slightly yellow - I recognized instantly it was wine. I called my neighbors and they turned on their taps and it was the same - the word quickly spread and everyone filled up bottles and plastic containers with the wine." "It all happened at the same time as Sagra dell Uva Grape Festival so everyone thought it was a miracle - I don't think that the mayor and the other officials were very happy though." Mayor Palozzi said: "It was a surprise and completely unexpected - workmen are fixing the problem which obviously came about through a technical error. ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Don't Buy Items Under Stress Don't buy items when you are stressed out or anxious. Always be prepared to leave a store or a car lot if you don't feel comfortable with your purchase. If you get home and have buyer's remorse, go ahead at take the item back immediately. Any reputable store will allow you to return the item. thriftyfun.Com   ____________________________________________________   
  
A Turkish couple arguing. 
 ___________________________________________________ An American scientist once visited the offices of the great Nobel Prize-winning physicist, Neils Bohr, in Copenhagen, and was amazed to find that over his desk a horseshoe was nailed to the wall. The American said with a nervous laugh, "Surely you don't believe that a horseshoe will bring you good luck, do you, Professor Bohr?" Bohr chuckled. "I believe no such thing, my good friend. Not at all. I am scarcely likely to believe in such foolish nonsense. However, I am told that a horseshoe will bring you good luck whether you believe in it or not!" ___________________________________________________ While flying over a remote part of the Irish coastline, our helicopter lost power and had to make an emergency landing on one of the small nearby islands. Fortunately there was a small cottage nearby. We walked over to it and the pilot rapped on the door. "Is there a mechanic in the area?" he asked the woman who answered. She scratched her head and thought for a few seconds, then replied, "No." Then she pointed down the road and said, "but we do have a McArdle and a McKay." __________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 A man is applying for a job as mechanic that he really wants to get. The boss says, "Can you roll your hard hat down your arm and pop it back on your head?" The mechanic nods, confused. "Can you play light saber with your wrench and another man's screwdriver?" "Oh yes," says the mechanic. "Can you bounce your screwdriver off the cement, grab it, whirl it around and put it in your belt like a gun?" "Sir, I've been doing that for years!" says the wanna-be mechanic. "Well in that case, I can't use you. I have 12 men doing that already!" says the boss. ___________________________________________________  
 Today, July 7 in 1754 Kings College opened in New York City. It was renamed Columbia College 30 years later. 1846 U.S. annexation of California was proclaimed at Monterey after the surrender of a Mexican garrison. 1862 The first railroad post office was tested on the Hannibal and St. Joseph Railroad in Missouri. 1885 G. Moore Peters patented the cartridge-loading machine. 1917 Aleksandr Kerensky formed a provisional government in Russia. 1920 A device known as the radio compass was used for the first time on a U.S. Navy airplane near Norfolk, VA. 1930 Construction began on Boulder Dam, later Hoover Dam, on the Colorado River. 1937 Japanese forces invaded China. 1946 Mother Frances Xavier Cabrini was canonized as the first American saint. 1950 The U.N. Security Council authorized military aid for South Korea. 1969 Canada's House of Commons gave final approval to a measure that made the French language equal to English throughout the national government. 1981 U.S. President Reagan announced he was nominating Arizona Judge Sandra Day O'Connor to become the first female justice on the U.S. Supreme Court. 1983 Eleven-year-old Samantha Smith of Manchester, Maine, left for a visit to the Soviet Union at the personal invitation of Soviet leader Yuri V. Andropov. 1987 Public testimony at the Iran-Contra hearing began. 1994 Amazon.com, Inc. was founded in Seattle, Washington under the name "Cadabra." 1998 A jury in Santa Monica, CA, convicted Mikail Markhasev of murdering Ennis Cosby, Bill Cosby's only son, during a roadside robbery. 1999 In Sierra Leone, President Ahmad Tejan Kabbah and rebel leader Foday Sankoh signed a pact to end the nation's civil war. 2000 Cisco Systems Inc. announced that it would buy Netiverse Inc. for $210 million in stock. It was the 13th time Cisco had purchased a company in 2000. 2000 Amazon.com announced that they had sold almost 400,000 copies of "Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire," making it the biggest selling book in e-tailing history. 2019 Do smiled.