Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, August 28 Thank you, Andy! Have FUN! Dearwebby Today's Bonehead Award: Las Vegas mother separated from kids after she was arrested for murder  ______________________________________________________ Today, August 28 in 1830 "The Tom Thumb" was demonstrated in Baltimore, MD. It was the first passenger-carrying train of its kind to be built in America. More of today in history at HIstory ______________________________________________________ 
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 There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn. --- Albert Camus (1913 - 1960) ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ As soon as she had finished convent school, a bright young girl named Lena shook the dust of Ireland off her shoes and made her way to New York where before long, she became a successful performer in show business. Eventually she returned to her home town for a visit and on a Saturday night went to confession in the church where she had always attended as a child. In the confessional Father Sullivan recognized her and began asking her about her work. She explained that she was an acrobatic dancer, and he wanted to know what that meant. She said she would be happy to show him the kind of thing she did on stage. She stepped out of the confessional and within sight of Father Sullivan, she went into a series of cartwheels, leaping splits, handsprings and back flips. Kneeling near the confessional, waiting their turn, were two middle- aged ladies. They witnessed Lena's acrobatics with wide eyes, and one said to the other, "Will you just look at the penance Father Sullivan is givin' out this night, and me without me bloomers on!" _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ A real-estate agent was driving around with a new trainee when she spotted a charming little farmhouse with a hand- lettered "For Sale" sign out front. After briskly introducing herself and her associate to the startled occupant, the agent cruised from room to room, opening closets and cupboards, testing faucets, and pointing out where a "new light fixture here and a little paint there" would help. Pleased with her assertiveness, the woman was hopeful that the owner would offer her the listing. "Ma'am," the man said, "I appreciate the home-improvement tips and all, but I think you read my sign wrong. It says, 'HORSE for sale.'" ______________________________________________________   _____________________________________________________ 
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 _____________________________________________________ On a long drive from Virginia, I thought I was traveling at a reasonable speed, but the flashing blue lights in my rear-view mirror made me realize that I'd been over the limit. I handed the officer my license and made small talk while my wife dug through the glove compartment for the registration. "I'm usually very careful about my speed," I told him as my wife handed me the paperwork. The officer studied it and then gave it back. "Sir," he said gruffly, "this is not your registration." It was a warning ticket I had received for speeding in South Carolina. ___________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Juwuan Terry, 18, Jason Epeards, 18, Jasean Dale, 19, Indianapolis, Indiana  Las Vegas mother separated from kids after she was arrested for murder  Police arrested a Las Vegas mother after investigators searching for a missing toddler found the body of a young girl in a duffel bag at the womans apartment Thursday night, authorities said. Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department Homicide Lt. Ray Spencer said the girl was reported missing just before 9 p.m. on the 6800 block of East Lake Mead Boulevard near Hollywood Boulevard. According to initial reports, the mother, identified as 29- year-old Aisha Thomas, was walking to Albertsons with her four children and was on the phone when one of her kids wandered off and went missing, Las Vegas television station KVVU reported. Detectives from Metro polices Missing Persons Detail responded and began searching the neighborhood. Detectives set up a command post in the parking lot of the Albertsons for additional resources, Spencer said. Meanwhile, officers began looking for the girl inside Thomass apartment, but they were unable to find the child at first. Officers then conducted a second search since Thomass story began showing inconsistencies, according to Spencer. During the second search, police noticed a heavy duffel bag inside the master bedrooms closet that was emitting a mildew smell. They found garbage bags when they opened the duffel bag, Spencer said. They opened the bags and found the body of the missing 3-year-old. Thomas was arrested on suspicion of murder, Las Vegas police said. The other three children were placed in the care of Child Protective Services. According to Spencer, police believe the girl was killed within the last three days. Four days ago, the girls father had been arrested after a domestic violence call was placed, according to Spencer. 
  From: Anton Re: Printng photos  Dear Webby, When I try to print pictures, they don't come out anywhere near as good as the samples they had at the store and claimed they had printed with that kind of printer. Did they use prints from a different printer or am I doing something wrong? Anton   Dear Anton Most likely they used the most expensive photo paper. They also probably used a picture formatted for 300 or more pixels per inch. If you save a picture off a browser, it will be 72 pixels per inch. That is a huge difference in the number of dots on a picture. If you use JPG format and any amount of compression, then you also lose picture quality very quickly. JPG compression is for sending pictures to your aunt on her slow dial-up, but not for printing. If you want a nice print, set the compression to 1. Watch the file size, though! For example, a picture of the "Eye Of God" (Helix nebula) off the browser might be 30 KB on some sites that use compression, 250 KB on mine at Eye Of God 800 x 600, but if you use the original, sized to 10" x 7.5" at 320 DPI, it's over 2.5 MB. In summary, use good paper, good ink, 300 or more DPI, and absolutely no compression in any step between camera and printer. Have FUN DearWebby  
 Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. 
 The college football player knew his way around the locker room better than he did the library, so when my husband's co-worker saw the gridiron star roaming the stacks of books looking confused, she asked how she could help. "I have to read a play by Shakespeare," he said. "Which one?" she asked. He scanned the shelves and answered, "William, I think." 
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 "Excuse for Republicans driving sports cars that cost more than their fathers ever made in a year: It's cheaper than marrying a woman half my age." --P.J. O'Rourke ____________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Organizing Cooking Sheets Buy a piece of corner molding at your local hardware store and cut it into pieces that are about the depth of your kitchen cabinets. Nail the pieces of molding to the bottom of your cabinet perpendicular to the opening and you can then store your cookie sheets upright.  When I design a kitchen, I always put a narrow, floor to countertop drawer beside the stove, with no sidewall on the stove side. Into the top I put a towel rack, and in the bottom a chrome wire guard or fence to hold cookie sheets upright and from tipping against the stove side. The waste heat from the stove dries the towels and stove cloths, and the library of cookie sheets and cake pans is easily accessible. Now if I could find some decent flour bins, the kitchen would be perfect. Have FUN! DearWebby  Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com  ____________________________________________________   
  
 
 Destination hot springs and camping. 
 ___________________________________________________ A salesman was demonstrating unbreakable combs in a department store. He was impressing the people who stopped by to look by putting the comb through all sorts of torture and stress. Finally to impress even the skeptics in the crowd, he bent the comb completely in half, and it snapped with a loud crack. Without missing a beat, he bravely held up both halves of the 'unbreakable' comb for everyone to see and said, "And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what an unbreakable comb looks like on the inside." ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 Thanks to Bob for this revelation: My wife uses fabric softener. I never knew what that stuff was for. Then I noticed women were coming up to me, they'd sniff, exclaim, "Married!", and walk off. So, gents, that's how they mark their territory! You can take off that ring, but it's hard to get that "April fresh scent" out of your clothes. ____________________________________________________  
 Today, August 28 in 1609 Delaware Bay was discovered by Henry Hudson. 1619 Ferdinand II was elected Holy Roman Emperor. His policy of "One church, one king" was his way of trying to outlaw Protestantism. 1830 "The Tom Thumb" was demonstrated in Baltimore, MD. It was the first passenger-carrying train of its kind to be built in America. 1833 Slavery was banned by the British Parliament throughout the British Empire. 1907 "American Messenger Company" was started by two teenagers, Jim Casey and Claude Ryan. The company's name was later changedto "United Parcel Service." 1916 Italy's flipping to the winning side and declaration of war against Germany took effect duringWorld War I. 1917 Ten suffragists were arrested as they picketed the White House. 1922 The first radio commercial aired on WEAF in New York City. The Queensboro Realty Company bought 10 minutes of time for$100. 1939 The first successful flight of a jet-propelled airplane took place. The plane was a German Heinkel He 178. 1963 Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., gave his "I Have a Dream" speech at a civil rights rally in Washington, DC. More than 200,000 people attended. 1972 Mark Spitz captured the first of his seven gold medals at the Summer Olympics in Munich, Germany. He set a world record when he completed the 200-meter butterfly in 2 minutes and 7/10ths of a second. 1990 Iraq declared Kuwait to be its 19th province and renamed Kuwait City al-Kadhima. 1995 The biggest bank in the U.S. was created when Chase Manhattan and Chemical Bank announced their $10 billion deal. 1996 A divorce decree was issued for Britain's Charles and Princess Diana. This was the official end to the 15-year marriage. 1998 The Pakistani prime minister created new Islamic order and legal system based on the Koran. 2004 George Brunstad, at age 70, became the oldest person to swim the English Channel. The swim from Dover, England, to Sangatte, France, took 15 hours and 59 minutes. 2008 In China, the Shanghai World Financial Center officially opened. The observation decks opened on August 30. 2014 Google announced its Project Wing. The project was aimed at delivering products across a city using unmanned flying vehicles. 2018 Do smiled. 
 https://youtu.be/18kmeHF_WX0 
 

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