Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, August 6 "Betty Hanegan" another scammer, got told today what she should do with a Billy Goat. They are SOOOO dumb! The scammers, not the goats! Well, she is blocked now, and reported. ___________________________________________________ History on this day, August 4, in 1990, The U.N. Security Council ordered a worldwide trade embargo with Iraq. The embargo was to punish Iraq for invading Kuwait. ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award Florida dingbat arrested twice within a day. _________________________________________________ Plans are only good intentions unless they immediately degenerate into hard work. --- Peter Drucker (1909 - 2005) Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. --- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001) __________________________________________________ Morris, went to his rabbi for some needed advice. "Rabbi, tell me is it proper for one man to profit from another man's mistakes?" "No Morris, a man should not profit from another's man mistakes" answered the rabbi. "Are you sure Rabbi?" "Of course, I'm sure, in fact I'm positive" exclaimed the Rabbi "Ok, Rabbi, if you are so sure, how about returning the two hundred dollars I gave you for marrying me to my wife.?" ___________________________________________________ Irving was just coming out of anesthesia after a series of tests in the hospital, and his wife, Sarah, was sitting at his bedside. His eyes fluttered open, and he murmured, "You're beautiful." Flattered, Sarah continued her vigil while he drifted back to sleep. Later he woke up and said, "You're cute." "What happened to 'beautiful'?" Sarah asked. "The drugs are wearing off," he replied. __________________________________________________ >Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Liara Quinn Harmon, 32, Delray Beach, Floriduh, USA Delray Beach Woman Arrested Twice In One Day A Delray Beach woman was arrested twice in one day. She is now being held without bond in the Palm Beach County Jail. Records show that Liara Quinn Harmon, 32, was first arrested by the Palm Beach County Sheriffs Office on Wednesday. She was booked into the Palm Beach County Jail on one count of resisting an officer with violence, and another count of battery on an officer, firefighter, or EMT. Bond was set at $6,000. She was released from jail at 10:45 p.m. Wednesday, only to be arrested again a short time later. Liara Harmon was booked back into the Palm Beach County Jail at 1:32 Thursday morning. The charge this time is battery touch or strike. She remains in jail at 6 a.m. Thursday. It was not immediately clear what led police to Harmon for the first arrest, or who she is accused of battering after she was released. When not in jail, Harmon lives in the 6100 block of Stanley Lane in Delray Beach. She won't get her bond back. With bond she paid the customary 10%. Now she owes the remaining 90%. DUH! _____________________________________________________ Jack has died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out Jack's Last Will and Testament. "To my dear wife Esther, I leave the house, 50 acres of land, and 1 million dollars. To my son Barry, I leave my Big Lexus and the Jaguar. To my daughter Suzy, I leave my yacht and $250,000. And to my brother-in-law Jeff, who always insisted that health is better than wealth, I leave my sun lamp." _____________________________________________________ Bernie had a fight with Rachel, his wife, and went to the movies to cool off. Later that evening, he decided to phone home to see what the situation was and maybe even apologize. "Hello, darling," he said, "what are you making for dinner?" "What am I making for dinner? After all the horrible things you said to me earlier, you want to know what I am making for dinner?? Poison, that's what I'm making, poison." Bernie replies, "Okay then, just make one portion, I'm not coming home until after the funeral." ___________________________________________________ >from Linda ___________________________________________________ My forgetter's getting better, But my rememberer is broke To you that may seem funny But, to me, that is no joke For when I'm "here" I'm wondering If I really should be "there" And, when I try to think it through, I haven't got a prayer! Oft times I walk into a room, Say "what am I here for?" I wrack my brain, but all in vain! A zero, is my score. At times I put something away Where it is safe, but, Gee! The person it is safest from Is, generally, me! When shopping I may see someone, Say "Hi" and have a chat, Then, when the person walks away I ask myself, "who was that?" Yes, my forgetter's getting better While my rememberer is broke, And it's driving me plumb crazy And that isn't any joke. ___________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Anna RE: Power in USB port Dear Webby, How much power is in a USB port? You mentioned coffee warmers. Don't they take a lot of power? Anna color> Dear Anna Those coffee warmers are not for brewing or percolating coffee, but just for keeping your coffee from getting cold and bitter. They take very little power. If you have a Type C USB port, where you don't have to fart around with getting the plug right side up, you can quick-charge a phone or camera or drone airplane. On a PD type you can use a USB Coffee ginder or one cup coffee maker. Don't use them if you are running on the laptop battery! They are intended for use only while plugged into the house or vehicle or boat power. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A doctor told Mrs. Darcy to give her husband one pill a day and one drink of whiskey to improve his stamina. A month later, when Mrs. Darcy came in for another visit, the doctor asked, "How are we doing with the pill and the whiskey?" Mrs. Davis answered, "Well, he's a little behind with the pills, but he's about six months ahead with the whiskey." _____________________________________________________ Yulan Magnolias ___________________________________________________ A father spoke to his son, "It's time we had a little talk my son. Soon you will have urges and feelings you've never had before. Your heart will pound and your hands will sweat. You'll be preoccupied and won't be able to think of anything else." The boy stared wide eyed and gulped, "Yes." The father continued, "But don't worry, it's perfectly normal. It's called golf." ___________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work,Please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it!Please, help me stay online! ___________________________________________________ At the basketball court in a Gastonton, North Carolina, YMCA: Anyone caught hanging from the rim will be suspended In a Grand Rapids restaurant: Half baked chicken In a Dayton barbershop: During vacation of owner, a competent hair stylist will be here _____________________________________________________ A woman came into my pharmacy with a shopping list. As she asked for items such as hair spray and toothpaste, I inquired what size of each she wanted. Everything was going well until she requested a bottle of Pepto-Bismol. I was surprised when, in response to my usual question, "What size?" she said, "What size would you suggest? I'm only having four for dinner." _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ >From Linda While I was shopping in the mall with my three children, a display in the window of a lingerie store caught my eye. "Do you think Daddy would like this?" I asked the kids, as I pointed to the lacy pijamas with matching robe. "No way," my horrified six-year-old son replied. "Daddy would NEVER wear that!" _____________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work,Please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it!Please, help me stay online! _____________________________________________ One day, a little boy visited a doctor for a vaccination. After the doctor gave him an injection, he tried to bandage the boy's arm. "I think you'd better bandage the other arm, doc!", said the boy. "But, why? I'm supposed to bandage the injected part of your arm to let your friends know not to touch it." "Doc, you really don't know anything about the bozos I go to school with!" ___________________________________________________ Wanting to sell Bibles, a man went to the nearest bookstore and said to the owner, "I'd like to have ten Bibles, please." The owner handed the man the Bibles and the following day, the man returned to the store and asked for twenty more. "Twenty Bibles!" exclaimed the owner. "I just gave you ten yesterday. What did you do with them?" "I sold them," the man announced proudly. So, the owner gave him an additional twenty Bibles. A couple of days later, the man returned to the store and asked for thirty Bibles. "Thirty Bibles!" gasped the owner. "How are you managing to sell so many Bibles?" The man explained that he had a stuttering problem. "I go door to door and ask, 'Hi. Do you w-w-want to b-b-b-buy a B-B-B-Bible? If you don't w-w- want to b-b-b-buy a B-B-B-Bible, I can always r-r-r-read it to you!" ____________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
| Today, August 6, in 1787, At the Constitutional Convention in Philadelphia debate began on the first draft of the U.S. Constitution. 1806, The Holy Roman Empire went out of existence as Emperor Francis II abdicated. 1825, Bolivia declared independence from Peru. 1879, The first Australian rules football game to be played at night took place at the Melbourne Cricket Ground. The game was to promote the introduction of electricity to the city of Melbourne. 1914, Austria-Hungary declared war against Russia. Serbia declared war against Germany. 1926, Gertrude Ederle became the first American woman to swim the English Channel. She was 19 years old at the time. The swim took her 14 1/2 hours. 1926, Warner Brothers premiered its Vitaphone system in New York. The movie was "Don Juan," starring John Barrymore. 1945, The American B-29 bomber, known as the Enola Gay, dropped the first atomic bomb on an inhabited area. The bomb named "Little Boy" was dropped over the center of Hiroshima, Japan. An estimated 140,000 people were killed. (8:16am Japanese time) 1960, Nationalization of U.S. and foreign-owned property in Cuba began. 1962, Jamaica became an independent dominion within the British Commonwealth. 1965, The Voting Rights Act was signed by U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson. 1981, Fire fighters in Indianapolis, IN, answered a false alarm. When they returned to their station it was ablaze due to a grease fire. 1985, The 40th anniversary of the Hiroshima atomic bombing brought tens of thousands of Japanese and foreigners to Hiroshima. 1986, William J. Schroeder died. He lived 620 days with the Jarvik-7 manmade heart. He was the world's longest surviving recipient of a permanent artificial heart. 1989, Jaime Paz Zamora was inaugurated as the president of Bolivia. 1990, The U.N. Security Council ordered a worldwide trade embargo with Iraq. The embargo was to punish Iraq for invading Kuwait. 1993, Morihiro Hosokawa was elected prime minister of Japan. 1995, Thousands of glowing lanterns were set afloat in rivers in Hiroshima, Japan, on the 50th anniversary of the first atomic bombing. 1996, NASA announced the discovery of evidence of primitive life on Mars. The evidence came in the form of a meteorite that was found in Antarctica. The meteorite was believed to have come from Mars and contained a fossil. 1997, Apple Computer and Microsoft agreed to share technology in a deal giving Microsoft a stake in Apple's survival. 1998, Former White House intern Monica Lewinsky spent 8 1/2 hours testifying before a grand jury about her relationship with U.S. President Clinton. 2012, The Mars rover Curiosity landed on the floor of Gale Crater. The Mars Science Laboratory/Curiosity spacecraft launched from Cape Canaveral Air Force Station, FL, on November 26, 2011. 2022 Do! smiled. |
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