Good Morning, Do, Today is Sunday, December 10 Have Fun! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Florida Man Accused of Posing as Uber Driver and Holding Women in South Carolina Arrested Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, December 10 in 1520 Martin Luther publicly burned the papal edict. The papacy demanded that he recant or face excommunication. Luther refused and was formally expelled from the church in January 1521. 1845 British civil engineer Robert Thompson patented the first pneumatic tires. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to. --- Elvis Presley (1935 - 1977) The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth. --- Niels Bohr (1885 - 1962) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ During class, the chemistry professor was demonstrating the properties of various acids. "Now I'm going to drop this silver coin into this glass of acid. Will it dissolve?" "No sir," one student called out. "No?" queried the professor. "Perhaps you can explain why the silver won't dissolve in this particular acid." "Because if it would, you would have asked for MY coin!" _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Slash, a well-known murderer, had been on death row for nearly 20 years. During that time, he had befriended the Warden. Now, the Warden still had a job to do, but that didn't stop him from treatin' Slash special from time to time. A week before Slash was to go to the electric chair, the Warden asked Slash if there was anything special he would like. Slash thought for a bit and said he would like the Warden to contact his wife and have her make meatloaf for him the rest of his life (which by this time, was short). Of course, the Warden complied and each day, Slash sat down and had a big feed of his wife's meatloaf. The night before the big day, another prisoner was allowed to visit Slash and asked him. "Aren't you afraid of dying tomorrow?" Slash answered' "I ain't gonna die tomorrow." The other prisoner then said, "but tomorrow is Friday and we all know, that's the day they're sendin' you to the electric chair." "Don't matter," said Slash, "if this meatloaf can't kill me, nothin' can." ______________________________________________________ ____________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! _____________________________________________________ From Vic While working in a Polish neighborhood in Chicago, I sustained a small injury to my eye from some flying debris around a construction site. It was giving me some trouble, so I visited an ophthalmologist in the local neighborhood. The doctor pointed to the eye chart, displaying the letters 'CVKPNWXSCZ'. "Can you read that?" the doc asked. "Can I read it?" I replied. "Yes, sure. I think I dated her sister!" _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Farris Kaloti, 28, Pinecrest, Florida Florida Man Accused of Posing as Uber Driver and Holding Women in South Carolina Arrested A South Florida man who is accused of assaulting women while posing as an Uber driver near the University of South Carolina has been arrested, authorities said. Farris Kaloti, 28, was taken into custody Thursday, Pinecrest Police said. Police at the University of South Carolina say Kaloti had been on and around campus offering rides to female students. Once they were in his car he would take them somewhere other than their desired destination and would refuse to let them out of the car, police said. After seeing reports about Kaloti, a Pinecrest detective who regularly visits Wholefoods recognized Kaloti as a frequent customer, and a Wholefoods customer reported seeing him in the store. Police set up surveillance and took him into custody. Kaloti is not known to have committed a crime in Pinecrest. Officials said they have been in contact with police in South Carolina. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Merv Re: SD for backups Dear Webby, In regards to CDs for backup, I've found some of my CDs, such as, well especially Kodak eventually get holes in them. If you hold them up to a light source the holes are evident. All my backups are done on flash-drives or external hard- drive media. Even SD cards are more reliable than CDs. I think due to my experience with CDs I wouldn't trust them with any important storage at all. Kind regards, Merv Australia Dear Merv I agree with you 100%. That is why I don't recommend CDs for backups. Commercial music CDs MIGHT last longer, because they are not burned but punched. I also agree that SD cards are much more reliable. The only part about them, that I don't like, are their small size and tendency to get lost. Some day I will have to get organized and devise a permanent way to store them. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. An elderly lady, who lived on the third floor of a boarding house, broke her leg. As the doctor put a cast on it, he warned her not to climb any stairs. Several months later, the doctor took off the cast. "Can I climb stairs now?" asked the little old lady. "Yes," he replied. "Thank goodness!" she said. "I'm sick and tired of shinnying up and down that drainpipe every time I have to take the garbage out to the curb or check my mail!" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Mrs. Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty. The Father said, "Top o' the mornin' to ye! Aren't ye Mrs. Donovan and didn't I marry ye and yer husband 2 years ago?" She replied, "Aye, that ye did, Father." The Father asked, "And be there any wee ones yet?" She replied, "No, not yet, Father." The Father said, "Well now, I'm going to Rome next week and I'll light a candle for ye and yer husband." She replied, "Oh, thank ye, Father." They parted ways. Some years later they met again. The Father asked, "Well now, Mrs.Donovan, how are ye these days?" She replied, "Oh, very well, Father!" The Father asked, "And tell me, have ye any wee ones yet?" She replied, "Oh yes, Father! Three sets of twins and 4 singles, 10 in all!" The Father said, "That's wonderful!" How is yer loving husband doing?" She replied, "E's gone to Rome to blow up yer foo.. damn candle." ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Kitchen Time Saver - Squeeze Bottles Squeeze bottles like the ones restaurants often use for ketchup and mustard can be great for condiments in your kitchen. If you make your own salad dressing or buy it bulk, you can transfer the dressing to squeeze bottles for easy use. Squeeze bottles also work well for mayonnaise, jelly and many other condiments that usually come in jars. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com font> ____________________________________________________ Jim was a just out of boot camp, and was on his first ship. About two hours out of port, he began to get a bit ill from the motion of the ship. He approached an ensign, also just out of training and on his first cruise. He saluted and said, "Excuse me sir, I am feeling seasick, and I wondered if I may have permis- sion to go downstairs to the dispensary." The ensign returned his salute and replied, "Sailor, you are in the Navy now. You don't go downstairs, you go below! There is no dispensary on this ship, there is sickbay. Not only that, that is not the floor, it is a deck, that is not the ceiling, it is the overhead, that is not a pillar, it is a stanchion, that is not a water fountain, it is a scuttlebutt. If I ever hear you using civilian words instead of Naval jargon, I till throw you out of that little round window over there." | | Amazing hand cut paper animals. |
A woman went into a hardware store to purchase a bale of peat moss. She gave a personal check in payment and said to the clerk, "I suppose you will want some identification." He replied, without hesitation, "No ma'am, that won't be necessary." "How come?" asked the woman. "Crooks don't buy peat moss." answered the clerk. ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
____________________________________________________ | Today, December 10, in 1520 Martin Luther publicly burned the papal edict. The papacy demanded that he recant or face excommunication. Luther refused and was formally expelled from the church in January 1521. 1845 British civil engineer Robert Thompson patented the first pneumatic tires. 1869 Women were granted the right to vote in the Wyoming Territory. 1898 A treaty was signed in Paris that officially ended the Spanish-American War. Also, Cuba became independent of Spain. 1901 The first Nobel prizes were awarded. 1906 U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt became the first American to be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, for helping mediate an end to the Russo-Japanese War. 1939 The National Football League's attendance exeeded 1 million in a season for the first time. 1941 Japan invaded the Philippines. 1941 The Royal Naval battleships Prince of Wales and Repulse were sunk by Japanese aircraft in the Battle of Malaya. 1948 The United Nations General Assembly adopted its Universal Declaration on Human Rights. 1950 Dr. Ralph J. Bunche was presented the Nobel Peace Prize. He was the first African-American to receive the award. Bunche was awarded the prize for his efforts in mediation between Israel and neighboring Arab states. 1953 Hugh Hefner published the first "Playboy" magazine with an investment of $7,600. 1958 The first domestic passenger jet flight took place in the U.S. when 111 passengers flew from New York to Miami on a National Airlines Boeing 707. 1964 In Oslo, Norway, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. received the Nobel Peace Prize. He was the youngest person to receive the award. 1982 The Law of the Sea Convention was signed by 118 countries in Montego Bay, Jamaica. 23 nations and the U.S. were excluded. 1983 Raul Alfonsin was inaugurated as Argentina's first civilian president after nearly eight years of military rule. 1984 South African Bishop Desmond Tutu received the Nobel Peace Prize. 1990 The U.S. Food & Drug Administration approved Norplant, a long-acting contraceptive implant. 1991 The play Revival "The Crucible" opened. 1992 Oregon Senator Bob Packwood apologized for what he called "unwelcome and offensive" actions toward women. However, he refused to resign. 1993 The crew of the space shuttle Endeavor deployed the repaired Hubble Space Telescope into Earth's orbit. 1994 Advertising executive Thomas Mosser of North Caldwell, NJ, was killed by a mail bomb that was blamed on the Unabomber. 1994 Yasser Arafat, Shimon Peres and Yitzhak Rabin received the Nobel Peace Prize. They pledged to pursue their mission of healing the Middle East. 1995 The first U.S. Marines arrived in the Bosnian capital of Sarajevo to join NATO soldiers sent to enforce peace in the former Yugoslavia. 1996 South Africa's President Mandela signed into law a new democratic constitution, completing the country's transition from white-minority rule to black democracy. 1998 Six astronauts opened the doors to the new international space station 250 miles above the Earth's surface. 1998 The Palestinian leadership scrapped constitutional clauses that rejected Israel's existence. 1999 After three years under suspicion of being a spy for China, computer scientist Wen Ho Lee was arrested. He was charged with removing secrets from the Los Alamos weapons lab. Lee later pled guilty to one count of downloading restricted data to tape and was freed. The other 58 counts were dropped. 2003 The U.S. barred firms based in certain countries, opponents of the Iraq war, from bidding on Iraqi reconstruction projects. The ban did not prevent companies from winning subcontracts. 2007 Cristina Fernandez was sworn in as Argentina's first elected female president. 2017 Do smiled. |
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