Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, October 18 ___________________________________________________ International Bonehead Award Trouble For Suspect Who Gave Cops Name That Stunk _____________________________________________________ Today, October 18 in 1970 Quebec's minister of labor was found strangled to death after eight days of being held captive by the Quebec Liberation Front (FLQ). _____________________________________________________ Fortune can, for her pleasure, fools advance, And toss them on the wheels of Chance. --- Juvenal (55 AD - 127 AD) Efficiency is intelligent laziness. --- Socratex _____________________________________________________ A three-year-old boy went with his dad to see a new litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother, "There were two boy kittens and two girl kittens." "How did you know that?" his mother asked. "Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he replied. "I think it's printed on the bottom. _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ A man was having trouble getting his neighbor to keep his chickens fenced in. The neighbor kept talking about chickens being great creatures, and as such they had the right to go where they wanted. The man was having no luck keeping the chickens out of his flowerbeds, and he had tried everything. Two weeks later, on a visit a friend noticed his flowerbeds were doing great. The flowers were beginning to bloom. So the friend asked him how he managed to keep the birds away. "How did you make your neighbor keep his hens in his own yard?" "One night I hid half a dozen eggs under a bush by my flower bed, and the next day I let my neighbor see me gather them. I wasn't bothered after that." ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Melinda Lynn Guerrero, 33, St. Petersburg, Florida, USA Trouble For Suspect Who Gave Cops Name That Stunk A Florida Woman arrested for trespassing was hit with a second criminal charge when, after being asked to identify herself, she repeatedly told cops that her name was My butt just farted, records show. Melinda Lynn Guerrero, 33, was collared Wednesday evening after refusing to leave a Mobil gas station in St. Petersburg. Following her arrest, Guerrero refused to provide her name to police, according to a criminal complaint. Cops asked multiple times, but defendant repeatedly said, My name is my butt just farted. Officers subsequently identified Guerrero as the accused trespasser--likely due to the fact that her photo and fingerprints are on file in connection with a series of arrests over the past several years. Also, she has Guerrero tattooed on her back. Police noted that Guerrero may have been under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol. Charged with trespassing and providing a false name to law enforcement, both misdemeanors, Guerrero (seen above) was released yesterday afternoon from the county jail on her own recognizance. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Daniella RE: Grant Dear Webby, What am I supposed to do when some bubbly bimbo writes to me about a Government grant that is waiting for me? Daniella Dear Daniella Don't waste time on it. Just dump it. Anything else will prove that your address is live, and that you can be spammed, and possibly scammed. Have FUN! DearWebby | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ Mother had decided to trim her household budget wherever possible, so instead of having a dress dry-cleaned she washed it by hand. Proud of her savings, she boasted to my father, "Just think, we are five dollars richer because I washed this dress by hand." "Good," my dad quickly replied. "Wash it again!" ____________________________________________ Two brawny men came to my house to install some new floor covering in the kitchen. Once they had moved the stove and refrigerator out of the way, it was not long before the job was done. As they were getting ready to leave, I asked them to put the heavy appliances back in place. The two men said that would cost an additional $45 service fee, stating it was not in their contract. I really had no choice but to pay them. As soon as they left, however, the doorbell rang. It was the two men. They asked me to move my car, which was blocking their van. I told them my fee: $55.95. ____________________________________________ A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, looking at the old pages as he turned them. Then something fell out of the Bible and he picked up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree. The leaf had been pressed in between pages. "Momma, look what I found", the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked. With astonishment in the young boy's voice he answered: "It's Adam's suit!!!!!" ____________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today October 18 in 1469 Ferdinand of Aragon married Isabella of Castile. The marriage united all the dominions of Spain. 1685 King Louis XIV of France revoked the Edict of Nantes, which had established the legal toleration of the Protestant population. 1767 The Mason-Dixon line was agreed upon. It was the boundary between Maryland and Pennsylvania. 1842 Samuel Finley Breese Morse laid his first telegraph cable. 1860 British troops burned Yuanmingyuan at the end of the Second Opium War. 1867 The U.S. took formal possession of Alaska from Russia. The land was purchased for a total of $7 million dollars (2 cents per acre). 1892 The first long-distance telephone line between Chicago, IL, and New York City, NY, was opened. 1898 The American flag was raised in Puerto Rico only one year after the Caribbean nation won its independence from Spain. 1929 The Judicial Committee of Englands Privy Council ruled that women were to be considered as persons in Canada. 1944 Czechoslovakia was invaded by the Soviets during World War II. 1958 The first computer-arranged marriage took place on Art Linkletter's show. 1961 Henri Matiss' "Le Bateau" went on display at New York's Museum of Modern Art. It was discovered 46 days later that the painting had been hanging upside down. 1968 Two black athletes, Tommie Smith and John Carlos, were suspended by the U.S. Olympic Committee for giving a "black power" salute during a ceremony in Mexico City. 1969 The U.S. government banned artificial sweeteners due to evidence that they caused cancer. 1970 Quebec's minister of labor was found strangled to death after eight days of being held captive by the Quebec Liberation Front (FLQ). 1983 General Motors agreed to hire more women and minorities for five years as part of a settlement with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. 1985 South African authorities hanged black activist Benjamin Moloise. Moloise had been convicted of murdering a police officer. 1989 Egon Krenz became the leader of East Germany after Erich Honecker was ousted. Honeker had been in power for 18 years. 1989 The space shuttle Atlantis was launched on a mission that included the deployment of the Galileo space probe. 1990 Iraq made an offer to the world that it would sell oil for $21 a barrel. The price level was the same as it had been before the invasion of Kuwait. 1997 A monument honoring U.S. servicewomen, past and present, was dedicated at Arlington National Cemetery. 2006 Microsoft released Internet Explorer 7.0. 2013 Saudi Arabia became the first nation to reject a seat on the United Nations Security Council. Jordan took the seat on December 6. 2020 Do smiled. |
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