Good Morning, Do, Today is Sunday, May 13 Thank You, F.Lee! Happy Mothers Day! Have FUN! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Stalker sent man 65,000 texts after one date, giving stalking a bad name. Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, May 13 in 1607 An expedition led by Captain Christopher Newport arrived at Jamestown, Virginia. The passengers went ashore the next day and this site became the first permanent settlement English colony in America. More of today in history at HIstory ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ Progress isn't made by early risers. It's made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something. --- Robert Heinlein (1907 - 1988) A gossip is one who talks to you about others, a bore is one who talks to you about himself; and a brilliant conver- sationalist is one who talks to you about yourself. --- Lisa Kirk Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. --- Rich Cook ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Seven year old Johnny had finished his vacation and gone back to school. Two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that John was misbehaving. "Wait a minute," she said. "I had Johnny here for two months and I never called you once when he misbehaved." _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Just friends _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! _____________________________________________________ One day, a little girl is sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly notices that her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette hair. She looks at her mother and inquisitively asks, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that a little girl does something wrong and makes her mommy cry or makes her unhappy, one of her hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and said: "You muft have really piffed off Grandma." _______________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jacqueline Ades, 31, Paradise Valley,, Arizona Stalker sent man 65,000 texts after one date, giving stalking a bad name. A woman is accused of breaking into an Arizona home, bathing in the homeowner's bathtub, and sending tens of thousands of disturbing text messages to the man's phone after the pair went on one date, according to KNXV. In July 2017, 31-year-old Jacqueline Ades was found parked outside of the victim's Paradise Valley home, police said. The man also accused her of repeatedly texting him, despite him saying he no longer wanted to talk to her. Officers found Ades still outside the victim's home when they arrived and told her to leave, officials said. Shortly after, the man started to receive threatening text messages from the suspect. Police received a similar report in December from the same residence, but officers were unable to locate her. On April 8, the victim called a detective a third time, saying he was out of the country, but saw Ades in his home while checking his home surveillance video. When officers arrived at the home, the woman was taking a bath, police said. A large butcher knife was discovered on the passenger's seat of her car, court paperwork said. She was taken into custody and charged with trespassing. After Ades was released from jail, she allegedly started sending more threatening text messages to the victim some of the messages alluded that harm may come to him, authorities said. Less than three weeks later, the victim called authorities to report receiving multiple threatening text messages from her, court documents said. The man also explained that they met on a dating website, and after one date Ades began stalking and harassing him. Ades allegedly sent about 65,000 text messages to the man's phone. The victim said that she sent about 500 text messages to him a day, court documents said. In one of Ades' messages, she allegedly stated, Don't ever try to leave me I'll kill you I don't wanna be a murderer. She also said that she wanted to wear his body parts and bathe in his blood, court paperwork said. On May 4, police were called to a business in Scottsdale after passersby reported Ades acting irrationally and claiming to be the owner's wife, police said. The owner of the business is the Paradise Valley homeowner. Ades was arrested on Tuesday on charges of threatening, stalking and harassment. While being questioned by police, the suspect explained that she sent the man text messages all day but he never responded, court documents said. She said that she threatened him because she was worried he had called police to report her behavior. The woman is also accused of admitting that she threatened him because she didn't want him to leave and because she loved him, court paperwork said. She allegedly admitted to knowing her statements were crazy and plans to return to Florida once she's released. Tech Support Pits From: BundlePuppy: Re: Reversed PIN Dear Webby I received this fwd from a friend of mine and was wondering if this information about using your pin in reverse order to signal, that you are under duress, is true or just another Internet scam? BundlePuppy Dear BundlePuppy It's not a scam, since nobody profits from it, but it's not true. While the Reverse PIN has worked fine for three decades on burglar alarm and door access systems, the banks are fighting the Reverse PIN tooth and nail and with heavy lobbying at the state and federal level. What is really hypocritical, is that most banks use the Reverse PIN trick on their door access systems, but spend big money lobbying against it's use at the ATM level. Since the ATMs already have a modem and already are connected, and often also have a separate connection for a security alarm, it would just be a matter of a few lines of code in the bank side programming. Instead they use lame excuses such as that there might some day be a victim who gets confused during the stress of a hold-up and might not be able to reverse the number. It's tough luck for the Billions who would have no problem punching in the PIN in reverse order, just like they got it written on the back page of their checkbook. Have FUN DearWebby We were listening to a lecture on psychic phenomena in our Comparative Religions course. Our instructor told us about a woman who contacted police working on a missing-persons case. "She gave eerily detailed instructions on where to find the body," the teacher said. "In fact, the detectives did find the body just as she had described. Now what would you call that kind of person?" While the rest of us pondered the question, a sheriff's officer taking the course raised his hand and replied, "A suspect." Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. Thanks to Rubye for this story: A Florida couple, both well into their 80s, goes to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asks, "What can I do for you?" The man says, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?" The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice that he agrees. When the couple finishes, the doctor says, "There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse." He thanks them for coming, he wishes them good luck, charges them $50, and says good-bye. The next week, however, the couple returns and asks the sex therapist to watch again. The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees. This happens several weeks in a row. The couple makes an appointment, they have intercourse with no problems, pay the doctor, then leave. Finally, after 5 or 6 weeks of this routine, the doctor says, "I'm sorry, but I have to ask. Just what are you trying to find out?" The old man says, "We're not trying to find out anything. She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $98. The Hilton charges $139. We do it here for $50, and I get $43 back from Medicare. | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
His wife had just bought a new line of expensive cosmetics absolutely guaranteed to make her looks years longer. She sat in front of the mirror for what had to be hours applying the "miracle" products. Finally, when she was done, she turned to her husband and said, "Hon, honestly now, what age would you say I am?" He nodded his head in assessment, and carefully said, "Well, hon, judging from your skin, twenty. Your hair, mmmm, eighteen. Your figure, twenty-five." "Oh, you're so sweet!" "Well, hang on, I'm not done adding it up yet." ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Save on Fabric Softener I mix 4-5 caps full of liquid softener in a gallon of water. I keep a few small sponges in the bucket, wring one out and toss it in the dryer. This works great and saves on dryer sheets. When you take the clothes out of the dryer, put the sponge back in the bucket. By Shellie Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ A husband and wife went to the fairgrounds. The wife wanted to go on the Ferris wheel, but the husband wasn't comfortable with that. So the wife went on the ride by herself. The wheel went round and round and suddenly the wife was thrown out and landed in a heap at her husband's feet. "Are you hurt?" he asked. "Of course I'm hurt!" she replied. "Three times around and you didn't wave once!" | Happy Mother's Day to all the wonderful Moms out there. |
___________________________________________________ A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife: "I have decided to plant some vegetables in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?" The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replied in a letter, "Dear wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where the dope dealer next door buries all his dope and money. He might get upset!" A week or so later, he received another letter from his wife: "You won't believe what happened, some men came with shovels to the house, and dug up all the back garden." The prisoner wrote another letter: "Dear wife, now is the best time to plant the vegetables." ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
____________________________________________________ >From Hank My wife and I were dining out at a nice restaurant. I overheard the couple at the next table discussing their bill. "Well Mary," said the man, "Near as I can figure, based of the price of the ham dinner you just ate, we got a hog back on the farm that's worth at least $137,000." ____________________________________________________ | Today, May 13 in 1607 An expedition led by Captain Christopher Newport arrived at Jamestown, Virginia. The passengers went ashore the next day and this site became the first permanent settlement English colony in America. 1779 The War of Bavarian Succession ended. 1787 Captain Arthur Phillip left Britain for Australia. He successfully landed eleven ships full of convicts on January 18, 1788, at Botany Bay. The group moved north eight days later and settled at Port Jackson. 1821 The first practical American printing press was patented in the U.S. by Samuel Rust. 1846 The U.S. declared that war existed with Mexico. 1861 Britain declared its neutrality in the American Civil War. 1864 The Battle of Resaca commenced as Union General Sherman fought towards Atlanta during the American Civil War. 1865 The last land engagement of the American Civil War was fought at the Battle of Palmito Ranch in far south Texas, more than a month after Gen. Lee's surrender at Appomattox, VA. 1880 Thomas Edison tested his experimental electric railway in Menlo Park. 1888 Slavery was abolished in Brazil. 1897 Guglielmo Marconi sent the world's first wireless communication over open sea. 1913 Igor Sikorsky flew the first four engine aircraft. 1917 Near Fatima, Portugal, three peasant children reported seeing a vision of the Virgin Mary. 1927 "Black Friday" occurred in Germany. 1949 The first gas turbine to pump natural gas was installed in Wilmar, AR. 1954 U.S. President Eisenhower signed into law the St. Lawrence Seaway Development Act. 1958 French troops took control of Algiers. 1958 U.S. Vice President Nixon's limousine was battered by rocks thrown by anti-U.S. demonstrators in Caracas, Venezuela. 1968 Peace talks between the U.S. and North Vietnam began in Paris. 1975 Hailstones the size of tennis balls hit Wenerville, TN. 1985 A confrontation between Philadelphia authorities and the radical group MOVE ended as police dropped an explosive onto the group's headquarters. Eleven people died in the fire that resulted. 1998 India did a second round of nuclear tests. The first round had been done 2 days earlier. Within hours the U.S. and Japan imposed tough economic sanctions. India claimed that the tests were necessary to maintain India's national security. 1999 In Moscow, the impeachment of Russian President Boris Yeltsin began. 2018 Do smiled. |
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