Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, October 29 ____________________________________________________ Today, October 29 in 1940 The first peacetime military draft began in the U.S. to get ready for the planned WWII. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Kansas man sentenced to 3 life terms _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! _______________________________________________ A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to know something. --- Wilson Mizner (1876 - 1933) _______________________________________________ >From Eva Helping me sort clothes into "save" and "give away" piles, my six-year-old daughter came across a garter belt. "What's this?" she asked. "It's a garter belt," I said. Seeing that meant nothing to her, I added, "It's for holding up stockings." "Ah," she said, carefully placing it in the "save" pile, "we'll use it on Christmas Eve." ________________________________________________` ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Damian Hallacy, 41, Wichita, Kansas Kansas man sentenced to 3 life terms A 41-year-old Wichita man has been sentenced to three life terms for 25 sex crimes involving six children. The Sedgwick County DA's office says the three life sentences ordered for Damian Hallacy will run consecutive. He was convicted last month on 25 sex-related charges that included rape of a child under the age of 14, sexual exploitation of a child, aggravated indecent liberties and aggravated criminal sodomy. Hallacy was arrested in January 2018 following a four-month- long investigation led by the Exploited and Missing Child Unit. He was accused of sex crimes dating back to 2011 that involved children ranging in age from eight to 15. With good behavior he will get 1/3 off and be released after two life terms. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Anna Re: Reminder service Dear Webby, you once mentioned a reminder service, but I forgot what it was. Can you please mention it again? Thanks Anna Dear Anna Try http://www.mymemorizer.com/ It works great with email, and you can even set it to send a text message to your cellphone to wake you up. I have used MyMemorizer for about 25 years, never a problem. You don't even have to download anything. Just make an account and then log in from anywhere, with any device. For example, you can log in with Gramma's phone, while visiting her, and create reminders for yourself. You can set it to send you reminder emails days or weeks before an event to help you get ready to nag somebody about a forgotten anniversary. There are many more features included. And it is free, without any ads or nagging. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. A Sunday school teacher said to her children, 'We have been Learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times.. But, there is a HigherPower. Can anybody tell me what it is?' One child blurted out, 'Aces!' | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
> from Marilyn Like all growing boys, my teenage grandson, Jermon, was constantly hungry. I went to my refrigerator to find something he might like to eat. After poking around a bit and moving the milk and juice cartons, I spotted a bowl of leftover chili. "Hey, Jermon," I called out excitedly. He came running into the kitchen. "Look! I found some chili." Struggling to be polite, he said, "If you're that surprised, I'm not really sure I want it." ----------------- Idjit! If Chili is not green or moving, it is still good! Chili, like stew, is better when reheated! ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com font color="#009990"> Removing Pen Ink from Leather Spray a little hairspray (the cheap stuff works best) on the ink, let it sit for a few seconds, and wipe it off. Quite often, the ink will come right off. Be sure to test this solution in an inconspicuous place first to make sure it doesn't mark the leather. I don't use hair spray, but I have had good results with WD40. It does not discolor leather. Have FUN! DearWebby ____________________________________________________ | | Ghost Busters Halloween Light Show |
___________________________________________________ There is a mental institution that every year picks two of it's most reformed patients and questions them. If they get the questions right they are free to leave. This year the two lucky gents were Greg and Mike. They were called down to the office and left there by the orderly. They were told to wait as the doctor got their files. The doctor came out and motioned for Greg to come in for his questioning. When Greg came into the office he was instructed to sit in the seat across from the doctor. "Greg you know the tradition of this institution so I imagine you know why you are here. You will be asked two questions, and if you get them right, you will be free to go. Do you understand all that you have been told?" said the doctor with a rather sly grin. Greg nodded and the doctor began to question him. The first question was this. "Greg if I was to poke out one of your eyes what would happen?" "I would be half blind of course," Greg answered without much thought. "What would happen if I poked out the other eye?" "I would be completely blind," said Greg knowing that he had just gotten his freedom. The doctor then sent him outside while he drew up the paperwork and accessed Mike's files. When Greg got into the waiting room however, he told Mike what the questions would be and what the correct answers were. The doctor calls in Mike and he ! followed the same procedure that he had with Greg. "Mike the first question is what would happen if I cut off your ear?" "I would be blind in one eye," he said remembering what he had been told. This received a perplexed look from the doctor but he just simply asks the other question so that he could figure out what the man was thinking. "Mike, what would happen if I cut off your other ear?" "I would be completely blind," he answered with a smile as if he knew he had passed. But then the doctor asked him what his reasoning was, and he said flatly, "My hat would fall down over my eyes!" ___________________________________________________ Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done. Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands. ___________________________________________________ A woman picked up a few items in the supermarket, then headed for the express line. The till mechanic standing at the till had his back turned to her, while he talked on the phone to the manager about the till malfunction. So she said to him, "Excuse me, I'm in a hurry. Could you check me out, please?" The till mechanic turned, looked her up and down and said, "Not too bad looking at all, for your age." __________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, October 29 in 1618 Sir Walter Raleigh was beheaded under a sentence that had been brought against him 15 years earlier for conspiracy against King James I. 1652 The Massachusetts Bay Colony proclaimed itself to be an independent commonwealth. 1682 William Penn landed at what is now Chester, PA. He was the founder of Pennsylvania. 1863 The International Committee of the Red Cross was founded. 1901 Leon Czolgosz, the assassin of U.S. President McKinley, was electrocuted. 1923 Turkey formally became a republic after the dissolution of the Ottoman Empire. The first president was Mustafa Kemal, later known as Kemal Ataturk. 1929 America's Great Depression began with the crash of the Wall Street stock market. 1940 The first peacetime military draft began in the U.S. to get ready for the planned WWII. 1945 The first ballpoint pens to be made commercially went on sale at Gimbels Department Store in New York at the price of $12.50 each. 1956 Israel invaded Egypt's Sinai Peninsula during the Suez Canal Crisis. 1959 General Mills became the first corporation to use close- circuit television. 1960 Muhammad Ali (Cassius Clay) won his first professional fight. 1966 The National Organization for Women was founded. 1969 The U.S. Supreme Court ordered an immediate end to all school segregation. 1973 O.J. Simpson, of the Buffalo Bills, set two NFL records. He carried the ball 39 times and he ran 157 yards putting him over 1,000 yards at the seventh game of the season. 1974 U.S. President Gerald Ford signed a new law forbidding discrimination in credit applications on the basis of sex or marital status 1990 The U.N. Security Council voted to hold Saddam Hussein's regime liable for human rights abuses and war damages during its occupation of Kuwait. 1991 The U.S. Galileo spacecraft became the first to visit an asteroid (Gaspra). 1991 Trade sanctions were imposed on Haiti by the U.S. to pressure the new leaders to restore the ousted President Jean- Bertrand Aristide to power. 1992 Depo Provera, a contraceptive, was approved by the Food and Drug Administration. 1998 South Africa's Truth and Reconciliation Commission condemned both apartheid and violence committed by the African National Congress. 1998 The space shuttle Discovery blasted off with John Glenn on board. Glenn was 77 years old. In 1962 he became the first American to orbit the Earth. 1998 The oldest known copy of Archimedes' work sold for $2 million at a New York auction. 2001 KTLA broadcasted the first coast to coast HDTV network telecast. 2019 Do smiled. |
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