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| Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, September 17 ___________________________________________________ History on this day, september 17, in 1930, Construction on Boulder Dam, later renamed Hoover Dam, began in Black Canyon, near Las Vegas, NV. ____________________________________________________ international bonehead award CarJacker tenderized by Florida Chick-fil-A worker ____________________________________________________ The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it. --- Abbie Hoffman (1936 - 1989) There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn. --- Albert Camus (1913 - 1960) ___________________________________________________ A proud mother telephoned a Sunday newspaper to announce she had given birth to eight children. The line was bad, and the operator didn't hear the message. "Would you repeat that?", the operator asked. "Not if I can help it, " said the mother. ____________________________________________________ A not necessarily well-prepared student sat in his Life Science classroom, staring at a question on the final exam paper. The question directed: "Give four advantages of breast milk." What to write? He sighed, and began to scribble whatever came into his head, hoping for the best: 1. No need to boil. 2. Never goes sour. 3. Available whenever necessary. So far so good - maybe. But the exam demanded a fourth answer. Again, what to write? Once more, he sighed. He frowned. He scowled, then sighed again. Suddenly, he brightened. He grabbed his pen, and triumphantly, he scribbled his definitive answer: 4. Available in attractive containers of varying sizes. He received an A __________________________________________________ reported by rock an international bonehead award has been earned by William Branch, 43, Fort Walton Beach, Florida, USA Car Jacker tenderized by Florida Chick-fil-A worker A Florida Chick-fil-A employee is being hailed a hero after tackling a carjacker outside the restaurant and rescuing a woman and her baby. Deputies say this happened at a location in Fort Walton Beach, Florida on Wednesday. According to the Okaloosa County Sheriff's Office, the victim was getting her baby out of her car at the Chick-fil- A on Beal Parkway when she says 43-year-old William Branch approached her wielding a stick and demanding her keys. He then allegedly grabbed the keys from the waistband of her pants, opened her car door, and got inside. "When the victim began screaming for help, Thomas "Mykel" Gordon, an employee at Chick-fil-A ran to intervene." He attacked the car jacker, slammed him onto the pavement and tenderized him until the cops arrived and handcuffed the car jacker. A handful of other Chick-fil-A employees also came out and joined the fun. In video by Molly Kelner, the worker can be seen jumping on the suspect and wrestling the man to the ground as the woman stands by holding her baby. Despite being punched in the face, the young worker continued to wrestle Branch and made sure the punching was not one-sided. A bystander then shouts: "She had a baby in her hands, how dare you! How dare you scare her like that!" It is hard to tell in the video, but it looks like that bystander emphasized her comments with some well aimed kicks. Kelner told Storyful that the suspect was escorted out of the Chick-fil-A "by a manager". She said he then "turned around and started running toward this woman right after he was kicked out." She said he tried to get her car keys, but did not hit the baby." On Thursday, Okaloosa County Sheriff Eric Aden paid a visit to the restaurant to thank the employee, later identified as Thomas "Mykel" Gordon, for his quick actions in stopping the carjacking. _____________________________________________________ >rom Bella The company I work for offers tours through the historic district of Annapolis, Maryland, led by guides dressed in Colonial clothing. While leading a group, Felix, one of our guides, tripped and fell, breaking his wrist. He went to the hospital, and as he sat waiting in the emergency room, a policeman walked by. Doing a double take at Felix in his 18th-century garb, he asked, "Just how long have you been waiting?" _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ A man is a person who, if a woman says, "Never mind, I'll do it myself;", lets her. A woman is a person who, if she says to a man, "Never mind, I'll do it myself," and he lets her; gets mad. A man is a person who, if a woman says to him, "Never mind, I'll do it myself," and he lets her and she gets mad; says, "Now what are you mad about?" A woman is a person who, if she says to a man, "Never mind, I'll do it myself," and he lets her and she gets mad, and he says, "Now what are mad about?" says, "If you don't know I'm not going to tell you!" _____________________________________________________ @ Sergey Plash, Ukraine ___________________________________________________ Three very pious Jews dressed in long black coats with long beards were playing golf. A guy named Mulvaney wanted to play golf and this was the only threesome in which he could play. So, he joins the Rabbis and plays 18 holes. At the end of the 18 holes, his score was 104. The Rabbis had shot 69, 70 and 72. So, he says to the Rabbis, "How come you guys shoot such good golf?" The head Rabbi says, "When you lead a religious life, and attend the right synagogue, you are rewarded." Mulvaney, a true lover of golf, thinks: "What have I got to lose?" He converts to Judaism, joins a synagogue near his home, attends services regularly and leads a holy life. About a year later, he again plays golf with the three Rabbis. He shoots a 104 and they shoot a 69, 70 and 71. He says to them, "OK, I converted, I joined a Synagogue, I observe the Torah and I still shoot a 104. What's the deal?" "What synagogue did you join?" asks the head Rabbi. "Beth Shalom" is Mulvaney's reply. The Rabbi retorted: "Schmuck, that one is for tennis!" _________________________________________________ dearwebby's tech support pits from: Neil re: Pixeldrain Dear webby, transfer of pictures try a free fileshare website called pixeldrain https://pixeldrain.com/ Pixeldrain is a free file sharing service, you can upload any file and you will be given a shareable link right away. pixeldrain also supports previews for images, videos, audio, PDFs and much more. Neil Dear Neil Thank you very much! Dearwebby ___________________________________________________ >From Max When my youngest, Spud, was about 5, she'd ask about a zillion questions a day. "What about this? What about that? What about the other?" One day I said, "Spud, what would happen if I asked as many questions as you do?" She shot back, "Well, then, you might be able to answer some of mine." _____________________________________________________ Shakey went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. Then, when I get under the bed, I think there's somebody on top of it. Doc, you've gotta help me, I'm going crazy!" "Just put yourself in my hands for two years," said the psychiatrist. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears." "How much do you charge?" "My fee is $100 per visit." "That's awfully expensive, Doc," reckoned Shakey. "Let me sleep on it, and I'll get back to you." Six months later, the doctor and Shakey crossed paths. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist. "For $100 a visit? Heck, a bartender cured me for $10!" "How do you figure?" asked the psychiatrist. "He told me to cut the legs off the bed!" _____________________________________________ ophelia dingbatter's news no sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt- in confirmation request. ____________________________________________________ today, september 17, in 1394, In France, Charles VI published an ordinance that expelled all Jews from France. 1778, The United States signed its first treaty with a Native American tribe, the Delaware Nation. 1787, The Constitution of the United States of America was signed by delegates at the Constitutional Convention. 1796, U.S. President George Washington's Farewell Address was read before the U.S. Congress. 1862, The Battle of Antietam took place during the American Civil War. More than 23,000 men were killed, wounded, or missing. The Rebel advance was ended with heavy losses to both armies. 1872, Phillip W. Pratt patented a version of the sprinkler system. 1911, The first transcontinental airplane flight started. It took C.P. Rogers 82 hours to fly from New York City to Pasadena, CA. 1930, Construction on Boulder Dam, later renamed Hoover Dam, began in Black Canyon, near Las Vegas, NV. 1932, Sir Malcolm Campbell set a speed record when he reached 276.27 mph over a half mile. 1937, At Mount Rushmore, Abraham Lincoln's face was dedicated. 1939, The Soviet Union invaded Poland. Germany had invaded Poland on September 1. 1944, Operation "Market Garden" was launched by Allied paratroopers during World War II. The landing point was behind German lines in the Netherlands. 1953, The Ochsner Foundation Hospital in New Orleans, LA, successfully separated Siamese twins. Carolyn Anne and Catherine Anne Mouton were connected at the waist when born. 1965, "Hogan's Heroes" debuted on CBS-TV. 1966, "Mission Impossible" premiered on CBS-TV. 1972, "M*A*S*H" premiered on CBS-TV. 1976, NASA unveiled the space shuttle Enterprise in Palmdale, CA. 1983, Vanessa Williams, as Miss New York, became the first black woman to be crowned Miss America. 1984, 9,706 immigrants became naturalized citizens when they were sworn in by U.S. Vice-President George Bush in Miami, FL. It was the largest group to become U.S. citizens. 1984, Gordon P. Getty was named the richest person in the U.S. His fortune was $4.1 billion. 1988, Lt. Gen. Prosper Avril declared himself president of Haiti after President Henri Hamphy was ousted. 1991, The United Nations General Assembly opened its 46th session. The new members were Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, North and South Korea, Micronesia and the Marshall Islands. 1992, Lawrence Walsh called a halt to his probe of the Iran- Contra scandal. The investigation had lasted 5 1/2 years. 1995, Hong Kong held its last legislative election before being taken over by China in 1997. 1997, Northern Ireland's main Protestant party joined in peace talks. It was the first time that all of the major players had come together. 1998, The United States government offered a reward for the capture of Haroun Fazil for his role in the U.S. bombing in Kenya on August 7, 1998. 1998, The U.S. announced a plan that would compensate victims in the Kenya and Tanzania U.S. Embassy bombings on August 7, 1998. 2022 Do! smiled. |
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