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___________________________________________________ History: on this day, October 31, in 1968, U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson ordered a halt to all U.S. bombing of North Vietnam. ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award goes to Indiana residents fight back, take down would-be armed robber in apartment break-in ____________________________________________________ Regret for wasted time is more wasted time. --- Mason Cooley, O Magazine, April 2004 It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are difficult. --- Seneca (5 BC - 65 AD) Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it. --- Jane Wagner ___________________________________________________ The case concerned a will and Kelly was a witness. The attorney asked:"Was the deceased in the habit of talking to himself when he was alone?" "I don't know," said Kelly. "Come now man, you don't know and yet you pretend you were intimately acquainted with the deceased?" "Well, Mr. Lawyer," said Kelly, "I never happened to be with him when he was alone. " _____________________________________________________ "Mom, you'd better come outside! I've just knocked over the ladder at the side of the house." "I'm busy. Go and tell your father." "He already knows. He's hanging from the roof." __________________________________________________ Reported by Rock: An International Bonehead Award has been earned by Marrell B. Tyler, 18, Merrillville, Indiana, USA Indiana residents fight back, take down would-be armed robber in apartment break-in, and tenderize him. 18 year old Marrell B. Tyler of Merrillville, Indiana was arrested for burglary, a level 2 felony. A group of Indiana apartment residents beat up a would-be robber and kept him in custody using their own firearms until authorities could arrest him, police said. Kokomo police reported that Marrell Tyler, 18, received multiple facial injuries when he broke into the Annex of Kokomo apartments on Thursday at 3:25 a.m. Police responded quickly but arrived to find Tyler beat up and held at gunpoint, thanks to the actions of three men who had been inside the first apartment he had entered. The men told police that Tyler had entered the apartment wearing a ski mask and pointing a gun at them. They jumped him, knocking away the gun and pinning him down. Tyler pulled a second gun that went off but did not injure anyone. One of the men grabbed his own gun and used it to subdue Tyler until police could arrive. Tyler and the residents received multiple facial injuries, but only Tyler required immediate medical attention. Police took him to the hospital before taking him to Howard County Criminal Justice Center for holding. Police arrested Tyler on a burglary charge, which is a level 2 felony. The police continue to investigate the incident and will add more charges, for example carrying loaded guns while committing a felony. _____________________________________________________ San Francisco ___________________________________________________ "These hills are getting steeper as the years go by," one complained. "These fairways seem to be getting longer too," said one of the others. "The sand traps seem to be bigger than I remember them too," said the third senior. After hearing enough from his buddies, the oldest and the wisest of the four of them at 87 years old, piped up and said, "Just be thankful we're still on the right side of the grass!" ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ _________________________________________________ One night at an economy motel, Joe ordered a 6 a.m. wake-up call. The next morning, he awoke before 6, but the phone did not ring until 6:30. "Good morning," a young man said sheepishly. "This is your wake-up call." Annoyed, he let the hotel worker have it. "You were supposed to call me at 6!" Joe complained. "What if I had a million-dollar deal to close this morning, and your oversight made me miss out on it?" "Well, sir," the desk clerk quickly replied, "if you had a million-dollar deal to close, you probably would not be staying in this motel!" ____________________________________________________ Trina and Trisha, obviously nervous about their flight, bought some flight insurance at the terminal. They couldn't decide who to name as beneficiaries, however. Finally they ended up each naming the other and happily boarded the same plane. ================================================= DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From:Rose Re: Goverment grants Dear Webby I get a fair bit of mail about free government grants. What's the deal? Rose Dear Rose The same deal as with the Nigerian Scam. Always keep in mind that spammers lie. Even if you, after throwing away good money, get a list of government agencies that supposedly hand out grants, most of them you won't qualify for at all. I don't know of anybody who has ever received one of those supposedly free grants. Have FUN DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Ever notice that the people who are late are often much jollier than the people who have to wait for them? _____________________________________________________ Ophelia Dingbatter's News no sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt- in confirmation request. ____________________________________________________ Today, October 31, in 1517, Martin Luther posted the 95 Theses on the door of the Wittenberg Palace Church. The event marked the start of the Protestant Reformation in Germany. 1864, Nevada became the 36th state to join the U.S. 1868, Postmaster General Alexander Williams Randall approved a standard uniform for postal carriers. 1914, The Ottoman Empire (Turkey) joined the Central Powers (Germany, Austria-Hungary, and Bulgaria). 1922, Benito Mussolini became prime minister of Italy. 1926, Magician Harry Houdini died of gangrene and peritonitis resulting from a ruptured appendix. His appendix had been damaged twelve days earlier when he had been punched in the stomach by a student unexpectedly. During a lecture Houdini had commented on the strength of his stomach muscles and their ability to withstand hard blows. 1940, The British air victory in the Battle of Britain prevented Germany from invading Britain. 1941, Mount Rushmore was declared complete after 14 years of work. At the time the 60-foot busts of U.S. Presidents George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt and Abraham Lincoln were finished. 1941, The U.S. Navy destroyer Reuben James was torpedoed by a German submarine near Iceland. The U.S. had not yet entered World War II. More than 100 men were killed. 1952, The U.S. detonated its first hydrogen bomb. 1954, The Algerian National Liberation Front (FLN) began a revolt against French rule. 1956, Rear Admiral G.J. Dufek became the first person to land an airplane at the South Pole. Dufek also became the first person to set foot on the South Pole. 1959, Lee Harvey Oswald, a former U.S. Marine from Fort Worth, TX, announced that he would never return to the U.S. At the time he was in Moscow, Russia. 1961, In the Soviet Union, the body of Joseph Stalin was removed from Lenin's Tomb where it was on public display. 1968, U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson ordered a halt to all U.S. bombing of North Vietnam. 1969, Wal-Mart Discount City stores were incorporated as Wal-Mart Stores, Inc. 1981, Antiqua and Barbuda became independent of Great Britain. 1983, The U.S. Defense Department acknowledged that during the U.S. led invasion of Grenada, that a U.S. Navy plane had mistakenly bombed a civilian hospital. 1984, Indian Prime Minister Indira Gandhi was assassinated near her residence by two Sikh security guards. Her son, Rajiv, was sworn in as prime minister. 1992, In Liberia, it was announced that five American nuns had been killed near Monrovia. Rebels loyal to Charles Taylor were blamed for the murders. 1994, 68 people were killed when an American Eagle ATR-72, plunged into a northern Indiana farm. 1997, Louise Woodward, British au pair, was sentenced to life in prison after being convicted of second-degree murder in the death of 8-month-old Matthew Eappen. She was released after her sentence was reduced to manslaughter. 1998, Iraq announced that it was halting all dealings with U.N. arms inspectors. The inspectors were investigating the country's weapons of mass destruction stemming from Iraq's invasion of Kuwait in 1990. 1999, EgyptAir Flight 990 crashed off the coast of Nantucket, MA, killing all 217 people aboard. 1999, Leaders from the Roman Catholic Church and the Lutheran Church signed the Joint Declaration on the Doctrine of Justification. The event ended a centuries-old doctrinal dispute over the nature of faith and salvation. 2001, Microsoft and the U.S. Justice Department reached a tentative agreement to settle the antitrust case against the software company. 2007, Google shares hit $700 for the first time. 2008, Distribution Video Audio, Inc. shipped its final shipment of VHS tapes to stores. The company was the last major United States supplier of pre-recorded VHS tapes. 2022 Do smiled.
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