Good Morning, Do, Today is Monday, July 24 Last night as I came back from my walk I saw a deer in the back yard snacking on the scraggly dandylions (arrigula) and not appearing worried at all. Have Fun! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Dopey dealer reports himself Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 24 in 1847 Mormon leader Brigham Young and his followers arrived in the valley of the Great Salt Lake in present-day Utah. 1847 Mormon leader Brigham Young and his followers arrived in the valley of the Great Salt Lake in present-day Utah. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog. --- Doug Larson ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A salesman, tired of his job, gave it up to become a policeman. Several months later, a friend asked him how he liked his new role. "Well," he replied, "the pay is good and the hours aren't bad, but what I like best is that the customer is always wrong." _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Newly wed Angus McKenzie comes in to the room and says to his wife, "I'm going to the pub. Get your coat on." The wife, overjoyed that he has included her in his activity, replies, "Does that mean that you are taking me with you, darling?" Angus replies, "No. I'm turning the off the heat." -------------- I would not be surprised if she comes over here to borrow a bible and warm up a bit. ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by David Blackmon, 32, Okaloosa, Floriduh Dopey dealer reports himself He called the police to report that he had been robbed of his stash of cocaine, according to the Miami Herald. Fort Walton Beach resident David Blackmon called sheriff's deputies Sunday morning to report the theft of his cocaine stash about a quarter ounce and $50 from the center console of his vehicle, in the process actually informing the responding deputy that he was indeed a drug dealer. The Okaloosa County Sheriff's Office shared the incident on its Facebook page, no doubt to the amusement of their followers and supporters. Self Described Drug Dealer Calls OCSO to Report Theft of Cocaine A Fort Walton Beach man called the Okaloosa County Sheriff's Office Sunday morning to report that someone had stolen a baggie of cocaine and cash from his car. 32-year old David Blackmon of 119 Carson Drive, who identified himself as a drug dealer, told the responding deputy that someone entered his car while it was parked at 400 Ed Street and stole $50.00 and about a quarter ounce of cocaine off the center console. The deputy however spotted cocaine still in that spot. He also found a crack pipe on the floorboard by the driver's door and seat and a crack rock on the center console by the cocaine. The money was not located. Blackmon is charged with possession of cocaine, resisting arrest without violence, and possession of drug paraphernalia. Unfortunately for Blackmon, while he may have been the victim of a theft by another criminal, it was he himself who ended up in cuffs and the back of the deputy's patrol vehicle, as a search of his own vehicle turned up some remnants of the stolen quarter ounce of cocaine and a crack rock on the center console, as well as a crack pipe on the driver's side floorboard. According to The Washington Times, Blackmon was arrested and charged with possession of cocaine and resisting arrest without violence. He was released from the Okaloosa County jail on Monday after posting $4,000 bail. There was no word on when he is due back in court to face the felony cocaine possession charge he has been slapped with. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Jaye Re: Scanning with computer off Dear Webby, I am wondering if my Computer is off will my Norton still do it's scheduled scan? I also have McAfee scanning my e-mail too. The Crap Cleaner is a neat program. But I am wondering if I am supposed to Analyze first, then Run or does it not make any difference. At one point of the scan it asks me if I really want to delete these files. I was not sure about this but did it anyway and so far does not seem to have hurt anything. Thank you for recommending it to one of your readers, I run it weekly. My son works with computers and all 18 of his business Computers are running well using the Crap Cleaner. Sincerely, Jaye When your computer is off, nothing happens, except for the dust bunnies having an orgy in the case. If you meant keeping the computer running but going off the Internet, that is indeed a good idea for while you are scanning. With Crap Cleaner the Analyze function is mainly to show you how much space you will reclaim when you run it. Regarding deleting files, you can uncheck stuff that you want to keep, for example cookies. Once you have set it to your preferences, it's quite safe to run it without analyzing, and deleting what it recommends to dump. Have FUN! DearWebby On a recent radio station appearance, "Uncle" Larry Reeb was asked, "Are you a college man?" He replied, "Nope. I stayed HOME and got drunk. I couldn't afford that $20,000 cover charge." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Paper Towel Rolls as Yarn Organizer By KIM HOGGAN Paper Towel Rolls as Yarn Organizer yarn wrapped around paper tubesHere is a way to keep yarn from being tangled using paper towel and toilet paper rolls. Get a roll and tie a knot at the end. Begin to wrap yarn around just by turning the roll. Once done cut a small slanted line at the edge to insert yarn until needed. ____________________________________________________ | | kitten tries to catch dog's wagging tail |
____________________________________________________ The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination was complete, he said, "Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me." "Well, in plain English," the doctor replied, "you're just a lazy old fart." "OK," said the man. "Now give me the latin term so I can tell my wife." ___________________________________________________ | | These wood sculptures look good enough to eat! |
___________________________________________________ The fourth-grade class was studying the development of the auto industry. The teacher had emphasized the role played by Henry Ford, whose assembly lines decreased production costs. At the end of the unit, she gave a test including the question: "What did Henry Ford invent that made buying a car more affordable?" One of the brightest students in the class wrote: "0% financing." | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
____________________________________________________ It was a sexual harassment case, and it had been a long day. The young lady accusing her boss said that she was too embarrassed to repeat the words that he said to her. The Judge suggested she write them down and that the words be shown to himself and the jury. She passed the note, which read - 'Go and take your knickers off, then come sit on my knee and have a drink with me tonight', to the Judge, who then passed it on to Fred, the foreperson of the jury. Fred went to pass it on to the next juror, a middle-aged spinster who had nodded off in the stuffy courtroom. He had to nudge her to bring back full consciousness. She woke, read the note, smiled, read it a second time, winked and nodded at Fred, then put the note in her handbag! ____________________________________________________ | Today, on July 24, in 1847 Mormon leader Brigham Young and his followers arrived in the valley of the Great Salt Lake in present-day Utah. 1847 Richard M. Hoe patented the rotary-type printing press. 1923 The Treaty of Lausanne, which settled the boundaries of modern Turkey, was concluded in Switzerland. 1948 Soviet occupation forces in Germany blockaded West Berlin. The U.S.-British airlift began the following day. 1969 The Apollo 11 astronauts splashed down safely in the Pacific Ocean. 1978 Billy Martin was fired for the first of three times as the manager of the New York Yankees baseball team. 1987 Hulda Crooks, at 91 years of age, climbed Mt. Fuji. Hulda became the oldest person to climb Japan's highest peak. 2017 Do smiled. |
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