Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, January 30 Voting is STILL NOT repaired. You can vote, if you register, but not if you try to vote with the email confirmation request. Try writing to them. They seem to have me blocked because of my red hat or because I am not a Women's Libber, or are not able to respond to me. Their addresses are: support@cumuli.com, lewis@cumuli.com, stewart@cumuli.com, suport@ezinefinder.com, lasso@cumuli.com Write to one and CC to the others. I got Ophelia to try and vote with her email address. She did not get a confirmation request either. Neither did anybody else I asked. Their own Daily Thrifty Tips seems to get all their staff votes OK. Normally Ophelia gets a bit more than twice that from her fans. Just 3 votes more than Daily Thrifty Tips is most definitely an indication of something badly broken. They are Mac users, so please try to be diplomatic when you write to them. ___________________________________________________ Today, January 30 in 1847 The town of Yerba Buena was renamed San Francisco. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Illinois child porn crook sentenced to 20 years __________________________________________ I like life. It's something to do. --- Ronnie Shakes __________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! __________________________________________ My friend Ann and I were eating at a Chinese restaurant. When an elderly waiter set chopsticks at our places, Ann made a point of reaching into her purse and pulling out her own pair. "As an environmentalist," she declared, "I do not approve of destroying bamboo forests for throwaway utensils." The waiter inspected her chopsticks. "Velly bootiful," he said politely. "Ivoly from sca-ace, endange-ad animahs, instead of fahm gwown choptick wood. In old time ony litch sumbitch bigshot use ivoly choptick to make shua wood was not poisoned." ________________________________________________` Gimpel ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Daniel Aldrich, 62, Sugar Grove, Illinois Sugar Grove Shool Bus driver Sentenced to 20 Years in Child Porn Cases A Sugar Grove man, who was a former Sandwich CUSD #430 school bus driver, was sentenced to 20 years in the Illinois Department of Corrections on Tuesday after a plea deal was accepted for various child pornography related offenses in Kendall County. Kendall County Court and booking records show that 62 year-old Daniel Aldrich of Mallard Ln. pleaded guilty to six counts in total. The counts ranged from more serious Class X felony Child Porn offenses to lesser felonies. The charges Aldrich pleaded guilty to were from 2018 and 2019 cases with some of the offenses to be served consecutively and others concurrently. Of the 20-year sentence, Aldrich will be required to serve at least 50 percent or 10 years. He is also required to serve a minimum of three years on parole after serving the sentence for the Class X felonies. Aldrich receives credit for nine days served in the Kendall County Jail. As WSPY previously reported, Aldrich, previously of Sandra Ct. in unincorporated Sandwich, was charged in March of 2019 with 24 additional counts of Child Porn related charges after Kendall County Sheriff's Office officials said that a large amount of, "surreptitiously recorded video of children," who were acquaintances of Aldrich, was located. Multiple search warrants allegedly uncovered the child pornography. Prosecutors alleged that Aldrich took videos and photographs of naked minor girls, including filming some minors and others changing in the bathroom of his Sandwich home. Aldrich had already been charged in October of 2018 with seven counts of Child Pornography Possession and Child Pornography Dissemination. Authorities had said the incidents stemmed from 2016, 2017 and 2018. An investigation first began in July of 2018 after information was received, based on a cybertip from the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. All of the victims involved in the videos and photographs Aldrich took were identified and located. Sandwich School District #430 Supt. Rick Schmitt had said that Aldrich was a school bus driver for the district and was placed on unpaid administrative leave after charges were brought forth in 2018. Aldrich resigned shortly thereafter. Kendall County Asst. State's Attorney Frank Gorup prosecuted the cases. He told WSPY that the victims were known to Aldrich but none were students in the district nor were they believed to be associated with Aldrich's former job as a bus driver. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Annie Re: Re-Subscribed Dear Webby Good morning! I am in North Carolina in the states, but, yay.....the internet gods have given you back! Thanks for taking time to send me all the go-arounds and I will save them in case it happens again. In the meantime I subscribed this morning so we'll see how that goes. I had cancelled my subscription years ago and bookmarked you because I am Communications and also Prayer Leader for our church and my inbox has lots of stuff going and coming all the time that is relative to those responsibilities. When I needed that lift It was just simple to click on the icon at the top of my screen, enjoy and vote! Have a great day! Annie Dear Annie You can set your Gmail to automatically transfer the Humor Letter into a category folder. You can still easily get to it whenever you want to, but it won't show in your fresh, incoming, list. And nobody will see it. You can name that new category anything you want. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED: a.. No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats. a.. When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair. a.. If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person. a.. Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato. a.. You can't trust dogs to watch your food. a.. Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot. a.. Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair. a.. Puppies still have bad breath, even after eating a tic-tac. a.. Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time. a.. School lunches stick to the wall. a.. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. a.. Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts. a.. The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap. GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED: a.. Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree. a.. There is always a lot to be thankful for, if you take the time to look.. For example, I'm sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt. a.. One reason to smile is that every seven minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring. a.. Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due. a.. The best way to keep kids at home is to make a pleasant atmosphere and let the air out of their tires. a.. Families are like fudge ... mostly sweet, with a few nuts. a.. Remember the strong oak tree in your backyard is just a nut that held its ground. a.. Laughing helps. It's like jogging on the inside. a.. Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy. a.. My mind not only wanders; sometimes it leaves completely. a.. If you can remain calm, you just don't have all the facts. GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD: a.. Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. a.. Insanity is my only means of relaxation. a.. You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you're down there. a.. You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster. a.. Perhaps you know why women over fifty don't have babies: They would put them down somewhere and forget where they left them. a.. One of life's mysteries is how a two ounce bag of candy can make person gain five pounds. a.. I finally got my head together, and my body fell apart. a.. There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is already full. a.. Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician. a.. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends. a.. Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone. a.. Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today. a.. Freedom of the press means no-iron clothes. a.. Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake. THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE: a.. You believe in Santa Claus. a.. You don't believe in Santa Claus. a.. You are Santa Claus. a.. You look like Santa Claus. | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
___________________________________________________ Making a Custom Bottle Washer By Sandi/Poor But Proud I freeze my half and half, plus I make flavored water. When the bottles need washing, it's hard to get them clean. I got the smallest bottle washer I could afford, at the Dollar Tree. But it was made more for cups and glasses. So I grabbed my scissors and cut the little foam strips down to almost nothing. It didn't have to look great, just work great. Now I can get more than just soap and water in them. If you get the old-fashioned ones, that have stiff wire twisted instead of a plastic stem to the handle, you can cut that just below the wooden handle, and stick that into a small, light-weight rechargeable drill, like you get for subscribing to some magazines. Squeeze the trigger before inserting the wand, and it will wiggle in even if it is too big. Then, once it is inside, give it 2-3 seconds of full speed. Your bottles have never been that clean! When done, set it back on the charger. Have FUN! DearWebby Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ One day, an old lady went to the grocery store. She was searching the isles for a special product that had come on the market. It was similar to the toilet paper but these special wipes provided an aloe vera coating that soothed after wiping. Anyway, the old woman could hardly see. She was searching through the spices and more section, thinking that the wipes were found there. Picking up a yellow box, she squinted at its name. "Yep," she said, "these must be them." Making her way to the register, she paid for them and went home. Later, that afternoon, she tried the wipes and found them satisfactory. Her oldest son came home that day and found the box she had bought in the bathroom. Thinking that his mother must have been mistaken and placed them in the bathroom by accident, he took the box into the kitchen. Seeing the box on the counter, she said, "Son, these belong in the bathroom. These are special wipes and they don't belong here. They're called "Butt-A-Wipes". Shaking his head, he gently informed his mother. "No, Mother, these aren't those kind of wipes. These are wipes for basting chicken and turkeys. These are called "Butter Wipes", and they are certainly not used for that!" The old woman blanched, realizing that she had made a mistake. "Well," she said, "they did leave me squeaky clean!" ___________________________________________________ A man who had just undergone a very complicated operation kept complaining about a bump on his head and a terrible headache. Since his operation had been an intestinal one, there was no earthly reason why he should be complaining of a headache. Finally his nurse, fearing that the man might be suffering from some post-operative shock, spoke to the doctor about it. The doctor assured the nurse, "Don't worry about a thing. He really does have a bump on his head. About halfway through the operation we ran out of anesthetic and had to gong him with the fire extinguisher." ___________________________________________________ Wanting to lose weight, a woman placed a picture of a shapely, pin-up model in her refrigerator to remind her of her goal. The reminder worked like a charm as the woman discovered that she had lost ten pounds in the first month of using this method. The downside to this was that her husband spent so much time going into the fridge to look at the picture that he ended up gaining fifteen pounds! __________________________________________________ | No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today January 30 in 1649 England's King Charles I was beheaded. 1790 The first purpose-built lifeboat was launched on the River Tyne. 1798 The first brawl in the U.S. House of Representatives took place. Congressmen Matthew Lyon and Roger Griswold fought on the House floor. 1847 The town of Yerba Buena was renamed San Francisco. 1862 The U.S. Navy's first ironclad warship, the "Monitor", was launched. 1889 Rudolph, crown prince of Austria, and his 17-year-old mistress, Baroness Marie Vetsera, were found shot in his hunting lodge at Mayerling, near Vienna. 1894 C.B. King received a patent for the pneumatic hammer. 1900 The British fighting the Boers in South Africa ask for a larger army. 1910 Work began on the first board-track automobile speedway. The track was built in Playa del Ray, CA. 1911 The first airplane rescue at sea was made by the destroyer "Terry." Pilot James McCurdy was forced to land in the ocean about 10 miles from Havana, Cuba. 1933 "The Lone Ranger" was heard on radio for the first time. The program ran for 2,956 episodes and ended in 1955. 1933 Adolf Hitler was named the German Chancellor. 1948 Indian political and spiritual leader Mahatma Gandhi was murdered by a Hindu extremist. 1958 The first two-way moving sidewalk was put in service at Love Field in Dallas, TX. The length of the walkway through the airport was 1,435 feet. 1962 Two members of the "Flying Wallendas" high-wire act were killed when their seven-person pyramid collapsed during a performance in Detroit, MI. 1964 The U.S. launched Ranger 6. The unmanned spacecraft carried television cameras and was intentionally crash- landed on the moon. The cameras did not return any pictures to Earth. 1968 The Tet Offensive began as Communist forces launched surprise attacks against South Vietnamese provincial capitals. 1972 In Northern Ireland, British soldiers shot and killed thirteen Roman Catholic civil rights marchers. The day is known as "Bloody Sunday." 1979 The civilian government of Iran announced it had decided to allow Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini to return. He had been living in exile in France and sending tape cassettes with his speeches. 1989 The U.S. embassy in Kabul, Afghanistan was closed. 1994 Peter Leko became the world's youngest-ever grand master in chess. 1995 The U.N. Security Council authorized the deployment of a 6,000-member U.N. peace-keeping contingent to assume security responsibilities in Haiti from U.S. forces. 1995 Researchers from the U.S. National Institutes of Health announced that clinical trials had demonstrated the effectiveness of the first preventative treatment for sickle cell anemia. 1996 Gino Gallagher, the reputed leader of the Irish National Liberation Army, was shot and killed as he queued for his unemployment benefit. 1997 A New Jersey judge ruled that the unborn child of a female prisoner must have legal representation. He denied the prisoner bail reduction to enable her to leave the jail and obtain an abortion. 2002 Slobodan Milosevic accused the U.N. war crimes tribunal of an "evil and hostile attack" against him. Milosevic was defending his actions during the Balkan wars. 2002 Japan's last coal mine was closed. The closures were due to high production costs and cheap imports. 2005 In Iraq, the first free Parliamentary elections since 1958 took place. 2019 Do smiled. |
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