Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, June 5 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! ___________________________________________________ Today, June 5 in 1924 Ernst F. W. Alexanderson transmitted the first facsimile message across the Atlantic Ocean. ______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award: Three Moline men arrested with weapons, armor and drugs ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
_____________________________________________________ Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking. --- Dave Barry (1947 - ) _____________________________________________________ "If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise." "To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs." --- Aldous Huxley "Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea." --- Robert A. Heinlein __________________________________________ TROMSO, N O R W A Y Adelfo Aquino __________________________________________ In dire need of a beauty make-over, Nancy went to her salon with a fashion magazine photo of a gorgeous, young, lustrous haired model. She showed the stylist the trendy new cut she wanted and settled into the chair as he began humming a catchy tune and got to work on her thin, graying hair. Nancy was delighted by his cheerful attitude until she recognized the melody. It was the theme from "Mission Impossible." ___________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Austyn M. Cochuyt, 20; Trystan C. Nelson, 20; Seth M. Barton, 23, Moline Iowa Three Moline men arrested with weapons, armor and drugs Three Moline men were arrested early Tuesday who were apparently out with the intent to contribute to recent civil unrest. At 12:52 a.m. deputies from the Rock Island County Sheriff's Office performed a traffic stop at 11th Street and 31st Avenue in Rock Island, according to a news release issued Tuesday afternoon. Inside the deputies allegedly found the drugs, a loaded rifle, a loaded handgun, edged weapons, a crossbow, body armor and more ammunition. Body armor is actually quite serious, ever since the dark middle ages, when the cops wore tin suits. If the crooks have body armor, then the cops can't defend themselves. The weaposn had not been obtained legally and are presumed obtained by looting. The three occupants of the vehicle have been identified as Austyn M. Cochuyt, 20; Trystan C. Nelson, 20; and Seth M. Barton, 23, according to the release. All three have been charged with two counts of armed violence, one count of unlawful use of weapons and unlawful possession of controlled substance. The sheriff's office said the three men's motive was to contribute to recent civil unrest, but did not elaborate. All three were being held on $100,000 bail, according to court records. To be released, each would have to post a $10,000 bond. Each has a court date scheduled for June 30, records state. Initially, they were stopped because of an expired vehicle registration. DeaWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Frank Re: Gmail full panic Dear Webby, I got an email from Gmail urging me to pay $2.79 a month for more space, because I am close to being locked up. They did not give me any alterantive for gaining space. I know YOU know how to do that and once upon a time even mentioned it here. Please tell me again! Frank Dear Frank Some parts of Gmail are great, and I still recommend it. I agree, though, that other parts of Gmail are insanely klutzy. There is no way to "retire" a year, or do a bulk delete. You can only delete 100 mails at a time. I realize, that is pathetic, but this is the way I do it: Make a couple of HotKeys. On your computer, go to Gmail. At the top right, click Settings Settings and then Settings. At the top, second line, click Keyboard Shortcuts. Next to the action, type the keyboard key to make a new shortcut. At the bottom, click Save Changes. I use "1" for "Select all" and "`" to delete all selected. You can of course use right hand keys, that have not been drafted into HotKey service. Select the number of mails to be shown per page to be 100. Unfortunately, that is the maximum. Then change the sort order to "OLDEST" That shows you the oldest mails not yet deleted. Now use your two hot keys and dump the 100 oldest mails. It is not instant. They do it at the speed of a kid manually deleting them, but after 5 - 10 seconds, 100 mails are gone. Get into the habit of trimming your mail whenever you are on the phone. Just open Gmail and rock those two hot keys. THEN dump the trash and the spam. You are never going to look at them anyway. Whatever is in the trash still counts against you. It is like stuff in a garbage bag at the front door. You have to dump it into the wheelie bin. By the way, the total at the bottom does not update instantly. Sometimes it takes a day or two, but eventually it will reflect your house cleaning. Have FUN! DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
____________________________________________________ | | Lawnmower DUI Helicopter Chase |
_____________________________________________ The new ensign was standing his first night watch on the bridge of a destroyer. Far out on the horizon, the USS New Jersey was conducting a night gunnery exercise. The ensign, seeing the flashes of light from the battleship, ran excitedly up to the signal bridge and pointed out, mistakenly, the "Morse code" coming from the other ship. Ensign: "What are they saying? What are they saying?" Signalman: "Boom. Boom." _____________________________________________ "I'm so worried," the elderly patient said as the nurse plumped up his pillows. "Last week, I read about a man who was in the hospital because of heart trouble, and he died of malaria." "Relax," the nurse said smiling. "This is a first-rate hospital. When we treat someone for heart trouble, he dies of heart trouble." _____________________________________________ At a party, a woman walked up to Calvin Coolidge, 30th U.S. president (1923 to 1929) and said, "My husband bet me I couldn't get three words out of you." Coolidge replied "You lose." ____________________________________________ THINGS I LEARNED FROM CHILDREN If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42- pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a superman cape. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20-foot room. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh," it's already too late. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it. A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies. If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes it does not leak - it explodes. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. foot house 4 inches deep. Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four-year-old. Super glue is forever. McGyver can teach us many things we don't want to know. No matter how much Jello you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water. Pool filters do not like Jello. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. The fire department has at least a 5-minute response time. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy. It will however make cats dizzy. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy. | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today June 5 in 1595 Henry IV's army defeated the Spanish at the Battle of Fontaine-Francaise. 1752 Benjamin Franklin flew a kite for the first time to demonstrate that lightning was a form of electricity. 1794 The U.S. Congress prohibited citizens from serving in any foreign armed forces. 1827 Athens fell to the Ottomans. 1851 Harriet Beecher Stow published the first installment of "Uncle Tom's Cabin" in "The National Era." 1865 The first safe deposit vault was opened in New York. The charge was $1.50 a year for every $1,000 that was stored. 1917 American men began registering for the World War I draft. 1924 Ernst F. W. Alexanderson transmitted the first facsimile message across the Atlantic Ocean. 1933 President Roosevelt signed the bill that took the U.S. off of the gold standard. 1940 During World War II, the Battle of France began when Germany began an offensive in Southern France. 1942 In France, Pierre Laval congratulated French volunteers that were fighting in the U.S.S.R. with Germans. 1944 The first B-29 bombing raid hit the Japanese rail line in Bangkok, Thailand. 1946 The first medical sponges were first offered for sale in Detroit, MI. 1947 U.S. Secretary of State George C. Marshall gave a speech at Harvard University in which he outlined the Marshall Plan. 1956 Premier Nikita Khrushchev denounced Josef Stalin to the Soviet Communist Party Congress. 1967 The National Hockey League (NHL) awarded three new franchises. The Minnesota North Stars (later the Dallas Stars), the California Golden Seals (no longer in existence) and the Los Angeles Kings. 1967 The Six Day War between Israel and Egypt, Syria and Jordan began. 1975 Egypt reopened the Suez Canal to international shipping, eight years after it was closed because of the 1967 war with Israel. 1981 In the U.S., the Center for Disease Control and Prevention reported that five men in Los Angeles were suffering from a rare pneumonia found in patients with weakened immune systems. They were the first recognized cases of what later became known as AIDS. 1986 A federal jury in Baltimore convicted Ronald W. Pelton of selling secrets to the Soviet Union. Pelton was sentenced to three life prison terms plus 10 years. 1998 A strike began at a General Motors Corp. parts factory near Detroit, MI, that closed five assembly plants and idled workers across the U.S. for seven weeks. 1998 Volkswagen AG won approval to buy Rolls-Royce Motor Cars for $700 million, outbidding BMW's $554 million offer. 1998 C-Span reported that Bob Hope had died. The report was false and had begun with an inaccurate obituary on the Associated Press website. 2020 Do smiled. |
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Go to TOP
Well, Do , that's all for today.
Have FUN !
Dear Webby from Webby.com
Please give a friend a subscription to the Humor Letter
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them
in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If the greeting on top does NOT have your first name,
or at least your favorite nickname, please tell me.
I can correct that in two seconds and greet you properly
from then on.
If you want to give a gift subscription to a friend, but don't
have time to subscribe her or him, just hit REPLY and tell me.
I will gladly enter them for you and send them a confirmation request.
To reply to me personally, just hit REPLY or write to humor@webby.com
If you do not normally get the Humor Letter every day, and this was the first time,
then a friend sent you a one time sample or maybe even gave you a gift subscription.
If you like the Humor Letter, then you can subscribe at http://webby.com/sub.html
You can also UNsubscribe there.
If you don't want to receive the Webby Humor Letter,
please unsubscribe by clicking the link below:
You are currently subscribed to the Regular HTML version with this address:
newsletter@newslettercollector.com
UNSUBSCRIBE from the regular HTMLversion Give a friend a free gift subscription to the Humor Letter | . | Search the web for:
Recommended Resources Find a human
Bypass voice menus
Web Tools
handy program downloads
SPAM CONTROL made Easy!
Click here for a FREE
30 day trial
This is the Mail Washer that I use and have
used for over 10 years. I have tested many
others, but Mail Washer is still The Best
spam control UNinstall completely and safely whatever you don't want anymore. I have used it for many years and highly recommend it. It even does an inventory of what you got and shows long forgotten stuff. Choose a reliable essay writing service
to cope with your assignments
much faster. Crap Cleaner Safely get rid of
tons of useless crap left over from
old, obsolete updates, temp files, lost
file fragments, etc.
STILL FREE
Babelfish Translator Converter Urban Legends
Truth or Hoax?
Check before believing chain letters
Great tool for getting rid of
spy-ware and mal-ware. Still FREE
This Undeleter will easily and securely recover deleted files from hard drives, flash drives, USB external drives, Zip drives, Firewire drives, digital camera cards, and more. This powerful recovery software can recover deleted files from most data loss scenarios.
Is your data worth recovery? SmartFix The ONLY Registry Fixer, that I recommend!
All In One PX Fixer has all the necessary tools included: Fix System Errors, Improve Startup, Clean Registry, Defrag Disk, Optimize System Settings, Back-Up, etc. Currently Smart OC Fixer is 50% off regular price!
Where is YOUR site?
Web Space for YOU,
from $2.50 up. Commercal grade:
No ads, no limits.
Full control, not just a myspace page.
Post your eBay detail pictures.
Domain Name registration:
Discuss your needs first, don't just register a name, that might not be good for you! Ask DearWebby first. That will save you a lot of money!
YOUR OWN
Postcard Site ! You too can easily have a postcard site for business or fun.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Cumuli Ezine Finder: Etiquette To Get Read
Ebook with power tips
for effective writing,
by DearWebby
Ads are $50 per month for subscribers only.
$60 per month for anybody else.
Dear Bubba
All is forgiven. I still love you. Please come back!
Ps. Congratulations on your lottery win!
Your Betty-Sue
That could be YOUR ad for $50 per month.
Subscribers only!
Nudist Colony of Alberta
Closed for the season
Space Weather
Solar storms, Auroras
Thesaurus
NASA Multimedia Gallery Sky Map: the interactive planetarium of the Web
Sky Watch: Calendar of celestial events
Weather Underground
Maps and Satellite
Do, Please Feed
Dear Webby!
Privacy Policy
Unique visitors since 1/1/11
Have FUN
Dear Webby
CEO of Webby, Inc
EB (Eligible Bachelor) DearWebby @ webby.com
Box 646
Black Diamond, AB T0L 0H0
Canada |
Unique visitors since 1/1/11
|
