Good Morning, Do, Today is Thursday, July 13 Have Fun! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Rapist Uber driver who preyed on drunk women jailed for 12 years Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 12 in 1863 Opponents of the Civil War draft began three days of rioting in New York City, which resulted in more than 1,000 casualties. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it. --- Henry David Thoreau (1817 1862) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Kathleen gets out of bed, throws on her robe and slippers, uncovers the parrot, pulls up the shades, opens the window, puts on the coffee, and sits down to read the paper. The phone rings. A man's voice says with anticipation. "Sweetie, I just flew in from London I'll be right over." She puts down the paper, turns off the coffee, closes the windows, pulls down the shades, covers the parrot, takes off her robe and slippers, and gets back into bed. The parrot says, "Dang! That was a short day." _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ How Smart is Your Right Foot ? This is so funny that it will boggle your mind. And if you are anywhere near as stubborn as I am, you will keep trying at least a few more times to see if you can outsmart your foot, but you can't. 1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles. 2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction. I told you so. And, there's nothing you can do about it! Go ahead KEEP TRYING ALL YOU WANT ! Have a great day! Now get back to work!! ______________________________________________________ Tsungwei _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jahir Hussain, 37, Poplar, England. Rapist Uber driver who preyed on drunk women jailed for 12 years An Uber driver who waited outside popular east London bars looking for drunk women to rape has been jailed for 12 years. Jahir Hussain sexually assaulted one woman last October and two on the same night in December when they passed out in his back seat after he picked them up in Shoreditch. Snaresbrook Crown Court heard that the 37-year-old's first victim, who woke to find the father-of-four fondling her breasts and undoing his belt, was frozen in fear as he raped her. His next two attacks came in quick succession in the early hours of December 2. Hussain took advantage of Uber's system to intercept one woman, telling her that he was the driver ordered to collect her. After she left her work's Christmas Party, Hussain drover her to a parking bay. He cut her clothing with scissors as she slept but she woke to find him kissing her, and tried to fight him off. The woman managed to get out of the car and Hussain sped off when she told him she would call the police. Hours later he touched his third victim's legs and lifted up her dress as she slept, and she later found her tights and knickers had been partly cut off her body. Judge Nicholas Huskinson told Hussain he seriously considered a life sentence and told him: 'You possess a high risk of harm to adult women, particularly those who are intoxicated. 'You, Mr Hussain, appear to target them while they are alone and vulnerable. 'And you used some sort of bladed instrument to cut their clothing when they were asleep. 'On 2 December you committed two crimes hours apart despite the first victim telling you they would call the police. That did not deter you. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Fran Re: Dead mice Dear Webby, Dear Webby, my problem is mice. Not one mouse. MICE. I'm supposed to be a receptionist, but everybody here figures I have nothing better to do than clean and/or fix their mice. Especially in the warehouse the mice don't seem to last more than a couple of weeks and next time a 10 mouse day coincides with full moon and a bad hair day, somebody around here will be wearing a mouse. I know you work long hours and have for many years. What type of mouse do you recommend and how long do those last? Thanks, Fran Dear Fran Tell them they need wireless Microsoft or Logitech laser mice. Those have no balls, just a laser at the bottom. They have small teflon glider pads for feet. When they get gunked up with ketchup and hamburger drippings and dirt and stuff, just run the mouse hard on some brown packing paper. That will clean them off in seconds. Other Laser or optical mice are similar, but with Microsoft or Logitech there wont be any installation hassles. Have FUN! DearWebby Communication is the key to a good marriage, say the experts, but it may take time to develop. Consider newlyweds Ole and Lena on their honeymoon trip from their little town in southern Minnesota. They are nearing Minneapolis when Ole puts his hand on Lena's knee. Giggling, Lena says, "Ole, you can go farther than that if you vant to." So Ole drives to Duluth. | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cleaning Lime Deposits Off a Toilet I tried everything, as we were selling our house, including emptying the bowl and adding vinegar. I decided that I'd try the pumice stone as a last resort, only I wished I had tried it first. It can even be used wet so you don't have to empty the bowl first. I bought it at the Dollar store, put on some gloves and got the bowl clean in no time. It won't harm the bowl as it's fine, not rough. Whatever you try, good luck. (07/15/2007) By Mikki I have tried using pumice stones and it worked although it was a lot of work. At Home Depot they sell a product called Zep, and it's just a acidic cleaner that you squirt on. When I used it I was shocked and amazed and will never use anything else, by far the best product out there. (07/15/2007) By pomsarelv Hydrochloric acid works fast and very well if you have to clean a bunch of toilets. For best results, get rid of the water and let it dry, so that you don`t dilute the hydrochloric acid. Make sure you have good ventilation because it `smokes` when it eats the deposits. Have FUN! DearWebby ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ On a military training exercise, the British divisional command radio operators were getting very bored one quiet night, when breaking the silence a voice asked over the air, "Are there any friendly bears listening?" After a moment, another voice replied, "Yes, I'm a friendly bear," and then another voice, "I'm a friendly bear too!" At this point, the Officer at Headquarters grabbed his microphone and let loose a blistering tirade at the operators for fooling around on an radio link. When he had finished, there was silence for about ten seconds. Then a small voice said, "He's not a friendly bear, let's go to our secret channel." They all muted their mikes and went to sleep, while the officer went nuts trying to find what secret channel they were using. ___________________________________________________ | | 'Flower-bombing' New York City. |
___________________________________________________ Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check." "Oh, by the way don't worry about my bulldog. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!" "I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!" When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work. The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled, "Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!" To which the parrot replied, "Get him, Spike" | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
____________________________________________________ >From Lorna Please send that Spell checker poem again Lorna Here it is SPELL CHECQUER Eye halve a spelling chequer It came with my pea sea It plainly marques four my revue Miss steaks eye kin knot sea. Eye strike a key and type a word And weight four it two say Weather eye am wrong oar write It shows me strait a weigh. As soon as a mist ache is maid It nose bee fore two long And eye can put the error rite Its rare lea ever wrong. Eye have run this poem threw it I am shore your pleased two no Its letter perfect awl the weigh My chequer tolled me sew. ____________________________________________________ | Today, on July 13, in 1099 The Crusaders launched their final assault on Muslims in Jerusalem. 1534 The Ottoman armies captured Tabriz in northwestern Persia. 1558 Led by the court of Egmont, the Spanish army defeated the French at Gravelines, France. 1585 A group of 108 English colonists, led by Sir Richard Grenville, reached Roanoke Island, NC. 1754 At the beginning of the French and Indian War, George Washington surrendered the small, circular Fort Necessity in southwestern Pennsylvania to the French. 1812 The first pawnbroking ordinance was passed in New York City. 1832 Henry Schoolcraft discovered the source of the Mississippi River in Minnesota. 1836 John Ruggles received patent #1 from the U.S. Patent Office for a traction wheel used in locomotive steam engines. All 9,957 previous patents were not numbered. 1863 Opponents of the Civil War draft began three days of rioting in New York City, which resulted in more than 1,000 casualties. 1875 David Brown patented the first cash-carrier system. 1878 The Congress of Berlin divided the Balkans among European powers. 1931 A major German financial institution, Danabank, failed. This led to the closing of all banks in Germany until August 5. 1941 Britain and the Soviet Union signed a mutual aid pact, that provided the means for Britain to send war material to the Soviet Union. 1954 In Geneva, the United States, Great Britain and France reached an accord on Indochina which divided Vietnam into two countries, North and South, along the 17th parallel. 1972 Carroll Rosenbloom (owner of the Baltimore Colts) and Robert Irsay (owner of the Los Angeles Rams) traded teams. 1978 Lee Iacocca was fired as president of Ford Motor Co. by chairman Henry Ford II. 1982 The All-Star Game was played outside the United States for the first time. They played in Montreal, Canada. 1984 In Arkansas, Terry Wallis was injured in a car accident and was left comatose. He came out of the coma in June of 2003. 2000 Sprint Corp. and WorldCom canceled their planned merger due to opposition by regulators in the United States and Europe. 2017 Do smiled. |
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