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___________________________________________________ History: on this day, January 23, in 2002, John Walker Lindh returned to the U.S. under FBI custody. Lindh was charged with conspiring to kill U.S. citizens, providing support to terrorists and engaging in prohibited transactions with the Taliban while a member of the al-Quaida terrorist organization in Afghanistan. He has been released by Obama. ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award: Dopey man drove without tires for miles efore causing Glendale crash _____________________________________________________ Q People everywhere confuse what they read in newspapers with news. --- A. J. Liebling (1904 - 1963) An inventor is simply a fellow who doesn't take his education too seriously. --- Charles F. Kettering (1876 - 1958) ____________________________________________________ An old farmer wrote to a giant mail order company and asked for the price of their toilet paper. The company wrote back telling him to look on page #346 of their catalog. He wrote another letter to the company that said: "If you had not stopped sending me catalogs, I would not need any toilet paper." __________________________________________________ Girls are attracted to boys, even at an early age. At an early age, boys are attracted to dirt. __________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An International Bonehead Award has been earned by (Old mug shot) Emil Kolenovic, 35, Glendale, Arizona, USA Dopey man drove without tires for miles efore causing Glendale crash A man drove four miles without any tires before crashing into a car in Glendale, police said. 35-year-old Emil Kolenovic was found unconscious in the driver's seat by the time officers arrived on Jan. 17. His tires were reportedly blown out for some time before the accident happened. Police say he was driving under the influence of drugs. A handgun, knife, 29 grams of methamphetamine and 228 fentanyl pills were allegedly found in his car. Kolenovic was booked into jail on several charges, including weapons misconduct, drug possession, DUI, and tampering with physical evidence. ___________________________________________________ Meakah Lynn Quite the exciting morning....woke up to a whole lot of ruckus from my family of magpies so I went out to investigate.... look what I found!! Great Horned Owl (Jan 21, 2023, Edmonton) ___________________________________________________ The pastor was doing is weekly "children's message" with the children gathered around him down front. He was talking to the youngsters on their level about being good and going to heaven. At the end of his talk, he asked, "Where do you want to go?" "Heaven!" one of the girls cried out enthusiastically. "And what do you have to be to get there?" the preacher asked. "Dead!" yelled one of the boys. ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ George and Nancy get along just great, except that she's a "backseat driver" second to none. After years of putting up with her pestering, he finally decided he had enough and advised her that he would no longer drive with her in the car. Later that day, on his way home from doing some shopping at the mall, he heard his cell phone ring, just as he was merging onto a freeway. It was Nancy. By chance, she had entered the freeway right behind George. "Honey," she said, "your turn signal is still on. And put on your lights; it's starting to rain." ____________________________________________________ Two English ladies were discussing their vacation plans on a London bus near an Irish lady. "We're planning a lovely holiday in Devon this year," said one. "Oh you oughtn't to do that," said the other, "there are Irish there! It would be awful." "Dear me!" said the first lady. "well where are you going?" "Salisbury," she replied. "But Salisbury is simply crawling with Irish!" the first lady objected. At this point the Irish lady could no longer hold her tounge. "Why don't ye go t' hell," she suggested. "There be no Irish there!" __________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! _____________________________________________________ "I presume, Mrs Murphy, you carry a memento of some sort in that locket of yours?" "Indeed I do, sir, it's a lock of my Dan's hair." "But your husband is still alive." "that he is," said she "but his hair is long gone!" ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Casey and Riley agreed to settle their dispute by a fight, and it was understood that whoever wanted to quit should say "Enough." Casey got Riley down and was hammering him unmercifully when Riley called out several times, "Enough!" As Casey paid no attention, but kept on administering punishment, a bystander said, "Why don't you let him up? Don't you hear him say that he's had enough?" "I do," says Casey, "but he's such a liar, you can't believe him." ____________________________________________________ As the storm raged, the captain realized his ship was sinking fast. He called out, "Anyone here know how to pray?" One man stepped forward, "Aye, Captain, I know how to pray." "Good," said the captain, "you pray while the rest of us put on our life jackets - we're one short." ____________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits FROM: Elsie RE: Pet Alley Dear Webby Yes, I do remember you installing a "Pet Alley" motion detector in my bedroom in the 90s and we had a good laugh about that. In those days I was "Elsa". That pup has gone over the rainbow bridge but the current one has figured it out and knows how to turn the light on by jumping straight up. I also have a cat that thinks my Roomba is a cat UBER. If it gets stuck behind a boot, she nudges it free and drags it to the re-charge nook. I remember you had to use a relay to link the motion detector to the ceiling light. Is that still the case, or have they figured out how to power big stuff on and off, like my garage door? Elsie Dear Elsie Yes, I remember you and the quite unforgettable testing fun. Just go to Home Depot and get an outdoor motion activated light and a light socket powered dual outlet. Unscrew the lightbulb, screw in the dual outlet, and plug your garage door opener into that. Have FUN DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Two Irish mothers were talking about their sons. The first said, "My Patrick is such a saint. He works hard, doesn't smoke, and he hasn't so much as looked at a woman in over two years." The other woman said, "Well, my Francis is a saint himself. Not only hasn't he not looked at a woman in over three years, but he hasn't touched a drop of liquor in all that time." "My word," the first Irish mother said. "You must be so proud." "I am," the second mother replied. "And when he's paroled next month, I'm going to throw him one heck of a big party." ____________________________________________________ Today, January 23 in 1556, An earthquake in Shanxi Province, China, was thought to have killed about 830,000 people. 1571, The Royal Exchange in London, founded by financier Thomas Gresham, was opened by Queen Elizabeth I. 1789, Georgetown College was established as the first Catholic college in the U.S. The school is in Washington, DC. 1845, The U.S. Congress decided all national elections would be held on the first Tuesday after the first Monday in November. 1849, English-born Elizabeth Blackwell became the first woman in America to receive medical degree. It was from the Medical Institution of Geneva, NY. 1907, Charles Curtis, of Kansas, began serving in the United States Senate. He was the first American Indian to become a U.S. Senator. He resigned in March of 1929 to become U.S. President Herbert Hoovers Vice President. 1920, The Dutch government refused the demands from the Allies to hand over the ex-kaiser of Germany. 1924, The first Labour government was formed, under Ramsay MacDonald. 1937, In Moscow, seventeen people went on trial during Josef Stalin's "Great Purge." 1943, Duke Ellington and the band played for a black-tie crowd at Carnegie Hall in New York City for the first time. 1943, The British captured Tripoli from the Germans. 1950, The Israeli Knesset approved a resolution proclaiming Jerusalem as the capital of Israel. 1960, The U.S. Navy bathyscaphe Trieste descended to a record depth of 35,820 feet (10,750 meters) in the Pacific Ocean. 1964, Ratification of the 24th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was completed. This amendment eliminated the poll tax in federal elections. 1968, North Korea seized the U.S. Navy ship Pueblo, charging it had intruded into the nation's territorial waters on a spying mission. The crew was released 11 months later. The Pueblo is a tourist attraction in North Korea. 1971, In Prospect Creek Camp, AK, the lowest temperature ever recorded in the U.S. was reported as minus 80 degrees. 1973, U.S. President Nixon announced that an accord had been reached to end the Vietnam War. 1974, Mike Oldfields "Tubular Bells" opened the credits of the movie, "The Exorcist". 1977, The TV mini-series "Roots," began airing on ABC. The show was based on the Alex Haley novel. 1978, Sweden banned aerosol sprays because of damage to environment. They were the first country to do so. 1985, O.J. Simpson became the first Heisman Trophy winner to be elected to pro footballs Hall of Fame in Canton, OH. 1985, The proceedings of the House of Lords were televised for the first time. 1989, Surrealist artist Salvador Dali died in Spain at age 84. 1997, A judge in Fairfax, VA, sentenced Mir Aimal Kasi to death for an assault rifle attack outside the CIA headquarters in 1993 that killed two men and wounded three other people. 1997, A British woman received a record 186,000 damages for Repetitive Strain Injury (RSI). 2001, A van used by the remaining two fugitives of the "Texas 7" was recovered in Colorado Springs, CO. A few hours later police surrounded a hotel where the convicts were hiding. Patrick Murphy Jr. and Donald Newbury were taken into custody the next morning without incident. 2002, John Walker Lindh returned to the U.S. under FBI custody. Lindh was charged with conspiring to kill U.S. citizens, providing support to terrorists and engaging in prohibited transactions with the Taliban while a member of the al-Quaida terrorist organization in Afghanistan. He has been released by Obama. 2003, North Korea announced that it would consider sanctions an act of war for North Korea's reinstatement of its nuclear program. 2017, In Bel air, Los Angeles, the most expensive house, known as the "Billionaire," in the United States went on the market at $250 million. It eventually sold for $94 million. 2022 Do smiled.
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