Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, October 13 ____________________________________________________ Today, October 13 in  1792 - The cornerstone of the Executive Mansion was laid in Washington, DC. The Canucks burnned it in the war of 1812 and it had to be whitewashed afterward. The building became known as the White House in 1818. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
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 Today's Bonehead Award: Man Stole From inside of Grandma's Underwear during strong-arm robbery  _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  _______________________________________________ Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want and deserve to get it good and hard. --- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956) _______________________________________________ A missionary heard about a native who had five wives. He paid a visit to the native's hut, and sure enough there were five wives. The two men sat outside the hut and talked. The missionery said "You are violating a law of God. Man can only have one wife, so you must go and tell four of those women that they can no longer live here or consider you their husband." The native thought a few moments, then said, "I'll wait here. You tell 'em." ________________________________________________`   snowplow bait ____________________________________________________ 
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 ___________________________________________________     An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Jared Otte, 19, Memphis, Tennessee  Man Stole From inside of Grandma's Underwear during strong-arm robbery  A Tennessee man forcibly removed $10 from his own grandmother's undergarments after she refused his demand for cash, according to a robbery complaint. Jared Otte, a 19-year-old Memphis resident, entered the 63-year- old victim's home in late-August and demanded she give him cash, according to a complaint affidavit. Otte's grandmother told police that when she declined to hand over any money, Otte pushed her onto on the bed and held her down, raised her dress, and removed $10 from her undergarments. The woman, a detective reported, suffered bruising on her arms and leg during this incident. The complaint does not indicate why Otte needed the cash. Pictured above, Otte was arrested Tuesday on a felony robbery charge and booked into the Shelby County jail. He was released from custody yesterday after posting $10,000 bond. Otte is next due in court on October 15 
 DearWebby's Tech Support Pits  From: Monique Re: Program for sorting  Dear Webby, May I say first of all that I thoroughly enjoy reading your mails - I appreciate all your hard work! My question is: I need a program that will alphabetize things. I am a person who likes her lists, from recipes to my Google group member lists- it would really help to have them in A-Z order. Do you know of any such program please? My very best wishes from across the pond, Monique :)  Dear Monique Any spreadsheet program like Calc, Quattro, Excel, etc. will do that nicely. In a spreadsheet you have rows and columns, and you can sort the entire sheet by whichever column you want. If your columns are Topic | Subtitle | Description | Date | URL/Link | Details hen you can tell it to sort by for example: Date then Topic then Subtitle and in the blink of an eye, it will have shuffled the sheet around to that sort order. You can even do a search and let it find a key word. When done, you can even save it as an HTML file and upload it to the web, or leave it in spreadsheet format. Do I need to mention pretty graphs ? Whenever there are dates or numbers involved in at least one column, spreadsheets will plot colorful graphs for you. Even though I have been a fan of Quattro since the 80's, the one I recommend currently is Calc in Open Office. It is free, and the future definitely is in Open Office. The link to Open Office is in my toolbox. Have FUN! DearWebby 
 Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
 Our business professor was lecturing about different ways to bill customers. He asked, "Who can give me an example of a system where you are billed before you actually receive your goods?" One student piped up, "Tuition!" 
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 The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. Italians drink lots of wine and have fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans On the other hand, the Finns drink very little wine, and also have fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans Conclusion: Eat what you like. It's speaking English that kills you. ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com font color="#009990"> Wire Hanger Trellis You can make a small trellis out of a wire hanger. Straighten the hanger's hook and then bend the remaining hanger into whatever shape you want your trellis to be. Then stick the straighten hook into the dirt and you have a wire trellis for potted plants. thriftyfun.Com  ____________________________________________________  
  
 
Best Halloween News Bloopers EVER! 
 ___________________________________________________ At a golf course, four men approached the sixteenth tee. The straight fairway ran along a road and bike path fenced off on the left. The first golfer teed off and hooked the ball in that direction. But the ball went over the fence and bounced off the bike path onto the road, where it hit the tire of a moving bus and was knocked back on to the fairway, onto the green and rolled ito the hole. As they all stood in silent amazement, one man finally asked him, "How on earth did you do that?" He shrugged his shoulders and said, "You have to know the bus schedule." ___________________________________________________ Lissa went to see a psychiatrist about her husband (he wouldn't go with her). "Doctor, my husband, Kurt, has this problem. Almost every night now he's dreaming he's a refrigerator!" "My dear, that is not really a problem! A lot of people dream that they are somebody or something unusual..." Lissa leans forward as she softly whispers this confidence: "But you see doctor it is also a problem for me! Kurt sleeps with his mouth open and his little light keeps me awake!" ___________________________________________________ Our business professor was lecturing about different ways to bill customers. He asked, "Who can give me an example of a system where you are billed before you actually receive your goods?" One student piped up, "Tuition!" __________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
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 Today, October 13 in 1775 - The U.S. Continental Congress ordered the construction of a naval fleet. 1792 - The cornerstone of the Executive Mansion was laid in Washington, DC. The Canucks burnned it in the war of 1812 and it had to be whitewashed afterward. The building became known as the White House in 1818. 1812 - American forces were defeated at the Battle of Queenstown Heights. The British victory effectively ended an further U.S. invasion of Canada. 1843 - B'nai B'rith, the Jewish organization, was founded by Henry Jones and eleven others in New York City, NY. 1943 - During World War II, when it became obvious that the Allies would win, Italy signed an armistice with the Allies and declared war on Germany. 1944 - American troops entered Aachen, Germany, during World War II. 1944 - During World War II, British and Greek advance units landed at Piraeus. 1951 - In Atlanta, GA, a football with a rubber covering was used for the first time. Georgia Tech beat Louisiana State 25-7. 1953 - An ultrasonic burglar alarm was patented by Samuel Bagno. 1957 - Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra introduced the Ford Edsel on an hour long special. 1962 - "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" opened on Broadway. 1981 - Egyptian voters elected Vice President Hosni Mubarak as the new president one week after Anwar Sadat was assassinated. 1989 - U.S. President George H.W. Bush called for an overthrow of the Panamanian ruler Manuel Antonio Noriega. 1992 - A commercial flight record was set by an Air France supersonic jetliner for circling the Earth in 33 hours and one minute. 1995 - Walt Disney World Resort admitted its 500-millionth guest. 1999 - The U.S. Senate rejected the ratification of the Comprehensive Test Ban Treaty (CTBT). 2010 - Near Copiap, Chile, 33 miners were trapped underground in San Jos Mine. The miners were rescued after 69 days underground. 2019 Do smiled.